Someone Out There Loves You

It was late. I had just got back from a friends house- back when I still had friends. I hadn’t eaten yet so I warmed up a pizza and sat watching some corny soap opera’s on the TV. Suddenly I heard a door slam followed by a gust of cold wind. Curiosity got the better of me, so I placed my plate down and went to investigate. The back door was wide open and a draught was coming through the house. I immediately felt goose bumps pop up on my arms and I wrapped them around my body to keep warm. I peered out into the garden to see a familiar figure. “Mum?” I yelled. She didn’t turn around. Instead she started muttering to herself. “Mum?” I shouted again, stepping out into the cool night air. Her hands were gripping onto her body and she looked scared. “Come inside mum.” I calmly ordered. She shook her head.

“Voices... The voices.” She kept on repeating. Her eyes were glazed over not really focusing on anything.

“That’s just from the T.V.” I tried to reason with her. I reached out to grab her arm, hoping to gently haul her inside when her own arm flew back and struck me across the face.

She remained still for a few moments before her beautiful eyes filled up with tears and her arms wrapped around my shaking body. “Gabriella, I’m so sorry.” She cried. Her wet face was making mine wet and her grip was getting tighter. I could hardly breathe. The world was getting blurry. She was squeezing the air out of me. Squeezing the life out of me. Killing me...
***
I woke up gasping for air and covered in sweat. Stupid nightmares. I realised my face felt damp and I gingerly touched my eyes only to find they were the source. I fiercely scrubbed my face with the back of my sleeve and attempted to pull my self off the floor.

Its kinder funny isn’t it? You spend months burying away your feelings. All the hurt and the pain locked away in a little box deep inside of you. You eventually become numb from the process but you find you like it better that way. If you’re numb, you can’t feel. You don’t experience emotions. Emotions only hurt you. Sure, I have let myself slip a few times over the past weeks but I have always returned to the way I was before.

However, you go to sleep and in your unconscious state all the memories, all the bad things, all the pain is relived again and you have absolutely no control over it. All your emotions come attacking your poor defenceless state to the point where you are physically shaking when you try to poor yourself a cup of water to calm yourself down.

I found myself tearing at my skin. I wanted to rip my body open so maybe the emotional hurt would go away and be replaced by physical hurt. Why did this have to happen? I didn’t want it to happen. I didn’t want to remember. When I finally thought my life had gotten just a little bit good. I was so happy with Will yesterday.

Will...

Before I knew what I was doing, I had dressed myself and found myself standing outside Will’s front door. What the hell was I thinking? I need to go home right now. It was still early and surely Will wouldn’t want to see me again. He was bound to get sick of me soon and that was the last thing I wanted. But of course I proved to myself that my mind had no control over my body as I found myself reaching out and pressing his doorbell. He’s going to be so mad...

Before I could make a run for it, the door swung open and revealed a sleepy looking Will in his pyjamas. “Gabriella?” He stated surprised.

“Bad time?” I asked guiltily.

“No, no, of course not. Come in.” Will replied wiping some sleep out of his eyes. He stepped out of the way so I could enter his home. Straight away I felt the warmness you get in most peoples houses. I’m not talking about the warmth from the radiators. I’m talking about the kind the cosiness you feel, that just makes you want to shrug your jacket off and dive onto the couch. The warmth that made a house a home. My own flat lacked that.

“What brings you here?” He asked, taking my coat. I noticed his hair was all stuck up and it made him look like a little boy.

I shrugged. “I just needed to get out of the flat.” Will nodded his head absent minded and lead into his kitchen. I must admit, his kitchen wasn’t the cleanest I had ever seen, but then again, mine wasn’t exactly an advert for bacteria killing bleach. Sat at the breakfast bar was a young boy about my age. I realised this must be Wills brother.

“Gabriella, this is Luke, my brother. Luke, this is Gabriella.” Will confirmed.

Luke lifted his blonde head and mumbled a “Hi,” causing the mouth full of cereal he was just chewing to fall out of his mouth and onto the table.

