Status: Active
Are You Happy?
Renegade
Thankfully, nothing had progressed with Ashton and I since his admission the other day. He kept up flirting and just being generally sweet towards me. Nothing to differentiate if he actually liked me or if he was just a natural flirt. I was starting to think it was the latter, though I'd be lying if I said I hadn't considered the other possibility. I could definitely see myself with someone like him. Or him, for that matter, if the timing was better. He was attractive and masculine, considerate, charming. It'd be so easy for me to develop feelings for him, but I couldn't let that happen. I wouldn't, not until everything else fell into place. Maybe by then, he'd have moved on anyway and I wouldn't have to worry about it. Did I want that?
"Are you busy tonight?" He asked as soon as I answered the call. My parents would be back tomorrow night, and I was grateful for any invitation he was about to extend on my last night of freedom.
"No, why?"
"I have an… uh, event that I think you'll like," he said with a chuckle.
"Sounds ominous."
"Great, I'll pick you at midnight. Wear black." He hung up the phone, not offering any further clarification on what was happening. Although confused, I was kind of excited for this mystery night. I did as told and was outside, in black, at midnight when Ashton pulled up. He drove for about fifteen minutes and parked outside of a small, two-story house.
"This is the event?" I asked and he laughed.
"No, this is my apartment. We have to walk from here," he explained, grabbing a backpack out of his trunk before leading me around back and into the small patch of woods behind his house.
"Is this where you murder me?" I asked with a small smirk just before reaching the end of the trail.
"Maybe," he laughed, "No, it's right in there." He pointed to the abandoned factory building right in front of us.
We walked in the open door closest to us and I was hit with the overwhelming smell of spray paint. There were about 10 other people in there working on different areas. I was still a bit confused about this whole thing but I wandered around in awe of these beautiful murals. I eventually made my way back to where Ashton was standing and I noticed him watching me.
"What?"
"Nothing," he said, turning his smile into a smirk. He dropped the backpack on the ground and opened it.
"Ooh, are you gonna paint something?" I asked him excitedly once I saw all the cans inside.
"No. You are."
"What? No, I don’t know how."
"I've seen your paintings on your desk, you definitely know how," he said, touching my hand in reassurance. "Give it a try, there's an empty space over there."
I made him help me and after a couple of hours we had a gigantic octopus painted on a multi-colored background. It was as detailed or perfect as I would have liked it to be, but it was pretty good, considering the medium. We were almost done, just finishing up the suckers on it's tentacles, when I saw flashing lights reflecting in the window above.
"Um, Ashton?" I said, pointing to where the red and blue was creeping in.
"Shit, let's go!" He yelled to others before grabbing my hand and pulling me outside. We ran back though the woods and to his house. He quickly unlocked the door to his first floor apartment and pulling me in.
Once we were safe and caught our breath from the run, we both started laughing uncontrollably. He walked closer to me and I wrapped my arms behind his head. "That was fun."
"I told you you'd like it," he smirked. I suddenly realized how close we were. I thought about kissing him. I wondered what it would be like. His lips looked soft and he had a bit of stubble. For some reason I found myself wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to but when he leaned in a little bit, I chickened out. I let go of him and his hands dropped from my waist.
"Do you want to stay for a bit or do you want me to bring you home?"
"Do you want me to stay?" I asked awkwardly. I felt stupid for asking that question. I knew I should go home. My brain kept telling me to go home, but my heart said stay. The longing I felt for his lips on mine a minute ago could only mean one thing. I started falling. Trying to push my feelings down had apparently been no use, especially after tonight's 'event'. He was just so easy to be around and we had a lot of fun. I had no idea of his feelings though. It was almost three in the morning and he was probably tired.
"Yeah, I want you to stay," he said, a genuine smile forming on his face.
He ordered a pizza from the only place still open for delivery at this hour and gave me a tour of his apartment while we waited. We sat together on the couch, eating pizza and talking while a movie played quietly in the background.
"You're tired, I should go," I said when he started yawning. I was so caught up in our conversation that I'd forgotten about the time and I felt bad for keeping him up.
"I'm fine, do you really want to go?" he asked.
I bit my lip and shook my head. No, I didn't want to go. I wanted more time with him, here, in this moment. "I don't want to keep you up, you need to rest."
He just smirked at my concern for him and laid down on the couch, pulling me down with him. My heart lept into my throat, unsure of what was happening as he pulled me close. He was lying on the edge and I was between the back of the couch and him. "This counts as resting," he smirked, before turning his head to watch the tv. I laid my head on his shoulder, turning my attention to the tv too, and hoped he couldn't hear my nervous heartbeat. I could hear his in my ear and it was surprisingly calming. Watching whatever show was playing, and feeling his hand occasionally brushing over my back, all I could think about was wanting to kiss him. We'd gotten close over the last few months and I knew I should keep it there. Just friends. I blame it on the fumes and lack of sleep, but suddenly I wanted more. I knew I shouldn't, I knew it was a bad idea, but the damn butterflies wouldn't die down. Apart from what he had told me over coffee a few days ago, I had no indication if he felt the same. I mean, we were kind of cuddling now and he initiated that. But did he want me too? I was fairly certain Ashton was asleep by now and I fought it off for as long as I could, but I felt my eyelids getting heavy.
