‹ Prequel: Beta

Gamma

05

Jamie Benn wasn’t used to being vulnerable. The captain of the Stars, he was the leader and the one everyone came to with their problems when they needed help. But now, he just felt helpless himself.

The fight with Alex was really getting to him. Sure, they’d fought before. They’d even had some major ones, usually surrounding the fact he was so adamantly against marriage. But never once did he feel like he could actually lose her. And that’s exactly how he felt right now.

She hadn’t talked to him since she’d found out about his engagement from a time so long ago, it seemed like another life. And for Jamie, it had been another lifetime. He was young and naive and not the person he was today. He’d grown up a lot since the kid that was good at hockey heading off to the big leagues at the young age of 18. His girlfriend at the time had been terrified of losing him and gave him an ultimatum that she wanted a ring or she’d leave him. Like the dumb kid he was, he’d agreed to get married.

But even back then, he’d known it wasn’t for him. He didn’t want a wife or to be tied to that woman. And when he finally called off the wedding, he knew he’d never put himself in that situation again. Of feeling like he was owned by a woman, someone who controlled his life and made decisions for him.

Then he met Alex and some switch in him lit up. He’d fallen for her quickly. She had been photographing Tyler for a magazine photo shoot, and Jamie had stopped by because Tyler had accidentally taken his keys at practice. He took one look at Alex and knew he was a goner.

She’d never been like the woman from his past that ruined marriage for him. He felt like a team with her. She supported him in every way possible, never pressuring him or trying to control him. She was the one for him, he was certain of that. But he still had such a bad taste in his mouth about marriage, he couldn’t run the risk of proposing and having her change. So he’d balked at the prospect of getting married.

Sure he’d kept his engagement a secret from Alex, but he didn’t do it maliciously. There was never a good time for him to bring it up. And he found himself in so deep so quick, he never wanted to ruin their relationship. Though it appeared after two and a half years together, he may have done just that.

He walked into the coffee shop he frequented often and ordered his normal. Two minutes later, they gave him a large cup of coffee and he turned around, bumping into someone. “Sorry,” he mumbled an apology.

“Hey there, stranger,” he heard Shea’s voice, and he looked down to see her standing there, a small smile on her face. “Got some time to hang out for a bit?” she asked him.

He nodded his head. He didn’t have anywhere to go. “Yeah, let me buy you a coffee,” he offered, getting back in line with her. After paying for her drink and finding a table, he took a sip of his coffee and waited on her to get hers. She came walking over a few minutes later, sitting down across from him. “Have you talked to Alex?”

Shea stared at him. “Is that a rhetorical question?” she asked him flatly.
​​​
“Dumb question,” he agreed. “I really don’t know what to do, Shea. She won’t talk to me.”

Shea felt bad for him. He could tell based on the look of sympathy on her face. “She just needs time to process this. She’ll come back to you,” she assured him.

Jamie wasn’t so sure. “You don’t know that.”

“Please,” Shea rolled her eyes. “She’s my best friend, I know her.” She took a drink of her coffee and then looked up at him. “Has she told you much about growing up? With her parents and everything?” Shea asked.

“I know they weren’t around much,” Jamie answered.

“That’s an understatement,” Shea muttered. “They would leave her to fend for herself. And I’m talking when she was in like the third grade. They were never fit to be parents, and they didn’t care about her. Alex has always been independent, able to take care of herself. She would figure out ways to get to school or home from soccer practice as best as she could.” Jamie knew some of this from what Alex had told him, but she’d never really went into details about how awful her parents were.

“My parents really stepped in,” Shea continued. “They would find her walking home in the dark from school and they’d stop and give her a ride to our house. They made sure she ate. And soon, my mom was making a lunch for her right along with mine and Van’s. And when they realized her parents weren’t going to make an appearance, they really just took Alex in as one of their own.”

“I know she’s always thought of your parents as her own,” Jamie told her.

Shea nodded her head. “They were. She’s my sister as much as Van. But, the thing you need to think about is how much that changed her. She went from a non-existent home to a family. She saw my parents and how much they love each other and me and Van. And she realized that she could have a family. And I think that’s what she wants. A family. She saw that marriage could include kids, not like her parents.” Jamie bit his lip. He knew what Shea was angling at. “I’m not saying she needs the proposal. Because she’s told us that she’s okay just being with you without a ring or marriage. But, she needs that commitment. Because she lived too many years with no one, and she deserves better.”

“I want to be with her,” Jamie said adamantly.

Shea smiled. “And I don’t doubt that. But, she’s hurt by you keeping that from her. She had that enough with her parents. When they’d just disappear without telling her. She’s the most open and honest person I know once you break her out of that shell, the one that’s got her defensive because she doesn’t want another situation like her parents put her in. She doesn’t want to have to do that long walk home in the dark.”

“Can you get her to talk to me?” Jamie asked.

“Sorry, Jamie, you’re going to have to work a little bit on that one yourself. And just give her the time to process that she needs. But, she will be coming back to you, I can promise you that. And you better be ready when she does to prove that you’re worth it.”

Jamie nodded his head. “I’ll be ready,” he said determined. “Where are you off to today? Work?” he asked her.

She shook her head. “No, Audrey and I are doing a little research on something today,” she told him.
​​​
“Research on something?” he raised an eyebrow at her vagueness.

“You’re the first person I’m telling, and I swear to God if you say something to Van or Alex before I do, I will kill you. But, we’re looking into having a baby,” she revealed.

​"Like adoption?" he asked, genuinely interested.

