Post Traumatic

(Mike's POV)

It was barely Tuesday the last time that I had bothered to get up and actually look at the calendar. That meant I literally had to wait three more days until I got to hangout with Kelsey again. Not that I minded though, that just meant I had more time to write. Although today nothing seemed to be flowing out as naturally as it usually did. Today I didn't even know who I was anymore. To the world, I was Mike Shinoda, a founding member of Linkin Park, Fort Minor and now my own solo stuff. To my parents, I was Michael Kenji Shinoda. But to myself, I was just no body. I didn't think it would be this hard trying to figure it out by now what it was that I wanted, that I was after. But I guess I was wrong about that too. I stare blankly at my phone, scrolling pass the many messages I had been receiving.

Most were still condolences, most were concern and some were even hatred. The hatred ones came from Anna, surprisingly. She was upset because she somehow found out about me and Kelsey reconnecting. Not that I'm too shocked about it, I'm sure a lot of people knew already. We went to visit Chester, was all that I replied to her. She then sends another slew of messages saying how could I even think to betray Tali like that and take her there. She understood and accepted their friendship from the get go, I reply once more. Not a second later does another round fly in. "I bet she doesn't know that they hooked up behind her back while she was pregnant with the twins." I roll my eyes, this was pathetic.

Chester confided in me that he had kissed Kelsey and told her exactly how he had felt about her the night he found out she was leaving to a different state for a job opportunity. I was jealous, of course. But I still stuck by his side and told him not to think too much into. Kelsey and him agreed in the end though, they were better off best friends and didn't need to complicate things at all. They shared a simple kiss to clear all feelings away, that was it. And to clarify things even more, it was before Tali and Chazzy had even gotten together or were even serious. I decided to call her to end this charade once and for all. "That's a very untrue rumor and you know it. They weren't even together when that happened. Let it go, Anna. You left me, remember? Not the other way around."

She didn't say anything else and immediately hung up on me. Well at least that went partially as planned. I stared down at my phone once it started to ring again. This time it was Tali, just the person I was thinking of. "Mike, I need your help." I instantly focused all my attention to every detail, the tone of her voice meant it wasn't good. "What's wrong?" Sounds of sobs could be heard coming from the background, it must have been the kids. "Someone leaked the 911 call, the autopsy report and there's rumors circulating all over the place Mike. I need you to take the girls, please, for an hour or two until I can get this sorted out. They can't see this, it will hurt them more than this already does." I shifted my gaze uneasily from place to place. I was in no position to take care of myself let alone two innocent little girls but for Chester and the family's sake, I knew I had to do it.

Without much else to think about, I was in the Bennington driveway in under ten minutes flat. Almost a new record for myself. There standing outside as I headed up the pathway was Talinda and the girls with their little backpacks in tow. "Uncle Mike!" They greet me once more, hugging onto my legs. I give each of them a hug and a kiss on the head. "Thank you. I'll call you soon." I give her a quick reassuring hug before heading off in the opposite direction with the girls following alongside me closely. We drive off and at this point, I'm not sure where to even take them. "Can we go to a park uncle Mike?" "No! I want to go see the ducks!" It's a constant battle between the two and I'm ultimately caught in the middle. Finally an idea strikes me. It wasn't the best but it was the only thing I could think of that would keep both of them occupied and settled down for the time being.

"Mike? What are you doing here?" I drove us to Kelsey's bookstore, hoping that the idea of a good few stories would keep the girls entertained. "Oh my God. You have the girls?" Her voice is hushed now as she comes from around the corner and gives each of them a soft hug. "Girls, go on and pick out a good story for me to read to you, I'll be right there." They do as I tell them to, leaving Kelsey and I alone for a brief second. "There's some bad stuff going around right now about C and Tali asked if I could take care of them for a little bit. I'm really sorry, I know this is a lot for you." She shakes her head, quickly wiping away at the tears that started to swell up in her gorgeous eyes. "God they are so beautiful, Mike. Every time I see them, they look more and more like him." I nod knowingly, pulling her into my arms now for a tight hug that I knew both of us desperately needed.

