Unending Trails

Over and under, under and over, right-to-left, left-to-right and back again… none of it mattered. One after the other, my swings accomplished nothing. Each toss and turn was whittling me down further into what I had felt with the tree.

The light from the fire was now fully a fire, to which had illuminated the front of the cabin as well as the flat area around it. By now, the sun was almost to its horizon, and the sky in my eyes had been a beautiful gradient from the warm settling orange, to a growing greyish-blue.

I could imagine from another’s perspective, this was a sort of dance. It was all I could do, as having an exact point to focus on proved to be completely useless. This was the last stand, as I continued to shuffle around him, keeping my eyes dead on sight.

As I did, my sight faded between being watchful for my surroundings, while simultaneously isolating just him as everything else had faded away. All I could see was him, the turning gradient of the sky as I shifted around in a circle, and the lit area that would glow as my back was towards the forest. Sometimes this meant my back was too the fire, which was the only way I’d fully glimpse at his figure.

It… or he —stood still, adjusting in angles to my turning and stopping virtually every move I made, even if it was a fake.

The sound of my feet brushing around him with my frantic heartbeat was all I could hear. Each beat after another, I could feel the excitement through my own chest and my own pulse throughout my body.

But this I knew, it wasn’t excitement, it was my own body yelling at me. It was telling me that I was losing, and each step and swing I take was only getting me closer to it.

My own huffing and puffing were getting ever so louder, occasionally pausing as I put in my strength to swing again —and yet… none were making it through. Swings from the right were merely being passed on, as he would dodge to my right while he let my swing pass. Ducking completely nulled out my high swings, and swings to his bottom torso were outrighted blocked.

Huh… come on… there’s… there’s gotta be a way.

There is…

Then what are you doing? LOOK FOR IT.

I stared intently at his position, furrowing my brows while I wiped the side of my mouth.

‘Hmm… a way?’

Where? How? This was a question that I had always asked myself with times like this. Where would I hit him? How would I hit him? Where even is the soft spot? Is there one?

I swung twice more before I paused my circling and slowed my movement. My eyes jumped back and forth to his darkened face and crouched body. With whatever light was still in the sky, it had allowed me to see his prominent features, one of which was one eye.

It was his left eye, shown to me by the horizon sky. A sweet-spot in our encirclement where the light of the fire didn’t reach him, while the last bit of strength of the sun could only do so much. It had shown me his left side of his face, the same as it was when I first saw him —only halved. A cheek, the side of his mouth, his hair, and his piercing eye. It stared back without emotion but it still kept its humanity in it.

But it was as it was. I had seen a grin; a small one, but it had conveyed much more weight.

“Give up?”

I eyed him up and down, trying to spot the kink in his armor.

Softly and wearily I said, “No.” It was grim, just as if it should’ve been a yes.

‘Should we do it?’

A long pause befell me as I analyzed his posture. It was strong, almost unbreakable.

Depends… how sure are you on it working?

‘Not very.’

Then you have your answer.

One move —one more chance I would get to have a slight advantage of mixing it. It was a move I had learned when I had trained. Where I got it has almost completely faded from my mind. It was a standard sweep, where in some way, the enemy would attempt to block a right-to-left swing —where in response, I’d meet and dismay the weapon with both hands pushing mine, as I’d overpower it away from my body to avoid a response; this would then allow me to do a left-to-right swing, however, I would feint and sweep with my leg under the enemy to trip him.

There was a huge problem in that Alton had intuition, and committing to a strategy that required a lot of inputs would be off the table. It would also leave me vulnerable, and granted he didn’t swing much, but I had the chance to block every time.

I could consider instead to charge head-on instead to shove the enemy, which would work almost every time, but again, Alton didn’t make many moves so it would be risky.

Look at you Mr. Strategist. I never knew you paid this much attention to the lessons.

I grunted at the thought of my becoming this thoughtful over a duel.

But it was my surprise that was being eaten by anxiousness. The longer I waited, the more alerted he’d be. The second I would flinch even a little, it would give him more than enough information to respond.

…the time is nigh… act, or your opponent will do the same…

In just under a split-second, I moved forward and began my advancement. I lifted the stick to begin a swing, and everything was the fastest it had ever been. In just a flash, my sight went dark as I forced my eyes closed, and I had felt contact at multiple points at once. My momentum carried forth my plan, and the adrenaline was at its fastest and strongest rate.

