‹ Prequel: Year 3
Senior Year
Spring Week 5; Showcase week (4.29.19)
Just had our official unofficial performance on Saturday and it was amazing. I really enjoyed performing and I enjoyed hanging out with everyone. I was borderline going to cry because I know that it's all going to be over in just a few more days (end of this week). Last week was hella busy, with practices basically 6-10:30 every night, but everything is coming together. I'm super excited to see how it looks on stage and to perform for everyone.
Over the weekend, after the performance, I went out to eat with my dance partner at this fancy restaurant. I was shaking when I went to pick her up and I'm not sure if it was cause I couldn't stop thinking about it as a date, or if it was the way she looked, but something just made me very shaky and I was just extremely nervous. After dinner, we got dessert and went out to the pier for a super late night chill talk. We kind of ended up talking about our current relationships and our previous relationships. I thought I was past her, and I hadn't completely moved on because honestly she's amazing and pretty as hell. But hearing her talk about her ex made me really want to be with her because of the way she was treated.
Honestly, I wanted to show her how I would treat her. I don't know why, but it's just something different. I don't want to fix her, but she deserves happiness. I don't think I could ever confess how I feel because I don't know certainly if how I feel is true, and also I don't want to ruin our friendship. I know it sounds stupid and cliche to talk about it in that sense, but we honestly click so well together and losing it would be absolutely devastating. I don't mean to be doing a disservice to my girlfriend, but she's honestly just frustrated and genuinely happy, and doesn't seem to enjoy the moments. I get that we might have different values, but I feel like there's a line to be drawn when it comes to life satisfaction.
Over the weekend, after the performance, I went out to eat with my dance partner at this fancy restaurant. I was shaking when I went to pick her up and I'm not sure if it was cause I couldn't stop thinking about it as a date, or if it was the way she looked, but something just made me very shaky and I was just extremely nervous. After dinner, we got dessert and went out to the pier for a super late night chill talk. We kind of ended up talking about our current relationships and our previous relationships. I thought I was past her, and I hadn't completely moved on because honestly she's amazing and pretty as hell. But hearing her talk about her ex made me really want to be with her because of the way she was treated.
Honestly, I wanted to show her how I would treat her. I don't know why, but it's just something different. I don't want to fix her, but she deserves happiness. I don't think I could ever confess how I feel because I don't know certainly if how I feel is true, and also I don't want to ruin our friendship. I know it sounds stupid and cliche to talk about it in that sense, but we honestly click so well together and losing it would be absolutely devastating. I don't mean to be doing a disservice to my girlfriend, but she's honestly just frustrated and genuinely happy, and doesn't seem to enjoy the moments. I get that we might have different values, but I feel like there's a line to be drawn when it comes to life satisfaction.