Risk It All

"I'm so late!" Nolee begin to panic as she quickly walked up the steps to the high school attempting to beat the bell before it would ring. Spending the majority of her night studying for her chemistry quiz, she accidentally overslept. As she lifted her foot to the last step she was unaware of the banana peel making her foot slide backwards and causing her to trip. A loud squeal escaping her mouth as her books went flying in front her while her hands collided with the cement harshly.

"What the hell!" she cursed as she lifted herself from the cement and soothed her now scratched up hands. Looking at the books in front of her she sighed and shook her head. She was never once to be graceful, clumsiness was her specialty.

"Uhh you need some help there?" a voice suddenly spoke as she quickly lifted her head up. Her eyes widened largely at the boy before her. Almost sure she had never seen him before, his face was captivating. Contoured with beige creamy skin his eyes were like chocolate orbs complete with long lashes. Her heart skipped a beat at the immaculate jawline he had, he could easily be mistaken for a Calvin Klein model. His brown hair was cropped perfectly over his head. He definitely didn't look like the other guys at her high school.

"Hello?" he asked waving his fingers awkwardly but laughing as she realized he caught her staring. Immediately her cheeks red while she attempted to compose herself.

"Oh um, sure." she whispered as he nodded and helped her pick up her books. "Thank you." she added as he handed her the algebra textbook.

"It's no problem." he assured with another smile flashing a set of perfectly straight white teeth. "What an asshole banana peel just attacking you like that." he joked further making her face flushed but managing to elicit a giggle from the small girl.

"Yeah." she answered awkwardly.

"I'm Tristan." he added introducing himself and extending his muscular hand to shake. Nolee hesitated putting her hand in his for a moment, but then softly shook it.

"I'm Nolee."

"I'm new here, today's my first day."

"Oh, where are you from?" she inquired curiously noting her suspicions were correct.

"Nebraska." he answered nervously.

"Interesting. What brings you to Phoenix?"

"My dad's job relocated him here." Tristan explained with a slight shrug.

"Oh okay." she replied nodding her head. "Well I hope you like it here." she smiled and adjusted her backpack preparing to continue on with her walk before she was even later.

"Umm if you don't mind, can you tell me where room 402 is? I'm still learning my way around." Tristan asked embarrassed as her body perked up.

"That's actually where I'm headed. That's chemistry with Mr. Bates."

"Oh, guess I'm quite lucky then." Tristan smirked making the small girl's stomach flutter. There was something about him that was intriguing and that made her extremely nervous.

"Well follow me then." she replied kindly as he turned his hand out and grinned.

"Lead the way darlin.'

__

A loud boom erupted in the air quickly followed by a car horn blaring. Several voices began to shout manically waking Nolee from her slumber as she groaned.

"Goddamn it." she cursed to herself. "Can never get to sleep in on the weekends." she added bitterly looking at the alarm clock on the dresser next to her that read nine o'clock exactly. She sat up slowly and exhaled a deep breath. Her mind going back to the previous moment of her dream. An unnerving feeling bubbled in her stomach as well as resentment. She hated the dreams she still had and she didn't know what was worse: remembering the present or how things used to be. If only she had missed school that day.

"Well since I'm wide awake now, might as well get up." she grumbled sarcastically. Putting one hand on her stomach she carefully slid her feet on the floor. Already it was a challenge to get out of her bed with her bump. Pursing her lips she studied her body for a moment before shrugging. Still not feeling sick decided to take advantage of the moment and clean.

"Might as well do it now while I'm feeling good, lord knows the last time I did laundry." she whispered to herself as she sighed once more and walk towards the other dresser. Turning the little radio on, the sound of Zombie by The Cranberries filled the room. Pleased, Nolee began to tidy up the apartment. First sorting out her laundry she seperated the clean and dirty items into two piles. After she rummaged through old papers and unimportant items that needed to be discarded. Bagging the trash up she slid on her slippers and made her way outside the apartment complex to the side where the large receptacles were. When she got back inside she groaned when she realized the dishes sitting in the sink.

