The Graveyards We Leave Behind

"I think Eligius is our best way home," Raven says at breakfast. It's been five years. Five long years since Roan died. Five years since they took a chance on a ship and flew up into the strangely suffocating expanse of space. Five years since Nyx has felt more and more alone. They've been having this conversation of returning to Earth for a few weeks now, and the idea of it makes her stomach churn because she doesn't think she's ready to fly down and find Miller gone, to fly down and walk the same Earth that's swallowed everyone she loves whole.

"You really think there's no one on that ship?" Bellamy asks. His chestnut orbs linger on Raven, and maybe no one else can tell, but Nyx can see that he's struggling to hold back tears at the thought. She averts her eyes back to her bowl, but she can hear that his voice is hopeful. He can't wait to see his sister.

"If there was, we would have heard from them on way or another. The ship's probably been up here longer than we have, it just took it a while to pop up on my radar," Raven sounds excited about the possibility of landing on soil again too. For a spacewalker, she's more than eager to get back down to Earth.

"So what? We hop on, steal some fuel, and they won't know?" John asks over his empty bowl. His hand is settled comfortably on Nyx's thigh, and he leans against her body as she eats slowly. The blank look on his face displays a clear doubt of whether they'll be able to get back down, and only recently did he realize that he doesn't think he wants to.

"There's no one there to know, John," Emori ridicules with an eye roll as the spoon dropping from her hand makes a loud clanging sound against the empty bowl in the silent room.

"Watch your fucking tone," Nyx threatens. She is sick of sitting around watching Emori treat him like shit. He's only ever loved her, gave her the attention she desperately needed. Whatever happened between them made her sour, and Nyx can't stand the ungratefulness that oozes out with every word.

"Oh, you've got your own grounder queen protecting you now?" Emori sneers. The intent to hurt Nyx is evident in the reference to Roan. How low did she need to go to make herself feel better? Is she jealous? Does she know they've been sleeping together the past year?

"Woah, okay," Bellamy stands up in attempt to settle the mood. He watches the silence hang around Nyx in worry that she'll do something stupid. They've spent too much time together, and it's getting to all of them.

"That's unwarranted, Emori. What the fuck is wrong with you?" it is John that comes to her defense. He knows Nyx so well that it isn’t hard to see the pain bloating her eyes. Roan has not stopped being a sore spot. He never will. John suspects she loved him almost as much as Bellamy, and he doesn’t understand why Emori has to be such a bitch.

"Come on, Nyx," he stands up and pulls her with him. She follows like a pup. The anger inside of her is almost uncontrollable, and she is scared that she'd have done something stupid if John didn't intervene. She feels defeated now.

"Okay," Raven's frustration is evident. "I guess we'll talk about this later when everyone grows the fuck up," she adds before storming away herself.

Nyx listens to their own footsteps as they walk through the hall. The pitter patter is soothing her anger until all that's left is pain. Roan's eyes dig into her from the a corner of her mind, and Bellamy's eyes pity her from the other. She is sick of this dynamic. After wanting to stay up here for so long because it provided an easy death, she now finds herself unable to wait to get on the ground and far away from everyone.

"Nyx, Im sorry," John's voice is like a nurturing whisper as he closes the door behind them and envelopes her into a hug. "You gotta stop trying to stand up for me, babe. It only makes you more of a target," he sighs into her neck. He should've never fucked her. Emori knows, and she won't stop trying to make the rest of their days a living hell up here.

When she says nothing John pulls back to look her. The emptiness he works so hard to fight away has crept back, lingering on face. "Nyx," he calls in hopes of reaching her. "Don't let Emori get to you," he advises wearily.

"Fuck Emori," is all Nyx says before her lips are crashing onto John's.

He is surprised by the force with which she kisses him, but he can't help except to give in. Her hands on his skin are burning hot as she lifts his shirt up and grabs a hold of his waist. The way she makes him feel takes away the pain of Emori for a moment, and he surrenders to the passion as his hands yank her towards him aggressively. They are so close that he can feel her pain inside of him as she pulls on the jeans that sit around his hips desperately. John lets her go for only a moment to undress, and she wastes no time doing the same.

She jumps to wrap her legs around him, and his hands grab onto her thighs. She moans at the squeeze, feeling his fingertips digging into her skin. He carries her over to the bed, and quickly finds her soaking wet entrance before thrusting into her with as much need as she feels.

The moans that escape her lips are begging him to keep going. She wants to feel him as deep as he can go. She's hoping that he can push out all the pain inside of her.

John's arms are wrapped around her, pulling her so close to him that it is almost unimaginable. Her nails claw at his back pleading for more. The tickle of his heavy breaths on her ear is like music, and when he starts to nibble on her neck her legs begin to squeeze around him so tightly he almost can't move. Nyx thrusts up into him, wanting to be in control. He sees it and flips them over effortlessly, allowing her to ride him until the pain subsides.

