Taste

After saying goodbye to Arden at my bedroom window, I almost jumped out of my skin when my mobile pinged. It was set to a tune I hadn't heard in a while – Facebook Messenger, I think.

I dug it out my back pocket and scanned the text.

We need to talk. Please.

I threw the phone on the bed as I hooked up my jacket. Talking to Matt was not on my list of plans for today. In fact, I'd much rather prefer never speaking to him again, save me from seeing his face.

That was the stupid thing, too. He was his own person, he could fuck whoever he wanted, I had no authority over his life. He wasn't something any of us could own.

But then, why did I feel so betrayed?

I mean, is there something wrong with me? He was just a guy. A potential friend. Who'd stabbed me in the back and dug it in deep.

Shit.

So, instead I stood by the staircase top, listening in as my sister chatted to a client on the phone. They were roundabout all she spoke to these days. Friends weren't exactly a luxury we were accustomed to.

I mean, Tam does have friends, but they mainly come from out of town. Nothing tied her back to this place except for me and, of course, Zach.

I couldn't her everything she was saying, and I thought that maybe I'd have blown my cover when the doorbell rang frantically. And, because of the time, I sprinted down those stairs before my sister could order me to.

I didn't use the spyglass; a dumb mistake on my part.

Because there stood Holly Oates, wearing all denim and looking like the dark beauty that she was. The material clung to her curves, her flesh only just peeking out from under her canary yellow top. She sported a striped hat on her head.

"Hey, Emmy. I figured it's best you and I had a little chat of our own."

I hadn't expected the boil of emotions that pulsated within me. Each one of them dark, hungry and writhing for a tussle. I knew better than to give in to them.

I mean, if I wasn't talking to Matt, whatever made her think she was the answer?

"Well, aren't you going to invite me inside?" She cocked her head, nose piercing glittering in the dim light. "Oh wait, I'm not a vampire."

Strutting past me, she gave my sister a quick glance before she headed for the kitchen. For a moment, I was unable to move, still struck by the sheer thought of her arriving on my doorstep. But when I heard her rummaging around, I ambled my way over.

She was pouring herself a glass of water, and arched a brow at me.

I crossed my arms.

"This is cosy. A little more cramped than what I'm used to, but it's not the worst."

"What do you want, Holly?"

She sipped her drink, as I advanced. This was the most I'd ever chatted to her, despite her being my Vampire History for the past however many years. She usually chatted to people that were looking for friends... people that weren't me.

Therefore, this was new to me. Folks dropping by my house without warning. Frankly, I didn't like it.

"I think you got the wrong idea of what happened Friday night."

I rolled my eyes. "I don't think so. I saw it in full detail."

"Well, duh, but that's not what I'm getting at. At parties, all of them, Matt has a tendency to go overboard with the alcohol, like you are expected to. We chat, we get sentimental and then things just tend to... occur. It's only ever when we're drunk, it doesn't mean anything."

So, what she means is: when she and Matt get too inebriated they find each other during the night and release their tensions that surfaced sometime through the party?

Great. Now I know they have sex casually and frequently. It's just perfect.

I scuffed my shoe along the floor, hearing my sister say her goodbyes to whoever was on the phone. No doubt she'd come here to try and see who my "new friend" is, as she'd so bluntly put it.

I opened my mouth to say thanks for coming, in the hope of getting her to leave quicker, but she beat me to the punch.

"And it especially didn't mean anymore than a drunken daze on Friday, because Matt has a soft spot for you."

I met her eyes. They were steady, holding mine with a sort of conviction I'd only ever seen in my reflection before it. They were solid and unblinking, it was a fight to break the hold.

"He couldn't possibly–"

"Believe me, you can both deny it as much as you want, but I know my best friend."

I swallowed, about to comment again, when she dunked the rest of her water down the sink and began to make haste for the door.

I was inches from closing it behind her, when she whipped back around, small smile on her glossy lips.

"I don't know you, and I don't know if you ever want me to... but I'm not an idiot. I know when interests are made, and you clearly like him too, even if just platonically. Don't let our mistake stop you from making a great friend."

She blew me a quick kiss and sashayed away just as fast to her car. A gold make, I couldn't distinguish what, but my only guess was it's expensive.

Closing the door slowly, a million thoughts attacked and plagued my mind.

I know it was stupid and selfish to think about myself when women all across the country were being made into cadavers... but I knew immediately what I wanted.

Tam looked like she wanted to talk to me, but I shook my head and headed back upstairs, locking myself inside my room soon as.

I approached the bed, the blank black screen of my phone staring emptily back at me.

Without take the time to mull over it more, I picked it up and responded to Matt's message.