​Shea shrugged with a small smile. "Or one that's biologically one of ours," she admitted. She wasn't giving up much more than that, which didn't surprise Jamie if she hadn't talked to Alex or Savannah about it yet.​​​​​​​​

A grin formed on Jamie’s face. “That’s great, Shea!” he told her sincerely. “You and Audrey will make great parents. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” he said.
​​​
Shea smiled at him. “I’ll let you know,” she told him before glancing at her phone for the time. “I need to get going, but it was good to talk to you, Jamie. And just remember, she’ll come back to you. You just need to be ready,” she said, standing up and patting him on his shoulder. “I’ll see you soon,” she added.

Jamie stayed at the table, his coffee in his hands. He thought about what Shea had just said to him about Alex. Sure, she had told him that her parents hadn’t been involved in her growing up and that the Deckers had really taken her in. But, he didn’t know it was quite as bad as Shea had been describing.

He needed to make her see that he loved her and that he wasn’t going to abandon her. With or without a ring and marriage. And he knew the one person that could help him with ideas. He pulled his phone out, texting Savannah. Random request, but can I have your dad’s number?

He was surprised when moments later she was calling him. “So I’m guessing you got my text?” he chuckled.

“Yes. Why do you need my dad’s number? Oh my god. You’re going to ask him if you can marry Alex, aren’t you!?” she exclaimed.

“No,” Jamie responded immediately. “Sorry to burst your bubble,” he added. “I did want to talk to him about Alex, though.”

Savannah was quiet for a moment, which made Jamie nervous. “I’ll send you his number,” she finally said, and Jamie let out a breath of relief. “But no guarantees he’ll answer. They’re in Australia, so they don’t talk on the phone a ton,” she told him. “If he doesn’t answer, let me know and I’ll email them that you’re wanting to talk.”
​​​
“Thanks, Savannah,” he said sincerely.

“Good luck, Jamie,” she replied before hanging up.

A few moments later, he received a text from her with her parents’ contact information. He momentarily thought about backing out, but he hit the number before he could do so. He listened to the phone ring, and by the time the third ring sounded, he expected to need to leave a message. He had no idea what he would say though.

He was surprised when he heard Dan’s voice. “Hello?” he answered the phone.

“Uh, hi, Dan, this is Jamie Benn,” Jamie stammered out. He didn’t know why he was nervous talking to Dan Decker. The man was exceptionally nice, but Jamie also knew just how protective he was of his family.

“Jamie Benn, have to admit I thought you might be calling us,” Dan spoke.

Jamie furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “You did?” he asked. Savannah or Shea must have told their parents what had happened between him and Alex.

“Alex called Mae yesterday,” Dan revealed, and it suddenly made sense to Jamie.

“So you know what happened,” Jamie stated the obvious.

“Yes, we do,” Dan replied. “So what is it exactly you’re calling me for?” he asked.

Jamie paused. What was he calling the Deckers for? “I need some help,” Jamie said simply. Dan was quiet, waiting on Jamie to expand on that. “I just need her to see that the past means nothing. I want to go back to how we were,” he told him. “Happy and not worried about the marriage label.”

“Let me ask you a question, Jamie,” Dan interjected. “Do you love Alex?”

“Yes, of course,” he answered without hesitation.

“But you don’t want to marry her. Why?”

Jamie hesitated. This was the question he hated the most. “I just...it’s not for me.”

“And why is that?” Dan continued. He wasn’t going to let Jamie off that easy.

Jamie really thought about it before he answered. “The engagement in the past? It wasn’t because I wanted to be married. It was because she was pushing me to do it. And I didn’t know what else to do because I was an idiot eighteen year old kid. I don’t want to be a part of a marriage because someone thinks we need to be.”

“This girl in your past, did you feel about her the way you feel about Alex?”

“No,” he answered honestly. He’d never given anyone much more than a few dates before he met Alex. She had changed that.

“Then why do you think marriage would be the same with her?” Dan asked. He brought up a good point, one that Jamie hadn’t thought of before. He was really going to have to think about that. “I’m not saying you have to marry her. But I am saying you can’t think it will be the same when you’re telling me she’s different than this girl in the past.”

Jamie stayed quiet for several moments. “You said Alex called Mae earlier?” he suddenly asked.

“Yes she did. Asking for advice. Just like you’re doing,” he pointed out. “And I will say, Alex isn’t one to call for help too often. She’s too independent for that. Damn parents of her forcing that at such a young age,” he cursed lowly.

“Yeah, I know they weren’t around a lot,” Jamie commented.

“To be honest, I’m surprised she’d ever want to get married in the first place. Damn shitty parents of hers never gave her a good model of it,” he continued.

Jamie remembered something Shea had said earlier. “I think you and Mae showed her what a real marriage is,” he stated. And for the first time, Jamie realized there were different types of marriages. There was the ones like Alex’s parents, selfish and probably not in love. There were ones like Mae and Dan Decker, who got married for the right reasons, who loved each other and their family more than anything. His parents had the same type, though for whatever reason, Jamie had never really thought about that prior to this. And then there was ones like what he could have possibly gone into when he was younger. The fake ones that someone forced because they didn’t want the other person to go after their dreams and leave them behind.

He knew Alex and him would never be that last kind. And he knew she looked up to Dan and Mae so much. She’d never want to get married unless she loved someone and wanted to start a family with them.

“Well thank you, Jamie,” Dan’s voice brought him out of his thoughts and back to reality. “But don’t be buttering me up. You need to butter Alex up,” he reminded him.

“I need to do a lot for her,” Jamie agreed. “Could you do me a favor?”

“Sure thing.”

“Can you tell your wife that you two raised three amazing women?”

Dan chuckled. “I think I can deliver that message.”​​
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Happy new year!!