Her hips jolt back and forth as fast as she can make them as she leans forward to look at her partner. John's arms are underneath hers as they reach up to grab her shoulders, pushing her down with so much force she is surprised the bed does not break.

"I've never seen anyone so beautiful," he words are breathless as he speaks them.

She doesn't fight the intimacy as she leans down to kiss him. Her thrusts have slowed as she slips her tongue between his lips. When his join in, she moans into his mouth. The kiss is wet, and sloppy, and feverish as his hands squeeze her breasts and move down to her hips. He moves them up and down for her, needing to feel her pussy squeezing around every inch of him. The pain has settled and all that is left is this burgeoning desire to cum.

Her rapid breaths are tickling him now as her face hides in the crook of his neck. She is too stunning to hide. He pushes her off, pinning her hands over her head. Positioning himself in between her legs he rubs his dick along her slit. A smile comes to his face as he watches her bite her lip and squirm beneath him.

"John," her voice is fiery. "John, please?" she begs with desperation in her eyes.

"Please what?" he leans down and whispers across her lips.

She can't help but to reach up and kiss him. "I need you, John," the words are muffled by her lips refusing to leave his.

"What do you need, baby?" he asks her feeling his dick twitch in anticipation.

Nyx is sure she has soaked the sheets now, because she can feel herself dripping from all the teasing. "Fuck me, John, please fuck me," the pleading is a whisper on his ears, but it is all he needs to push himself inside her.

A loud 'ohh' resonates inside the walls when she feels him hitting her spot.

"God, you're fucking gorgeous, Nyx," he is almost in disbelief as he watches her arch her back beneath him. Her nipples stand tall like towers and he leans down to bite on one, a smirk adorning his face when he hears her swear in pleasure. He knows she has finished because he can feel the grip her pussy has on him, and he can see the look of ecstasy on her face.

"Don’t stop," she tells him. Her breaths are heavy, and she bites her lip as she looks up at him under her lashes. She knows it drives him wild, and even though she's gotten her fix, she's not content until he's gotten his too. The grin on John's face widens. He complies with her request, fucking her so hard he can almost see the stars through the solid steel walls. When he feels that urge inside of him he pulls out, and with a firm stroke of his hand he erupts all over her chest.

Nyx grabs a tissue from the side table and cleans herself up as John falls limp to her side.

"God, I love you," he says to her as she turns to face him. His eyes fall to her chest which is wiped clean, but still glistening with the remnants of his cum, and he can feel the desire welling up inside him again.

Nyx grins at him, reaching to push his hair back out of his face. "How could you not?" she laughs with a dazzling grin.

The carefree moment is so quickly interrupted by a knock on the door. Murphy pulls his boxers on before going to open it as Nyx reaches to the ground to pick her clothes up. She doesn't who knows because it's no one's business.

Bellamy is standing at the now open door, and his breath hitches at the back of his throat at the sight of a naked Nyx reaching to pull her underwear on. He has suspected the two were having sex this whole time, but he told himself a few hickeys didn't mean it went that far. Her naked in Murphy's room squashes that doubt, and he feels himself get angry as he watches her dress.

"Do you need something," John moves to block Bellamy's view of the naked girl. He's annoyed by the interruption and at the way his eyes seem to outline the curves of Nyx's body from afar.

Bellamy looks up, making eye contact with John. His jaw clenches involuntarily, and he's wishing he was better at hiding his disdain. "We're gonna dock with the Eligius. I need you both in your seats in five minutes," Bellamy's voice is demanding before he turns to leave.

"I think we made your boyfriend jealous," Murphy smirks as he turns around to see Nyx pulling her shirt over her head.

She rolls her eyes. She's watching John get dressed now as she waits. "We both know he's only mad because he'd prefer that I was still crying over him like a pathetic little girl," she says bitterly. Her arms are crossed in front of her chest as she follows a smirking John out of the room.

The silence that falls between them redirects Murphy's attention to Bellamy's words. "Do you think it's safe down there?" he asks her as they walk towards the cock pit.

"There's only one way to find out," she replies leading them to their seats. When they walk in, Raven and Emori are hastily hitting buttons preparing for a launch. Nyx sits down and buckles herself up, ignoring the look Bellamy is giving her from the chair behind.

"Everyone ready?" Raven's voice calls from the front. When she hears the confirmation from everyone else she counts down, and it only a minute of soaring after the burst of fuel that they dock with the Eligius IV ship.

There is a simultaneous unbuckling of seatbelts that fills the air as Raven opens the doors and alarms begin to belch out on the prisoner ship. Murphy smirks at the first sight of panic on Emori's face, realizing that his question earlier about if anyone would know was a completely valid one. The engineer scrambles to disarm them from the main computer as Emori watches, and when she is successful a sigh of relief escapes her lips.

"Let's start siphoning," Monty calls out, heading to the engine room with a group in tow.