Though only for it to be stopped right after. My momentum had completely halted; my arms seized in time, and my legs were swept right under me, just as if I wanted to back away and reset… but there I was. A growing feeling of surprise washed over me, as I opened them only to see up at the sky, with Alton standing over me staring.

‘That’s it, huh?’

Yep…

I had felt embarrassed that I, who had created such a strategy and felt as if I had a chance with my past experience, would actually be able to pull something off that daring.

But it wasn’t the silence that salted the wound, it was that same voice telling me what had just happened. All in one word, in that single moment, just like it had before.

...defeat…

“Read just like a book,” I said, grinning while breathing heavy.

Alton leaned over me to extend a hand, to which I grabbed.

“Just one out of many you’ll have the pleasure of experiencing. You’ll learn eventually,” he said as he smiled back.

How embarrassing…

I huffed while I pulled myself up, and cleaned off the dirt from my backside.

You should’ve trusted your instinct, my friend.

I furrowed my brow and looked at Alton as he was walking towards the cabin, “I knew you were hiding it. I was too brave…”

“Indeed so. One thing you will come to understand is, you will always show your enemy as less as possible,” he said as his voice became softer when he entered the cabin.

I looked over to the glowing fire and walked over to it. It called to me as if I were an insect drawn to light. I had felt stupid at the thought of cleaning myself, only for me to sit on the ground seconds later.

I looked down to my hands which were still red and worn down with blisters and scratches. With my back to the cabin, I looked up at the tree that I had tried to cut down and saw it almost motionless. It had felt as if it was looking away, or at the very least just not present; not even a tree to an extent. From my point of view, I couldn’t see the cut I had made, for it was facing away from the cabin.

What? Don’t say you feel bad now.

‘No… not quite.’

Tell me this, do you think you’d be up for the task of finishing off prey?

‘Depends.’

Depends?

I shifted my legs and stared up to the darkening night sky. The old feeling of the presence came back, which was a little unsettling.

When the time comes for that, there will be no dependence.

‘And what would you say to it? Would you be the one to do it?’

Yes…

I was surprised to see that level of honesty with my dark side. I never knew I’d even have the courage to say it in my mind.

‘So easily?’

If at any point would I feel regret in killing, I have failed regardless in judgment. If you do not have the heart, then you should not have the will in the first place…

The words softly echoed again, just as if they were searing into my head.

And to think you’re human…

We are all beings of living. Acceptance is the key to embracing. Or so they say…

‘Hmp.’

I was almost concerned now more than ever for my own health. First I’d have fits, and now I was becoming sadistic.

‘Save a spot up there for me, you guys… wherever you all are.’

Occasionally, I’d hear the commotion inside the cabin. It seemed as though Alton was getting frustrated over something. Other than that though, it was only the sounds of the calm night with the loud fire.

The water’s vapor was a soothing sight to see too. It reminded me of the kitchen at not only Mary and Eli’s place, but also that of our own. The times that I’d see mother cooking dinner while father was tending for the writings and reading were too many to count.

But it was as I saw it myself… that fire for me was still my comfort. My passage into those sweet and warm memories. I stared at it, dancing solemnly either solemnly as one collective flame, or many small ones harmoniously. I was almost jealous of it, but I was thankful all the same for what it has done for me.

Again, I heard the walking of Alton’s footsteps. Only this time they were making their way towards the door. Low and behold, out came Alton with a plate in one hand, and a pot in the other. He walked towards the fire, and I was only able to catch a glimpse from my point of view of what was on the plate.

Vegetables… most likely.

Well now we know why he was angry back there.

I smiled at the innocent thought of Alton being angry at cooking. I guess a person can’t have it all when it comes to living a happy life.

Part lit up and part silhouette, he set the pot down and dumped whatever was on the plate into the boiling water and did the same with the pot. Then repeated the process of going back into the cabin, and only the creator knows where he sets his dishes —or if it even was a dish at least.

He later came out with a small wooden stand that went up around halfway to the sticks holding the pot up and set a bowl with one spoon. He stirred the pot with the spoon, placed it into the bowl, and sat near me, but still closer to the fire. This time, I got to see everything since the fire lit up the front of him.

