Are You Happy?

“I know who you are,” I said, feeling the lump in my throat. I wasn’t mad, I was just completely shocked.

“That took longer than I thought,” he smirked. When I glared at him and didn’t respond, he spoke again. “Do you wanna go somewhere and talk?”

“When do you get off work?”

“I’m not done until 6. I can take a break now,” he replied, sounding hopeful.

“Six is fine. I’ll see you later,” I answered. I didn’t want to have to rush our conversation so he could get back. I started to leave but he touched my arm to stop me.

“Hold on, I don’t have your number.”

“Next time we see each other,” I said, mocking him. The look on his face as I turned to walk out the door was something between confused and proud.

I went home and tried to pass the time. It was only a couple hours but it was taking forever. I had a million thoughts swimming in my head. There was still a while to go so I decided to go work out. Maybe it would calm my nerves. I put on some yoga pants and headed out to the little pool-house-turned-home-gym. Once I was sufficiently sweaty and gross, I hopped off the treadmill and went back to take a shower.

I opened the door to the main house in time to see Levi answering the door. I checked my phone and it was only 5:30.

“You’re early.” I greeted him, still catching my breath.

“I know.” Of course he’d be early. Why wouldn’t he show up when I looked like a wet rat?

"Do you mind if I go take a shower? I didn't think you'd be here yet," I asked awkwardly.

"No, of course. Go ahead," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. Well, this was off to a great start.

“Okay. I'll be quick. Make yourself at home,” I told him, forcing a smile. I grabbed some clothes from my room and took the quickest shower of my life. I threw my wet hair into some French braids and reapplied my mascara before leaving the bathroom.

I found him in my room, looking at a picture of me and Emily on my dresser. My mom took that photo of us, smiling in our pajamas, during one of our sleepovers in 8th grade. His face was soft as he looked at it. That's the face I might have recognized. I'd known Emily for years but had only met him once or twice when we were younger. The last time I saw him was at his sister's funeral. He'd grown up a lot since then. His jaw was more structured and he'd grown out his stubble. He'd gotten rid of his swoopy 'skater boy' hair and was a lot less scrawny. Puberty had definitely treated him well.

“Hey Dollface,” he smirked, putting the frame back down.

"I can't believe you're you. And you're back here," I blurted out, still in disbelief.

"Should I be offended you forgot me?" he chuckled.

"I never saw you," I laughed, "You were always the mysterious older brother, hidden away in his room." He just chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. I took a seat on my bed and he sat backwards in my desk chair to face me. "I thought you moved away with your parents after the accident."

"I did but I like it here. I've been renting a place not too far from here for a couple months now."

"Why didn't you say anything last time you were here? At the party?" I wondered.

"I didn't want to ruin the moment," He told me, with that smirk he always seemed to have. We talked for a long time. He told me all about moving away, and fighting with his mom to come back. We talked about how both our parents made us go to therapy after the accident.We talked about how we started feeling again after everything had been taken away. We talked about how strange is what that we found each other, and how we found each other. He admitted that he didn’t realize I was Emily’s friend until he’d called his mom the morning the party and I felt a lot better about not recognizing him.

"How's your mom?"

"She's doing okay," he sighed, "She still has some rough days. She’s been back a couple of times to visit Emily's grave." I nodded, not knowing what to say.

"What about you? How have you been?" I asked. Even though I had essentially just met him, this felt like an old friendship.

"I've been good, actually. I had a really hard time dealing with it for a while, but I've decided I can't live my life for someone else. I did my grieving and I moved forward,” he answered, “you were just as close to her as I was, how have you been?”

“I’ve been okay,” I told him. He furrowed his eyebrows like he wanted more, but my bedroom door opened.

“Hey... Willow. Levi let me in.” It was Jason, looking a bit confused as to who the guy in my bedroom was.

“Hey. Ashton, this is Jason. Jason, Ashton, Emily’s brother,” I said, getting the introductions out of the way. Jason looked relieved and the two of them shook hands.

“I should probably go,” Ashton said. Before he stood, I saw him scribble something on one of the papers near him.

“What’s going on with that guy?” Jason asked once he was gone.

“Nothing, we were just talking about Emily,” I rolled my eyes. He didn’t sound jealous or overbearing when he asked, just generally curious, but for some reason the fact that he even asked annoyed me. He hung around for a while, lounging across the bottom of my bed watching something on the TV. I was too lost in my head to pay attention. I'd been with Jason forever but I’ve been craving something else. He was always so safe, but safe isn't any fun. I thought a lot about what Ashton said. Do your grieving and move forward. My life had been frozen in place for a while, maybe it was time to break free.

Jason finally left once it started to get late. I had just climbed into bed around 11:30 when I remembered the scribble on my desk.

Since you didn’t give me yours, 204-xxx-xxxx
-Ash

It made me smile. It was nice to have a friend that understood firsthand what happened. I took the paper back to my bed and saved his number in my phone before sending him a message. You could have just asked for it -Willow

I wasn’t expecting a response at least until morning but I got a text back within a few minutes. We ended up talking for quite a while before I fell asleep on him.

Ashton: I don’t think Jason would have liked that.
Willow: He’d be fine.
Ashton: Anyway, I hope seeing me today didn’t bring up any bad memories.
Willow: No, I think it’s good to talk about her. I don’t really have anyone to do that with.
Ashton: We should do it again sometime.
Willow: yeah, we should. You staying in town for a while?
Ashton: I plan on it
Willow: Good

I hadn't expected an answer till morning, but he'd responded within a few minutes. We ended up talking for quite a while before I fell asleep on him. I woke up to another message, Goodnight, Dollface. I chuckled that he was still calling me that and rushed to get ready for work. We had been texting for hours last night and I didn’t fall asleep until almost 4.

I only saw Jason for a few minutes when we were both clocking in. He told me he was stocking today and I breathed a sigh of relief. I was tired and didn’t want to hang out with him at the register today. A few hours into my shift and I couldn’t stop yawning. I definitely needed a nap. When it was time to clock out, I practically ran out the door, avoiding Jason at all costs.

I climbed into my bed, too tired to shower, and knocked out. I didn’t wake up until it was almost dinner time. I went into the kitchen to see Levi just hanging up the phone.

“I just ordered Chinese food. I got you your usual,” he said and I thanked him. “So you’re friends with the guy from the party?”

“Yeah, I actually found out he’s Emily’s brother. I didn’t even recognize him,” I answered honestly.

“He seems like decent guy. What does Jason think about it?”

“Um, I don’t know. We don’t really talk about stuff like that anymore.” We talked for a while and joked around until the food came. I hadn’t seen too much of Levi this summer so some bonding was definitely needed. We played a racing game together on the Xbox while we ate, until I was eventually distracted by my phone.

Ashton: Coffee tomorrow?
Willow: I have to work at two
Ashton: I can drop you off after if you’d like
Willow: Sounds good