Never Say Never

"God does this girl ever eat?" I could hear Dean question faintly as I faded in and out of my sleeping coma. We must have arrived at our destination as I found myself being carried into a room of a large cabin.
"Some, but lately I've noticed her appetite was almost non existent," I heard Sam reply behind him.

"Clearly. Let's make sure we get her something when she wakes up. If she's going to be with us she needs to stay strong because she's vulnerable enough as it is," he added before gently laying me down on what I assumed to be a bed.

"Are you calling me anorexic, Dean?" I mumbled as I rolled over and finally opened my eyes fully, knowing they would be completely caught off guard because they assumed I was still asleep. There was a second of silence and I couldn't help but laugh in my head because I had caught him off guard.

"Uh, no but eating a burger wouldn't hurt every now and then you know."

"Well maybe if you knew what I was going through, you wouldn't have an appetite either. And because I know what you're going to say to that, I should go ahead and say, if you were nicer and didn't treat me like an outsider so much, maybe you'd know what I meant by that." I got up and found my way out the front door with Hershey and my guitar before anyone had a second to say a word to me. Fresh air seemed to be the best remedy for everything these days.

Finding a spot on the ground to sit, I set my guitar on my lap and began to strum one of my favorite songs.

Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should have somehow realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how
Because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all you're my wonder wall

I couldn't even finish the song before breaking down. It was bound to happen sooner or later, I had just hoped it was later rather than sooner. I hated causing a scene. It wasn't in my nature. But all these mixed emotions with my fucked up situation of my days of freedom coming to an end along with my feelings for Dean and faint attraction towards Castiel made me want to jump off a hundred foot building. I had to admit, Cas was certainly attractive, but there was something about Dean that made me spark these feelings for him. And I couldn't shake that off. At least I didn't know how to.

My thoughts were interrupted as I felt a pair of arms wrap around me tightly, causing me to jump. I was too weak emotionally to fight my way out and allow this form of comfort to ease my mind. I knew it was Dean by the smell of his shirt and for the first time in a long time, I felt.....safe.

"I know you hate me being here because you don't ever work with anyone else but your brother and Castiel so I'm sorry for being a burden. I should have left you two to do what you do best a long time ago," I managed to say through my tears that refused to stop.

"You are not a burden, Hailey. You never have been. I owe you an apology for treating you the way I have," he spoke softly, while holding his grip on me.

"All this time I feel like you have just assumed that I was a typical inexperienced hunter that has not dealt with what you guys have but you honestly have no idea what I'm going through. I can barely understand it myself." My mind wandered back to my conversation with Crowley today and a wave of mild depression hit me again.

"And maybe I should have taken the time to ask. I'm really sorry Hailey for being so closed minded these past three years you've been with us. It's one of my many flaws I guess. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I promise you I will listen to anything you have to say from here on out."

I knew he meant what he said because I could hear it in his voice and I felt as though a small weight had lifted off my shoulders. Somehow, I gathered the courage to stop my sobbing and made eye contact with him. So much were hidden behind those beautiful yet broken eyes that had seen so much more than what any normal human being should ever see in their lifetime.

"If there is anything I can do to make up for my behavior, anything at all I'll do it. Making a pretty girl cry is a new low for me," he admitted as he wiped away the tears on my face, sending a wave of goosebumps down my back. Did he really think I was pretty?

"You don't owe me that much. You just fought your way out of Purgatory. I can't imagine what you've been through. But I can tell you that what's coming for me is something horrific. As much as you don't want to hear this, it's my mess and no one else's." I knew that by saying this, he would want to know because he'd try to do what he could to help and I didn't want that. Last thing I needed was getting someone I cared about hurt or killed.

"What are you talking about?" His expression transformed to grave yet concerned and I knew I had said too much.

"I wish I could tell you, but I'm afraid it will make my situation worse. If I knew you could be of any help, I would have told you already." A wave of regret hit me for letting my words slip. It would just make things worse, no doubt. I lowered my head in embarrassment thinking about Sam, Dean and Castiel watching me walk down the isle to marry my fate.

"Hailey....look at me," he whispered softly, taking his calloused hand and lifting my chin up gently. My eyes locked onto his once again, and I felt myself being anazlyed like an open book again. "Whatever trouble you're in, we can help you get out of it. You've been with us for three years and have seen Sam, Cas, and me die and come back to life more times than I can count. So believe me when I say we will help you, we can and will do just that. I know I haven't been the nicest but you are crazy to think I would ever let something happen to you. Do you understand me?"