"Really shows how much pregnancy drains you." she retorted to herself. Having been sick majority of the time her desire to clean was almost non existent till now. When the dishes were finished and giving the kitchen some TLC, Nolee stood back and shrugged. It was definitely an improvement from the previous condition. Having some energy gained back Nolee savored the moment of feeling good for once.

"Since I'm on a roll, might as well make us a good brunch, how's that sound...little girl?" she asked looking down at her stomach still getting used to the idea that was she carrying a girl. Feeling around her stomach in search of a kick, there was no response after prodding for several moments.

"Must've put you to sleep by me moving around so much. I know, this is shocking for both of us." she mused and carried on with making something to eat. As the song changed her hips involuntarily began to sway along to the beat while she sang along.

'It was long ago
Seems like yesterday
Saw you standing in the rain
Then I heard you say...

Nolee sung still swaying her hips more passionately, unable to hear the knocks coming from her door. Still distracted from making her sandwich she was unaware of the sneaky Murphy creeping through the door. A curious look spread across his face as he watched the small girl dance. The curiosity had shifted to pure amusement.

'I want to love, but it comes out wrong
I want to live, but I don't belong
I close my eyes and I see blood and roses

Wild flowers in the springtime
October we were wed
In the winter the roses died
Her blood ran cold and then she said..."

A familiar giggle interrupted her trance and she immediately turned to the noise. Jumping back and almost dropping her sandwich when she realized Murphy was standing there grinning at her like a fool.

"How the hell did you get in my apartment?!" she gasped placing a hand over heart to stop the rapid beating.

"I knocked first lass," Murphy assured holding his hands up. "Besides, ye door was open. Might want ta make sure ta lock it." he retorted. Nolee stared back at him in confusion, she was sure the door had...

'Crap, I forgot to lock it when I came back from taking out the trash! Damn the pregnancy brain is already starting.'

"I'll have you know I do lock it majority of the time, and what are you even doing here anyways?" she questioned.

"Well I was bored and wanted ta come by and see what ye were doing. I can say I'm definitely not disappointed." he teased as she flushed in embarrassment. "Please, don't stop ta show on my account."

"You can't just sneak in on me like that Murphy," she scolded him in annoyance.

"I'm sorry lass I didn't mean ta scare ye, guess ye couldn't hear me knockin' over ta music." he mused walking over to where she stood and kissing her cheek. "Ye adorable." he whispered into her ear as she blushed even further.

"You came all this way just to see what I was up to?" she questioned raising an eyebrow as Murphy shifted on his feet.

"Well, I also thought we could talk ta to Connor today." he explained lowly making Nolee bite her lip nervously at Murphy wasting no time. She still wasn't sure if she wanted to be around Connor especially in her condition now. She didn't know how he'd react, and judging from the brothers' affection towards each other it was obvious they were close.

"Are you sure that's a good idea though?" she asked worriedly.

"I don't know, but it's sort of inevitable at t'is point lass. Connor catches onto t'ings pretty quickly, might as well get it over with." Murphy reasoned but she felt immense pressure building up, a sign that things between her and Murphy were really starting to pick up.

"I'm a little nervous Murphy." she admitted twiddling her fingers.

"I understand Nolee, but I can't exactly keep t'is from me brudder." he reasoned once more. Nolee slowly exhaled a deep breath in dismay but nodded her head.

"Okay, we can go. Just let me shower real fast." she replied making a step towards her bedroom but Murphy had grabbed a hold of her waist preventing her from moving any further. She looked up to find him eyeing her expectantly.

"I want me kiss first." he demanded pressing his lips against hers softly making her melt into his embrace. She was almost disappointed when he had been the one to pull away first.

"Okay, now ye can go." he smirked while she only blushed and turned on her heels in direction of her bathroom. Taking a quick shower and rinsing off the sweat she had from cleaning, Nolee savored the warm spray washing over her. When she finished she wrapped a towel around herself and dried her hair. Walking back into her bedroom she noticed Murphy on her bed watching television. His direction shifted to her, his blue eyes widening at the sight before him. A goofy grin plastered on his face made her raise her eyebrow.