Kelsey was close with Talinda and the kids as much as any of us were, apart from the twins and Chester's youngest son. She was living out of state when they were born, and the first time officially meeting them was the day of his funeral. "If you're able to, do you want to spend some time with us?" I ask hopefully, seeing a gleam flicker in her eyes. "Izzy, you'll be lead for a while. I'm going to be spending time with my nieces." And without another word, we were all gathered around at a small table, looking over the dozens of books that the girls had picked out for me to read to them. I started off with a classic, 'Hansel and Gretel' first until they eventually got tired of that and had asked me to make up something instead. I was never too good at this, but thankfully with the help of Kels, I was able to put something together along the lines of a fairy tale. "Can we name the princess Lily? "No! Lila!" I quickly intervened, saying that there was going to be two princesses, not one. It worked out perfectly, until they caught me completely off guard with something else.

"Can we name the knight after daddy?" I was instantly choked up, feeling the tears starting to slip down my cheeks. "Of course babe, we can name him whatever you two want." I sniffled greatly, suddenly feeling Kelsey place her hand on top of my knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "So one day, the princesses were both trapped in a tall tower in a castle of pure glass, far away from anyone to hear them screaming for help. That is until a brave knight named Sir Chester came and fought off the evil two headed dragon that was guarding the two beautiful princesses. He then climbed to the highest point before breaking down the doors that kept them locked inside a room. Finally before the whole entire castle cracked and broke into a million pieces, Sir Chester took both of the princesses into his arms and jumped from the balcony and onto a noble white horse, riding off with both the girls to safety back home." Once I finished, both the girls clapped happily although I could see the gloss in their beautiful, little eyes. They definitely missed their daddy, there was no doubt about it.

After another round of stories and joke telling, I had finally gotten a call from Tali, saying that it was safe to bring the girls home whenever I was ready. But it was clear to me they weren't ready as they clung onto Kelsey, asking her stories about Chester as well. "Well, your daddy and I are best friends since he first came to California many years ago but I met uncle Mike and the others way before then. Daddy was always so proud of his music and he loves all you guys so much. Mommy is doing her best to take care of everyone though and we all will be here to help. I always told your daddy how I couldn't wait to meet you two and your brother, he was so excited for me to fly out for a visit. And I am so sorry that it took me so long to get here but all that matters now is that we're all there for everyone, right girls?" They shook their heads, letting her hold them closely as she began to cry.

"Mommy's ready for you guys back at home now, are you two ready to go?" They eagerly agreed that they were, but only if Aunt Kelsey could come with them too. I looked at her somewhat unsure of what to say to them. She sighed deeply before returning to the front counter to speak with the young girl who had been covering for her since I had first arrived. Not a moment sooner did she come back to us with her bag in hand. "I got the rest of the day off, I'd love to come along."

The drive back to the house was short and extremely emotional. Chester's voice had came on the radio singing 'New Divide' and instead of changing it, they only asked if I could turn it up louder so they could hear his voice again. They sang along off key but were happy as they did so. By the time we had pulled into the driveway and met with Talinda, all of our faces were red and stained with tears. She and Kelsey hugged for the longest time, exchanging comforting words between each other while I kept a little distance. When she finally asked why the girls looked like they had been crying so hard, I knew I needed to explain. "They heard his voice, Tali. They sang and screamed along with him and they felt close to him again. They know he's here, they said they could see him."

That sentence alone was enough to make anyone drop to the floor and bawl, which is what basically happened. Luckily we all were there to keep each other supported and strong. "Kelsey helped me watch them, too. They bonded so much with her and insisted that she come along. This was therapeutic for them, T. They needed this." I said as I looked over to where Kelsey was standing with the girls and their brother, laughing and giggling about something. "I know and I am so thankful that she is here. Anna has been consistent with me making sure that she stays away but I know the truth, Mike. I know Chester loves Kelsey so much, but her heart is set on you, it always has been. And that's why he understood why she could never love anyone else. You need to tell her how you feel, before it's too late and something awful happens. You know how precious time is, Mike. And you know just how quickly things can be taken away. She needs to know, before time runs out."