There Was You

40: It’s Harder To Say Than I Thought It’d Be

Turning her car keys over in her hand, Riley rested against the side of the car, her eyes staring at Iker’s home which stood a little away from her as she tried to gather the nerve to make her way towards it. It had been a few hours, after she had spoken to Sabrina, she had had to go back to work for a while, but when her day had finished, she had been quick to make her way towards Iker’s home, wanting to talk to him before she lost her nerve. She how it would go, the longer she left talking to him, she knew the more excuses she would conjure not to, and whilst she was certain that it wouldn’t be a straightforward conversation, she still wanted to have it, even if she was sure the words would fail her at times. They needed to talk.

Messing with her keys with for a more seconds, she spared a brief glance back towards her car before she pushed herself forwards, slowly, and uncertainly, making her way towards the front door. Stopping ahead of it, she hesitated for another beat before she gently lifted her hand, knocking a couple of times before she stepped back, her eyes falling back down towards her feet. Shifting her feet, she held her breath for a few long seconds before she heard the door open, allowing her to breathe out a quiet sigh in relief.


Riley shifted a little more, hearing the slight confusion in Iker’s voice, before she hesitantly lifted her head, meeting his eyes. “I...I should have called” she murmured “I...I thought I should have done, before I left the office, but I chose not to. I...”

“It’s fine, Riley” Iker interrupted with a little laugh “I’m just...I’m surprised to see you, but pleased. Do you want to come in?” he asked.

Riley hesitated for a moment before she slowly tipped her head forwards, nodding ever so slightly. “I...I would” she confirmed.

Iker smiled a little before he stepped out of the doorway, allowing her to step inside before he leant over, pushing the door closed behind her. Stepping back, he offered her another small, uncertain, smile before he lifted his hand, gesturing towards his living room. “Do you want to come in and sit down?” he asked.

Riley nodded, but didn’t say anything, instead opting to follow Iker quietly into the living room.

Iker stepped out of her way, watching her settle down onto the couch, before he took a seat on the coffee table in front of her, allowing a few long awkward seconds of silence to pass before he shook his head, clearing his throat slightly. “Ry...” he trailed off.

Riley, who’d been staring down at her fidgeting hands, looked up at the sound of her name, a wobbly smile appearing on her lips. “Sorry” she mumbled “I mean, I had a lot of things that I wanted to say, I’ve been thinking about them for most of the day, but actually being here, with’s harder to say things than I thought it’d be” she added, shaking her head ruefully.

Iker smiled gently before he leant forwards, gently taking her hands in his. “Just say it” he murmured.

Riley glanced at him, feeling her stomach give its familiar flip when she caught his smile, before she shook her head, tangling her fingers with his. “I’m scared” she murmured softly.

Iker just squeezed her hands, wordlessly encouraging her to just keep going.

Riley lowered her stare, settling it on their hands. “I trusted him” she mumbled “I trusted him entirely and he lied and he hurt me, and I worried...I worried that this could be you trying to do the same thing, which I know isn’t fair, but...” she trailed off, stuck for something else to say.

Iker nodded his head slowly, allowing silence to hang around them for a few seconds, before he took in a breath. “She cheated on me” he breathed softly.

Riley’s head whipped up. “What?” she spluttered out.

“My fiancée” Iker mumbled, not meeting her eyes “I caught her cheating on me just a matter of weeks after I asked her to marry me. I thought she wanted a life with me, Ry, and she very clearly didn’t. She’d been cheating on me for months” he added.

Riley blinked a couple of times, not quite sure what to say, before Iker dipped forwards, kissing her hands softly. “I get it” he murmured “You got hurt by someone you were in love with, trust me, I know that feeling all too well, but this isn’t going to work if you don’t put your trust in me, Riley. I know it’s hard, I know I had my worries and doubts to start with, but you’re not her, and I’m not him” he added, gently unfolding one of her hands so that he could press a soft kiss against her palm.

Riley closed her eyes at the contact. “I want this to work” she murmured.

Iker smiled against her hand, briefly contemplating making a joke to try and lighten the mood, before he sat up slightly, pushing some of her hair which had fallen in front of her eyes back behind her ear. “Then you have to trust me” he mumbled as he kissed her forehead “You have to believe me when I say that it’s you that I am in love with, Riley” he added, gently tracing the line of her jaw with his fingertips.

Riley’s face lit up with a soft smile at his touch. “Still?” she joked softly.

Iker smirked against her head. “Still” he played along.

Riley reached her hand up, covering his which still traced along her jaw so that she could hold it against her face. “I know you’re not him” she murmured “And I am sorry for letting what happened with him make me...make me so much less sure about what’s happening here” she added gently.

Iker gently tilted her head up, encouraging her eyes to meet his. “You don’t have to say sorry for that” he replied “Riley, we’re both going through the same thing, we’re both trying to trust each other despite what happened to us before, and it’s going to take some work, and some time, but there’s nothing to say that it won’t work out. I mean, before this weekend, I thought things were going pretty well, no?” he asked.

Riley quirked a small smile. “Amazingly well” she confirmed.

Iker grinned at her in return before he shook his head, glancing down at their hands which were still cradling her face. “I love you, Riley” he murmured softly.

Riley squeezed his hand. “I love you too, Iker” she replied softly.

Iker’s expression softened a little, something which made Riley smile gently before she took her hand off of his, using it to cup his cheek as she pushed herself up slightly, pressing their lips together. Iker startled a little, but didn’t pull away from her, lingering in the kiss before Riley sat up again, smiling down at him sheepishly. Quirking a small smile of his own, he gently lowered his hand so that he could capture hers and knotted their fingers together, squeezing it softly.

Riley stared down at their hands and smiled gently, reassured by the familiar warmth which washed over her.
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Thanks to FootieJo for the comment :)