There Was You

72: I Can’t Be Here With You Right Now

Tiptoeing back into the bedroom, Iker placed a mug of tea down onto the end table, smiling a little as he turned to look at Riley, his eyes mirroring hers which were still half asleep. It wasn’t overly early, with the two of them having decided that they needed a weekend to themselves, they’d snuck away to Madrid without letting anyone know, and with their phones safely stowed away in the living room downstairs, they’d afforded themselves the opportunity to lay in, something Riley in particular had been keen to take advantage of.

They hadn’t taken much time for themselves, between both of their jobs, getting married and Riley’s pregnancy, it seemed as though most of their time was spent with other people, and Iker had wanted to take a break from it for a couple of days, still worried that Riley’s stress levels were too high. She hadn’t had another headache, in the couple of weeks that had passed since they’d last seen Alma, she’d been fine, but still he worried a little, even if it did make her tease him for worrying too much. He wanted to make sure that both Riley and the baby were OK.

Crouching down beside the bed, he gently pushed her messy hair back off of her forehead before he leant forwards, pressing a light kiss against her skin. “I bought you some tea” he mumbled softly, scattering a few kisses over her forehead.

Riley wrinkled her nose with a small smile, trying halfheartedly to dodge his kisses. “What time is it?” she asked.

“A little after nine” Iker replied “Don’t worry, I am not trying to make you get out of bed” he added impishly.

Riley shook her head. “You couldn’t make me get up even if you tried” she replied “I’m pretty sure I am not leaving here until lunchtime at least, I’m that comfortable” she added.

Iker smiled as he stood back up. “I’m glad” he mused.

Riley lifted an eyebrow. “You don’t mind?” she asked “I mean, you’re the one who suggested a weekend away. You don’t mind me spending most of it curled up in bed?” she prodded.

Iker, who’d padded towards his own side of the bed, quirked another small smile before he shook his head. “I want you to relax” he replied “That’s what this is about. A couple of days where you’re not thinking about work, and there aren’t people around to make a fuss, just us. If you want to spend that time curled up in bed, then fine, just as long as you’re comfortable and relaxed” he added.

Riley’s expression softened a little, but she didn’t say anything, something which caused Iker to flash her another smile before he reached towards the end table, collecting the book that he had left there. Riley watched him quietly for a few seconds before she shook her head, moving to take a sip of the mug of tea that he had bought up for her.

Settling the drink back down onto the end table, she turned back to look at Iker before she cleared her throat, causing him to lift his head, a curious look on his face. “Do you want me to get you something else?” he asked.

Riley shook her head. “No” she noted “I just...I don’t know. I thought we” she added, wrinkling her nose at how awkwardly the words had fallen out of her mouth.

Iker closed his book before he lifted an eyebrow, a little playful smile on his face. “Yeah?” he asked.

Riley felt her cheeks warm a little before she shrugged, her eyes settling on the duvet cover. “We do have some stuff to talk about” she noted “I mean, we need to start thinking about names, we need to discuss what we’re going to do with that room you’ve cleared out to make space for the nursery. We need to think about godparents. We need to talk about what happens once he’s here. There’s a lot, Iker” she insisted.

Iker watched her for a moment, smiling amusedly, before he shuffled a little closer to her, coaxing her head down onto his shoulder. “First of all” he mumbled “Take a deep breath. Baby’s not going to be here next week, Riley, we’ve got months before he comes” he insisted softly.

Riley followed his directions, taking in a deep breath before she let it out slowly.

“And secondly” Iker mused “I would love to talk about that stuff” he added.

Riley glanced up at him slightly, scanning his warm expression, before she quirked a little smile, something which caused Iker to lean down, pressing a brief kiss against her lips. “Where do you want to start?” he mused as he pulled away slightly, his forehead just about touching hers.

Riley shrugged. “Godparents?” she asked.

“Marisol, Mia, Garrett and my brother, Unai” Iker replied without hesitation.

Riley’s eyes widened a little, surprised by how easily he’d rattled names off.

Iker frowned. “You don’t like those?” he noted “I mean, I thought that they were pretty good choices. Marisol’s your best friend, and the others are related to us. I thought...”

“I think they’re great choices” Riley interrupted gently “I was just...You seemed to know that instantly. I’d barely thought about it and you seem to have given it a lot of thought” she added, the tone of her voice a little hard to place.

Iker tilted his head. “Riley...”

“I am terrified, Iker” Riley interrupted, knowing what he would ask “I know it’s not tomorrow, that we’ve got plenty of time to get things ready and prepare ourselves, but I am still completely terrified of all of this” she added, vaguely gesturing towards her stomach.

Iker sat quietly for a moment, not quite sure how to respond.

“You seem to have given everything to much thought already” Riley continued, taking his silence as an invitation to keep talking “You seem so sure of everything, and I am so scared, Iker. I worry that I am not going to be good at this, I worry that I am going to mess it up, and that you’re going to hate me if I do because you already love him so much. What if I am not good enough to be his mama?” she added, her voice growing more strained as tears appeared in her eyes.

Iker just stared at her.

Riley shook her head, wiping her eyes with a sniffle as she felt a heavy silence settle between the two of them.

It lasted for seconds, but it felt like hours before Iker opened his mouth. “You are his mama” he croaked “Whether we make mistakes or not, whether things take some getting used to or not, there is nothing in this world that will change that you are his mama, Riley, and that you’ll be the best mama you can be for him, and that makes you the best mama for him. You think I have everything figured out? You think I don’t get knots in my stomach whenever I think about him getting here? I am scared too, Ry, I have been since we found out that you were pregnant, but I am also excited to meet this little boy who is going to be a wonderful mix of me and you. I know you’re scared, but it’s going to be Ok, Riley, I promise you” he insisted, seizing her hand so that he could squeeze it tightly.

Riley stared down at their hands for a few long seconds before she looked back up at his face, her tearful grey eyes meeting his darker ones. “I want to come home” she whispered.

Iker’s forehead furrowed. “We’re going back to Porto in a couple of days” he noted.

Riley shook her head. “I want to come back to Madrid” she clarified quietly “I want to be where my mama is, my papa. Your parents. I want to be here when he comes” she added, sparing a brief glance down towards her bump.

Iker just stared at her, his expression flitting through a range of emotions, before he exhaled slowly. “I’m in Porto” he murmured.

“I know” Riley whispered “But...”

“Your job is in Porto” Iker kept talking as though he hadn’t heard her “Your friends are in Porto. Your life is in Porto” he added.


“Our life is in Porto” Iker spoke again, still not appearing to have heard Riley’s voice.

“Iker, I really think that...”

“How can you just want to leave that behind?” Iker cut in, his voice growing a little sharp.

“I want to feel comfortable” Riley noted “I want my parents” she added.

“And me?” Iker pressed “I can’t be here with you right now, Riley. It’s the middle of the season, it’s not like I can just quit. How am I supposed to be here throughout your pregnancy? If you want your parents, I can fly them to Porto, I can get them a hotel room and pay for it as long as they need it. You don’t have to...”

“I want to” Riley interrupted softly.

Iker fell quiet, staring at her in disbelief for a few long seconds, before he shook his head, quickly gathering himself to his feet and walking out of the room before he said something he couldn’t take back.
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Thanks to FootieJo for the comment :)