Status: Complete

Risk It All

You

The sound of glass shattering against the wall echoed in Nolee's ears. Her heart raced in panic as she knew this night would be bad like the previous ones. They were always bad when he spent the day out and a deal had gone bad. She remained still in the corner of the kitchen but her hands trembled, she was doing her best to stay out of his way. Maybe, just maybe if she remained still he would leave her alone tonight.

'Please God let him leave me alone.' Nolee begged as the secret she kept deep inside was at the forefront of her mind. The hope she felt was quickly killed as he angrily shouted her name. Unsure of what she did wrong to make him mad again, but did the reason matter anymore when the littlest of things had upset him lately. Nolee struggled to deal with the new life that had taken her prisoner. The new life that sent all her dreams crashing down. Her eyes fixed on Tristan and her hands trembled even further. The man in front of her was not the man she met five years ago. His once caring brown eyes had dulled into a dark brooding storm. The tenderness in hands that once held her so sweetly was now the cause of her pain. His mind was warping into a monster all because of this life he choose, inevitably dragging her down with him.

"You stupid bitch! You can never do anything right!" he shouted before Nolee felt the stinging sensation of the back of his hand colliding against her cheek. She gasped as tears filled her eyes and her hand immediately cradled the assaulted area. The slaps had become routine to her, but the physical aspect didn't get easier. Nolee didn't know any better, she never knew life shouldn't be this way. Tristan snarled and gripped both of her arms harshly.

"Why do you love to purposely piss me off Nolee? Why do you make me do this?"

"Tristan please stop, you're hurting me." she pleaded attempting to break free from his grasp, knowing it was futile.

"I wouldn't have to hurt you if you just fucking listened!" he retorted and shoved her to the ground. Nolee whimpered as she fell on her side. The cold feel of the hard-wood floor and the pain in her side sent a moment of realization to her mind as she looked up into his cold eyes.

This was it, this couldn't continue.

"When will you fucking learn?" was all he said to her before he lifted his leg to her stomach while she screamed...


__

Nolee gasped as she sat upright drenched in sweat. Her heart pounded and her hand tightly clenched the knife in her hand prepared to attack. Her eyes scanned around the room and it took her a moment to realize it was a dream. The same dream that haunted her every night, a reminder of what she had left behind. Nolee sighed deeply to calm her racing heart before slowly tucking the knife back under her pillow. The sunlight seeped heavily into her window and she sighed again, staring at the clock at her nightstand. She had woken up only ten minutes before the alarm would go off.
I’m
"It was just a dream, you're okay." Nolee whispered to herself as she ran a hand through her hair. She swiftly pulled the cover to side of the bed and hoisted herself down to get ready for the day. She walked over to the bathroom and turned on the faucet, splashing cold water onto her flushed face. It had become her new routine it seemed. She rolled her eyes as she washed her face before brushing her hair. She studied her reflection in the mirror and inhaled a deep breath. She didn't recognize the girl staring back at her. Her hair was shorter and she was noticeably skinnier than she used to be. Her charming brown eyes had dimmed. A girl that was once outspoken and bold had retreated inside herself. She stared down at her stomach and lightly ran a hand down the tiny bump. Buried deep down there was still a girl who wanted to live, the tiny bump was proof of that.

She sighed once more before walking over to her dresser and sliding on her undergarments followed by black leggings and her favorite long black tunic.

'At least I don't have to dress up too much.' Nolee thought to herself at the easy dress code of her job. Sure the job wasn't the greatest, but at least she could dress how she wanted. She reached for the long silver necklace that rested on the nightstand, feeling her stomach knot slightly at the heart shaped locket each time she put it on. She swiftly secured it around her neck and grabbed her purse and coat off the chair. Hurriedly locking her front door to the apartment she walked down the long very old and rundown hallway. Immediately she was greeted by the sound of sirens and people yelling. South Boston was a far cry from warm Arizona that's for sure. The loud city had been hard to navigate for Nolee the first couple months but she was starting to get it down. She sighed as she began her journey to work, her eyes wandering around the many buildings and people passing by. It strangely fascinated her the many different lives people led.

