There Was You

Pulling his jacket tighter around his shoulders, Iker leant his head back, resting it against the back of the lounger that he had sat down in on the patio. He hadn’t quite known where to go, when he had left the bedroom, he had padded around the house for almost ten minutes before he had made his way outside, and despite the amount of time that had passed, he hadn’t found it in himself to go back inside, not quite sure what he would say to Riley if he found himself face to face with her again.

She had blindsided him, her announcement that she wanted to stay in Madrid until the baby was born was something he hadn’t even contemplated as a possibility, and he couldn’t quite wrap his head around what he had bought it on. He knew that she was nervous, from the moment that they’d seen the positive results on the pregnancy tests that Riley had taken, she had been apprehensive about the pregnancy and the baby’s arrival, but Iker had thought that he was doing a good job in making her feel better, something her announcement had pulled out from beneath him.

Closing his eyes, he shivered a little as a cool breeze brushed against the bare skin of his legs that his shorts had left exposed before he felt something touch his legs, causing him to slowly pick his head up, his eyes settling briefly on the blanket that had been placed over him before he looked up, his eyes landing on Riley who’d taken a half step back, her eyes firmly fixed on her feet. “You must be cold” she mumbled, just about loud enough for him to hear “It’s been nearly an hour, and it is November” she added.

Iker nodded his head stiffly, carefully arranging the blanket over his legs, before he reached his hand out towards her. “Get over here” he noted.

Riley’s eyes flicked between his face and his hand before she hesitantly took it, allowing him to pull her into the space next to him before he draped the blanket over the two of them. Shifting a little in his seat, he made sure that they were both comfortable, before he shook his head, staring down at the blanket as an awkward silence settled over them.

“I’m sorry” Riley whispered after a few long seconds.

Iker shook his head, but didn’t look up at her, keeping his stare fixed on the blanket. “I just don’t understand it, Riley” he noted “I know that you’re worried, but I thought...I thought I was helping and then you go and drop that on me? What am I supposed to say to that?” he asked.

Riley was quiet for a few long moments, causing Iker to let out a quiet sigh. “Is there something I am not doing?” he prodded, hoping that changing the question would coax her into talking.

Riley quickly shook her head. “It’s not that” she insisted “You know I think you’re amazing” she added.

“Then why are you trying to run away?” Iker pressed “If I am doing such a good job, why do you want to be here and not at home in Porto? I thought I was helping, but when you said that, it was like the rug was pulled out from under my feet. Do you really think your mama and papa can do a better job than I can?” he added, the tone of his voice hard to place.

Riley opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, but couldn’t force an answer out of her mouth, something which made Iker shake his head before he shuffled forwards, pushing himself back to his feet.

Riley watched him stand up before she caught a hold of his hand, stopping him from walking towards the patio door. “I’m so scared” she noted softly.

“I know you are” Iker replied “But how is being in Madrid going to help that? All it does is put distance between me and you, me and baby. I could miss him coming, Ry. I could miss feeling his first kicks. I know that you’re scared, and if you think having your mama and papa around will make you feel better, then they can come and stay in Porto with us. They can even stay at the house if that is what you need, but I can’t...I can’t miss this, and I’d like you to not ask me too. I want you to be happy, I want you to relax and be comfortable in the next few months, but this...This is too much to ask of me, Riley. Please don’t ask it” he added, his expression soft as he met her eyes.

Riley blinked, allowing a few tears to slip down her cheeks, before she shook her head. “I’m not ready” she whispered.

Iker gently knelt down beside the chair, his thumb tenderly brushing the tears off of her cheeks. “You think I am?” he whispered “Riley, I am as nervous as you are, I promise you, but there must be part of you that’s excited too, no?” he asked.

Riley closed her eyes, crying quietly as she nodded her head.

“A big pair of blue eyes” Iker murmured “A head of dark hair, screaming at the top of his lungs. Ten tiny toes, ten tiny fingers” he added.

Riley snuffled, something which made Iker shift his hand upwards, tucking her hair behind her ear as he kissed her tears away. “I’ll do whatever you ask” he whispered “I’ll buy your parents a house in Porto if you ask me to, they can even have my bed if that’s what you want, but don’t ask me to leave you here, Ry, because I won’t be able to do it. I need you two in Porto with me, I need to be there for everything. Please, nena” he insisted, his other hand gently passing over her bump.

Riley looked down at his hand before she looked back up at his face, noticing the tears which had gathered in his eyes. Sniffling, she traced her thumb beneath his eye, capturing a tear on the pad of it before she shook her head. “I don’t want to let you down” she whispered.

“You won’t” Iker insisted “There will be bumps, Riley, of course there will be, but we’re both in the same boat. We’ll do this together, we’ll learn together, and we’ll be the best parents we can be for our little boy. I’m not expecting you to be perfect, I am expecting you to be you” he added, offering her a watery smile.

Riley brushed away a few more of his tears. “I’m so sorry for this” she murmured “I just...I don’t know. I got overwhelmed. Things have moved so quickly and I just...I don’t know, I wanted to pull away from everything” she added.

Iker turned, kissing her palm gently. “Don’t pull away from me” he murmured “I’m the guy who’s going to hold your hand through everything. For better or worse, remember” he added, kissing her wedding band gently.

Riley smiled tearfully before she leant towards, kissing his head a couple of times. “For better or worse” she mumbled into his hair.