When in Doubt

A strange happiness washed over her as the wind blew through her hair, arms holding tightly to his waist. Her heart beat fast, hard, in her chest. Logan suggested they take the jeep at first, but Jean refused and pointed out that she wanted to ride on his motorcycle.

Even if hugging him from behind to stay seated seemed a bit intimate (who was she kidding? Even if she slipped off, she’d use her telekinesis to get back on the bike and stay on it), but she wanted to feel the wind through her hair and the sensation of flying (without using her powers for once). She wanted to escape from her thoughts, but more than anything, she wanted to clear her head and take some time away from Scott (God knows the man’s really passionate and loving, but he’s also like a puppy that follows you everywhere). She wanted to turn into a bird and fly away (if only she could swap powers with Mystique right now).

Logan felt himself smirking a bit. For once he felt like he won something, he won Jean fair and square. But of course, if he really won Jean fair and square, Jean would have talked it out with Scott, and then she and Logan would have talked things over… and…

Too many scenarios flooded into his brain, some were of Jean choosing Scott and going on to marrying him as they had been planning for the past six months (according to Jean, it was Scott who had been planning out their entire future--that boy sure was a romantic--even if he tried denying it in front of everyone else). Others were of Wolverine and Jean just simply running off together (Kind of like they are now) and just starting a new life--perhaps in the Mountains, in a log cabin--wait, would living that kind of life suit Jean, let alone him? Would it be worth it living a similar life he led with Silver Fox once upon a time?

Sensing some sort of doubt in Wolverine’s mind and hearing a soft, barely audible growl coming from him, Jean pressed herself into him, as if trying to ease his mind or in the least… it was a silent inquiry, a question, her actions silently asking him if anything was wrong. She felt his entire body tense, the muscles in his back tightening. Sure she’s been holding onto him the entire time, and there really wasn’t that much room on the motorcycle seat, to begin with, but it felt a bit… intimate. Of course, it was. Even Jean herself blushed a bit at her own actions, but she ignored it.

“Something wrong?” Her soft voice asked. He was thankful she didn’t read his mind. If she had, he would’ve felt it. When Jean read his mind in the past, it always felt like a gentle push, a soft touch, one that asked permission to see into his mind, and when needed, into his memories--those forbidden areas that were often blocked, even from him.

And boy did he often stay awake late at night, wondering how the hell he had erased--no suppressed his own memories? But whenever he tried reaching for the answer within himself, something within would push him out. Perhaps there was another him that was trying to protect him or that other him wanted him to purposefully forget. He didn’t know, although he did want to know (it’s one of the reasons he came to the Institute in the first place).

Wolverine just grunted in response, forcing himself to smile, his body relaxing as he felt her touch.

“Everything’s fine, Red. Just feelin’ a bit excited about seein’ this movie marathon of your’s.” He said cheerfully. Well, it was a half-truth. While he didn’t really like romantic movies that Jean liked, he could always sit through a movie or two if it meant being able to spend some time with Jean. He was just glad Jean was giving him a chance to spend time with her, to show her how he saw the world.

He felt her arms loosen a bit, a sign that she had accepted his answer and smiled. If the issue came up again, he’d be sure to tell her his doubts in full. But for now, this trip was all about Jean and only Jean (Okay, it was about him, too, but he was the one taking her out and sharing one of her favorite pastimes with her).

Wolverine gripped the handlebars of the motorbike as they come to a stop at a traffic light. It only took a few minutes for the light to change from red to yellow then finally to the bright green light that signaled they could finally move again. It was during those few moments of waiting, Wolverine couldn’t help glancing at a nearby sidewalk, his blue gaze catching sight of a couple, one that reminded him of Jean and Scott. Of course, any cutesy lovey-dovey perfect looking couple would remind him of them.

He forced the thought out of his mind at feeling Jean’s arms tightening around his waist. They then moved the second the light turned green and rounded the corner, heading to their destination.

---
He had to admit the movie was kind of captivating. Especially that romantic mystery, Spellbound, the mystery bit was gripping even though the romance was a bit cheesy (Jean did warn him that these movies were on the cheesy side), but Jean was absolutely captivated by them. She had simply switched off her brain--her telepathy (was that even possible?). All of her attention was focused on the movie, soaking in every dialogue, every emotion, and all the cheesiness contained within. And while she was focused on the movie, Logan found himself gauging her every reaction, how her eyes lit up when the main characters learned something startling or gasp when something a bit scary happened. Wolverine loved all of these reactions coming from the woman sitting beside him.

This was the Jean he loved best. The Jean that wasn’t afraid to relax and let herself feel emotions that didn’t come from being flattered and admired by Scott or any other man that had tried to win her heart before (of course, Logan tried winning her over, too, but not with the usual, “You’re beautiful and smart, we would be perfect together!” shtick. He was always honest and not always trying to impress her--this always brought up another question to him and Logan was sure he wasn’t the only one who questioned it. Why did Scott always feel like he had to be the best at everything and impress everyone?).

