If It Gave Us Time

07: I Want You To Keep That In Mind

Sipping on the mug of tea that sat in her hands, Isla got herself slightly more comfortable, settling her back against the headboard of her bed as she pulled her laptop into her lap. It was still early, despite it being a Sunday morning, Isla had found herself awake a little earlier than usual, but with nothing planned for the day until she was due to visit her parents later that afternoon, she had opted to spend the morning in her bedroom, catching up on some television that she’d not had time for during the week.

Making sure that she was comfortable, she took another sip of her drink before she moved to press play on the computer, only to stop herself as the sound of the front doorbell reached her ears. Letting out a sigh, she waited for a few seconds, hoping that Luna would get up and answer it, before the doorbell rang again, something which caused her to let out another huff. Tossing her duvet off, she moved to place her mug of tea down onto her nightstand before she shuffled out of her bedroom, padding towards the front door. Reaching her hand up, she pushed her messy blonde hair back off of her face before she pulled the door open, her blue eyes widening a fraction as they settled on Gerard who stood on the other side, a nervous smile stretched across his face. “Gerard” she breathed softly.

Gerard shifted sheepishly on the spot for a second before he lifted his head, offering her another uncertain smile. “Your pajamas are cute” he quipped, his voice caught between playful and uncertain.

Isla’s cheeks flushed before she shook her head, gently folding her arms over her chest. “What are you...?” she trailed off, her eyes fixed on her feet.

Gerard admired her for a second, marveling at the soft hint of pink which had been quick to spread over her cheeks, before he shook his head, shifting his feet a little more. “I know that it’s not gone well the first two times” he mused “And honestly, if you want to slam the door in my face, I’d understand, but I was...uh...I was hoping that you’d not be busy. I was hoping we could have breakfast” he added, offering her a hopeful look.

Isla, who was still staring down at her feet, fought the urge to smile at the way he’d stumbled over his words, knowing that it wasn’t something which happened to him often, before she looked up, her blue eyes mirroring his. “You really want to try this again?” she asked.

Gerard smirked. “I tend to grow on people” he teased.

Isla rolled her eyes, but couldn’t keep the smile off of her face, something which Gerard noticed, but didn’t comment on. “Please?” he pressed “I want to talk about what happened. I want to...to try and explain it to you” he added, his voice softening a little.

Isla blinked a couple of times, surprised by his words, before she reached a hand up, shyly pushing a few wayward hairs off of her face. “Really?” she asked quietly.

Gerard nodded. “Really” he confirmed gently.

Isla looked up at him, her blue eyes searching his face for a few seconds, before she slowly nodded her head. “OK” she mused gently.

Gerard blinked, slightly surprised that she’d agreed, before he quirked a small smile. “Ok” he mimicked “We should...”

“You should give me a few minutes” Isla interrupted with a small laugh as she spared a look down at herself.

Gerard followed her stare, his cheeks bashfully turning pink, before he nodded his head, something which made Isla smile gently before she stepped out of the doorway, wordlessly inviting him inside before she made her way back towards her bedroom.

Gerard shuffled into the apartment, gently knocking the front door closed behind him, before he stuffed his hands into his pockets, trying in vain to shift the knot which twisted in the pit of his stomach.

“You sure that you don’t want anything else to eat?” Gerard asked as he settled his cutlery down onto his plate, his blue eyes peeking towards Isla who sat opposite him, quietly sipping on the mug of tea that she had ordered for herself. It had been quiet, much like the other time they’d been out, neither one of them had said very much, but Gerard knew that he wasn’t going to get away with it for much longer, even if Isla hadn’t said anything. He knew that it would only be a matter of time before she reminded him why she had gone out with him that morning.

Isla smiled over the rim of her mug, like an amusing thought had crossed her mind, before she gently shook her head. “I’m alright” she mused.

“Certain?” Gerard prodded with a half-smile.

Isla rolled her eyes gently. “You’re an idiot” she murmured, her blue eyes sparkling playfully.

Gerard flashed her an impish grin, but didn’t comment, allowing a couple of beats of silence to pass between them before he shook his head, pushing a hand back through his dark hair. “I was a kid” he mumbled softly.

Isla frowned. “What?” she pressed.

“I want you to remember that” Gerard clarified “When I tell you why...why things between us changed, I want you to remember that I was a teenager, and that I am idiot, Ok? I mean, you’ve told me a thousand times that I am an idiot, but I want you to keep that in mind, Ok?” he pressed, his blue eyes mirroring hers.

Isla furrowed her forehead, but nodded, something which Gerard mimicked, nodding his head slowly before he let out a slightly nervous laugh. “It’s really stupid” he mumbled “I mean, the more I think about it, the more I think it’s just...”

“Just tell me” Isla interrupted softly, offering him a small smile.

Gerard admired the smile on her face for a second, noting just how much he’d missed seeing it, before he let out another soft laugh, shaking his head to himself. “I kind of thought that something was going to happen between us” he admitted quietly “I mean, before I went, before I knew I was going, we seemed to be...getting closer and I thought...I thought that maybe that we were going to...” he trailed off for a second, his blue eyes searching Isla’s before he dropped his stare fixing it on the table.

“I thought you liked me” he clarified after a few seconds of quiet “And then I heard that you’d started to see somebody else, and I didn’t hear that from you. I heard it from my mother” he added, messing with his cutlery so that he didn’t have to look up at her face. He knew that it was stupid, he knew that he’d made a mistake, and he didn’t need to look at Isla to know it.

Isla was quiet for a few seconds, a few seconds too long for Gerard, who cleared his throat awkwardly, trying his best to force a grin onto his face. “I told you it was stupid” he teased halfheartedly.

Isla shook her head, trying to force something out of her mouth, but she couldn’t, not quite sure what she could say to him.

Gerard quirked another forced grin, shuffling his seat back slightly. “Is it my turn to get up and leave?” he joked.

Isla merely stared at him, something which caused Gerard to choke out a laugh before he shuffled to his feet. Placing some money down onto the table, he hesitated next to her seat before he reached out, taking her phone from its spot on the table. Pausing for a second, he glanced at the lock screen before he entered the four digit passcode with ease, allowing him to add his number to her contacts. “You still use the same passcode” he quipped, the tone of his voice hard to place.

Isla offered him a small smile, something which made Gerard nod before he handed her phone back to her. “Call me” he mused simply before he stepped way, leaving her sat quietly behind him.
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Thanks to FootieJo for the comment :)