"Nice try, mister. Let me get changed, alone." she told him firmly as he sighed sadly.

"Not even a little peek?"

"Murphy-" she warned as he held his hands up surrendering.

"I was just kiddin' lass, don't kick my arse," he pleaded as a smile formed from her lips watching him get up and walk out the room. Grabbing undergarments and her trusty pair of black leggings she slid them on happily. Followed by a long sleeved gray tunic that just barely reached past her belly, Nolee groaned in dismay.

"Great, I'll need to shop for new clothes soon." she whispered sadly sliding her flats on. Figuring she should at least make some effort today face wise, she applied a small amount of make up before throwing her hair up into a messy bun. Shrugging at her reflection she deemed herself presentable and walked out the room to meet Murphy who was waiting by the counter, his fingers tapping along to the beat of I Think I'm Paranoid.

"Okay, I'm ready." she told him sliding on her peacoat as he looked up at her and smiled before turning off the radio.

"Let's go t'en."

___

"And did ye know if ye spin a cow around real fast ye get whipped cream?"

"Stop it." Nolee giggled as she lightly hit Murphy in the arm while they walked to his and Connor's apartment. Nolee wasn't entirely sure where Murphy was leading her to, but at least the weather felt good on a Saturday. Her mind began to drift momentarily before looking back at Murphy.

"Hey, I forgot to tell you I met Rocco."

"Ye did? When?" Murphy questioned confused.

"Well I first met him on Halloween, and then I actually saw him again right before I came home to find you at my doorstep." she explained slightly blushing. "He's...interesting. But funny."

"Roc's a good man. Dumb, but a good man."

"He seems a little paranoid though, especially when he mentioned some people named Vincenzo and Pappa Joe I think?" Nolee explained as Murphy suddenly stopped in his tracks and grabbed a hold of Nolee's arm to also stop her.

"Why did Rocco mention them to ye?" Murphy questioned concerned.

"I don't know, when I saw him on the street he was getting a sandwich from the deli for Pappa Joe. Why?" she asked worriedly noting the sudden change in Murphy, he seemed very tense.

"Look Nolee, I didn't want ta say too much before, but t'eres something ye need to know about Rocco. He doesn't exactly work with ta best people."

"What do you mean?" Nolee inquired confused.

"Let's just say these people are very dangerous. I don't want ye to have absolutely anythin' ta do with them okay?" Murphy asked looking her head on while still grasping her arm gently. Nolee felt uneasy at how he was acting but nodded.

"Okay Murphy." was all she whispered. Murphy's face softened up while sliding his hand down her arm to interlace with her fingers sensing he was scaring her.

"I'm sorry lass, I just don't want ye accidentally gettin' involved with those bad people. I suppose I'm a little protective of ye." Murphy reasoned as his cheeks began to flush. Nolee felt small flutters in her stomach at his concern while squeezing Murphy's hand in assurance. Unable to deny that seeing him get embarrassed was more or less adorable.

"I'll be careful." she told him once more allowing him to relax.

"Good." he smiled softly and the two began to finish their walk to the apartment. Reaching a more urban part of the city, Nolee naturally put her guard up. Nolee didn't exact live in the best part of Boston herself but the neighborhood here had looked more rundown. But given the way the residents had greeted Murphy also with strong Irish accents, she assumed this had been a fellow Irish community.

"Ye don't need to be afraid Nolee. I know it's not exactly pretty ta look at, but t'is neighborhood is Irish as well, we don't mess with our own kind here." Murphy told her picking up on the cautious vibes she was putting out. Nolee relaxed slightly at his words but still continued to hold his hand. Murphy led her into a rusty gray complex, allowing her to go first up the flight of stairs. Murphy's hand immediately placing itself on her lower back protectively.

"Are you going to do this every time when we see stairs?" Nolee teased but was half serious turning her head back at Murphy.

