Status: updated as much as possible!

It's Me or Him

Alone With All Your Secrets And Regrets

(Lyla's POV)

When I woke up the next morning, I was still wrapped securely in Chester's arms only we were in his bed this time. I know I should have just accepted my fate, that Mike and I were separated and probably weren't going to get back together, but I just couldn't. Was I stupid? Most definitely. Was I being selfish? Of course I was. Was I only doing more harm then good? Absolutely. Things had gone sour between Mike and I for a while now and I was leaning more towards Chester anyways, especially when I told him I loved him, I felt it more than I ever did when I had said it to Mike. So why was I being this way now? I couldn't exactly tell you. I guess because I just loved the fact that I had two men fawning over me, I was enjoying the gifts and the attention way too much for my own good. It went straight to my ego, too. But now knowing that my supposed 'best friend', my own damn boss, was probably sleeping with him now just tore me to shreds. "What's wrong? Do you have to go?" I shift, suddenly seeing that Chester is now wide awake looking at me with a soft smile tugging at his lips. I shake my head, I didn't have anywhere that I needed to be but I figured I should probably go and see if I even had a job anymore. "Yeah, I just have to go and pick up my check babe." He yawns lightly while rubbing at his eyes. "I can take you if you want, it's not a problem. Then we can go eat after?"

A pang of guilt once again hits me in the chest as I resort to my best tactic, lying. "It's okay, I have to go and talk to Cory anyways about covering my shift for me next week so I can go with you to the Transformers screening, remember? But I'll be right back and then we can still go eat, if you want." He nods with a widespread grin before leaning in and placing a soft kiss to my lips. Originally Mike had asked me to go with him to that exact movie but I had of course lied and said that I had to work that night because literally that same day Chester had asked me to go with him too an hour after he did. So now seeing as Mike and I weren't together anymore, I didn't think it mattered if I went with Chester anyways. "Well, I'll get up and take a shower then. I should be dressed and ready by the time you get back babe." I give him another swift kiss before swinging my legs over the side of the bed and getting up to head to the bathroom to change. I settled on my ripped black jeans I had on the night before and a Stone Temple Pilots shirt that I had borrowed from Chester. It still smelled like his cologne and that sent goosebumps all over my body as I ran a quick brush through my hair. When I stepped out, his face immediately perked up as he looked me up and down. "Goddamn."

Thinking quickly before I ended up back in bed with Chester on top of me, I reached for my bag and pulled out my phone. "Shit, sorry babe, I really gotta go. I'll be back in an hour." I raced to his side of the bed and gave him a long kiss that he tried desperately to deepen before I had pulled away. "You owe me." He pouted with a wink before adjusting himself which only made me laugh some. "Promise. See you in a minute babe." I say with a wave now before heading out the room and down the stairs to the front door. I make sure it locks behind me as I almost run for my car. Thoughts are running through my head as I begin on the short drive to the tattoo shop. What would I even say to Tyler if I saw her? What would I even say to anyone? I hadn't been to work in a couple of days, I'm sure most of them would have some sort of curious question to ask me. Especially Cory and Sid, they both were constantly on my case about this whole situation to begin with. It always seemed like they were rooting more for Mike too, but Dez and the other girls always seemed to lean towards Chester. Either way, this entire thing had gotten way out of control already in a couple of weeks than it had in the last couple of months. I was completely lost and didn't even know what the hell to do anymore.

Once I pulled into the small parking lot, I immediately noticed that Tyler's car was there along with Sid, Cory, and Dez's. Perfect, just the people I wanted and not wanted to see. I walked in through the front door slowly, immediately being greeted by Dez's smiling face. "Nice to see you're still alive. Coming in for a shift today?" I shake my head with a sigh, instantly looking over at Sid who motions for me to nonchalantly follow him to the back. "Hang on Dez, I'll be right back." Once in the break room, Sid sits down at the small table while I follow suit. "So D, I hear you and Mike finally called it quits huh? Well, I'm not one for childish drama and all that bullshit, I'm almost forty, but in any case, I want you to know that Tyler hasn't been up to much good either. I don't want to be involved and I know that you haven't been so perfect, but she is getting awfully close to Mike now. I caught them last night in the back, when I was getting ready to close up. I'm sorry kid, but maybe it's better everything stays this way now. You still have Chester, isn't that what's most important to you anyhow? He's obviously deeply in love with you, why not just try to forget about the past now?" I fight back the tears as much as I can, the images of Mike and Tyler fucking clear as day in my mind.

I didn't think it was honestly going to affect me this bad, because he was partially right, I did love Chester, I did choose him over Mike for a period of time, but it still didn't matter. The thought of him already moving on and sleeping with someone else who I swore was my best friend, destroyed me to the very core. A couple of tears leaked down my face and Sid handed me a tissue with a pained look in his eyes. "Fuck D, this is exactly why I don't get into the kinda shit. Now all succeeded in was breaking your heart even more. I'm sorry, but I figured you needed to know. It's kinda obvious that things weren't going to stay perfect between the three of you for much longer anyway. You and I both know that. Mike went over to Chester's house last night, did he not?" I shot him an unbelievable stare but quickly stopped myself from saying anything because I already had the answers as to how he and everyone else in the fucking shop knew all of my business already. Tyler had more than likely spread it out to everyone that my little world of having two guys love and care for me had finally came crashing down. My sorrow turned to heated rage in a matter of seconds. "I know I wasn't the best at keeping my secrets to myself. I know all of you here know my business because I put it out there. But I don't need someone who claimed to be my best friend tell everyone at my work that my party had finally ended. I know I did this to myself, but I don't need to reminded constantly."

