The Graveyards We Leave Behind

It is dark again, but it is not empty darkness like the Ark. The night here is filed with a thousand stars twinkling above. The moon is not a rock but a sliver of light. There is a hum of bugs and a fire burning beside their ship. There are whispers, laughs, and moans. If he had only loved her, their bodies could be writing a romance novel somewhere in the woods.

Before she could say anything to Octavia earlier, the young girl had vanished from the crash site with a few others on a mission to Mount Weather in hopes of finding supplies. She wonders how it will sound to hear her laugh again.

Now, Nyx sits on the ground smelling the soil, the air, the burning of the wood a few feet away. Everything is new, yet everything is dull. Her eyes search the groups and land on Bellamy who has a cup of moonshine in one hand and ass in the other. This does not faze her for the time being as her eyes continue to move only to settle on a young man strolling her way.

"Nate."

"Nyx."

Their greetings are short. When he passes her, she stands and follows in his stride to a small tent some feet away. What was left of the parachute is lit well enough by the fire, but secluded well enough from the others to prevent unwanted company. Nate glances at her, wondering if this is still acceptable to expect. She does not notice his eyes burning into her but is satisfied enough to lie on the cool ground in compliance with his wants.

"It's been a few months since I've seen you. You snuck onboard with Blake," he says as he takes his place next to her on the ground, knowing enough to assume instead of ask. It has been about three months since he's been thrown in the Skybox for theft. Three months since he's touched her last.

"I did," she replies as she rolls over to straddle him.

"It's only our first night. We have plenty of time for that," he smirks placing his hands on her hips, "besides, someone might see us." He pretends like he doesn’t want her, but they both know better than that.

"That's never stopped you before," Nyx breathes in his ear as her lips leave a trail of wet kisses down his neck. Her voice is low and sultry, and to his ears it sounds like a craving.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you that I'm gay?" he whispers jokingly leaving goose bumps on her back as his voice tickles her neck.

Nyx sits up and pulls her shirt off. Her breasts jiggle free out of her bra, and her nipples harden instantly at the feel of the cool air inside the tent. She watches him bite his lip in rapture. Feeling his cock stir under her she retorts, "you were saying?"

That was enough for him for devour her lips with his own. In only moments the pair are in a naked embrace and almost one with the dirt, the only thing separating them from the soil is a thin sheet of parachute that was rather noisy. Also audible are soft moans and groans and wet kisses full of thirst.

Just like every time before, she begs him to fuck her, and he complies only when she pleads. Suddenly there is color. His cock drives deep inside her as if her pussy is pulling him in like an anchor. His skin is so brown against her pale chest. His teeth yank on the soft skin of her breasts, and his hand squeezes at her throat. The parachute is an ominous blue lit up by the flames. He feels her overflowing, and it is enough to drive him crazy for it had been months since he's felt anything but his own hand. In this very moment her pussy is heaven sent. Nate's eyes are brown, the color she takes her coffee. In seconds she is exploding, and Nate is right behind her directing his cum all over her porcelain chest.

He lies down next to her again, but this time he is savoring the coolness of the ground. He watches as she reaches with her fingers to scoop up her reward, licking every drop. It makes him shudder with desire, and he wishes he could get up and fuck her again because he could not imagine a sexier display. Well, unless it was his boyfriend, of course.

"It's good to have you back, Nyx," his words now dripping with drowsiness.

"You too, Nate, you too."

She lies next to him breathing heavily. Her eyes shut as the pair revel in their first moment of silence on the ground. She spends the time she waits for him to fall asleep envisioning all the moments she had spent with him on the Ark.

Nyx met Nathan only after she parted ways with Bellamy at 19 years old. Nate was only 16 at the time, but when she first fucked him she couldn’t have known. His face was always covered in heavy stubble, and his muscles were chiseled everywhere her eyes landed. He was messing around with a guy at the time but took a break batting for that team when he met her.

As far as friendship goes, Nate was good at it. He was her best those few years. He was also a great fuck, and it seemed like fucking was her only way to survive the heartbreak she endured. It's good to know the Skybox didn’t change him.

Nyx finally hears his breathing slow, and as if the tiny snores were her permission to leave she dresses herself quickly and pulls back the tent door. Though most of the field has been cleared, a few still linger around the dying fire that Bellamy is nursing.

"Well, if it isn’t the night nymph," Murphy mocks, but even he cant resist the thought as his eyes travel down every inch, and his dick pitches a tent as big as the one she just came out of. "I thought Miller was a pillow biter," he thinks his joke is clever.

"And I thought you were stupid and small," Nyx directs her gaze downwards to let him know she sees it, "but I guess we were both only half wrong."

Bellamy clears his throat behind Murphy, uncomfortable with every aspect of the conversation the pair are having.

"Looks like there is life on Earth," Murphy shouts to everyone still awake, "I just spotted a cougar."

"Fuck off," Nyx slaps the top of his head before she sits down next to the growing flames. She is only 21, and that was only three years older than most here. Anyway, she didn’t have much of a choice anymore.

"Octavia's not back?" she asks Bellamy. It sounds casual, but there is a worry tapping at a door in the back of her mind

He shakes his head side to side in response then says, "Murphy's not completely wrong, you know, it is our first day down here."

"What's your point?"

"You could have waited a little longer?"

"That didn't stop you."

