Status: Active
Are You Happy?
Let Down
"Who was that?" Mom asked when I came back inside.
"Oh, just a friend. He found my phone and was just dropping it off," I told her, trying to keep the pink off my cheeks. I was not about to admit I'd slept on his couch last night and he found it wedged in the cushions.
"Which friend? You should have invited her in for dinner." I'd already invited Ashton over to hang out tomorrow. As much as I didn't want to subject him to my mother, it was inevitable. Ashton was who I ran off with after work most days, who I spent the majority of my free time with, I couldn't keep him a secret forever.
"You don't know him," I said quickly but her eyes pressed for more. "Emily's brother."
"How do you know I don't know him? I was friends with her mother. Does Jason know him too?" I never could quite gauge where my mom was going with things. We were not a close-knit family, but she always wanted to know what was going on in my life. I didn't have a chance to tell her that Jason and I had broken up earlier and now I debated on telling her at all. Ashton wore a leather jacket and ripped jeans most days, giving off the bad-boy vibe even though he was nothing of the sort. She wouldn't like him. Mom loved Jason, he and I had known each other since fourth grade. His parents attended all the charity events that mine threw, he came from money, and he was headed to Harvard.
"Mom, about Jason…"
I explained the whole thing, leaving Ashton out of it as much as possible. She kept pressing for more information and I tried to give her as few details as humanly possible. She suspected the boy at the door, I could tell in her face and the way she kept glancing past me at it, but she dropped it. I didn't need her approval for friends and that's all the two of us were. That, and she knew it wouldn't change my mind. I got my stubbornness from her, after all. Nothing she could say to me about Jason would make me kick Ashton out of my life, whether she liked him or not. I'd spent more time with him in the short time we've known each other than I've spent with her in the last year.
I'd never anticipated we'd see each other more often than once or twice to talk about Emily, but we'd become really close. I couldn't get the other night to stop replaying in my head. Standing in his doorway with my arms around him and his hands on my waist. It was one of the few times in my life that I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, and yet I'd pulled away from him. He'd had the opportunity to make a move and didn't take it, which could only mean he thought of me as nothing more than a close friend. I'd come to terms with the fact that I felt more for him than friendship, but I wasn't sure how deep those feelings went yet. With his clear aversion to kissing me, I hoped I'd be able to leave my heart behind, especially with my mom on the hunt for the mysterious boy at the door.
I rushed home after work the next day to shower and change before Ashton came over. My stomach was in knots, nervous for him to meet my mother. She was judgmental and hard-headed. She'd hate him, I was sure of it. I shouldn't have let it bother me but it did. Her opinion of him wasn't my problem, her opinion of me was. If I'd 'chosen' wrong she wouldn't let it go. She'd tell me how disappointed she was that I obviously had much stronger feelings for this rag-tag boy than he had for me. I couldn't let her down again.
"Oh, just a friend. He found my phone and was just dropping it off," I told her, trying to keep the pink off my cheeks. I was not about to admit I'd slept on his couch last night and he found it wedged in the cushions.
"Which friend? You should have invited her in for dinner." I'd already invited Ashton over to hang out tomorrow. As much as I didn't want to subject him to my mother, it was inevitable. Ashton was who I ran off with after work most days, who I spent the majority of my free time with, I couldn't keep him a secret forever.
"You don't know him," I said quickly but her eyes pressed for more. "Emily's brother."
"How do you know I don't know him? I was friends with her mother. Does Jason know him too?" I never could quite gauge where my mom was going with things. We were not a close-knit family, but she always wanted to know what was going on in my life. I didn't have a chance to tell her that Jason and I had broken up earlier and now I debated on telling her at all. Ashton wore a leather jacket and ripped jeans most days, giving off the bad-boy vibe even though he was nothing of the sort. She wouldn't like him. Mom loved Jason, he and I had known each other since fourth grade. His parents attended all the charity events that mine threw, he came from money, and he was headed to Harvard.
"Mom, about Jason…"
I explained the whole thing, leaving Ashton out of it as much as possible. She kept pressing for more information and I tried to give her as few details as humanly possible. She suspected the boy at the door, I could tell in her face and the way she kept glancing past me at it, but she dropped it. I didn't need her approval for friends and that's all the two of us were. That, and she knew it wouldn't change my mind. I got my stubbornness from her, after all. Nothing she could say to me about Jason would make me kick Ashton out of my life, whether she liked him or not. I'd spent more time with him in the short time we've known each other than I've spent with her in the last year.
I'd never anticipated we'd see each other more often than once or twice to talk about Emily, but we'd become really close. I couldn't get the other night to stop replaying in my head. Standing in his doorway with my arms around him and his hands on my waist. It was one of the few times in my life that I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, and yet I'd pulled away from him. He'd had the opportunity to make a move and didn't take it, which could only mean he thought of me as nothing more than a close friend. I'd come to terms with the fact that I felt more for him than friendship, but I wasn't sure how deep those feelings went yet. With his clear aversion to kissing me, I hoped I'd be able to leave my heart behind, especially with my mom on the hunt for the mysterious boy at the door.
I rushed home after work the next day to shower and change before Ashton came over. My stomach was in knots, nervous for him to meet my mother. She was judgmental and hard-headed. She'd hate him, I was sure of it. I shouldn't have let it bother me but it did. Her opinion of him wasn't my problem, her opinion of me was. If I'd 'chosen' wrong she wouldn't let it go. She'd tell me how disappointed she was that I obviously had much stronger feelings for this rag-tag boy than he had for me. I couldn't let her down again.