My heart ached at his words knowing he meant it with the best of intentions but clearly had no idea what I was in for. I wanted to believe him, but I would only be lying to myself if I did. I pulled his hand away from my face and gave it a soft squeeze.

"Always putting others problems before yours. Something we have in common," I remarked with a small smile. In a normal life, he would be the type of man any woman would want. In my opinion anyways. Yet, I knew in a normal life my father would be first in saying I should steer clear of a guy like Dean. That thought made me laugh to myself.

"It's a blessing and a curse, depending which way you look at it I guess," he answered, finally breaking his gaze on me and looking away. It was the first time since we had met that I had a true, heart to heart conversation with him and it felt good. I always felt like an outsider around them despite Sam's attempt to break the ice.m

"You know, for what it's worth, I'd say your dad would be pretty damn proud of you. In all honesty, I wasn't sure you could handle the monsters we've come across. Especially those damn leviathans, evil bastards. You are one tough bitch," he added, causing me to blush.

"I guess I took that after him," I laughed. I was proud of the reputation my father had carried in the hunting world.

“And I can't help but think that a girl like you with your musical talents, beauty, and young age should be out living your dreams in a normal life and instead you're stuck in a situation like this playing chicken with death on a daily basis and fighting monsters and demons ninety percent of the world doesn't know even exist," he uttered quietly but I thought differently.

"That's awful kind of you to say but I wouldn't have it any other way to be honest. Saving lives is better than making a living off of music in my books whether the world knows it or not. What makes you different? Don't you think you deserve the same?" I asked as I studied his face more closely this time. I could almost feel his heart sink at the thought.

"Maybe but I guess I never made that an option. This is all I know how to do. At this point, I'd be putting anyone I cared about in danger because of how deep I am in this lifestyle. Everyone I care about always end up dying.... It's why you need to let me-let us help you. I didn't get to know your dad as well as I wanted to but I made a promise to Bobby before he--to look after you and I will not break that promise," he added with a look in his eyes I had never seen before.

Was it pain? Was it sadness? I was confused and unsure of what to say. So instead of saying something I'd regret, I wrapped my arms around his torso in a hug and buried my face into his shirt to hide the tears from him. He reciprocated my same gesture and held me tightly in his arms while resting his chin on my head. Dean wasn't going to be able to save me and he is going to blame himself and never let go. That broke my heart.

“I know this is totally off topic but I definitely know now why you always have women glued to you,” I brought up with a smile that I tried to not let him see.

“Oh do you? And what would that be?” He was clearly intrigued by my statement.

“You’re cologne. Hands down,” I laughed, not even knowing where I had found the nerves to even flirt with him.

“ Damn you caught me. It worked on all except one I guess,” he laughed as he winked down at me. My heart skipped at least 7 beats. Was he referring to me!??

"Hey, everything okay out here?" Sam spoke from behind after a good ten minutes of pure silence, driving me to quickly pull away from Dean and wiped the tears from my face.

"Yeah, we're good here. Just getting some things set straight," I informed him as I got back to my feet and picked up my guitar.

"Good to hear. Well I found an article that popped up about a boy who went missing at a playground at his daycare just before a crazy tornado came out of nowhere and then stopped after a few minutes. It turns out there have been weird phenomenons happening all over the country just before a person went missing. I can't seem to piece it together but it's not just a coincidence," he filled us in as we followed him back into the room where I found Castiel watching or more like dissecting whatever it was on tv.

"It does seem a bit suspicious. But if there is no connection between these people then what to we have to go off of and crack what's causing these disappearances?" Dean pointed out after taking a seat next to Sam at the small table in the room while Sam plugged away behind his laptop like usual.

"They're all prophets. Or future prophets I should say as there can only be one living prophet at one time," Cas enlightened them through his trance on the TV.

"Prophets? That doesn't make sense. Why would these people be missing all of a sudden....."

"Crowley," I blurted through my clenched jaw. The brothers exchanged looks between each other and I knew they knew I was right.

"Of course. That would explain the tornadoes and earthquakes. So what is he going to do with them?" Sam paced the room restlessly in deep thought. I focused my attention on Hershey who had made it clear she was ready for a bowl of food again. The man I was forced to spend the rest of my life was pure evil and the idea of marrying him made me nauseous and faint.

"Hailey, are you alright? You look a little pale," Sam took notice but I shook the feeling off and pretended I was okay.

"Yeah I'm fine. I think I just need some food in my system," I responded with a weak smile.

"I thought you'd never say that," Dean chuckled and stood up with his keys in hand. "I'm starving so I think I'm going to get some food. Hailey, do you want to come?" He offered for the first time and I couldn’t help but feel my face become flushed with nervousness.

