Someone Out There Loves You

I guess at some point I must have fallen asleep because I woke up. Well more like woken up. The first thing I noticed was that the sun was too God Damn bright. It was giving me a head ache. One of those annoying ones where you think the pain has stopped then it just floods your head again. The sun wasn’t what woke me up though. No, it was a young boy who goes by the name of Luke.

“Morning Sunshine!” He sang as he entered the room. His gaze suddenly rested on me. “Oh, morning sunshine’s.” He corrected him self wearing a happy grin that just screamed “I knew you two would sort it out.”

I sat up groggily, some of the blankets falling onto the floor and exposing some bare stomach where my shirt had risen up in the night. I saw both boys avert their stares. “Ugh, what time is it?” I yawned covering myself up.

“Almost eleven.” Luke answered consulting his watch.

“Whoa.” I said stunned whilst running my fingers through my hair in some useless attempt to tame it.

“Why, you got to be somewhere?” He asked shrugging his jacket off and throwing it carelessly onto an arm chair.

“No, not really.” I sighed. “I just didn’t expect it to be this late. I hardly ever sleep in these days.” I told him. Will raised his head off of his pillow curiously. I almost giggled at his appearance. He reminded me a little of Snow White although I would never tell him that in fear of ruining his male ego. It was the whole “hair as black as coal” and “cheeks as white as snow”.

“So are you two friends again?” The room went silent for just a moment until Will opened his mouth.

“Luke! Do you even have the word “tact” in your vocabulary? Jesus!” He flopped back down onto his mattress and covered his face up with his hands. Luke caught my eye and gave me a funny look but I just shrugged.

“I’m going to go use the bathroom, okay?” I told them before standing up clumsily and stumbling out of the room. I could still hear Will whispering fiercely to Luke whilst Luke protested his innocence.

To put it simply, I looked like crap. My face was sickly pale and my hair looked very similar to a scrubbing brush. The dress I was wearing yesterday was hung over the radiator and smelt suspiciously like washing powder instead of the harsh chlorine.

“Gabriella?” Will was knocking at the door. I quickly opened it to reveal him stood there with, what I hoped, was clean clothes in his arms.

“Here, these are Luke’s because obviously he’s thinner than me so they will fit you better.” He suddenly looked down embarrassed.

“Will...” I wanted to reach out and touch him and try and persuade him he’s not fat. However I don’t think he would take it very well from someone who is borderline anorexic. “Thanks.” I smiled and took the shirt and jeans from his hands. He had also included a belt to make sure they didn’t end up around my ankles.

“Can I speak to you?” He asked taking a small step towards me. I nodded and he quietly shut the door to drown out Luke’s out of tune singing. I could feel his eyes boring into me for a few seconds and all I could think was “awkward”. “Er... Are you okay?” His voice sounded so pathetic and desperate.

“Yeah, I think so.” I replied unsurely. “Do you have a hair brush?” I watched as his gaze travelled up from my face to the top of my head. A small smirk appeared on his lips. Suddenly he leant forward and for one crazy, magical moment I was sure he was going to kiss me. I mean, full on the lips kiss me. I think he thought he was too because he turned a light shade of pink and looked like he was cursing himself inside. However, he didn’t and instead he picked up a brush from the shelf behind me. We were so close I could feel his breath on my neck.

“Here,” He handed me the brush before sniggering, “You look like you’ve been electrocuted.” I stuck my tongue out at him and gave him the finger. He gasped in mock outrage and shock. Slowly he placed his warm hands on top of my cold ones, pushing my finger back against my palm so I was no longer swearing at him. He then pulled my wrist towards him and hugged me.

I actually had no idea why he was hugging me but I wasn’t complaining. It felt so good to be in his arms again. I twisted my head so it wasn’t pushing against his chest awkwardly. Instead my gaze was fixed on the mirror in front of us. What I saw shocked me. Will looked amazing as usual, well to me he did. His body was all soft and even though he was pale he had that glow that only healthy people have. His black hair was shiny and glossy from only being washed yesterday and his eyes seemed to have got brighter. He was holding a girl. I hardly recognised her. She wasn’t soft; she was sharp. Her wrists and elbows jutted out of her skin. Her skin was pale too; however, it was that sick kind of pale you see on cancer patients. Her hair was dark and dull and the parts that weren’t sticking up hung lankly past her shoulders. Her eyes lacked life. The girl was me. It looked like Will was hugging a corpse.

I tried my hardest to hold back a startled gasp and stop my eyes overflowing with tears. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Wills voice vibrated against my body. He too was looking at me through the mirror. I nodded unconvincingly and he sighed sadly. “I think... I think you need help.” He paused half way through his sentence hesitant whether to finish it or not. As soon as he did I instantly pulled away.

“I’m fine, honest.” I tried to protest but he was shaking his head.

“Gabriella please. You won’t talk to me but please talk to someone else. I’m so worried about you.” His eyes were getting watery and his voice was getting higher and louder as he spoke. I was sure Luke would be able to hear every bit of our conversation.

“No, I really don’t need to talk to anyone. I’m not going to therapy. I’m not crazy.”

“I didn’t say you were crazy. You’re twisting my words.” He argued. I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I didn’t want to yell at Will.

“I’m sorry. I’m just going through some stuff. The past few weeks have been hard for me and I took it out on you. I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot.” He said sweetly pulling me into another hug although it was a bit restrained as if he was scared I would pull away. I didn’t. “Move in with me.” It came out mumbled and I didn’t understand at first.

“What?”

“Move in with Luke and me.” I was shaking my head but he wasn’t listening. “Come on, it makes sense. There’s an extra room in the house. You won’t have to pay as much rent as it will be split into three.” I didn’t bother saying that I didn’t pay anyway. The only contact I have with my Father is the monthly letter he sends saying he has put some money into my account.

“I don’t know Will.”

“Luke will be thrilled. He adores you. I adore you. I just want to help you get better.” We were silent for a few moments. I didn’t know what to do or say. I know he was asking me so he could keep an eye on me. He was worried, that was it. There was no hidden meaning in his words.

For some reason I thought of The Smiths. They were Will’s favourite band. I had some spare money from not spending it on food so instead I invested in some of their CDS. One song jumped out at me. Asleep. I have no idea why I liked it so much but I had it on repeat for hours at a time. I remembered some lyrics from it. “Sing me to sleep. Sing me to sleep. I don’t want to wake up on my own anymore.” And it’s true. I didn’t.

“I have to think about it.” I told him warily. He smiled and nodded but didn’t press the subject further.

“So are we friends again?” He asked hopefully. I sighed sadly because I knew I would end up hurting him- again. I nodded slowly and his face split into a grin. “Okay, so what do you want for breakfast? Toast or pancakes?”