"Yes, so deal with it." Murphy answered as she rolled her eyes but smiled lightly. When she reached the stop of the stairs Murphy led her to end of the hallway to the last apartment on the left. Opening the door he let her in first. Nolee scanned around the apartment and confusion filled her eyes. It was quite small and quite bare. There was hardly any furniture besides a small tv and coffee table that was decorated with empty beer cans, pizza boxes, and cigarettes. There was also two beds on the right side of the room. But what was the most strange was the toilet and shower that had no separation from the rest of the apartment. That's when it seemed to hit her as her eyes widened.

"Oh my god! You guys have been robbed!" she gasped staring at the barren apartment in shock and sadness. Murphy side eyed the small girl and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Umm lass...we weren't robbed. That's just how ta place looks." Murphy responded running a hand through his hair awkwardly.

"Oh...wait what?" Nolee questioned shocked.

"Connor and I don't really spend a lot of time here, it's mainly just where we sleep, we don't really see a point in havin' lots of furniture."

"Oh...I see..." she replied awkwardly not sure of what to make of the situation.

"I suppose ye can tell we're not really ta materialistic type." Murphy joked and it seemed as if he was fully comfortable with their living quarters. Nolee didn't mean to judge, it was just a very unusual place to see. But yet in a very strange way it was sort of....admirable.

"I can see that." Nolee joked back allowing the situation to not change her perception of Murphy.

"Where's Connor?" she asked with a mix of curiosity and nervousness.

"Said he was gonna do some errands when he left earlier, should be back soon." Murphy explained hanging up his coat and rosary on the nail hammered into the wall. Nolee awkwardly sat down on Murphy's bed (at least she hoped it was Murphy's bed) but just as her bottom touched the mattress the door slammed open making her stand back up.

"Hey Murph, I flirted with the red headed lass at Lucky's and she gave me free donuts again." Connor grinned as he set down the box of donuts on the messy dining table. Connor looked for his brother but his eyes immediately zeroed in on Nolee who bit her lip nervously.

"Aye, well hello t'ere lass..." Connor greeted as his light eyes filled with confusion at seeing the small girl in their apartment.

"Hi, Connor." she replied shyly giving a small wave.

"Didn't expect ta see ye here." he replied side eyeing his brother.

"We came for ta donuts." Murphy smirked shrugging his shoulders casually.

"Well don't eat ta glazed ones, those are mine." Connor warned staring at them both before opening the box. "Here ye lil' bastard." he added to Murphy. Murphy grinned childishly and sauntered over to the table, picking out a chocolate donut with sprinkles.

"Want one lass?" Murphy questioned pointing to the donut while simultaneously taking a giant bite.

"I'm good actually, but thanks." Nolee retorted but smiled at the crumbs on Murphy's face. It didn't take her long to learn he had a massive sweet tooth.

"Are ye sure, they're delicious."

"Calm down ye fat ass, it's not goin' anywhere." Connor scoffed in disgust at his brother's devouring of the confection as if it'd be the last time he would taste one.

"Oh fuck yew. Your sweet tooth is just as bad as mine ye stook." Murphy retorted flipping the spiky hair male off, which in result set off an argument of the twin brothers. It felt like deja vu to Nolee remembering the first time she heard them banter. Unable to contain her giggle, her sound interrupted the brothers who both turned their attention to her. She could feel Connor's eyes burning a hole into her and she felt the anxiety start to build as it wouldn't be long until-

"Maybe my mind is playin' tricks on me, but are ye...pregnant?" Connor blatantly asked staring at her stomach.

'Whoomp, there it is.'

Nolee awkwardly put her hands on her stomach as she looked at Murphy for help.

"As a matter of fact yes, she is." Murphy interjected understanding her facial expression.

"Hmm. Well as many times as Murph talks about ye, he forgot to mention that small...minor...insignificant detail." Connor retorted laced with sarcasm raising his eyebrow at his twin. Nolee awkwardly stared at the floor unsure of what to say. "Say Murph, how 'bout you and I have a little chat real fast." he added tilting his spiky hair in the direction of the door. Murphy sighed and rolled his eyes before nodding.

