The whole truth

I step inside the silent house. I tiptoed through the house. Dad had cleaned everything to spotless. He is so hopeless. There was nothing I could say to make him stop. I had tried everything. I didn't understand him. Why would he take the beating? Why would he let me take the beating? I tripped on something. With loud crash I fell to ground, before I could get up she was in front of me. For a moment I was paralyzed. Then I run. But I wasn't fast enough. She jumped on my back and we fell. She was making weird noises. It was hard to breath when she was on top of me. I heard my dad. She was lifted and I got up. I was breathing hard. Beth kicked dad and attacked me again. Dad caught her but not before she pushed me down the stairs. Every step down hurt like hell. Dad yelled in surprise and then I felt her again. She hit and hit. I covered my head the best I could. Every blow took my breath away. I couldn't fight anymore. These past days had been so exhausting. My emotions had been on a roller coaster. I let the tears run. Beth ripped my arms away and hit me on face. I could taste the blood in my mouth. Doorbell rang. All my insides froze. Beth didn't mind. She hit me again in the face. It woke me to reality. I pushed Beth away and looked for dad. He was coming down the stares horrified look on his face. Beth got up before dad got her, and she was coming at me again. I tried to escape her attack, but she was so quick. She pushed me to mirror and it shattered to sharp pieces. I yelled from the pain. There was crash but I didn't pay attention to it. I just try to escape Beth. She pushed me from the back to corner. I crouched there and covered my head. She yelled and yelled. She sounded like she would be dying. I covered my ears. There was light touch on my shoulder. I flinched and waited the next blow. My arms where pried from my ears. Beth was still yelling. I could hear dad hushing her. Then who was in front of me? I opened my eyes and saw Sebastian blue, blue eyes staring me. Everything froze. He wasn't supposed to know. How?
''You forgot your hoodie in my car'', he says like reading my mind. I look my white long sleeved shirt. It's ripped and there are spots of red on it. Yeah, I did forget it. I'm becoming careless. Sebastian takes me from elbows and helps me up. I wrap my arms around myself. I see dad keeping Beth. He strokes her hair. Her eyes are closed. Guess she got tired from the beating she gave me.
''What the fuck is going on?'', Sebastian ask. Dad puts Beth on the sofa. She limply stays there.
''Young man. I ask you to leave. This is family matter'', dad says with authority in his voice. Sebastian straightens up even more. He is at least head taller than my dad. And if Sebastian decides to fight my dad, my dad would lose so hard.
''Not anymore. I can leave but Poppy is coming with me'', he says to my dad.
''Young man, leave my daughter out of this and leave before I call the cops'', he says. Sebastian laughs but it's not funny laugh. It's cold laugh. He could call his bluff. Dad couldn't call the cop even if he wanted.
''Yeah, you do that and then tell them why you let your daughter to be beaten up. Come on Pops'', he says to my dad. Sebastian helps me to move past my dad. Dad doesn't make any move to get me from him. Sebastian’s car is in our driveway. He helps me to car and I let him. I feel ashamed. He puts my seat belt too. I lean on the seat and turn my face to the window. Tears start running silently. I let them. Sebastian comes to drivers side and starts the car. We are silent all the way to his house. He cuts the engine and we stay in the car. I wait him to say something or ask something, but he doesn't do either. Then he gets out of the car and I slowly open the seat belt. Sebastian opens my door. I look at him but his face is unreadable. I want to say something but nothing seems meaningless enough to break the silence. He helps me out and to the house. He takes me to his room. I sit in the drunk punk and stare the floor.
''How much did you see?'', I ask quietly.
''I need to see your cuts'', he says but stays near the door.
''How much?'', I ask louder. He is quiet. It's annoying me.
''You got up from the mirror'', he says silently, ''Nothing before it. But I heard you screaming like someone was murdering you''. I try to take deep breath. I nod to him like I would understand. I have no idea how I sound when Beth beats me.
''What happened?'', he asks. There is no point in lying anymore.
''I tripped on something. Made too much noise. She just appears. She is like wild animal when she comes at you. Only thing that usually calms her, is my dad'', I tell. Sebastian take one step closer.
''Usually?'', he asks sharply.
''Yeah, sometimes she has to be drugged that she calms'', I tell, ''Dad lets me skip the school when it happens.''
''How often you get the beating?'', he asks and sits next to me.
''You shouldn't ask that'', I say. I'm not ready to go into details yet.
''And Sean never noticed anything. Not even when you… What kind of moron..'', he rants. I cut in.
''We never.. I didn't want him to see my… So..'', I say and feel awkward. He shakes his head.
''Take your shirt off'', he tells me and gets up.
''What?'', I ask stunned. He starts to laugh.