So instead of thinking straight, I opted out for doing things the hard way. I raced around from the break room straight to the main office where who do you think I saw in there despite me only being here for a little over fifteen minutes? Mike. He was holding Tyler and kissing her. She knew that I was here, I knew she had seen me walk in and talk with Dez. That's why she did it, that's why she called him, so I can see just for myself that he's clearly already over me and not thinking a single about me. "Oh, am I interrupting something?" He immediately pulls away and stands back almost knocking her straight over the desk and I can't help but to let out a menacing chuckle. "Fuck, Lyla, what are you even doing here?" He's clearly shocked and I can see the fear building in his eyes. I let out another bitter laugh before answering him. "What do you mean 'what am I doing here'? I work here Mike, remember? She's my boss, I came to talk with her. But clearly she's too busy shoving her tongue down my now ex's throat so I'll come back later." I turn on my heels to leave but what she says next makes me stop dead in my tracks. "It's always been this way, at least, for the last couple of months or so it has. Do you really think that he won't know about you still being in love with Chester? I haven't tell him a single thing, but now that you're here, maybe it's time you tell him all your secrets?"

But I didn't do that, oh no, I was not about to go down like this. I curled my hand into a tight fist and swung it hard to her face, seeing the blood soon spray from her nose as she tossed herself onto the ground. Mike didn't exactly run to her side to offer his comfort but he didn't necessarily just stand there either. "What the fuck is going on, Lyla? What the hell is she talking about?" I don't answer him, I head for the front desk instead with my bag in tow. Sid, Cory, and Dez are all standing there with completely blank looks on their faces as I begin to practically throw all my belongings that I had left their inside of my bag. I then remember my gifts from Chester that I had left in the break room and ask Cory politely to get them for me. He does without a word and hands them to me just as silently. I give him a quick pat on the shoulder and a simple "Thank you." which he only smiles weakly to. It doesn't take long before Tyler is now staggering out of the back with a rag pressed tightly against her nose that blood had still continued to pour out of. "Yeah, get all your shit, that's right. You're no longer an employee here! You're fired, you fucking slut. And we never were even really friends, I just lied so you'd stop trying to kill and act sorry for yourself. You're through!"

In a matter of days, let alone shy of three weeks, my entire life as I knew it had come to an end. No more dream job, no more rockstar life, no more being waited on hand and foot by two people who would walk to the ends of the Earth with me. It was just me and hopefully still, Chester. As I left out of the door with it slamming shut behind, I could sense that someone was behind me. I spun around, only to be face to face with Mike now. He had a hurt and confused look on his face, so I decided now was as good a time as any to break my silence. "When I told you I broke up with Chester, I lied. I tried to, that day you all were in the studio, but he didn't want to let me go. So we had sex in your car while you were working over the final version for 'What I've Done', that's what took us so long to come back inside. I kept up a secret relationship between the both of you for the last two months. So when I heard what Anna had said to you the other night at dinner, I figured things were going to end between us, which is why I ran back to Chaz. I didn't expect you to find me or even put the pieces together, since you clearly didn't, but it's all true. I told him I broke up with you the next day and kept up the same charade that I was with you. So this whole time, I've been seeing you and him, on different days, different occasions. I was going to wait before you left on tour next month to make my final choice, because it's not fair to keep both of you on the edge but it didn't work out that way. I'm sorry, Mike."

Tears are running down his cheeks as his expression contorts to absolutely heartbreak and devastation. "What-How-I can't fucking believe you. I knew I couldn't trust you, I knew I should have seen this coming! Everyone always falls for Chester, everyone always picks him! Well, you finally got what you wanted then, didn't you Lyla? It's me or him, and obviously you've made your choice long ago. And as for the tour? I'm cancelling it. I'm not gonna continue on with someone who I thought was my best friend, my brother, still getting to be with you. That's not how life works, not in the least bit. I'm going to call a group meeting and get all this out on the table, there's no question about it. You're going to be alone, all alone. With every little regret and secret you've ever kept from me and even him, it's all coming to an end. If that means having to disband, then fine. There will be no more Linkin Park, I can assure you that. And it'll be all your fault, because you just couldn't pick one or the other. You had to have it all your way and now you'll see how horrible it is to be all alone. Don't ever speak to me again, we're through. And as for Chester? He's gonna know all about you and your two faced ways very soon. You better enjoy him while you can, because it's all about to end."
♠ ♠ ♠
Wow, drama, drama, drama, and more drama. Sorry its taken me so long to update, writers block and life in general are torture. Anyway let me know what you all think! Thanks for all the patience and support! This story is far from over! xx