If It Gave Us Time

Quietly readjusting the blanket which sat over her knees, Isla lazily turned the page of the book that she was reading, her eyes vaguely scanning the text before they drifted off, staring into space. It had been a little while, after her mother and father had arrived to collect Jacob and Arthur, a few hours had passed, but still Isla couldn’t quite stop her mind from whirring, more than a little surprised by the feeling that had arisen in her stomach when she had admitted that the prospect of her and Gerard having a baby was one which had crossed her mind. She couldn’t deny that she had thought about it, with things going as well as they were between them, her mind had drifted ahead a handful of times, but that in itself surprised her. It wasn’t something that had really happened with her previous boyfriends and it amazed her how quickly, and how easily, it had happened with Gerard.

“Good book?”

Isla blinked in surprise at the sound of Gerard’s voice before she looked up, glancing at where he stood in the doorway. “Huh?” she spluttered.

“Your book” Gerard quipped, gesturing to the book that she held in her hands “It must be good if it’s got you sat down here instead of upstairs cuddling with me” he added, a half-smile on his face.

Isla shook her head, a faint smile on her lips. “I’ve not really been reading it” she admitted.

“No?” Gerard asked as he moved to sit next to her feet “I figured you must be busy if you weren’t coming to bed. Everything OK?” he asked, his voice caught between teasing and concerned.

It hadn’t escaped him that she had been quiet, after her parents had left with her nephews, he’d noticed that she’d looked slightly pensive, but he had dismissed it quickly, assuming that it was something to do with her parents. They were on good terms, after Isla had made the move to live with him, the little fractures of their relationship seemed to have repaired themselves, but there were still occasions where her parents, Eva in particular, played on her nerves, and he had made the assumption that that afternoon had been one of the occasions.

Isla watched him sit down, allowing a few beats of silence to pass between them, before she loosely shrugged, an uncertain smile on her face. “It’s just something I said to my mama earlier” she mused “It got me thinking is all. It’s nothing for you to be worried about” she insisted as she lifted a hand, nervously tucking her hair back off of her face.

Gerard tilted his head as he watched her for a few seconds before he leant over, carefully pushing her hair behind her ear. “You know that you can talk to me, right?” he asked, smiling slightly as he leant back, coaxing her feet into his lap.

Isla couldn’t help but smile back, nodding her head gently. “I do know that” she confirmed “I just...I don’t know, I don’t want to freak you out or upset you” she added.

“You’d do that more by not saying anything” Gerard quipped.

Isla glanced at him, her eyes meeting his for a split second, before she shook her head, smiling embarrassedly to herself. “I told my mother that I could see myself having children with you” she admitted quietly “And I surprised myself with that. I mean, I’ve had serious boyfriends before, and I don’t think I ever felt comfortable even thinking something like that, let alone saying it aloud, but I did...I do with you and that...it just got me thinking about how serious all this has gotten, and how quickly it’s happened, and...” she trailed off as she spared another look up at Gerard, not missing the wide-eyed look her wore.

Studying his face, she felt her cheeks warm, before she shook her head, diverting her stare down towards her hands which messed aimlessly with the book she held onto. “See?” she quipped “I shouldn’t have said anything” she added.

Gerard was quiet for a few seconds, trying to wrap his head around what she’d said, before he shook his head. “I think I am entitled to a few seconds to get my head around the idea of you thinking about our future children, no?” he asked, his voice only half teasing.

Isla smiled halfheartedly, something which caused Gerard to shift this hand, settling it gently on her thigh before he offered it a soft squeeze. “Things are going well” Isla noted after a few seconds of silence “Really well, and I just...I don’t know, I got a little overwhelmed. We’ve been together for what? Six months? And the idea that I’d even thought about that, let alone admitted it to my mother, surprised me. It’s not very me” she added, her words careful and considered.

Gerard smirked, a joke passing through his mind, but he opted against making it, instead opting to carefully brush his hand up and down her thigh gently. “It’s Ok to be scared, you know” he murmured.

“Really?” Isla prodded, slightly surprised by his response.

Gerard didn’t hesitate in nodding. “You think I’ve never freaked out about this?” he asked “I mean, I’ve...uh...I’ve had similar thoughts about our future, about babies and proposals, and they scare me, but they’re also pretty exciting, no?” he added.

The corner of Isla’s mouth twitched up into a sheepish smile. “Maybe a little” she conceded.

Gerard smiled back at her. “You’re right” he mused “Things seem to have happened quickly, and when you really thinking about it, it’s quite daunting, but there’s no denying that it’s been good, no? I mean, we’ve come a pretty long way from you storming out of the coffee shop, hoping to never see me again, and we’ve still got a way to go. There’s all sort of things to be excited about” he added.

“You’ve thought about kids?” Isla asked.

Gerard shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “Maybe a couple of times” he quipped.

Isla rolled her eyes. “Gerard” she prodded.

“It’s crossed my mind” Gerard replied softly “I think I’d like a couple eventually” he added.

“A couple?” Isla asked, her eyes soft and curious.

Gerard nodded. “One of each, ideally” he replied “But I’d be happy either way, just as long as mum and babies were happy and healthy” he added, flashing her a small smile.

Isla felt her cheeks warm as she admired his smile before she shook her head, smiling gently to herself. “A couple sounds good to me” she murmured just about loud enough for him to hear.

Gerard blinked a couple of times, not quite sure that he’d heard her right, before he shifted his hand up her leg a little more, reaching for her hand which still messed with her book. Twining their fingers together, he offered her hand a light squeeze, something which caused her to look up at him, blushing still. “We should wait, though” he announced “I mean, yeah, babies are great and cute, but you know what? I kind of like it being just the two of us for now. We’ve got years to make up for” he added enthusiastically.

Isla grinned at him. “I like the way you think” she mused.

Gerard pulled her hand against his lips, allowing him to press a soft kiss against her warm skin. “Come on” he mumbled “You can ignore your book upstairs. I’m so ready for cuddling” he announced as he stood up, tugging her up alongside.

Isla giggled, following his movements, before she slipped her arms around him, offering him a brief hug before she stepped out of the room, Gerard following close behind her.