"Fine." he answered his brother who already was walking to the door. "Just give me a minute okay?" Murphy whispered to the girl touching her lower back as she nodded understandingly.

"Okay." she replied quietly to which he kissed her cheek and walked out to meet his brother. She rubbed her stomach as nervous habit not sure what to do except wait until they came back.

Murphy closed the door gently as he turned his face towards an irritated Connor.

"What ta fuck is goin' on?" he demanded pointing a finger at the brunette male. "I knew you had a t'ing for her, but when were ye gonna mention she's fuckin' pregnant?!" Connor whispered harshly.

"Relax Connor." Murphy.

"I will not fuckin' relax! Is-is it yours?" Connor gasped in shock and confusion. Murphy twisted his hands nervously hesitating answering the question.

"No, it's not mine..." Murphy admitted softly as Connor looked back at him as if someone had just knocked a beer out his hand.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ Murph-"

"Lord's fuckin' name-"

"What ta fuck are ye thinkin?! Have ye lost it?"

"Look, t'ings just sort of happened okay? I like being around her." Murphy shrugged as Connor remained speechless.

"Are ye seriously fallin' for a pregnant chick?"

"Maybe."

"What ta fuck!" Connor repeated before staring at his brother concerned. "Tell me ta truth brudder, do ye have a secret pregnancy fetish I don't know about?"

"Oh for fucks sake Connor, no." Murphy retorted.

"Explain ta attraction t'en? I mean honestly, how do ye expect t'is ta work exactly? Please enlighten me here."

"I don't know!" Murphy hissed in annoyance. "I don't how t'is will work okay? I can't tell ye why I feel ta way I do. But..." Murphy trailed off before sighing. "I like her okay? I like her a lot."

"I can't fuckin' believe this." Connor whispered running a hand through his hair anxiously. "Murphy ye have no idea how messy t'is could be."

"T'en I guess that's for me ta find out innit?"

"So you're okay with raisin' some poor bastard's child?"

"Connor-"

"Do ye even know much about her? What if she's just lookin' for any stook that'll play step-dad-"

"That's enough Connor." Murphy cut him off angrily. "Ye don't know her enough ta bein' makin' assumptions like that."

"Oh and ye do?"

"Yes, actually. Ta more I get ta know her...ta more I enjoy being with her." Murphy confessed holding his hands out. Connor inhaled a deep breath as his thumb and index finger stroked the bridge of his nose simultaneously shaking his head.

"Ye don't know what ye gettin' into brudder."

"You're right, I don't know, but that's for me ta figure out. But ye want to know what I do know? T'at if ye think you're gonna be able ta disrespect her, I've got bad news for you." Murphy answered lowly staring at his brother head on, the tension between them quickly rising while they eyed one another in battle. Connor was the first to break contact shaking his head once more.

"I don't know who ta fuck ye are anymore." he sighed before walking past his brother back inside as Murphy ran a hand through his hair anxiously. Nolee's head snapped up as Connor walked back inside the room.

"Excuse me lass, but I'm afraid I have ta leave unexpectedly." he told her dryly grabbing his wallet and glasses off the table.

"Okay, bye Connor." she answered softly as he gave her a nod before walking out the door, just as Murphy was coming in.

"Well, t'at went well." Murphy stated in sarcasm but didn't seem to be surprised at his brother's reaction.

"He hates me." she whispered sadly looking at the ground embarrassed at the tears that began to build in the corner of her eyes, hating that she was sensitive to things like this. Murphy frowned as he approached her and wrapped his arms around her protectively.

"Connor doesn't hate ye love. He's just...well he's Connor. Between ta two of us he's ta twin t'at overthinks t'ings too much, always have."

"I'm not sure Murphy..."

"He'll need some time, but he'll come around. Trust me on t'is okay?" he assured rubbing her arms comfortingly. "This isn't uncommon for him unfortunately. Don't worry tho, I won't let him be mean to ye." Murphy assured. Nolee only nodded as her head rested on his chest her head fitting perfectly underneath his chin and neck.

