Someone Out There Loves You

“Gabriella!” Wills voice echoed through the dark forest. I ignored him and continued trying not to twist my ankle on any tree roots. “Gabriella.” He repeated gripping my wrist and twisting me round.

“What?” I snapped glaring at him.

“It doesn’t matter. None of it matters.” He gasped attempting to catch his breath.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “What do you mean “It doesn’t matter”?”

“Don’t you see?” He breathed. “What you said about your mum, it’s not important.”

“It’s not important!” I repeated, venom dripping off every word.

He nodded. “I think it’s an excuse.” He continued. He really should shut up soon.

“An excuse for what, exactly?”

“For the fact that you’re scared to get close to anyone because you think they will leave you just like your Mum did by taking her own life and your Dad did by throwing you out.”

“Is that right?” I snapped pursing my lips. “Well, it doesn’t matter about me not getting close to anyone because I’ve already told you, I’m going. You just wasted your time with me.”

“For God’s sake!” He suddenly exploded. “You know what? When I first saw you at that cafe, I wasn’t planning on getting into anything. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. When I saw you run out, I thought maybe I should follow you to make sure you were alright. But then I remembered that every one had problems, including me, so I decided not to get involved. Then things happened like me dropping your note book at your house and that first party where you broke down in tears.”

“I know all this,” I cut in. “We’re going to have to walk around to find a gate because there’s no way I’m going to get back over that fence without any help from your car.”

“Yeah, I didn’t appreciate that.” He muttered darkly. “Let me finish.”

“Fine...” I huffed. Listening to him would probably pass the time anyway.

“As I was saying, I started developing a friendship with you and Bang! Out of nowhere these feelings started appearing. I tried to stop them honestly. When I found out what you did to yourself, I thought maybe they would disappear. You know, because I couldn’t be dealing with what you did. I know I sound like a... Well, maybe I am but when I found out the feelings just became stronger. My head was pounding because I was so confused. I didn’t mean to get into anything with you but I did and don’t you dare say that I last night didn’t mean anything to me. It meant a lot more than you think.”

My own head was throbbing. I didn’t know what to believe. I knew that he was telling the truth but I didn’t want to believe it. It would just make things harder.

“I think I can see a gate.” I mumbled ignoring the fact he just poured his heart out to me. I turned to face him and saw that tears where falling freely from his eyes. I bit my lip and waited for him to catch up with me. “You’re crying.” I stated. “I just make everyone sad. That’s why I need to go. Then you will be happy again.”

“What about Luke?” He asked desperately. I shook my head.

“No one will notice if I run away.” I replied. I unlatched the gate and sighed in relief to find it wasn’t locked. We walked back to his car in silence; the only sounds were from the scratching of the gravel and Wills stuttering breaths.

“I’m driving this time.” He muttered as we approached the abandoned car. I nodded and got into the passenger seat, carefully snapping the seat belt over my body. I felt exhausted; physically and emotionally.

Will got into the drivers seat and started the engine. We wouldn’t be home for at least four hours unless Will decided to break every speed limit too. I sat back into the chair and closed my eyes. He slowly pulled out into the motor way and the gentle purring from the car was making me sleepy. I couldn’t sleep yet, though.

“How do you feel?” I asked quietly. He sighed and remained silent for a few moments, his concentration completely on the road in front of him. His eyes looked painful, red and bloodshot.

“I don’t know; sick?” He mumbled before clearing his voice to speak louder. “My head is spinning but I know one thing. If you leave I don’t know how I’d cope. For so long my whole life had revolved around making you happy; making you better. It wasn’t a bad thing. I liked knowing the reason you were smiling was because I made a complete idiot of myself or cracked a really lame joke. I thought your smile was the cutest thing ever.” He suddenly laughed and it startled me a little. There was a smile plastered across his own face but I could still see tears welling up in his eyes. I found myself blushing.

Yep, he still had that effect on me. I didn’t say anything and he continued. “I know you’ve only been apart of my life for a few months but I feel like I’ve got a purpose now. But you’re going so I don’t know what my purpose is.”

“Will, you had a life before me.” I told him. He nodded.

“I know but like I said, everything has changed but in the best way possible. I don’t if there is a name for that feeling.”

“Love?” I whispered.

“Hmm?” He mumbled not quite catching what I said.

“Love; the feeling you talked about. Is it love? Do you love me?” I surprised myself at my bluntness but I didn’t have time for cheesy cliché’s and romance like normal people. I rested my eyes on him and he sucked in his breath sharply.

“Again, I don’t know. I’ve never felt it before. Maybe it is love? Maybe I do love you?” His voice suddenly cracked. “Please don’t go, Gabriella. I’ll do anything to get you to stay. I hate that saying “if you loved me you will let me go” because I can’t do that. It will hurt too much. I know I’m being really selfish and I’m sorry...” His voice got higher with emotion. I remained silent for a few minutes. I didn’t look at him. Instead I focused on his pale hands, his knuckles white from gripping the steering wheel so tight.

“Are you okay?” I asked softly.

Will removed his hand from the steering wheel for a few seconds and used the back of his arm to wipe his eyes. “Sorry about that.” He apologised quietly.

“No… you have nothing to be sorry for.” It made me feel bad. Will had just spilled his heart out to me and all I could say was “are you okay.” He was obviously expecting something bigger; a declaration, an argument, a fight. Anything other than that lousy question. I tried to rack my brain for something to say, anything, but it was no use. My emotions were everywhere. I couldn’t think straight and I could barely keep my eyes open.

“Will?”

“Yeah?” He looked over to me, concern shining in his eyes.

“I just don’t want to get hurt again. I don’t think I could take anymore. Everyone who I’ve got close has left me; my mum, my dad, my friends.”

“I promise I’ll never hurt you.” He said firmly. I almost believed him.

“I’m tired.” I said finally.

A smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. “Go to sleep then, darling.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright? I mean its dark and it’s late. We could pull over…”

“Gabriella, I’m fine. Just go to sleep. Sweet dreams.” I rearranged my seat belt so it wasn’t digging into my stomach and tried to get comfy. The gentle hum of the engine and the feeling of motion was enough to make me fall on the brink of unconsciousness. I now knew why babies where so fond of those swinging cots.

“Will?” I said. He raised his eyebrows a fraction to show he was listening. I cleared my throat:

“And if a double-decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.” I watched as his face rearranged itself into a smile and a soft chuckle escaped his lips.

“Go to sleep, Gabriella.” He told me firmly. I smiled and automatically shut my eyes.

“Will?” I mumbled groggily, not opening my eyes. I was surprised he heard me.

“What Gabriella?” He sighed.

“That was my way of saying I love you too.”