Kiss

I take a deep breath and walk to front door. There is surprise waiting for me. Box after box of some stuff. I look at them thinking who's are they. Door opens and big luggage of stuff comes out and then I see my father.
''Summer cleaning?'', I ask. He lifts his head to look at me. Then he looks behind him and steps outside. He closes the door silently behind him and I get weird feeling.
''Not exactly. This is all your stuff'', he says. Like a punch in the gut.
''Come again?'', I ask him. He looks stiff but not ashamed at all.
''They will be shipped to cabin. You'll have your own space. You can't be around Beth again. You upset her too much. It doesn’t do good for her'', he tells me. I don’t do good for her. Nice to know.
''You're kicking me out?'', I ask in disbelieve. I should be mad but I don’t get there.
''No, you're just moving in the cabin'', he says like doesn't understand it's the same thing. Just then a van drives in the driveway. Dad shows them theboxes, and they are carried in the car. And then they leave. Dad, me and the big luggage is left there. He gives me the key to the cabin and money for the bus there and then just goes in. No apologize, no goodbyes, nothing. I can't believe what just happened. He kicked me out. His own daughter. I take the luggage and start to walk. I ques need to go to the bus station. I'm numb from all the feelings. How can he do this to me? I have never judged him. Not the choices he has made. He kicks me out like some summer cat that has grown too big to take care of. I want to cry but it feels pointless. I need to make plan to take care of myself. This is not a big deal, I try to tell myself. I have been taking care of me as long as mom died. I just need a job to make money. I need a car. Yeah, I can make it, I tell myself.
''Poppyyy'', someone yells. I turn to look who’s yelling my name. Crash crashes in to me, making me almost fall down. He helps me to stay up and then looks at me.
''Wow, you look like shit'', he tells me.
''Thanks'', I say automatically. I touch my lipautomaticallyy. Yeah, still busted.
‘’What happened to you?’’, he asks. I look him, andd he really looks like hedoesn’tt know. Sebastian hasn’t told him anything.
‘’Just bunch of stuff. Nothing important’’, I tell him. He is looking at me skepticaly.
''O-kay. Going somewhere?'', he asks and nod to the luggage I'm pulling behind me. I look at it too. Maybe even a little too long. Yeah, it still stings.
''Cabin'', I say, ''I'm moving in the cabin''. He furrows his brows.
''Okay. Need a lift there?'', he asks and pulls his phone. He taps it speedily.
''No'', I tell him and then try to smile, ''I'll just take a bus there''. He nods to me. We say goodbyes and I continue walking in haze.

At the station I see a car I recognize. Stupid Crash. Sebastian steps out from the car and walks to me.
''What the fuck Poppy?’’, he asks. I don't want to tell him my dad just kicked me out. But there is no reason to keep it a secret.
''He..'', I take a deep breathe and notice the lump in my through, ''He kicked me out. All my stuff is in the cabin. I have key there'', I babble. The fury in his face tells me how he is feeling about it.
''It's better this way. I don't get beaten up anymore. I just need to figure few things out. But I have time all summer, so...'', I explain to him. His breathing has turned to erratic. Not a good sign.
''It's okay Sebastian. I now need to go buy a ticked'', I tell him and touch his arm to get him out of his fury.
''Fuck that'', he says to me and takes the luggage. He walks to the car and puts it in the backseat.
''Sebastian'', I yell after him, ''I don't need a lift'', I tell him when I walk to the car.
''Yeah, that's right'', he says madly, ''You're not going to a fucking cabin'', he says.
''It's good cabin. There is wood and everything. I’ve been there before. Seriously Sebastian. It's fine'', I tell him. He turns to me.
''IT IS NOT FINE'', he says loudly, ''You're coming with me''.
''It's a long way. You don't have to take me there'', I tell him. He nods his head still mad.
''That's right. I'm not taking you there'', he says, ''You come to live with us''. I start to laugh. When he is not even smile I stop, he is serious.
''I'm not moving in with you'', I tell him. He walks to the drivers side.
''Yes, you are'', he tells me. I look at him over the hood.
''I can't'', I tell him.
''Yes you can and you will'', he tells me and opens the door, ''Hop in Pops''. I cross my arms.
''No'', I tell him. He leans to the car.
''Why not? It's easier this way. You are closer the school. We have plenty of rooms. And I'm not even forcing you to live in mine'', he says.
''No'', I say sternly.
''Tell me why?'', Sebastian says and crosses his arm too.
''First of all, I can take care of myself''.
''Nobody has inclined otherwise''.
''Secondly I can't live with bunch of guys. What would everybody think of me? Hmnh?''
''Who cares what people think?''
''Maybe I care''.
''Then you shouldn't have kissed me''. Well, that shut me up. For a moment.
''That.. '', I close my eyes and think if I should tell him. I take a hold of bridge of my nose.
''Was a mistake?'', he asks. What a cliche! He is so baiting me. I open my eyes and cross my arms again.
''No. It was an accident'', I tell him slowly and see a huge smile spread in his face.
''So your lips touched mine by accident?'', Sebastian ask. I roll my eyes but then my mind drifts to the kiss and I’m set on fire. One thought and I’m gone. Stupid betraying body.
''Of course not. But I didn't know who I was kissing until I opened my eyes'', I say and see him furrow his brows. He takes a cigarette and lights it up. I follow the cigarette with my eyes. It’s almost mesmerizing to watch. He takes a drag and slowly lets the smoke out.
''So, you just started to kiss a random guy and it just happened to be me?'' My eyes snap back to his. I can see that he doesn't like idea of that. It sounds so bad, filthy.
''Yes. And no. And before you ask, I don't usually do that'', I tell him. He shakes his head in disbelieve.
''You realize it could've been any slime bag?'', he says to me.
''Yes it could've. But at that moment it couldn't be a worst than the one I used to kiss'', I answer to him.
''Ryan Alvarez was there. You know him, right?'', he asks.
''Unfortunately yes. He ate dead frog at third grade'', I answer to him.
''He ate roadkill the other day'', he tells me.
''Nice. So, I could've done a lot worst'', I tell him.
''Now that we finally agree on something, hop in'', Sebastian says to me and opens his door.
''Nice try but no'', I say.
''I have your luggage''.
''So. I have no idea what's in there’’. He looks really annoyed. Then he takes deep breath.
‘’Let’s make a deal’’, he says and throws cigarette end away.
‘’What kind of deal?’’, I ask. He smirks.
‘’You came with me and stay awhile and if it’s too much, I take you to your stupid cabin, deal?’’, he asks. I stare him hard.
‘’What’s the catch?’’, I ask.
‘’No catch’’, he tells, but he is smiling.
‘’I don’t know if I believe you’’.
‘’Have I ever lied to you?’’, he asks seriously. He had a point. ‘’Don’t you trust me?’’. Yes, I did trust him. I would trust my life in his hands but there was something that made me itchy. My brains were so fried at this point that I didn’t even have enough to power to think this hard enough.
‘’Fine. Let’s go’, say and smile a little. Somehow this feels like a trap. But not in the bad kind. I feel funny. He grins to me. Definitely a trap. So what?