''I'm sorry. That came out sounding wrong. I need to see your cuts'', he says and takes a sheet from the closet, ''You can cover your front with this''. I take it and he turns away from me. I try to breath silently when I take my shirt away. The adrenaline from the fight has started to fade. It hurts so much. Blinking the tears to stay away. I don't remember when she beat me this much. I let the torn and stained shirt fall to the floor. I cover myself with the sheet. Sebastian turns without asking and walks behind me. Gently he searches my cuts. Every time I flinch, I cringe. I don't want him know that I'm hurt. It's absurd, I know. He goes to get first aid kit. I hear voices. I wonder what he is telling them. Not that it matters. I close my eyes. Suddenly I'm so tired. I lay my head on the pillow. It smells like Sebastian. I don't mind that he has slept in it. I doze off instantly.
''Hummingbird, I'm sorry but you can't yet sleep. I don't know if you have concussion. You can sleep in the morning but now I want you to stay awake, okay?'', Sebastian says gently and helps me up. I don't even open my eyes but I nod to him. My dad never cared if I had a concussion. Weird.
''Tell me if you get sick. I'm gonna batch you up, okay?'', he says, ''I need you to open your eyes, so I know that you are awake''. I open my eyes.
''Okay'', I say to him. I let him do what he must. He gently cleans the wounds. When he is ready, he comes in front of me. I blink my eyes. It's hard to keep them open. He touches my lip. I flinch a little. It’s puffy and I still taste the blood.
''Tell me something'', he says.
''What?'', I ask. He smiles a little.
''Anything'', he says, ''Something''.
''What do you wanna know? You need to ask. My brains aren't really working'', I tell him.
''Anything?'', he asks.
''Not about Beth or dad. You can ask anything else'', I tell and give him little smile. He is silent for a while.
''Why were you at the A-class party?'', he asks. It was the party where I kissed him. I shake my head. Yeah, why was I there?
''I came with my friend'', I tell.
''And who was that friend?'', he asks and rubs my tights.
''Beggy'', I say. He turns to look at me. His brows are furrowed.
''You're friends with Beggy?'', he asks in disbelieve. He stops rubbing my tights.
''Yes, why?'', I ask. Why is he asking me that?
''Fuck, this can't be real'', he says and gets up. Alarm bells starts to ring in my head. I try to get up but it hurts too much. So I stay where I am. Sebastian starts to walk around the room. He rubs his face. I'm too afraid to ask but the words just escapes from my mouth.
''Sebastian. Why did you ask if Beggy is my friend?'', I ask and feel like choking. He turns to me and shakes his head.
''No, fuck no'', he says angrily and leaves the room. What the f…? I wrap the sheet around myself. Slowly I get up and pain is horrible. I breathe hard. I need to know. Slowly I walk out of the room looking for Sebastian. In the living room I see him trough the window. He is furiously walking around the deck and smoking. I don't understand but it can't be good. I walk slowly out. First he doesn't even realize I'm there. But when he does, he comes to me.
''Shit hummingbird, you should've stayed inside'', he says and helps me to sit. I try to hide my pain best I can.
''I would've if you had told me what got you in that mood'', I say and try to relax in the hard chair. He crouches in front of me.
''Please. Please don't ask. I tell you tomorrow, okay?'', he says and the way he sounds almost desperate, I want say okay but I can't.
''What is so bad that you can't tell me now?'', I ask. He lays his head on my knees. I push my fingers trough his hair. His hair is so smooth and silky. It should feel weird to touch him like this but it doesn’t. It feels almost normal.
''This thing will hang between us until you tell me. You know that right?'', I say silently. He sighs.
''I know. I just..'', he says and gets up. He walks far away from me, and then he comes back. He looks me straight to the eyes. It's gonna be something horrible. He is so close.
''Sean'', he says and pauses. Sean what? I search his eyes. ''Sean and Beggy'', is all he says. I feel like I can't breathe.
''What?'', I still ask. He gently wipes the tears away that I didn't even notice.
''I'm sorry. I'm so sorry'', he says, ''To tell you the truth. I though Sean was with her. I’ve never seen you with him. They came party together all the time. I thought he was cheating her.. not you'' I bite my lip hard. I nod my head. Sure. I shake my head. I can't believe how much this hurts. How could she do this to me? We have been friends a long time. Sebastian pulls me gently in his lap. He is telling me he is sorry. I want tell him it not his fault but I can't talk. Tears just won't stop. I don't understand how I didn't see it. I'm so dumb. The tears finally stop when I see sun rising.
''Can I sleep now?'', I ask with scratchy voice.
''Sure hummingbird'', Sebastian tells me and continues to stroke my hair. I close my eyes and slumber to oblivion.
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