You're an Idiot

"You're an idiot," she laughed, when you were ten years old and running so fast to get to the basketball court at recess, that you tripped and landed on your face. You didn't know who she was, she must have been new.

"You're an idiot!" she exclaimed at your birthday party when you got out all the water balloons and threw them at her. She shook the water from her long hair but you saw the mischief in her eyes when she grabbed more and threw them at you.

This went on for hours.

"You're an idiot," she rolled her eyes, while you sat across from each other at JJ's. You had seen a group of sophomore girls walk in and instinctively, you brushed your hair back with your fingers, hoping they would take notice of a young freshman.

She stole a French fry from your plate while you weren't looking.

"You're an idiot," she scowled at you when you suggested she go out with one of your loser friends, just so she wouldn't have to feel left out at the homecoming dance. You didn't notice the tone in her voice, you were just excited to have Alexia Jones as your date.

"You're an idiot," she shook her head, when you asked why she didn't want to go to prom, after all the classmates you knew that had asked her to go with them.

You didn't see her much for the next four years as she went to Columbia and you stayed in California with your girlfriend, Gabriella.

"You're an idiot," she had said, when you told her the plan of not going to college. She didn't offer much explanation why, but you refused to admit you were hurt by that.

Gabriella broke up with you seven months later.

"You're an idiot," she smiled, when you told her you missed her. She had looked different, older but not without some youth in her face. Her smile was somehow brighter, but it was still her.

She still smelled the same too.

"You're an idiot," you muttered, when he sauntered in, placing an arm around her waist. He had slicked back hair, like it was greased with oil, and wearing all black, as though he was trying too hard to look like he belonged in The Outsiders. You didn't bother to learn his name; it didn't matter.

"You're an idiot," she scoffed, when you voiced your concerns about her new boyfriend. That was the biggest fight you had with her since the one about college. You didn't want to lose her again so you apologized and she hugged you. You took in her scent again, vanilla and a little hint of cinnamon, and wished you could stay like that for awhile.

"You're an idiot," you said to yourself, when you watched him get down on one knee and she screamed, pulling him into a kiss.

You felt numb for months.

And then you didn't.

She stared at you as you said the words you had been wanting to say. The words that have been true for years but you never realized until it was too late. You didn't care that it was, and though it may have been selfish, you told her anyway because maybe it was true for her too.

You were in love with her.

"You're an idiot," she whispered, her eyes welling up. "Why now?" she asked. "Why not seven years ago when I was wishing you would ask me to prom? Or when you noticed every single girl at school except for me?"

You didn't know what to say. You were stunned.

She didn't talk to you for weeks after that and you were in agony until one night there was a knock on your door. It was raining outside and she was standing underneath it as if she didn't notice it. You invited her to come inside but she shook her head, her breathing heavy. She was staring at you as though she was afraid that everything was changing and there was no going back.

And then she kissed you, like it was your last day on earth. You were stunned and wondering if you were imagining this, but there was no mistaking that the woman in your arms was real. And it felt exactly how you had imagined it to be: soft, intense, and perfect.

"You're an idiot," you laughed, when you broke apart and you were holding her and resting your forehead against hers. She laughed too and kissed you again.

She grinned stupidly at you in her long white gown and you stuck your tongue out before the priest could notice. He asked you if you would take her as your wife, and then he repeated a similar phrase to her. He said to you, "You may now kiss the bride," and you did so with every part of your being, because this was it. This was the rest of your life and you couldn't wait for it to begin.

"You're an idiot," she smiled.

"I love you too," you said.