Nyx drags behind watching Bellamy take small slow steps. Her brows furrow when she sees him make a turn to explore instead of helping the others, and she scoffs before deciding to follow him

"Where do you think you're going?" she calls behind him.

Nyx watches as the startled man turns to face her. He purses his lips after realizing it's only her before saying, "there's five of them. I think they can handle getting the fuel without me."

Nyx nods wearily deciding to follow him through the ship. They mostly walk in silence until she hears what sounds like footsteps echo through the hall. She keeps herself from panicking as she weighs their options, and when she reaches out to grab Bellamy's arm he freezes in surprise.

"What are you doing?" he asks with furrowed brows, uncomfortable by the way the heat of her hand on his skin makes him feel.

Nyx doesn't say anything but places a hand on her lips, wanting him to be quiet. He is about to protest when suddenly his eyes widen upon hearing the same sound draw closer. "Someone's here?" he whispers. He's concerned. They don't know anything about this ship or who it belongs to. In hindsight, this was a bad idea.

"Get behind me," she whispers back demandingly, reaching for the dagger strapped to her thigh.

"Are you kidding me? I'm not gonna hide behind you," Bellamy sniggers, refusing to listen.

Nyx is about to respond but has no time when she spots a large man charging down the hallway. It all happens so fast that she has no time to react, and now Bellamy is pinned to the ground and being choked by the strangers hands.

Nyx grabs the man around his neck, putting him in his own chokehold. "Let him go," her voice is menacing as it boom through the hallway. The man complies standing up with his hands in the air. "I'm gonna let you go, and you're gonna keep your hands to yourself. Got it?" she asks. When he gives her a half-assed nod she peels her arm away from his neck.

"Who are you?" she asks. He gives her no answer, instead he launches himself at her only to land on the knife in her hand. She yanks it out of his belly and slits his throat, watching the body fall to the ground.

Nyx turns her attention to Bellamy. "Are you okay?" she asks him. He gives her a sheepish nod, but she can see the red along his throat. "Next time I say stay behind me are you gonna listen?" she asks with a smirk on her face. Bellamy purses his lips and looks away. When Nyx chuckles he rolls his eyes. "Come on, lets find out if there's more where that came from," she says jogging down the hallway.

When Nyx reaches an open door emitting a bright light she stops in her tracks. Hundreds of pods line the walls in the room, and he can feel her heart beating out of her chest.

"What is it?" Bellamy asks walking up behind her.

"Oh my God," she manages to choke out reaching to grab Bellamy's hand in fear.

Bellamy looks over at the girl, the terror on her face evident. He squeezes her hand in attempt to comfort her before saying, "Nyx, it's ok. They're asleep."

"Well then let's go before they wake up," she tugs on his hand trying to lead him away. There's too many of them.

"No," he squeezes tighter. "They're in cryogenic chambers. They're not waking up anytime soon." When she doesn’t say anything he places his hands on her shoulders, giving them a squeeze. "I promise, Nyx, we're okay," he tells her again.

She nods. She is still weary, but she lets herself walk in to examine the bodies. When she is satisfied that they're completely asleep she allows herself to breath.

"We could use this," she is surprised when Bellamy's voice finds her ears. She has almost forgotten that they came here together.

"What you mean?" she asks in confusion.

"We've gotta go tell Raven," Bellamy grabs her hand, and they walk together back towards the computer room. He can tell Nyx is still unsettled by the idea of hundreds of people on the ship, but she seems to have calmed a little.

"Thank God! Where the fuck have you two been, we've been waiting for ten minutes now," Echo calls out, not failing to notice that the pair are hand in hand.

"The prisoners are all in cryogenic chambers. One of them woke up and tried to attack us," Bellamy states earning a surprised look from the woman.

Nyx glances toward John, who is concerned by the statement, and she gives him a weak smile, mouthing, 'I'm fine.'

"Is there a way to kill them remotely?" Bellamy asks, and she turns her attention back to him.

Raven's brows furrow, "no, but I can stay here. Emori knows how to fly the ship."

Emori protests, but Raven reassures her she'll do fine. They've been practicing for five years after all. "Besides there's a captain's escape pod if anything happens. I'll be fine," she smiles, guiding them back onto the ship.

"I'm gonna stay too," John's voice breaks through Nyx's daydream, and she lets go of the hand she didn't realize she was still holding.

"John, you can't," she says. How is she supposed to make it without him? If she keeps losing people she's going to lose herself.

"Like Raven said, there's an escape pod. We can't leave her up here alone with 300 prisoners," he argues. He has seen her hold Bellamy's hand, and he's convinced they are so close to being together that if he stayed with them he would only interfere. Besides, he's not ready to go back down.

"I love you," Nyx tells him with a nod and a gulp. She's scared.

"I love you too," John kisses her check and turns to walk back onto the Eligius. Nyx watches him walk away, wondering if Monty will be able to whip up some moonshine on the ground again.