"Hey man fuck you! Leave me alone alright!" a man shouted although there was no one by him. Nolee frowned at the obvious bad mental state of the rugged man definitely caused by drugs. Her next encounter was a man pleading to who appeared to be his girlfriend as she cursed at him and threw his belongings out the window. It was nothing out of the ordinary from South Boston, the least attractive part of town but unfortunately the cheapest. The dirty appearance of the town and people was off putting and often scared away the upper class, but Nolee had learned to deal with it. After all it wasn't if she was in a position to be picky. Her apartment was shabby and small, but it was enough.

The only perk she had was the coffee shop was not that far from the apartment. Finding a job had been difficult in itself especially with no vehicle, the subway would eventually become a close friend to Nolee. But just as all hope seemed lost, she came across a little place called Cosmo's. Indeed a small shop, but well known it's for vintage collections and relatively aesthetically pleasing. The customers may have been shitheads sometimes, but Nolee had to admit it did have some charm.

The smell of espresso filled the air and normally the smell was pleasant to her, it was now starting to make her nauseous. Having your senses messed with constantly was a bitch truly.

"Good morning sunshine!" an overly perky Kira greeted her as Nolee cringed once more inside. Kira was naturally a happy upbeat person by nature, and in a way Nolee was envious. Seeing as she was becoming Oscar the grouch more and more these days.

"Morning." Nolee replied tiredly as she set her stuff down underneath the counter.

"I must say Nolee you definitely have that pregnancy glow, I mean you're practically a glow stick." Kira retorted sarcastically as Nolee's eyes widened as she looked around the cafe in a panic.

"Would you shut up please? What if Cosmo hears you!"

"Relax Pregasaurus, Cosmo isn't here yet." Kira reassured as Nolee sighed in relief.

"Thank God."

"Do you really think he'll get upset over you being pregnant? I mean, it is going to be obvious soon enough ya know." Kira responded, her slight Boston accent peeking through.

"I know and I'll deal with that later, but right now I don't want to risk losing my job. I think you know more than anyone how much of a pain in the ass it is to find a job in Boston right now."

"That I do honey, that I do. But don't worry, your secret is safe with me." Kira replied crossing her middle finger over her index.

"Thank you." Nolee responded gratefully.

"Anywho, are you hungry?" Kira asked changing the subject as Nolee shrugged.

"Not really."

"Well too bad, you need to feed that little parasite inside of you. Besides, how can you say no to these?" Kira inquired as she held up a tray of banana nut muffins. Nolee drooled at the sight of the small steam still rising from them, her appetite suddenly coming alive.

"Is there chocolate chips in them?" Nolee answered childishly.

"You betcha." Kira nodded in satisfaction as a smile spread across Nolee's face. She happily took a muffin and began picking at it, moaning at the soft and sweet taste.

"I know, I'm amazing." Kira sighed dramatically flipping her long black hair over shoulder.

"Thank you." Nolee smiled appreciatively. Boston had not been the most welcoming, but Kira had been a safe haven. She took Nolee under her wing almost immediately when she began working at Cosmo's. Despite being polar opposites, she and Kira had seemed to mesh together. Kira was a free spirit. An attractive girl no doubt with her tall model-esque tanned physique and appearance, she radiated confidence. She was annoying sometimes, but Nolee was willing to tolerate it. She was also the first and only person to know about her pregnancy. However she didn't know everything about Nolee's past, it was easier that way.

"So I met this hot guy at Roxy last night." Kira smiled as Nolee rolled her eyes.

"Of course you did."

"I took him back to my place and we did it four times."

"Lovely."

"Then this morning he had the nerve to ask me out to breakfast!"

"And that's a bad thing why?"

"That's too much honey. I don't do the small talk after sex thing, I hit it and quit it."

"Way to sound like a man Kira." Nolee teased as she set up the machines. Kira was also a party girl who knew all about Boston's exclusive events and important people. She was not the committed relationship type of person either, she firmly believed in one night stands. Nolee lost count of the many guys Kira went on about, but Nolee didn't condemn her for it. She was young and hot, why shouldn't be allowed to live how she wants. As long as she was being safe about it, Nolee could care less.

