When the Party's Over

Jill was talking my ear off currently and I was itching to tell her to shut the hell up. I didn’t pay attention to what it was about, but she was pretty excited. I kept my eyes on my notebook as I copied her homework that I forgot to do last night. My mind was some place else when I got home.

The bell rang for first period and I walked alongside her to English where we were due to have a test on the current book we were reading. I hated the book so far, but I knew everything about it. It was The Great Gatsby of course and unfortunately it was a required read. I wrote down all of the correct answers and we ended up grading each other’s. After, our substitute had us start reading the next few chapters that were due at the end of the week. I put one of my headphones in as I read. A few others talked to each other about things not related to the book and the substitute didn’t even notice.

“So, what happened yesterday?” Jill asked as we walked to Math next. English and Math were the only classes we had together and I was thankful for that because it was the only time she talked to me.

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, Harley. Spill the tea.”

I grimaced at the expression and rounded the corner into another hall. I kept my eyes peeled for Miles, but I hadn’t seen him yet. “Nothing happened, Jill. He took me home and we went our separate ways.”

“Are you sure? I heard from Emilia that she saw you guys parked outside of your spot and Miles was carrying a bag of food.”

I groaned internally. “Of course Emilia would know that because she’s a fucking stalker.”

“Or she just works there after fifth period.”

I glared at Jill. She held her hands up. “It’s no one’s business what happened, okay? Especially not yours, even if you consider yourself my ‘best friend’.” I curled my fingers in the air as I said it and I didn’t regret it. It felt like she was only around me to get the latest gossip about Miles and I. She barely talked to me before we broke up and I knew everyone in our senior class wanted to know even though it wasn’t their business at all.

Jill and I took our seats at the back of the classroom and I pulled out our homework from last night to hand in. Hopefully Jill wasn’t an idiot and got the wrong answers because I couldn’t afford to get a bad grade. I had straight a’s and I might even be considered valedictorian if I tried a little harder and participated in clubs and all that shit. I had no interest in doing so, even if my guidance counselor wouldn’t stop bugging me about it. That’s all high school was, people bugging you about everything. I had to worry about my grades, my homework, tests, getting things done on time, guidance counselor meetings, college meetings, college applications. On top of all of that I had to worry about my family and personal issues. It was constant stress all the time.

During gym, we ran the track and it was probably the only thing I enjoyed at all. I liked the wind against my face and how fast the time went when it was over. I changed in the locker room and put my headphones in as I started humming. I stared back at the girls who gave me weird looks and laughed when they looked away instantly. I redid my ponytail as I kicked the door open and headed toward my next class. It was all the way on the other side of school and I got there just before the bell rang. I took my seat near the windows and spent most of the class copying down notes. I spotted the next gym class outside on the track field and I could pick out Miles’ frame. He had a natural build to him that he got from his dad and his mom’s metabolism made it easy for him to eat whatever he wanted and shred it off when he needed to.

I watched him run for a while until they went inside. I packed up my things and got up when the bell rang, but my teacher asked me to stay for a little to talk about my paper that was due in two months.

“Harley, I haven’t gotten your topic and thesis yet for your paper. I can’t give you a lot more time to pick one because the next deadline is coming up.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I haven’t really been thinking about it, but I’ll make sure to get you one this week.”

He eyed me behind his desk. “Are you doing okay? I can try to give you until next Friday, but I’m afraid that’s it.”

“That’s okay, I can get something this week. I’ll make sure to spend a little extra time in the library.”

“Alright. If you need to talk about some ideas, let me know, okay? That’s what I’m here for.”

I nodded as the bell rang. I hated being late. “Can I have a pass?”

“‘Course.” He reached into his drawer and pulled out a pad of blue paper. It was the standard hall passes our school had. His next class took their seats behind me and I thanked him as I took the piece of paper and left. I walked down the hall then down the stairs to my last class and saw the back of Miles’ head as he walked into a classroom. I turned the other way and headed toward mine down another hall. I gave my teacher the pass then took my seat at the work bench so I could get started on my sculpture. Another thing I loved besides running in gym was sculpting in ceramics. It was calming to me to feel the clay between my fingers. It was another class that I really focused in. I had thought about turning it into more than just a hobby, but that’s as far as I had gotten.

I washed my hands in the sink before the bell rang. I grabbed my backpack and left the room, hoping I’d find Miles to drive me home or maybe to his house. I headed toward the cafeteria and spotted him with a group of friends. As I approached him, taking out my headphones, I touched his forearm to get his attention. He turned and looked down at me.

“Hey,” I smiled softly.

“Hey.”

I saw his expression change from joy to dread. My eyebrows furrowed as he said his goodbyes to his friends and took my hand to follow him. We went to his locker, but he didn’t bother opening it. I just stared at him as he kept his head down and let my hand go. I wanted to grab his again, but it didn’t feel right.

“Listen,” he started and I was already annoyed. “You were right and I don’t think it’s my place to take care of you. You should take care of yourself and you don’t need anybody to do it for you. I shouldn’t have...” he sighed. “I shouldn’t have done what I did yesterday and I’m sorry.”

My annoyance turned into anger as I let out a laugh. I shook my head and looked down the hall past him for a second then back up at him. “You’re unbelievable.”

He leaned his head against the locker, looking at me. “I’m sorry.”

“Bullshit. You used me for your own fucking good yesterday and made me think you wanted to get back together. Fuck you, Miles.” I turned around as my throat swelled and knew that I’d be walking home today.