When we get to the yard Crash runs to us and lifts me to air. He circles around me up in the air. I’m screaming like a crazy. When he puts me down, he is breathless. He is smiling like a lunatic.
‘’You’re crazy’’, I say and push him. He falls to the ground laughing his ass off. Why is he so happy? I walk inside after Sebastian. Mason greets us inside and hugs me. HE HUGS ME? What the hell is going on? I turn to look Sebastian but his face isn’t telling anything.
‘’Stop bugging her’’, Sebastian says and pulls my luggage. ‘’Come on. I show you your room’’, he says to me and takes a hold of my wrist. He takes me to one of the spare rooms. There is twin bed and little walk-in closet and a desk. It’s beautiful. Sebastian puts the luggage on the bed and sits down only to get up two seconds later.
‘’I leave you to unpack’’, he says and for the first time I notice him seeming little pit nervous. Why? He also looks really tired. He comes to me and takes a hold of back of my neck and kisses my forehead and then he is gone.
‘’You don’t have to go’’, I say to nobody. The room is silent. I open the luggage and sit on the bed. It’s so inviting. I fall back and in no time I’m in deep sleep.

‘’Hummingbird’’, someone says and I’m pushed gently from the arm. I push my face into the pillow.
‘’Come on Hummingbird. The food is getting cold’’, Sebastian says to me. I grunt to him.
‘’Whydoyoukeepcallingmethat?’’, I mumble in the pillow.
‘’Excuse me?’’, he asks and I ask again. I rub my eyes and sit. I try to wake up and notice him staring me.
‘’I call you Hummingbird ‘cause that’s how it felt when you kissed me. Like your life depended on it’’, he says and I can feel heat in my cheeks. I feel breathless and my body is buzzing. He gets up and pulls me up too.
‘’Come on, before I lock you in here and do things you only dream about’’, he says and I can feel myself getting redder. In the kitchen was Mason, Crash and some other brother whose name I didn’t yet know. He smiles to me and extends his hand.
‘’Hi, I’m Ryker’’, he says to me.
‘’Poppy. Nice to meet you’’, I say to him. Crash peeks behind Ryker.
‘’Sorry, Vincent didn’t... What happened to your face’’, he says and starts laughing, ‘’Bass, she looks like a tomato’’. I want hide so bad.
‘’Shut the fuck up Crash’’, Sebastian says to Crash and gives me plate. We start eating.
‘’Where is Vincent anyway?’’, Sebastian asks.
‘’Garage. He has a client’’, Mason says. Sebastian lifts his head and looks at Mason. I have no idea what that means. And I get a feeling that I shouldn’t ask. Rest of the time is silent. I don’t really like it. Thank God somebody's phone peeps. Sebastian digs his phone. Ryker and Crash turns to look at him.
‘’Party at Ryan’’, he says to them and then turns to me, ‘’You in?’’ Like dumb I look around, andd he smiles at me a little.
‘’I...’’, I don’t really wanna go anywhere. Like he would read me he says: ‘’You don’t have to. We go but you can stay. You live here now’’. I feel like hugging him for that.
‘’Thanks. I think I’m just gonna chill today’’, I tell him and after thefood, theyy leave. I return to my room and sleep a little more. When I wake up I take a shower and change my clothes. I go to living room to watch some horror movie. I almost scream when someone comes in. Thank God I don’t. Someone joins me on the sofa. He sits little too close for my liking. Strong alcohol burns my nostrils. I recognize him one of the brothers. I think hard who is left. He sights and then takes my hand.
‘’You’ll do good’’, is all he says before he falls asleep. I’ll do good for what? I watch the movie fora whilee but I’m unable to concentrate. I leave the Novak brother to sleep and change in my night wear. And it’s horrible to find out that there isn’t anything covering enough. I have always had my door locked tight so it didn’t really matter what I wear but now I feel so exposed. I live with punch of guys. There isn’t lock in the door. In tank top and little shorts I go to the bed. In the middle of the night I wake up when my door opens. Something heavy falls on top of me. I don’t react in any way. I feel a touch on my head. From that I know it can’t be anyone else than Sebastian. He smells like alcohol. He strokes my hair fora whilee and I almost fall asleep again. I stir when he gets out. I’m just so tired that I have no power to think it through.