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm so good they can't get enough." Kira replied with a wink as Nolee scoffed.

"You know, maybe you need to get laid too. I know a couple guys who dig pregnant chicks."

"That's disgusting Kira."

"What? It's not like you're diseased, you're just currently an incubator. Pregnant women deserve sex too."

"Please stop talking."

"Who's pregnant?" a voice interrupted and both girls froze in their tracks as Cosmo appeared in their line of vision. Cosmo was a tan overweight man with balding salt and pepper hair. He dressed as if he was still living out his glory days of the 70's complete with a giant gold chain he always wore around his neck. A big fan of all things vintage he dreamed of owning a coffee shop since he was a teen. He was pretty knowledgeable about coffee and often spent his time experimenting with new blends. Some of them weren't always the greatest and being an employee Nolee was deemed the guinea pig. At least she threw up only once during a taste test.

"Umm, Sophia Lang from The Old and the Beautiful. Can you believe it? Don't even know who the father is, such a floozy." Kira rolled her eyes in reference to her favorite soap opera. Cosmo only stared back at Kira in confusion.

"That's fascinating Kira, but if you girls would be so kind to get your asses in gear and start serving customers I'd appreciate it."

"Yes sir." both girls mumbled in unison. Cosmo nodded his head appreciatively before heading to the back.

"Whew, that was close wasn't it?" Kira giggled and sighed while wiping her forehead as Nolee only narrowed her eyes at Kira and inhaled very deeply.

_____

"Oh god." Nolee groaned as the nausea was in full swing by the afternoon. The muffin she had earlier was threatening to come back up. She leaned against the counter and inhaled deep breaths, Kira was handling the front while she tried to compose herself, each day was getting harder and harder. Nolee was afraid of how the next few months were going to go, how would she feel then?
You
"Are you okay?" Kira whispered as she popped her head over.

"I really don't understand how people consider this the most magical time of a woman's life, it's hell." Nolee groaned.

"Whatever you do just don't vomit on the scones yeah?"

"I'll definitely try not to Kira."

"Thanks doll. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it's my lunch time and I need a cig pronto." Kira pointed at the clock nervously. Nolee sighed as she lifted herself up and nodded.

"Okay go, I'll go to the front."

"Are you sure you'll be okay."

"I'll be fine, worst comes to worst I puke on a customer."

"Ooh don't do that until I come back!" Kira whined as Nolee rolled her eyes.

"Go to lunch Kira."

"Okay bye." Kira waved as she took off to back as Nolee shook her head.

'That girl is nuts.' she thought to herself as she walked to the front and began cleaning. Her mind began to wander as she watched the many people rush to their destinations. The hustle and bustle of Boston was so contrast to Sedona. It was times like these her heart began to feel heavy at the thought of her hometown. She missed the heat and the sunshine, she missed her desert skies. Tears began to form in her eyes as she knew she could never go back, Boston was her home now and that's just the way it was.

"Nolee. Nolee? Hello, anyone upstairs?" Cosmo's voice snapped her back into reality as she jumped back slightly to face her annoyed boss.

"Well welcome back," he added sarcastically as she blushed in embarrassment.

"Sorry Cosmo."

"Not sure if you're aware that there's been a customer waiting for the past five minutes while you were in La La Land." he replied pointing over to the register as she frowned.

"You know this wandering off thing is starting to become a bad habit Nolee,"

"You're absolutely right Cosmo, I am sorry. I promise I won't do it anymore. By the way, that tangerine jumpsuit looks fabulous on you, are you working out?" Nolee inquired with fake enthusiasm as Cosmo began to blush and shrug modestly.

"Well I have been switching to diet coke lately, hey wait a second-"

"Got customers!" Nolee shouted behind her as she quickly scampered to the register before Cosmo could continue his scolding.

'Get it together Nolee before he fires you.'

"Sorry for the wait, what can I get you today?" she asked absentmindedly not really caring for the customer currently in front of her.