"Come on, what can I do ta cheer ye up? Want me to buy ye a Payday?"

"Maybe." Nolee answered childishly as Murphy laughed.

"T'en I'll get ye one lass."

"And since this meeting didn't exactly pan out, will you keep me company at the laundromat? I'm running out of clean underwear." she admitted with a frown while he laughed again.

"As you wish lass."

____

Murphy did good on his word and accompanied her to the laundromat. Nolee tried not let Connor bring her mood down but it was difficult. It wasn't as if she'd never been rejected before, but understanding how close him and Murphy seemed to be, she just wanted things to not be awkward. It might take some effort on her part but she knew she'd have to figure out a way to get Connor to warm up to her. The last thing she wanted was for them to have tension towards each other because of her.

Separating the colors from the whites she tried to distract herself and forget about Connor for now. Accidentally dropping an item as she put the clothes in the washer, Murphy was right behind her to pick it up a smirk spread onto his face.

"Nice pair of panties ye got t'ere love." he teased holding up the black undergarments while she blushed and quickly snatched them out of his hands.

"Do you have to embarrass me?"

"Absolutely."

"You're not nice Mr. MacManus." she retorted as she closed the door of the washer and went back to folding the first load on the counter. Soon after she grabbed her stomach and winced from the kicks she was receiving from her stomach, amazed at how stronger they seemed to get each day. It was enough to make her lean against the counter and inhale deep breaths.

"Are you okay love? Is somethin' wrong?" Murphy questioned concerned when he realized she seemed to be in pain.

"I'm fine. Just the baby kicking pretty hard right now."

"Oh...does it hurt?" he asked curiously as she shrugged.

"Sometimes it does. Do you want to feel it?" she offered as he looked at her nervously.

"Umm...sure." he replied nodding while she grabbed his hand and placed it on the side of her stomach.

"Press your fingers in a bit." she told him as he did so. After a moment of silence a kick jabbed Murphy's fingers making him jump back.

"Christ," he gasped surprised while she giggled. "That's cool. A little creepy, but cool."

"It's alien-like huh?"

"Very. But good ta know ye got a future soccer player in ta making." he teased. "Do you have a name picked out yet?"

"Oh gosh, no." she sighed shaking her head. "I'm not sure I'm ready to start deciding yet, it's a lot of pressure."

"Aye, t'ats understandable. Ye only pickin' a name that she'll use for ta rest of her life, definitely no pressure t'ere."

"That's comforting, thank you."

"You're very welcome love." he smirked giving her a kiss. "Also, ye know ta holidays are coming up pretty fast." he pointed out.

"Crap, you're right." she sighed once again losing track of time, unprepared for the craziness that usually comes along with it. The holidays were the last thing on her mind.

"Got any plans?"

"Not really." she admitted shrugging her shoulders. "How about you? You ever go back home for the holidays to Ireland?"

"As much as I would love ta and know I should, Connor and I usually don't." he admitted guiltily. "It'd be nice to see our Ma though." he frowned in genuine sadness while she felt her heartstring being pulled at the sight of a guy being sad over his mother.

'Oh my god, he looks so sad. Why do I have the urge to hold him?' she questioned to herself. A nagging feeling built up in her stomach, a weird desire to make the situation better probed her. She could feel the word vomit begin to rise in her throat unable to stop it.

"Well what if I host a dinner for Thanksgiving?" she suddenly suggested.

"A dinner?" Murphy replied confused.

"Yeah, I could make something for you...and Connor." she offered realizing it could be the opportunity she was looking for to hopefully make things better with the other Irishman. Murphy pondered the thought for a moment before shrugging.

"If ye want lass, I certainly wouldn't object ta a dinner."

"It's okay, I don't mind." she assured him smiling. "I probably wouldn't do much otherwise."

"Well alright, t'at sounds good ta me love."

"You think Connor would go for it though?" she questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Most likely, t'at spiky haired cunt could never turn down free food."