Will cringed. “Such a gentleman.” He remarked and I giggled. Oh God, I giggled. Such a girly, young, immature thing to do. I can’t remember the last time I did that. “I’m gonna go get changed right now because I’m stood in my underwear and a t-shirt and I’m sure you’re not appreciating the view.” Will joked.

“Yes, please do.” Luke begged receiving the middle finger from will. Sibling arguments make me laugh.

“Yeah, so you can go and wait in the front room in you want. Excuse the mess, we kinder had a horror movie marathon last night.” Will explained, gesturing to a door. I nodded and headed into the room he pointed to. He was right about the mess. There were DVD cases thrown every where and blankets and cushions covered the couches. I gingerly moved a cushion and sat on the edge of the couch. What do I do now? I could hear Will and Luke bickering in the kitchen over something. I had never felt more awkward in my life. This was definitely a bad idea. Should I switch the TV on? The remote lay next to me as if taunting me. I felt too cheeky though. This wasn’t my house so I shouldn’t act like it is.

Suddenly the door burst open and Luke walked in. He grinned at me before using the remote to switch the TV on and select a channel. He took a seat next to me on the couch.

“So you and my brother, eh?” Luke winked.

“Excuse me?” I spluttered. He chuckled as he finally settled on a channel.

“He has the world’s biggest crush on you.” He admitted. I felt myself blush bright red. Luke rolled his eyes. “Well, he hasn’t actually said that. He never stops talking about you though.”

“All good things I hope?” I asked still tinged slightly pink.

“Of course! You’re my age right?”

“I’m eighteen.” I told him.

“Yeah, same age. I thought he was trying to set me up with you at first then I realised he is just totally smitten. What do you think of Will?” Luke questioned excitedly.

“Erm, well I don’t really know him that well.” I explained.

“Wait you’re the girl from the party right? The one who ran away crying?” He stated.

“Yeah, that was me.” I mumbled embarrassed. Luke whistled.

“You must mean something to Will. That way he dragged the guy off of you was amazing. I mean, he’s usually a right wimp. He got stung by a bee last year and he cried! It was so funny, you should have been there.” He admitted enthusiastically.

“What are you guys talking about?” Speak of the devil. Will appeared looking clean and washed and holding a plate of golden toast. My stomach growled at the mouth watering smell. “I didn’t know if you had eaten breakfast.” He explained offering a slice to me which I gratefully took.

“I was telling Gabriella all of your secrets.” Luke teased reaching to grab a slice himself making Will slap his hand away.

“You’ve already eaten, Pig!” Will replied.

“So? I’m a growing boy. Mum will go mad if she gets back and finds me dying from starvation.”

“Well that’s not going to happen is it?” Will told him. “Look, this is for me and Gabriella.”

“I don’t mind sharing.” I shrugged laughing.

“See, at least someone likes me.” Luke grinned triumphantly and taking a piece of toast.

“Luke Harold Chester.” Will muttered shaking his head.

“William John Chester.” Luke mocked through a mouthful of food.

“Please eat with your mouth closed. There are ladies in the room.” Will sighed shaking his head. “And turn this crap off. I’m sure Gabriella doesn’t want to watch this.”

“Are you kidding? This episode of ‘My Super sweet Sixteen’ is the best.” Luke replied.

“You’re such a girl.” Will retorted reaching over me to grab the remote but failing. If you saw both of these boys in the street, you wouldn’t be able to tell they were brothers. Will had dark hair and the most amazing green eyes. Luke was much better looking with blonde hair and a thin, muscular build. I could tell he was a hit with the girls. The only similarity between the two brothers’s was the colour of their eyes although Luke’s were a duller green.

“Gabriella?” I released someone had said my name and I switched my attention back to the boys. “What do you want to watch?” Will asked.

“My Super Sweet Sixteen sound’s good to me.” I shrugged. Luke punched the air with a triumphant “Yes!” and Will mock gasped, whispering the word “traitor.”

And that is how the rest of the day went. Me sat between the two brothers whilst they argued about petty things and tried to make me take sides. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much. I knew it wasn’t going to last though.