“Yeah, sure,” I replied before he had the chance to change his mind. Although I knew that he probably wanted me to go with him because i still owed him an explanation.

"Cool. Sam are you coming?”

"I’ll pass so I can stay here and run over some things with Cas, will you grab us some food to bring back though?”My heart skipped a beat knowing that Sam had done this intentionally.

"Yup, will do. Alright kid, let’s go."

The first few minutes in the car felt super uncomfortable with the silence between us. Part of me wanted to speak my mind and get my feelings off my chest but the other part disagreed against that idea because I knew I would only feel more hurt.

I didn't understand why his presence had me so uptight. I should feel safe because he was Dean Winchester and was here to protect me. He did make me feel safe. But what captivated me the most were those beautiful eyes of his that reflected so much mystery. And maybe that's why I was stuck with these stupid feelings for him.

“You okay?” His voice instantly snapped me out of the daze I was in.

“Yeah sorry I got lost in thought,” I admitted as I ran my fingers through my messy hair.

“Hailey, I don’t know what kind of trouble you’re in right now...but I really hope you understand that I meant every word of what I said and will do whatever I have to in order to keep you safe...” of course, I knew this was what was going to happen.

“I know you mean well by that Dean but I really don’t want you to get in the middle of my mess,” I answered him while avoiding eye contact.

“You should know by now that I don’t stand on the sidelines for people I care about when they’re in trouble.”

“I’ve been in trouble for a long time, Dean. And quite frankly you didn’t seem to care about it since I’ve met you until now.”

“I have always cared. I’m just...stubborn and shitty at showing emotion. But I care about you more than my actions have shown. I couldn’t live with myself if I let something happen to you. So weather you like it or not, I am going to find out what it is that’s going on and I am going to fix it.” There was no way around it. He was gong to help me weather I liked it or not.

“You may come off as an ass but thanks for being one of the few people that actually care. It means a lot. Maybe when we get back I can sit down with you guys and tell you what I should have told you a long time ago.”

“Oh I wasn’t going to give you an option, I was just gonna force it out of you.”

“Oh were you? And how do you think you’d accomplish that? Because I have a pretty high pain tolerance you know....” I fought back with a childish attitude. Did he really think he could force that?

“No I wasn’t thinking about inflicting pain. I have much more effective tactics that than.” At that remark, I could feel my horomones quickly waking up.

“I can’t imagine what would be more effective than inflicting pain. So tell me please. What would be a more effective tactic than that?” I challenged him playfully while biting my bottom lip. I don’t know where this was going but my mind was racing with endless possibilities.

“You’ll find out soon enough Buttercup. Don’t worry,” he answered with his infamous devilish smirk. It made my heart stop every time.

“Oh so are you threatening me?”

“I wouldn’t call it a threat. More like a promise because threats aren’t always carried out. And I don’t say something unless I have every intention of doing it.” Was this really happening? Me flirting with Dean?

But then a thought crossed my mind that I should have thought about sooner. Of course, Hailey, he’s trying to get into your pants!

“But I want you to know that if you’re trying to win me over to add another notch to your belt since you’ve made peace with me, you’re wasting your time. As ....attractive.... as you are, I am not one of those women,” I pointed out in a harsher tone than I intended. But I knew Dean took pleasure in getting laid when he could. I was not falling into his trap. But clearly, my remark upset him to some extent because his demeanor changed and without warning, he veered suddenly off the road before slamming it into park.

“Hailey, look at me,” he said in an almost demanding tone. I was reluctant, but did as he asked.

“I want to make something crystal clear to you. You are not someone that I view in the way that you just described. You are stunningly beautiful, talented, smart, and an all around bad ass. But I would never degrade you as a person by treating you in that matter. Are we clear?” I bit my bottom lip while keeping my eyes on his in a state of awe and what he just said.

“Crystal clear Dean. Which makes it that much harder for me to not feel the way I do,” I whispered softly, unsure as to how I was supposed to feel right now. My emotions were through the roof at this point. I wanted to just lean over and kiss him so badly and discover what he tasted like....but I knew that was a deadly combination for me.

“What do you mean by that?” Shit, I was digging myself into a deeper hole by the second.

“What I mean by that is....I...I have—” I was cut off by the sudden sound of Dean’s phone going off in which he of course answered. Perfect timing.

“Hey Sam. Wait what?? You got to be—okay, I’m grabbing food and I’ll be right there.” He hung up the phone suddenly and threw his car back into drive before speeding off.

“What is it?”

“It’s Kevin. Crowley has Kevin.”

Fuck