‹ Prequel: Feed the Fire
Sequel: Rekindle the Flame

Kiss the Flame

There Goes My Everything

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About a week later, Sabrina was being released from the hospital. She wasn't 100 percent, but she was as close as she could be. Tre had continued to come in every day but not all day long as before, though he left TJ there for her to be with while he wasn't there. Mike and Billie were able to stop the overnight visits and just visit during the day with their family. Tre's mom and dad had come down from the hills when TJ was born and were staying in the Oakland house with Tre to help him with the baby while Sabrina was in the hospital.

The day though Sabrina was released she thought things were perfect. Tre had brought TJ and as a family they walked beside her as she was wheeled out the door to Tre's awaiting SUV. Sabrina beamed as he helped her into the passenger seat and then moved to buckle the infant carrier in its harness and secure it. She watched as he took great care in doing what he did and smiled at him being a good daddy before he glanced up and smiled back at her. Sabrina settled into her seat happy that they were a family again.

They settled into a routine after arriving back at the Oakland house. Tre's parents were staying there so during the day Sabrina had a lot of help with TJ while she tried to recover from her five week ordeal. After a few days Tre began to leave for hours at a time during the day but he was always back by dinner time and stayed the night. Even though they slept in the same bed, they never touched each other or kissed or anything. Sabrina never found that odd since most nights by the time she crashed into bed; she was so tired that her eyes closed almost immediately to catch what little sleep she could until TJ would wake up for a feeding.

As the days wore on, Tre would disappear for longer periods of time but as always returning by dinner time. One day though as he prepared to leave, his father caught him in the garage and Sabrina could hear raised voices of them arguing but was unable to make out just what they were arguing about. She shrugged it off when Frank Sr. came back into the kitchen and picked up TJ and took him to a play mat and crouched down on the floor to play with the infant like nothing was out of the ordinary.

After a month slipped by Tre's parents felt it was time to take their leave of Sabrina and TJ and head back up north for home. Tre held TJ while Sabrina hugged and kissed them and waved as they got into their SUV. Sabrina walked over to the driver's side to give one last goodbye. "Now you two don't be strangers. No matter where we are you both are welcomed at anytime. If we happen to be somewhere, I'll fly you both out. You guys are TJ's only grandparents and I don't want him to grow up without that. I love you both."

The elder Wright just smiled and placed his hand against Sabrina's face. "Just remember no matter what happens; we both love you like a daughter." With another quick pat to her face, he dropped his hand and moved the gearshift into reverse and as Sabrina moved away he backed the SUV up and turning around and left.

The two adults stood there for a few moments watching the SUV disappear down the street. Tre shifted TJ a little and placed the baby back into his mother's arms. "I gotta go, I'll be back in a while," he said as he dropped a kiss to the infant's forehead before walking away to his own SUV.

"What about me?" the woman said with a smile playing on her lips. "Where's my kiss goodbye?" The drummer just smiled, ignoring her comment and climbed into his SUV and within a minute was gone also.

Another week went by with everything staying as status quo. Tre when he was home was an attentive father, always picking up TJ and interacting with him. He helped change diapers and fed his son. He also made sure that Sabrina had time to herself so she could go work out to strengthen her body which had grown week for the time she was so ill. They also took TJ to mommy and me classes, infant family playtimes and story hours as a family unit. Even though there was no physical contact between the two adults; Sabrina never thought another thing about that stuff.

One evening after being home alone most of the day Sabrina had just finished giving TJ his bath and they were winding done the infant's day together in the nursery. Sabrina had the infant cradled in her lap on the boppy; close to her heart after giving him his bottle and was slowly rocking the now sleepy infant. She never heard the garage door open and shut or the footsteps coming up the stairs as she was just softly singing to her son as she rocked.

Tre came back to the house and with a quick glance at his watch he knew that Sabrina would be in the middle of TJ's nighttime routine. As he climbed the stairs he could hear her soft clear voice filtering out of the open nursery door.

We're living in repetition.
Content in the same old shtick again.
Now the routine's turning to contention,
Like a production line going over and over and over, roller coaster

Now I cannot speak, I lost my voice
I'm speechless and redundant
'Cause I love you's not enough
I'm lost for words.


As he heard her singing the song that Billie had written, his heart clenched in his chest as the words of the chorus came up.

Choreographed and lack of passion
Prototypes of what we were
Went full circle 'til I'm nauseous
Taken for granted now
I waste it, faked it, ate it, now i hate it

'Cause I cannot speak, I lost my voice
I'm speechless and redundant
'Cause I love you's not enough
I'm lost for words.


By the time she had finished the chorus after the second verse he was standing by the doorway peaking into the nursery. Sabrina was in the rocking chair which was facing the wall to the left of the door way. The way she was holding the infant though her face was not where she could see the man standing there watching the interaction between mother and child. Tears sprang to his eyes as she finished off the song.

