Someone Out There Loves You

Tick... Tock... Tick... Tock.

How come every noise sounds like a hammer being smashed against your head when you’re hung over? The empty wine bottle lay next to me and the awkward position I had slept in had left me stiff. This was the second time I had passed out on the floor.

I slowly peeled myself off the grimy floor feeling every muscle in my body ache. My stomach roared as a reminder that I hadn’t had a meal in three days now. I crawled my way into the bathroom cringing at my reflection. Those black circles under my eyes weren’t due to not washing my face properly. I sighed and jumped into the disgusting shower letting the water run a degree too hot. I’ve always liked the feeling of the water scorching my skin. It made me feel alive.

My fresh cut stung as soap suds swam over it. It was at the stage where it was red, sore and trying to heal over. I still couldn’t believe what I had done. They always said I’d go mad. Just like her.

I came out the shower slightly pink which was a change from my pale complexion. My dark hair hung limply around my shoulders where little droplets of water run down before falling to the floor to be absorbed in the off coloured carpet. I wrapped a towel around my skinny frame and dug some fresh clothes out my suitcase. I still hadn’t unpacked.

Fifteen minutes later I was fully clothed and raring to go. Go where? I didn’t know anyone. I couldn’t phone some one up and ask if they fancied going shopping. I had no girlfriends. I had no boyfriends. I snorted at my last though. Who would want to date me?

A walk. A walk seemed good right now. Clear my head a little. I left my flat and began down the long road. Past the cafe where I had the “pleasure” of meeting Will and his charming friend. Past the doorstep where the homeless man had made his home. He wasn’t there today. I spent a moment wondering where he was. Maybe he is like a defenceless animal; forever moving around to protect himself against prey.

I entered a pub. It seemed like a good idea at the time and it looked so inviting with its big wooden doors and golden glow coming through the windows.

“Yes miss?” I didn’t realise the bartender was speaking to me so it startled me a little.

“Can I just have water please?” I croaked blushing. Why do they always have to be good looking? The bartender was tall with light blonde hair and light blue eyes to match.

“Sure. I’m Matt.” He said holding out his hand. The last person to shake my hand was Will. Will. How could I describe him? I mean I’ve spoke to him once but already I liked him. Was this weird? I thought of him when I was slowly loosing my sense drinking the wine. I wondered what he was doing. I wondered how he could be so happy all the time. I thought of his words. “See you around?” What did that actually mean? Did it mean he wanted to see me or was it just a saying? Did he have a girlfriend?

“Sorry,” I mumbled shaking my head. I seemed to have zoned out. I squeezed his hand quickly before letting go. Matt smiled and handed me my water which I swallowed gratefully.

“I haven’t seen you around here.” He stated wiping the sides.

“Yeah, I just moved here.” I admitted. Matt grinned.

“How you finding it?” He asked kindly.

“Well, I haven’t gotten out much since I came here. I met some, erm, interesting people yesterday.” I replied sipping my drink.

Matt looked deep in thought for a moment then spoke. “Why don’t you come to my friend’s party tonight?” I was about to open my mouth to refuse when he spoke again. “Come on! It will be fun. You can meet all sorts of new people there and there is free alcohol which is always a plus.” He finished off with a throaty laugh.

Free alcohol? Hmm, this sounds like a good idea to me. Besides if I spent one more night getting drunk by myself I might literally go crazy. Why go solo when you can get hammered with other people. “Count me in.” I sighed.

Nine o’clock. That was what the clock said. Matt said the party started at eight. So why was I still at home? Because I was a coward, that’s why. I was having a mini debate with, myself whether I should go or not. I was dressed. I had black jeans on with a tight long sleeved top so no one could see what I had done to myself. My hair was straightened out and I had the tiniest bit of eyeliner on ever. It was not too casual but not too trashy. Oh screw it. I could just go there, load myself up with booze then leave.

The house was huge! People where spilling out into the front yard because it was so packed. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. I was already turning to leave before I had even got to the front door but something stopped me. A waft of alcohol floated past me into my nostrils. It smelt so good.

Before I knew it, I was pushing past groups of people to find the table where all the booze was kept. I had never been to a party before. What was I suppose to do?

“Gabriella!” The familiar voice echoed through me and I turned to see Matt; his hair messed up and his eyes glowing. In his hand he was clutching a bottle of the strong stuff.

“Hey Matt.” I mumbled smiling weakly.

“You were looking for a drink?” He grinned. “Here have some of this. You will like it, I promise.” He said pushing his bottle into my face. I thanked him and sipped some of his drink gingerly. It stung my throat a little and I realised it was a lot stronger then what I usually drink.

“Thanks” I smiled again. I felt better now.

“Dance with me.” He ordered rather than asked.

“I don’t think so.” I smiled.

“Aw please?” He pouted. I sighed.

“Well you better let me have another drink first.” I told him and he grinned. I took two big mouthfuls before wiping my mouth with the back of my sleeve and letting him lead me to the middle of the dance floor.

There were bodies every where. Touching each other and touching me. I felt claustrophobic. Matt pulled me closer to him and instantly placed his hands on my butt.

“Whoa! Erm, keep you hands to your self please.” I told him loudly causing people to look at us.

“What? Every ones doing it though.” He hissed through the side of his mouth. I looked around. It was true. Every one had there hands all over someone else.

“Fine.” I muttered. Was I weak for giving up so easily? It all happened so fast after that. Before I knew it, I was getting pushed into a corner and Matt was planting ferocious kisses on my neck. But I didn’t stop him. I didn’t want too. I felt wanted for the first time in so long. That’s all I wanted. I wanted some one to want me. I wanted someone to enjoy my company. And obviously Matt was by the way he was holding me tightly.

Without warning, he planted a wet slobbery kiss on my lips. My first kiss. Another and another he placed on my mouth. I slowly felt my legs give way beneath me. Matt was the only thing holding me up. I tried to push him away. To tell him to stop. That I wasn’t enjoying this anymore but no sound came out my mouth.

All I could do was cry. Fat, hot tears fell down my cheeks before disappearing. I could still hear the party going on around me. Everyone was having fun except me. I just wanted to go home. Suddenly Matt let go of me and I fell to the ground in a sobbing mess.

“Gabriella?” The voice was so familiar.

“W-Will?” I croaked. Great. That was the last thing I needed. For him to see me in this state.

“Gabriella, are you alright?” I looked up and realised Matt was long gone but other people were staring at me now.

“I need to go home.” I said to no one in particular and I tried to haul my self up.

“Do you want me to walk you home?” His green eyes were shining with so much concern. Why?

“I’m fine.” I told him firmly now on my feet. “I just want to go home now.”