Broken and Defeated

Rough and tough; broken and defeated

That’s how she describes him. He’s a shell of the man she grew up with, a shell of a man she fell in love with 18 years ago.

His mom is dead. His dad’s an alcoholic and his brother… well he doesn’t talk to his brother anymore.

He says the only thing he still has in this fucked up world they’re living is, is fighting, boxing, and winning SPARTA.

Well, that can’t be. He still has her. He has her, he will always have her.

Estella remembers Tommy Conlon:

He’s a good man, despite what he might think. A tragic past. A good boy with a tragic past.

Tommy ran away from Paddy, his alcoholic son-of-a-bitch dad when his mom got sick.

Brendan stayed with Paddy, despite his mom being terminally sick, and Tommy never forgave him for abandoning his brother and mom for a dad who loved alcohol more than he loved his family.

The only one who stayed with Tommy, who never gave up on Tommy, was Estella… is Estella.

She’s still here, she’s everywhere he wants her to be. She never gave up, despite him pushing her to her limits sometimes.

Tommy Conlon:
Rough and tough, broken and defeated
But he’s still the love of her life, he’s still her soulmate, her best friend.

“You’re going to fight again? Do you really think that’s wise?” Estella asks as time passes to November.

She’s busy preparing food and he’s drinking a bottle of beer as he nurses a face wound from fighting a man bigger than him, but weaker by strength.

Baby if I win this, if I win SPARTA, I can help-“

She cut him off, “there’s other ways Tommy. You’ll win because you’re Goddamn good, and if you win they’ll put it up on the air and you can get arrested! I just got you back, I can’t lose you again”

War was bad for Tommy. He lost his best friend, he deserted the Military after the bomb killed his entire unit.

PTSD is his middle name, not only did he lose his best friend, he lost his mother, he’s estranged from his father and his brother
But he still has her, and he’s the only one she still has.

“I can’t lose you” she whispers and Tommy sighs, aggravated, “I’m done with this conversation. I’m doing this; screw you for being so damn selfish”

Estella sighs as he storms out of the condo they shared.
“Dammit” she whispers and throws the bottle to the farthest wall, watching in satisfaction as it shatters in a million pieces.

Her life is in a million pieces.
*
He looks more like Manny everyday
He looks more like Manny everyday

Those words linger in Tommy’s mind as he hangs up the phone with Manny’s widow. Manny is dead, he can’t do anything to change that. But he can help Manny’s family.

Winning SPARTA means Manny’s family will get $5 Million.

How can Estella not see that?
How can she be so damn selfish?

Although it kills him to do so, it’s time to let her go. It will save him the heartbreak for when she leaves. Soon she'll realize that this isn't the life she wants, nor she deserves and she'll walk away. Like everyone else in Tommy's life she'll walk away without a second glance. It's easier to leave her than have her leave him.

Tommy freezes in his steps as he notices Brendan walking towards him.
“Been looking all over for you” Brendan speaks up first, he takes a few steps towards Tommy to close the space between them. The two brothers stand face to face after many years apart.

Make small talk, what else is there to say? “How’s it going?”
“it’s going. I’m thinking we should grab coffee” Brendan offers. Tommy declines immediately
“Nah, I don’t drink coffee man”
Brendan offers for them to sit down somewhere, again declined by Tommy as the two brothers stared at each other.

“Shit Tommy. How was I supposed to know I won’t see you or Ma anymore?”
“You had all the information. You chose the old man and the…the girl” Tommy shrugs his shoulders
“It wasn’t just some girl” Brendan offers, “I married her. She’s my wife. You have two nieces Tommy”

“I don’t know ‘em”
“I know you don’t know them.”
“Then why show me pictures of people I don’t know?”
“Their my family” Brendan mutters
“Who are you exactly?” Tommy asks, the pain and betrayal evident in his voice.
“I’m your brother man”
*
“Estella, you have a visitor. He says he knows you from a long time ago” Estella glances up from her painting and nods.

Jason, her assistant, walked away and Estella walked over to the man. She sighs deeply when she gets closer, she recognizes him immediately.

“Brendan. I haven’t seen you in ages” Estella wipes her hands on her jeans and looks at the man she once saw as her older brother.

Estella doesn’t have a family beside Tommy. Her parents died when she was little, she never had any siblings and her mom and dad’s families abandoned her the minute after their funerals.