Once the movie marathon was over (it was only about four hours really with maybe a ten-minute cartoon short--Bugs Bunny was still popular it seems), Logan followed Jean out of the dark theater and out into the open air. The bright light didn’t hurt him, but it did make him squint a little as his eyes adjusted back to the brightness of daytime. And with it he saw Jean stretching her arms as if waking up from a nap. A smile was on her face as she finally turned back around to face him.

Her blue eyes glittered with joy as she smiled at him. “ That was a good movie. Thank you for bringing me here, Logan.” Jean said softly, her gaze softening as they stepped closer to each other.

That charming smirk of Logan’s return, but it turned into that rare soft smile as he took her hand in his. “Anytime you wanna go see a movie, I’ll take ya, Red. So don’t be thankin’ me.” He teased.

Jean giggled softly but she gave his hand a soft squeeze. “Next time we go, I’ll let you choose the movie.”

“You got yourself a deal, Jeannie.” her heart thumped hard at hearing Logan calling her by that nickname. When was the last time she felt this kind of thrill, the last time she felt… happy? She could only vaguely remember being super happy when she and Scott shared their first kiss, but that was years ago. Just when did things change? Was it when Logan entered the picture? No, of course not. It had to be sometime when she was possessed by the Phoenix. The fiery space bird had been lonely being up in space all the time but once she and Phoenix became one, Jean felt a longing for freedom she never thought she had prior to their merging. The Phoenix had fed on all of that and she allowed it. That had to be it…

Seeing the slight frown forming on her lips, Logan brought his free hand to the side of her face, his thumb gently grazing her cheek. “Jean?” He started.

Her attention focused back on him and Jean allowed herself to smile once more. “Sorry, I guess i spaced out.” She said softly.

Logan chuckled with a smile. “You’ve been doing that a lot lately, somethin’ on your mind?”

Her face lit up with surprise only to go red with a faint blush. She was definitely having some sort of inner battle. A struggle of sorts.

Logan felt like he knew what she was thinking of. There was only one person… Scott.

“It’s about Scott, isn’t it?” His question made her jump a bit.

Jean pulled away from Logan, shaking her head. “No, of course not. I-I love him. Always have.” She mumbled as if not to convince Logan, but herself.

He raised an eyebrow at this. “If you loved him then how come you aren't planning out your wedding with him?” Logan asked.

Another shock spread through her body. Jean shivered, her blush deepening, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “I-I don’t know. I didn’t accept his proposal.”

This wasn’t too surprising to Logan. After all, Scott was always all about pleasing Jean to please himself. The man sort of had an arrogant streak in that way.

“Right, and you chose to go on a date with me instead,” Logan said half teasingly.

Jean didn’t recoil when his hand touched gently behind her shoulder blades.

“Jeannie.” came his soft voice.

She remained silent, trying to look for the answer inside of herself. It felt just like when she was possessed by Phoenix. Back when Jean decided to let the Phoenix decide everything for her, as long as it meant she was free.

When she didn’t answer, Logan spoke again.

“Jeannie, look at me.” the soft tone of his voice finally reached her ears and she allowed herself to look into his eyes.

“I fell out of love with him,” She whispered, “and fell in love with you instead.”

“What?” Logan felt his heart jump and as much as he wanted to smile and let the joy take control, he kept himself in check.

“Logan,” Jean started almost in tears now, “Didn’t you hear me? I sai-!”

A finger touched her lips, cutting her off as he smirked.

“I heard you, Jean, and while I want to return your feelings--Hell, I’m more than happy to hear you saying this--I want you to have a long talk with Summer so you two can find out where you both stand with each other. Then I can return your feelings.” Logan said softly. “It ain’t right to just steal you away from Scott without things being resolved between the both of you.”

But Logan’s hands on her face reaffirmed that he did indeed felt the same as she did about him. Always had. As she looked into his eyes, Jean allowed herself to smile and nodded.

“You’re right. It wouldn’t be fair to Scott, or you.” She whispered. With this said, their lips met in a soft kiss, but it sent shivers down Logan’s body (and here he thought he was past this mushy emotions) and Jean’s heart thump hard in her chest. Despite the briefness of the kiss, Jean couldn’t help feeling happy with her realization, allowing Wolverine to guide her back to his motorcycle where they sped off, taking the longer scenic route back to the mansion.

She wanted to relish in this revelation just a bit longer and it seemed Logan wanted to as well.

Feeling her arms around his waist once more, Logan smiled and allowed himself to relax and almost lean into her embrace as the wind blew by them once more. Part of him felt a bit guilty but at the same time, he felt at peace, happy even. And he was almost damn sure this time spent from Jean meant Scott was doing a little self-reflection.