It's Me or Him

(Prologue)

Life for Lyla Diego had never been easy. After being the sole survivor in a terrible crash that stole her loving parents away from her on her eighteenth birthday, she learned the easiest way to protect her heart was to build an impenetrable wall around it. Hitch-hiking her way west, she found herself in the slums of L.A. Here she was able to build herself up and finally allow herself to make friends with some of the most reputable tattoo artists in the area. Her new friends and co-workers throw her a birthday party on her 25th birthday where she meets the ever-charming Mike Shinoda. She can feel the strong metal walls she had constructed around her start to bend with every smile he turned her way. She thought she could finally have a normal life until she met Mike’s bandmate Chester Bennington. Her world was once again turned upside down as her walls started to tumble at an unbearable rate. Both men offered her the deepest darkest desires of her heart, but only one could stake his claim, right?

(Lyla's POV)(Present day 2007)

"Hey D, these just came in for you this morning." I peek my head up momentarily from my desk, seeing a rather large bouquet of flowers being placed in front of me by my best friend and boss, Tyler. They had to be from Mike, he was always going the extra mile to show off his affection towards me. 'Lyla, I hope these bring a smile to your face. Love, Mike.' I knew it. He was always trying to shower with me with gifts and little trinkets at any moment that he could. "Just set them in the back room, Ty. Thank you." She nods before heading off with them and I return to organizing the appointment books for the rest of the artists. I never knew life was going to be as chaotic as it had turned out to be. I never asked for my parents to be killed, I never asked to be the only one to live, I never asked to be loved or wanted by anybody. But yet here I was, sitting in one of the most well known tattoo shops in Los Angeles, booking appointments for some of the worlds top artists, and dating two of the members from one of the worlds most successful rock bands out there right now.

For the last 7 years, I had to drag myself through hell and back to get where I am today. I used to live in Colorado, but after my parent's had died I knew I had to get out of there fast. So with the help of many strangers, freaks, and potential killers along the way, I made it out here, to L.A. There I started going around to as many tattoo shops as I could, begging for any internship or any sort of chance they could give me. That's when I met Tyler and the rest of the Dead Rose tattoo shop crew. They instantly became my family; helping me get out of my crappy little slumlord motel in south L.A, giving me a job as their receptionist and ultimately introducing me to my now more than amazing boyfriends. Yes, as I mentioned earlier, there is two of them. Mike and Chester, better known as Mike Shinoda and Chester Bennington of Linkin Park. I still remember that day like yesterday, even though it's only been a few months from now, when I first met the two of them. I met Mike first, at my 25th birthday party to be exact, that my friends from the shop had thrown me. The first thing I noticed about him instantly, was that ever so charming attitude and smile of his. It stole my attention right away, the very minute he actually said "Hey." was when I was instantly hooked.

Every smile that was thrown my way would make my heart race faster. I knew I had to get to know him better, it was a definite must. So when I finally made my grand entrance and asked him if he'd like a drink after Tyler left us alone, we ended up staying by each other's side mostly the entire night, only stopping to make light chitchat with some of the other guests we passed by every so often. Mike had mentioned later in the conversation he was in a band and oddly enough I had heard of them but never actually listened to them much before. He told me all about his band mates and even suggested that I come down to the studio one day to meet them. That's where I ended up making the biggest mistake, honestly. That's where I met Chester next. It was raining that day, my entire outfit was completely drenched and Mike had offered me his coat to keep warm. We walked in with smiles all around until I laid my very eyes on that gorgeous tattooed man. He literally said three words to me and that alone was enough to steal my breath away. "Hi, I'm Chester." I don't even remember if I had said anything else back to him because I honestly, was at a loss for words. So now here comes the really messed up part. I stayed in touch with Mike after that day, we went out on a couple of dates and ultimately after about a week we started kind of dating but not seriously.

So what do you think happened next? Well I'll tell you. I had kept myself guarded for as long as I could remember. I kept barriers up around myself so that way I never got hurt, so that way I never felt pain. I was completely shut off from the feelings department. After my parents died, I never wanted to know what love was again. But of course, being with Mike changed all that. He showed me the finer side of life, he showed me that it was OK to have my guard up, but also he showed me that I didn't have to worry about being so cautious with him because he would never hurt me. I admired that much about him. But the reality of it was, I was craving more. When he through a get together to celebrate his birthday, Chester had kept a watchful eye on me the whole time. So when i initiated conversation, we talked for hours on end, mostly about our lives. It turned out we had almost too much in common with one another. Chester was completely different than Mike was. He was sensitive and understanding but when provoked he could become incredibly boisterous and passionate. That was enough to keep my interest peeked all together. And that's where I knew I wanted to see more of him, that I needed to see more. I had given him my phone number, insisting that Mike and I weren't serious, and agreed to go out on a date with him to dinner and movie the following day.