I saw him look up at the sky, which prompted me to do the same. It was almost instinct to do so. Curiosity maybe? I knew I was curious to see what he saw and to hear what he thought of it all.

He softly spoke up, which broke the inherent ambience.

“You did well.”

“ ‘Well?’ “ I responded back, confused to see such low expectations.

“Mmm hm. Well.”

“So you didn’t see me on the ground?”

I lifted my brows and looked over to him. This time, his eyes were much lower. I’d say to the treeline.

“Sure I did. Though I wasn’t testing to see your strength as much as I was testing you to see if you’d fight.”

“What does that mean?”

“I watched what you did. Even before we exchanged moves. It told me everything… and you passed. I was mainly looking for a sign of determination,” he said as he shifted his legs and turned to me. “After all, when a warrior or anyone else for that matter does not have a blade, he has his will.”

The words rang inside my head like sermons from a religious book. Something exactly my father would read out to me. I looked to the side of me, where the stick was propped against the cabin. It looked fairly new for what it had done. Assuming that this has happened before in the past.

“Anything we are doing for the rest of the night or tomorrow?” I asked, looking away and up towards the sky.

He went quiet again, staring blankly into the trees. A couple of seconds had gone by, and only then did he answer.

“Nothing for tonight. As for tomorrow, we gotta big schedule ahead of us.”

“And why’s that?”

“We’re heading southwest of us, towards Teurin. We need some meats, more spices, other things to mention, and I need to speak with some folks there.”

“Teurin? I’ve heard of that. I’ve heard it’s like my home, just less of it.”

“Well, you’d be surprised what you’ll find there. So long since I’ve been here and it still surprises me.”

A town that’s full of surprises. Wonderful.

“And what about your studies? Anything to mention yet?” I asked curiously, facing him again.

A short pause came before his answer, “Forgive me, but I should tell you this to get it off my chest.” He cleared his throat and continued on, “Thank you for putting trust into me. I know it’s a little too sudden for me just to sweep you over here. Forgive me if you’ve felt uncomfortable any,” he said softly. “For me, it’s been just as much of a load on me. I’ve got a lot of things to consider, and I could very well possibly be doing this all for naught. As a curious wayfarer, I’ve got a lot of things that could go wrong. Truthfully I should say, I’m lucky to even still be alive.”

I began to feel bad for even asking at this point, which prompted me to look away from him and towards the trees where he was staring.

“You might not notice, but I’m still trying to trust where this path is taking me —if it’s even good for me to follow. Soon enough, I’ll tell you what I can. As of now, I feel bad for holding back what I promised, but I just need to see my options at best.”

I took in what all he had just said, which grew that solemn and sad mood even bigger. All I could let out was a mutter and a nod.

“Does it bother you?” he asked, looking back to me.

“Not at all.”

He sighed and looked away, “That’s good to hear then.”

“Say… I’ve probably asked this before, but how are you certain that I’m the one you’re looking for?” I asked.

“Not for certain… but if what I’ve been told is right, then it’s something worth bargaining even if you’re not the one.”

“And who —or what is the one who’s been telling you this?” I responded, looking over to him staring at the fire.

A long pause again was all that was apparent, until he looked back at me and smiled, “That’s a secret.”

To be quite honest, I would've liked to at least get some sort of confirmation. His response ultimately gave me uneasiness, for it told me that something is out there. Perhaps watching me, or maybe in some circumstance, I really have been involved with something. Something I don't know about.

You think mother and father hid something from us?

I sure hope not. I think you're looking into it too far. We are just one of the many victims of circumstances, I'd say.

I chuffed and looked at the pot releasing lots of vapor, “So when’s that finishing? I haven’t eaten anything at all today.”

“Quite a while actually. We’ve got a lot of time on our hands it seems like for now, unless you want the vegetables raw.”

“Yea… I think I’ll wait then.”

He sighed and laid across the ground, stretching out his legs and arms first, only to plant his hands under his head, "Yep. Out of all the times I've been here, only now am I realizing how badly we need seats and furniture out here."

I grinned and turned my head towards the trees. Solemnly staring at the one tree, as it has been doing just the same all this time.