Sure. Monday, at lunch.

***

Monday morning started like every other. I had registration, then my next two classes buzzed in like a good dream, that became interval and soon, I was breezing through classes once again.

So, here we were. The time had come.

Upon entering the busy cafeteria, there was one single unoccupied table. Left for just me, as usual. Of course, I took it, and immediately began looking around.

As I did, there was a thump. Big. Almighty. Ready to speak to me face-to-face.

Through my haze of hair, I connected with the most fragile glass eyes I had ever seen. Their mixed hues of brown and lime wanted me to believe they were green, but I never saw vibrant colour. Everything was dulled and muted just for me.

He didn't look like he'd showered, or shaved, and possibly was dressed in Friday's uniform. The shirt wasn't pressed and had visible underarm stains.

Jeez, if it had that much effect on him, then I'd hate to find out how he'd react if he'd done it to a girlfriend...

"Emmy, I wish you'd give me a chance to–"

"Forget it. Holly explained everything."

His eyes widened. Would you like to drop your mouth too, while you're at it?

"Wow, okay. I don't know exactly what else to say." Head lowering so he could see my face, I dropped my gaze. "Should I continue?"

I was full aware that we had garnered an audience. Whispers detailing their assumptions on what was happening, I wanted to get out of my seat and slap each one of my classmates. Did they have nothing of interest in their own pathetic lives?

Ugh, people, honestly.

If Matt noticed them, he didn't comment, he was waiting on me only. As if I was the only important matter to him right now.

Which was laughable. Although I, of course, did no such thing.

"So, am I to expect walking in on you and Holly going at it frequently? While I'm supposed to be the person you brought along for company." It wasn't a question, I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be, either.

He shook his head, fingers tapping the plastic table.

"No, you're the only person I want to be around, as stupid and manipulative as that sounds."

I swallowed. What did that mean for us?

Fuck, I'm thinking too much about this. There were only two possibilities here, after all.

One: he's toying with me. This is all a game to him and I'm part of some end-of-year prank. His goal is to get under my skin, make me feel like I matter and then humiliate and break me in front of everyone. I would become less than invisible; I'd be fuel for every joke and gossip talk.

Or two: he was being genuine. Living up to his reputation of good guy and showing me that it was possible to have people who cared. People who didn't aim to hurt or anger me. Who embraced me.

I just didn't know which agenda he had planned.

"I don't want to sound like a jealous bitch – because I'm so not, you're free to sleep with whoever you wish – I just wish I didn't have to see it."

Then, we were looking straight at each other again. Something about him, about this whole situation, it was nothing less than tragic. It shouldn't have had to happen, but it did, and we can't take it back.

"So," I began, tucking my legs back behind its legs, pulling myself in closer to the table. "If you have an itch that needs to be scratched, I would rather you be truthful than just leave and expect me not to come across the grotesque sight."

He blinked, fast. He had caught onto the one word I hadn't meant to say.

"Grotesque. I repulse you that much, huh?" Licking his bottom lip vehemently, I internally wished I was the one under that pink tongue. "Maybe the sight of me naked is disgusting to you, but I'm apologising when I know that I did nothing wrong. You're the one with the problem."

I have to admit, hearing Matt say those words hurt worse than a bullet to the chest. It's like I was constantly being injured again and again, all for his sick amusement. Yeah, perhaps I should have kept my mouth shut, and I had a tendency to ruin almost everything beautiful in my life, but validating to me how undeserving I was wasn't a great feeling.

In fact, I was furious. And, for once, I didn't care about the eyes focusing on us.

"Yeah, well, you wanted to associate with this 'problem'. If you hate me that much, why don't you fuck off!?"

To say he was dumbfounded was an understatement. The raw shock and mortification on his face was unmistakable. My words weren't pretty, and maybe were a little unjustified... but they weren't lies. He was the one chasing after me, I owed him nothing.

Standing up, it looked like he was about to input more, but decided to call it quits halfway through and walked away.

Watching his retreating figure, it dawned on me that I truly was alone. I got what I wished for, so why did I want to crawl up and cry myself to sleep?

Packing up my stuff, I picked up on the click of stilettos coming my way. I didn't have to look up to distinguish who it was.

"I was rooting for you. Not him, you. Then you just became ... well, you. Well done, Emmy. You really want no friends the rest of your pathetic life? Congratulations, you succeeded."

Sneering at me while scrunching up her nose, Holly trotted off. No doubt she would demand a new partner now in Vampire History class.

But the kicker was... she wasn't wrong.

I certainly succeeded in pushing away the one person who tried to be my friend. The only one I wanted in return.