It's really a whirlwind effect that I couldn't possibly control. Mike was spontaneous and sweet while Chester was brave and sensual. I wanted both of them, I couldn't choose. So I didn't. I played it off with Mike that Chester and I were simply hanging out as friends. It started to work, it was going smoothly. I saw Mike mostly throughout the week and then Chester only on weekends. But I knew it wasn't fair to them both. It wasn't fair that I kept up the charade that I was just being friendly with the other. Only when I tried to end it with Chester, it didn't work out quite as planned. We ended up having sex in the backseat of Mike's car, to put it lightly. He didn't want to let me go and honestly, I didn't want to let him go either. So off to Mike I went. I tried to ease into it slowly that I wanted to take a break and just try to see other people, but he wasn't having it either. He insisted that if he couldn't have me, then he certainly didn't want Chester to have me. So what did I end up doing? I ended up keeping it a secret from both of them. I told Chester I left Mike, and I told Mike that I had stopped seeing Chester. it was all one huge lie that I now currently still live in. I see Mike almost every day when he's not in the studio working and I see Chester whenever Mike's busy and he isn't.

Neither of them is aware that I'm still living the double life but I honestly wanted it to stay that way. I wanted my cake and I wanted to eat it too. I wanted everything all to myself. I had suffered so much, I thought I deserved this. But this was just the beginning. Things possibly couldn't keep going at the rate that they are. I knew they were starting to catch on to certain things, neither of them were that naive. "So does the poor bastard still think you're just seeing him?" I look up quickly, seeing my co worker Sid peering down at me. I sigh deeply, running my hands through my short hair. "I'm still working on all the details. Leave me alone, this isn't easy you know." He laughs sort of maniacally before then handing over another bouquet of flowers. "Right, because two timing two dudes who happen to be best friends is quite hard. I love you and all Lyla but you've got to put an end to this soon. You're only gonna end up hurting them in the end." I nod knowingly before taking the flowers in my hand and reading the small card attached. 'Roses are red, Violets are blue. I love you. Love, Chester' just exactly who I was expecting them to be from. He always wrote silly little poems on everything that he ever gave me. It was just who he was as a person, very affectionate.

I quickly get up from my spot and head off to the back to place these ones beside the other set that Mike had sent. I can see Tyler's face staring over at me from the corner of my eye. "If you've got something to say, just do it now please." She chuckles lightly as she continues to tattoo an older woman who thankfully has headphones in. "I just think you're going to have to really be honest with the both of them. You have to come clean, eventually. I've known Mike and Chester for a long time now, almost a bit longer than you, so it sucks on all ends because I equally love all of you and I just don't want to see anyone get hurt." I groan inwardly before setting the flowers down and suddenly feel my phone buzz. As coincidental as it sounds, I received a new text from the both of them at the same time, saying the same exact thing. I quickly reply I love you too back to Chester first before then editing it and forwarding it to Mike. "Just remember this, D. When you say I love you to the wrong person, it really doesn't mean the same thing. If you say I love you to Mike, it could mean differently when you say it to Chester. You need to choose love, and you need to do it fast."

Before I can get a word out, it's Sid's turn once again to get on my case. "She's right D, it's only going to get worse. If you don't really love Mike, you need to tell him. If you really don't love Chester, you need to tell him. Your setting yourself up for disaster kid." I bite down hard on my tongue to keep from losing my cool at them, seeing as they were only trying to look out for me because they simply wanted the best for everyone involved. Instead, I shut off my phone and shove it into my back pocket before returning back to my desk and engulfing myself back into the appointment books. "I've got a lot of work to do guys, I don't want to hear anymore." And with that, they both leave me. I knew what I had to do, I knew that I had to make things right. But I couldn't choose, I still wanted both. I love Mike and Chester, there was no denying that. But was it the same type of love? That, I wasn't so sure of and I was going to have to find that all out very soon enough.