“Stella. You’re the only one that can reason with him."
Estella scoffed, “We don’t speak anymore. He took off a few months ago and I haven’t heard from him since.”
Brendan looks at her, she’s wasting away.
Deep dark circles replaced her sparkling blue eyes; a thin skeleton replaced the curves she was always known for.
She’s stressed for his brother, she worries about Tommy. Everything has gone to shit.

“You know I stayed for Tess. I don’t give a shit about Paddy. I stayed for Tess. Tommy never even told me Ma was dead. I had to find it out from somewhere else.”
“I know Brendan. I know that and deep down Tommy knows as well. He’s hurting. Shit went down with the Corps, and he’s hurting. He doesn’t talk to me, he shut me out a long time ago. I’m giving him space”
“He’s fighting tonight.” Brendan murmurs. “He’s fighting tonight and he’s angry.”
“He’s always angry” she whispers.

*
Evening came, the chants of the audience could be heard from outside the arena as millions of people filled the building.

“Tommy! Tommy! Tommy!”
“Tommy Riordan coming down the tunnel with his trainer”

Estella found a place to sit and smiled softly at the Marines that was occupying half the bleachers, giving their support to Tommy.

“Tommy acknowledges his Combat!” one of the men says and Estella feels out of place. She knows nothing of fighting, all she knows is that she loves the man fighting.

She feels a hand tighten around hers and looks to the side to see Tess and Brendan.
“You alright?” Tess asks softly. They haven’t spoken since they were kids, right before Tommy left with his mom and took Estella with him.

“Nervous” she says softly with a small smile

“He’s tough, he’s a damn good fighter.” Brendan reassures her and she nods. “I hope so.”

The whistle blows and soon the fight starts, and ends faster than the speed of light with Tommy punching the hell out of the opponent Mad Dog.

Mad Dog is unconscious but Tommy continues throwing down punches and Estella lets out a breath as the trainers all but drag Tommy out of the cage.

“It’s time” Brendan says and Tess looks worried. Estella is confused.

Time? Time for what?

She has no time to voice her confusion as Brendan walks off. She gives Tess a look but the older blonde ignores her.

Soon a patched up Tommy is back in the cage, with a new opponent and Estella takes a sharp breath.

“He’s fighting Brendan?! He’s fighting Brendan?!”

Again, Tess ignores her. The worry and hurt evident in her eyes and Estella has no choice but to watch the fight. Her fingers presses deeply in her side and her heartbeat quickens.

“Don’t do this Tommy” she whispers to herself, “don’t do this”

Punch after punch, the brother takes turns. Each lands horrid punches, the bruises, the sweat and the hurt on each brother’s face grows as the times goes on.

Estella drowns out the shouts from the audience and she hears the sound of cracking bones as Tommy lets out a mangled cry.

She stands up quickly, “Tap out. Tap out you son of a bitch” she growls out and by the Grace of God, Tommy looks around the audience as his eyes find hers.

Her pleading blue orbs staring at him, but nothing can stop him. “Please” she whispers.

“It’s over Tommy!” Brendan yells, he wants to stop, he wants his brother back. “Stop doing this Tommy. Stop it.”

“He can kill him. He’s going to kill him” she whispers and frowns as her eyes take in the extreme fight.

“Stop it Tommy. Please stop it.”

“I’m sorry Tommy. I’m so sorry!” she hears Brendan speaks. “I love you Tommy”

Estella’s eyes fill with tears and soon it runs down her face. She lets out a cry as Tommy finally taps out and sobs like a baby when the fight is over.

“Thank You. Thank You” she whispers not sure whom she’s thanking. But the fight is over and that’s all that matters.
**
She storms into the hospital and follows the nurse’s directions to Tommy’s room. He’s in the room with Brendan and the doctor.

The doctor looks at the frantic girl and follows Brendan out the door as Estella walks up to Tommy.
She’s still crying, the minimum makeup she had on her eyes was now painted into her cheeks.

“You’re here” Tommy whispers as he grunts in pain and Estella sniffs. She hugs him carefully and kisses the plump lips she’s been missing.

“You’re alive”

Tommy smiles and kisses her lips, “I didn’t win.”
“I don’t give a shit” she says, “You’re here. You’re never leaving me again. God, I love you so much”

"I love you" he whispers and seals their love with a kiss. A kiss that speaks volumes.

He might be rough and tough; broken and defeated but he’s still her Tommy, the love of her life and God forbid she’s ever losing him again.