"Are you busy tonight?" He asked as soon as I answered the call. My parents would be back tomorrow night, and I was grateful for any invitation he was about to extend on my last night of freedom.
"No, why?"
"I have an… uh, event that I think you'll like," he said with a chuckle.
"Sounds ominous."
"Great, I'll pick you at midnight. Wear black." He hung up the phone, not offering any further clarification on what was happening. Although confused, I was kind of excited for this mystery night. I did as told and was outside, in black, at midnight when Ashton pulled up. He drove for about fifteen minutes and parked outside of a small, two-story house.
"This is the event?" I asked and he laughed.
"No, this is my apartment. We have to walk from here," he explained, grabbing a backpack out of his trunk before leading me around back and into the small patch of woods behind his house.
"Is this where you murder me?" I asked with a small smirk just before reaching the end of the trail.
"Maybe," he laughed, "No, it's right in there." He pointed to the abandoned factory building right in front of us.
We walked in the open door closest to us and I was hit with the overwhelming smell of spray paint. There were about 10 other people in there working on different areas. I was still a bit confused about this whole thing but I wandered around in awe of these beautiful murals. I eventually made my way back to where Ashton was standing and I noticed him watching me.
"What?"
"Nothing," he said, turning his smile into a smirk. He dropped the backpack on the ground and opened it.
"Ooh, are you gonna paint something?" I asked him excitedly once I saw all the cans inside.
"No. You are."
"What? No, I don’t know how."
"I've seen your paintings on your desk, you definitely know how," he said, touching my hand in reassurance. "Give it a try, there's an empty space over there."
I made him help me and after a couple of hours we had a gigantic octopus painted on a multi-colored background. It was as detailed or perfect as I would have liked it to be, but it was pretty good, considering the medium. We were almost done, just finishing up the suckers on it's tentacles, when I saw flashing lights reflecting in the window above.
"Um, Ashton?" I said, pointing to where the red and blue was creeping in.
"Shit, let's go!" He yelled to others before grabbing my hand and pulling me outside. We ran back though the woods and to his house. He quickly unlocked the door to his first floor apartment and pulling me in.
Once we were safe and caught our breath from the run, we both started laughing uncontrollably. He walked closer to me and I wrapped my arms behind his head. "That was fun."
"I told you you'd like it," he smirked. I suddenly realized how close we were. I thought about kissing him. I wondered what it would be like. His lips looked soft and he had a bit of stubble. For some reason I found myself wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to but when he leaned in a little bit, I chickened out. I let go of him and his hands dropped from my waist.
"Do you want to stay for a bit or do you want me to bring you home?"
"Do you want me to stay?" I asked awkwardly. I felt stupid for asking that question. I knew I should go home. My brain kept telling me to go home, but my heart said stay. The longing I felt for his lips on mine a minute ago could only mean one thing. I started falling. Trying to push my feelings down had apparently been no use, especially after tonight's 'event'. He was just so easy to be around and we had a lot of fun. I had no idea of his feelings though. It was almost three in the morning and he was probably tired.
"Yeah, I want you to stay," he said, a genuine smile forming on his face.
He ordered a pizza from the only place still open for delivery at this hour and gave me a tour of his apartment while we waited. We sat together on the couch, eating pizza and talking while a movie played quietly in the background.
"You're tired, I should go," I said when he started yawning. I was so caught up in our conversation that I'd forgotten about the time and I felt bad for keeping him up.
"I'm fine, do you really want to go?" he asked.
I bit my lip and shook my head. No, I didn't want to go. I wanted more time with him, here, in this moment. "I don't want to keep you up, you need to rest."
He just smirked at my concern for him and laid down on the couch, pulling me down with him. My heart lept into my throat, unsure of what was happening as he pulled me close. He was lying on the edge and I was between the back of the couch and him. "This counts as resting," he smirked, before turning his head to watch the tv. I laid my head on his shoulder, turning my attention to the tv too, and hoped he couldn't hear my nervous heartbeat. I could hear his in my ear and it was surprisingly calming. Watching whatever show was playing, and feeling his hand occasionally brushing over my back, all I could think about was wanting to kiss him. We'd gotten close over the last few months and I knew I should keep it there. Just friends. I blame it on the fumes and lack of sleep, but suddenly I wanted more. I knew I shouldn't, I knew it was a bad idea, but the damn butterflies wouldn't die down. Apart from what he had told me over coffee a few days ago, I had no indication if he felt the same. I mean, we were kind of cuddling now and he initiated that. But did he want me too? I was fairly certain Ashton was asleep by now and I fought it off for as long as I could, but I felt my eyelids getting heavy.