Now I cannot speak, I lost my voice
I'm speechless and redundant
'Cause I love you's not enough
I'm lost for words.

Now I cannot speak, I lost my voice
I'm speechless and redundant
'Cause I love you's not enough
I'm lost for words.


As the tears flowed down his face, his heart seemed to break in two with the thought of what he was about to do. Somewhere in his brain, that drive to do right fueled him in the undertaking he was about to do. With a final intake of breath he pushed himself off of the door jam and walked into the room. As he came up on woman and child he wiped a few stubborn remaining tears off of his face before she noticed his presence and looked up at him, concern in her eyes for his condition.

"What's wrong?" she asked quietly as to not wake the now sleeping infant.

Tre blinked for a minute, his heart pounding in his throat, "Nothing... I have to go," he squeaked out, his voice betraying him.

"Okay," Sabrina said sounding a little confused. "What time will you back home?"

Tre squeezed his eyes shut tightly as tears threatened to leak out again. "I'm not," he said finally when he found his voice again.

Sabrina looked at the man from the corner of her eye before shifting the infant to her other shoulder and turning to face Tre. "What do you mean?"

"I'm going back home... to her..." he said trailing off as the tears overflowed his eyes and streamed once again down his cheeks.

Sabrina sat there for a minute trying to comprehend what Tre had just said. When she finally was able to speak it took every fiber in her being not to scream or get upset, "Going back? I thought you were with us..."

Tre started to shift his weight back and forth from one leg to another as he tried to stay in control of his emotions. "I'm engaged to her... she's expecting me to marry her..."

Sabrina swallowed back her shock at his words, trying to find some rhyme or reason to what he was saying. She looked into his face and could see the war raging within him as he tried to make sense of himself. "What about us? I though you were done with her, you've been with us... the hospital... Michael said you were there every day all day long... what about us?" she whispered trying not to wake her son up.

Looking down at his shoes and not able to meet her eyes, the man struggled, "I have to make it right..."

"What about making it right by us?"

"Sabrina... I can't... I want to but I can't... Jill loves me...."

The woman was just struck stupid with his thought process but a spark of dawning happened as things started to fall into place; the argument between father and son behind closed doors, the being gone for hours at a time and Frank Sr.'s parting words. She took a deep breath as things lined up in her mind, "And I don't love you?"

More tears fell from his eyes as he sighed, "I love you too... so much... don't you think I want to stay here and be a family... don't you think I want to be with you and TJ... but I owe her..."

The woman blinked as the anger began to sweep through her upon hearing those words, 'I owe her'. She got up from the rocking chair and gentled placed the sleeping infant into his crib. She moved over to turn on the baby monitor before grabbing Tre by the arm and propelling him from the room, gently closing the door behind them. She turned to face him in the open level of the second floor, "You OWE her? You fucking owe her? What about us... don't you owe us?

"It's not the easy or simple..." Tre began to say before being cut off by the now angry woman.

"Yes it is... it's a simple as 'Fuck off bitch, I want to be with my family'. You just have to say those words Tre..."

As the angry tears fell from her eyes and the man turned away from her. "It's not that easy.... I may not be able to do right by you Sabrina, but I will do right for TJ. As long as you're close by, I'll be able to see him all the time. She can't change that he is my son..."

He turned back to face the woman but ducked his head at the sight of her angry tears, "Promise me you'll keep TJ close by... Promise me you won't take him away from me."

Sabrina stood there for a moment as she took in what was happening. She could see the plea in his eyes as he begged her not to take their son far away, and thoughts of Lisea and Ramona filled her head. She took a deep breath and knew that staying in Oakland now would be the worse thing for her, but as always she put herself last and placed the needs of others ahead of her own. "I won't Tre, I promise...." she said quietly trailing off.

The man smiled his thanks and turned and began to walk away. Inside her mind, she was screaming out to him not to go and begging him to stay with her; to be the family she always wanted them to be but she stood her ground as to have some shred of her pride left. Besides she didn't think she would have been able to bear with the fact that if she begged him to stay and if he declined. That in itself was much worse than the fact of not knowing the answer.

She watched as the man she loved walked out the door to the arms of a woman who he didn't even seem to want to be with and realizing that she had condemned herself to a life of hell on earth. She walked over to the top of the steps and fell heavily onto the top step and leaned against the railing. Somewhere from in the kitchen played a radio which was tuned to an old time country station. As the old Connie Smith song began to play; the woman's shoulders began to shake as the sobs started to rack her body.

I hear footsteps slowly walking
as they gently walk across the lonely floor
and a voice is softly saying
darling this will be goodbye forever more

There goes my reason for living
there goes the one of my dreams
there goes my only possession
there goes my everything

As my mem'ry turns back the pages
I can see the happy years we had before
and the love that kept this old heart beating
Has been shattered by the closing of a door

There goes my reason for living
there goes the one of my dreams
there goes my only possession
there goes my everything

There goes my only possession
there goes my everything