"Uhh I don't know actually...w'at do ye recommend?" the man replied in a thick Irish accent as Nolee lifted her head up in curiosity. Her eyes scanned the tall man before her and her eyebrow slightly raised. Despite not working here long, she definitely didn't recall such a guy coming into the shop before. There was something peculiar about him, but she couldn't figure out what it was. He was slightly disheveled looking with messy brown hair. He donned a long black pea coat with what appeared to be a rosary around his neck. His dark blue eyes stared up at the menu in confusion as if he never heard of coffee before.

"Umm well the chocolate banana espresso is currently a customer favorite. But if you're feeling a little daring this afternoon, there's spicy taco." Nolee informed him of Cosmo's latest creation with a slight sardonic smile. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion and disgust, a reaction she secretly enjoyed seeing from customers.

"Aye, sounds appetizing. But I'm afraid I'm not very daring today, I'll stick w'it a regular black coffee. Large please." the Irish man responded coolly and Nolee nodded as she punched in the order.

"That'll be 1.50." she informed him as he reached into his pocket of his blue jeans and pulled out two dollar bills.

"So do ye always have such disgustin' flavors of coffee?" Murphy inquired sarcastically as Nolee took the bills and narrowed her eyes at him.

"How dare you, Cosmo Miller is a coffee extraordinaire." she retorted in equal sarcasm making Murphy smirk.

"I didn't mean ta' offend lass." he replied coolly once more smirk still in place while Nolee continued to study him.

"I'll also have you know spicy taco is quite popular. Only three people vomited so far, and only one of those three required hospitalization." she smirked back as she handed him his change.

"W'at a shame. Why exactly is t'at popular in ta' first place?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"People love to torture themselves?" she shrugged simply as she began to pour his coffee.

"Aye, it appears so. Just when I t'ot there was some hope for humanity." Murphy sighed as Nolee only watched him carefully. She put a sleeve protector around the cup and gently slid it across the counter.

"Here's your coffee."

"T'anks lass. Hope ye held ta' vomit."

"No promises."

"I'll send ya my hospital bill." Murphy only winked at her before grabbing his coffee and swiftly exiting the shop, Nolee noticing the tattoo on his neck as he turned. Her eyebrows remained furrowed in indifference.

'What a strange man.'

"Who was that?" Kira's voice suddenly chimed in interrupting Nolee's trance.

"I don't know, new customer I think." she replied with a shrug.

"He's kind of cute."

"He's weird."

"You think every guy is weird." Kira retorted rolling her eyes.

'Because they cannot be trusted.' Nolee only shrugged again in response. Kira tilted her head while her emerald eyes remained fixated on the door.

"Meh, I'd still bang."

"Of course you would Kira, of course you would."

___

The rest of the day ended up going by faster than Nolee thought. Despite having one asshole customer complaining about his coffee (which she was used to by now) the day hadn't been so bad she had to admit, plus Cosmo left her alone for the rest of the day. After doing her closing duties and locking up the shop she bid her goodbyes to Kira and made the journey back home. When she reached her apartment she looked behind her shoulder and shivered. The paranoia had also become a close friend to her. She quickly unlocked her apartment door re-locking it behind her and sighed in relief as she kicked off her flats. Her stomach began to rumble as she slipped off her jacket.

"I guess I'd better feed you." she said to her stomach as she walked to the kitchen and prepared dinner with what limited groceries she had. She'd have to make this month's check stretch a little further than expected. She settled on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before bringing the plate to the couch sighing in exhaustion. She looked around the dingy apartment and the complete silence made her feel uneasy. It was hard to believe that just months ago her life was completely different.

"It's for the best, it's safer here." Nolee reminded herself. Her hand rested upon her stomach and the inevitable fears she tried hard to keep at bay taunted her. Everything had changed, she wasn't just surviving for herself anymore. No matter what, she had to make it work somehow.

"I'm going to figure this out, I don't know how but I'm going to. I promise." she whispered to her stomach and rested her head on the cushion. She closed her eyes and freely let her mind drift again, her thoughts involuntarily wandering to the strange Irish man from earlier today. His dark blue eyes and the rosary around his neck made her feel uneasy. Why was she thinking of him? He was just some random person, she might not even see him again.

She switched to her side and tried to shake the thoughts that stubbornly remained.

Who was he?
♠ ♠ ♠
First story I’ve written in a long time so bare with me and thanks for reading.