"It doesn’t have to be this way, Nyx," for that moment there is a coat of regret on every syllable. His voice is beating to her heart like a bass drum keeping her alive. His eyes look right through her as if she is nothing, and now she wishes that she wasn’t the night crawler. She wishes that she could rewind. That she could never open that tent and stay in Miller's arms until the sun rose.

But why? That only brings emptiness. Everything brings emptiness. Except in those few minutes that she is filled, she is always empty. Her world is always black and white. Grey. Mute. Void. The only time she sees in color is his eyes - and when she's cumming. The only time she feels alive is from the burn of his skin on hers - just a touch of a fingertip is enough to defibrillate her. The sound of his breath as he slept is a song, and the sound of his voice - like a prophecy of love.

"Nyx," her name melts in his mouth. She listens to the hum of the crickets. She smells the smoke, the pine, and the dew of the grass before dawn. Nothing is dull in that moment. The green, orange, red, yellow, purple all spiral around her before she pulls herself out of the daydream.

"Goodnight, Bellamy," she says, and instantly the world is grey again.

She doesn’t know how long she's slept when she wakes, but as her eyes flutter open the grey of the drop ship swallows her vision, and she groans rubbing her cold, sore shoulder as she heaves herself off the steel floor.

Outside the air is hot, and the sun, which is past its peak, is burning down into the dark of her shirt. She peels it off and tucks a bit into her pocket letting half hang down against her leg as she walks toward a standing makeshift bucket, which she is surprised to find full of water.

"Drink," she watches Murphy fill a metal cup that she gladly takes from his hands. Her eyes do not fail to notice that his bracelet is missing as she sips. "Sorry about giving you a hard time last night," he says though his eyes are glued to her half bare torso, noticing the fingerprints Nathan left.

"Nyx!" Miller's voice calls out from behind. "Octavia's hurt."

She drops the cup into the bucket and jogs towards him, "where is she?" When he doesn’t speak she follows him to a tent, sitting outside of it a young girl with long hair and a wrapped leg.

"Octavia," the name escapes her mouth in a breath of worry.

Octavia's eyes dance through the people until they land on her and ignite. She is about to leap, but Nyx does not give her chance. She is there on the ground, her arms engulfing the little frame of the girl no longer under the floor but so, so free.

"How?" Octavia is surprised, "Bellamy?"

Nyx nods in affirmation as the name sends pulses of electricity down her bare spine.

"Well, looks like my brother isn’t a complete idiot," she smiles.

"What happened?" Nyx's hand grazes over the bandaging already tinged red.

"Something in the water, an eel, a shark, I don’t really know. I missed you." Octavia is less concerned with her wound and more with Nyx. She could not believe she's here. She missed her best friend - her sister.

Loud moans interrupt their reunion, and Nyx watches Clarke and Murphy carry a boy out of the woods. Bellamy and Finn are in tow, carrying something that looked heavy wrapped in a parachute.

"They found Jasper!" Octavia says in disbelief getting up to follow them into to the drop ship.

"What happened to him?" Nyx asks, bewildered that he survived with a wound that large in his chest.

"Grounders," Octavia utters in fear.

Nyx furrows her brows and looks at the girl, "you mean people? People living on Earth?" When Octavia's response is a nod, Nyx shoots out of the ship and toward Bellamy. He is skinning what looks like a large cat but stops when he hears her call his name.

"You can't walk around here like that, Nyx," he sighs as he grabs her shirt out of her pocket and throws it at her chest, "put it on."

"I thought it was whatever the hell we want," she mocks.

"Put it on, Nyx," his voice is threatening now.

"Or?" a wave of pleasure hits her as his eyes burn with rage.

Bellamy drops his knife and pulls her by the wrist into a nearby unoccupied tent. "This is not a fucking game, Nyx. You're surrounded by delinquents that have been locked alone in cells for who knows how long, and you're going to strut around half naked?" his voice is stern, and his grip is tight.

Nyx feels herself getting wet staring at his lips move. When he sees the lust glaze over her eyes he lets her arm go and shakes his head. She is knocked back into the grey void of reality. This is not a movie. The guy you're in love with doesn’t fuck you because you look good half naked here.

"You need to send out a scout," she tells him as she walks out of the tent, putting her shirt on when she realizes that he wont give into her.

"You're not going out there. It's too dangerous."

"Fine," Nyx grabs Murphy's arm as they walk by him and back to the cat, "send him with me."

Bellamy squints at her in disbelief, "I'd rather send you alone than with Murphy."

"I can't believe you," she lets a confused Murphy go before she starts shouting at Bellamy. "This isn't the fucking Ark, Blake. We're either going to share this ground or kill each other, and by the looks of that boy and your sister, I don’t think they're keen on the former. We need to know what we're up against," she argues.

"I know what we're up against," he yells in her face. "They use spears, swords, and poison. They hide in plain sight, using the trees to hunt, to kill. This is not an enemy you can scout," he warns her.

"I'm more useful out there than in here," she replies, unwilling to accept a no. She does not fear death.

"You're more useful alive. They took Octavia once; I wont let them take you. That's the end of this fucking conversation," he demands before he goes back to prepping the dead animal on the ground.

Moments later a fire through the atmosphere captures their attention as it falls to the Earth. Nyx walks away knowing Bellamy wouldn’t hear another word from her. She is frustrated that he treats her like a child. She is a fighter, a survivor. He had forced her to be when he destroyed her two years ago. Her life has become simply about survival. The rabbit hole of endless one-night stands is the only thing keeping her alive - they were the only way she knew how to feel, how to beat back the emptiness that threatened to swallow her alive.