Risk It All

By the time Monday rolled around again and the same mundane routine of getting ready for work again, Nolee had groaned at her alarm clock like usual. It was a difficult fight getting her eyes to open. The sudden burst of energy she had over the weekend had finally said sayonara and she was now feeling the aftermath of power cleaning the apartment.

"Damn I overdid it." she whispered lifting her head from her pillow and whining for a solid minute straight. After her griping session she pulled herself out of bed and got dressed. Walking to her kitchen and making her usual fruit and oatmeal, her brown eyes stared at the clock. It was close to the time Murphy was due to arrive. But a frown spread across her face when she realized it was Monday, which meant Murphy would be attending morning mass instead of walking her to work. Although Murphy was absolutely allowed to do his own thing, she had to admit maybe she'd been spoiled by having a personal Irishman walk her to work.

'At least I'll see him for Thanksgiving.' she thought and pondered how the dinner would go. A moment of realization instantly punched her in the gut as she gasped aloud.

"Oh god why did I do that!" she whispered horrified when she remembered that she never hosted a Thanksgiving dinner before, therefore she had no clue what the whole thing entailed. There was no way she'd manage to host a dinner for both the brothers on her own!

"Shit, shit shit!" she cursed as panic began to set in. There went her bright idea on trying to win Connor over, why did she have to word vomit? Damn Murphy and his sad eyes, all she wanted to do was cheer him up over his mother, now look what she caused! Nolee put a hand over her rapidly beating heart and tried to figure out ways to make this work, but none came up. In a moment of desperation and last resorts, Nolee snapped her fingers.

"Kira." she whispered grabbing her purse and jacket before high tailing it (well as fast as a pregnant woman could go) out her apartment and made her to way Cosmo's. It was almost a good thing Murphy had been at mass so he couldn't see the hot panicky mess she currently was. Making her way through a crowd of Boston citizens, she practically threw open the door to Cosmo's.

"Welcome to Cosmo's what can I...Jesus, what's the matter with you?" Kira asked as Nolee waddled as quickly as she could to the taller girl.

"I need your help!" Nolee exclaimed as Kira held her hands out.

"Whoa, what's going on woman, are you okay?" she asked concerned. Nolee spilled out the entire events that transpired over the weekend of Murphy coming to see her, Connor's rejection, and how she involuntarily offered to make a Thanksgiving dinner.

"So let me make sure I have this all correct: Murphy wanted you and him to talk to his brother Connor about you two, but Connor isn't exactly keen on the whole idea. So you then offer to make them a Thanksgiving dinner when you have no idea how to cook." Kira repeated raising her eyebrow.

"I thought it was a nice idea at the time. I mean Murphy mentioned how he never gets to visit his mother in Ireland for the holidays and how much he misses her, it was so sad Kira! I just wanted to do something nice for him." Nolee lamented. "I mean it's the least I could do since he's been...supportive of everything."

"Okay I can understand that, but you thought pulling a dinner out your ass was the answer?"

"Yes..."

"And you're also hoping this will help mend things with Connor?"

"Mostly yeah, I just want him to warm up to me and not hate me." Nolee sighed running a hand through her hair while Kira half rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Well...lucky for you, I happen to know plenty about hosting holiday events. So after work, we need to go the supermarket ASAP and get you the stuff you need."

"Really?" Nolee gasped in relief as the taller brunette nodded calmly.

"Yes really, only because I don't want you embarrassing yourself in case things go wrong for the dinner."

"Is...that...supposed to be supportive or-"

"Look, you and I both know you can't handle pressure well, you crack like an egg. So let's avoid a huge disaster with Murphy's bro and get the things we need now before the holiday rush kicks in the next couple days." Kira reasoned.

"You're my angel." Nolee smiled gratefully as Kira flipped her hair over shoulder.

"I know I am, remember that when Christmas comes. I'm a size 7 in heels."

_____

After work ended the girls made their way to the store where Kira picked out every must haves for Thanksgiving dinner. Nolee watched in amazement as the taller girl expertly put things in the cart. A feeling of guilt and sadness bubbled in the small girl's stomach feeling inferior at not knowing these types of things. After her mom passed, holidays hadn't been the same and it wasn't if her dad cared enough to teach her all this stuff. Her grandma had usually been the one to make the food, but the actual essence of the holidays was missing. Nolee was accustomed to surviving for solely herself, it was hard to break such a habit.

"I can't believe you really don't know how to make a Thanksgiving dinner, can you cook at all?" Kira teased as the small girl who shot her a glance.

"Of course I can make other things, I'm just not used to holidays dinners. My family isn't exactly "festive." Nolee explained solemnly.

"I see, well thank your lucky stars you have me then eh?" Kira smirked making Nolee roll her eyes but ultimately nod in agreement. After gathering all the essentials and paying, the girls carried the bags back to Nolee's apartment. Kira separated it all into groups and in record time wrote out instructions for each meal, Nolee could only look on impressed. The only thing that was store bought had been the pumpkin pie and bread rolls to save some time.

"How do you know all this anyways?" Nolee questioned curiously.

"My family has always been rather over the top with holiday dinners, we've always hosted some event each year. Gives my parents another reason to show off basically, you tend to memorize it all after hosting for so long."

"Wow." was all Nolee could say.

"I know most people think I'm just a party girl, but I do know my shit...sometimes."

"Well I definitely appreciate it trust me. Is that where you'll be then, because if you want you're than welcome to join us for dinner." Nolee offered.

"Appreciate the invite doll, but yes I'll be going home for the holidays. If I don't my parents will bitch."

"Well just in case, the offer remains." Nolee assured as she put the items away, hoping that could be able to pull this all off.

"So...?" Kira said holding her hands out expectantly.

"So what?" Nolee asked confused.

"Does this mean things are finally in motion between you and Murphy? I mean, it must be if you care so much what his brother thinks." Kira replied raising her eyebrow.

"Well they do seem to be pretty close, I wouldn't want them to be at odds because of me being pregnant and all."

"Well... that's actually sweet of you to want to make an effort. Does this also mean you'll let Murphy stuff something else besides a turkey?"

"Kira!" Nolee gasped as her cheeks turned red. "What is wrong with you?"

"What?! I'm just sayin, have you gotten close to being intimate yet?"

"Not yet." Nolee whispered.

"Well why not? He's hot." Kira sighed in annoyance.

"Because! That's totally something I'm not ready for right now." Nolee explained still blushing at the thought, never really thinking about the idea until now.

"Well don't make him wait too long."

"I'll make that decision myself thank you." Nolee retorted placing the pie in the fridge longer wanting to continue the conversation feeling incredibly awkward.

"Whatever you say. Just remember to put the turkey in the oven when you wake up, everything else should be fairly easy. But if you still need my help, you can call me at my parents house."

"Okay, thank you so much for your help Kira."

"I do what I can. Oh, I almost forgot." Kira replied reaching into her purse and pulling out a white bag. "I got you something." she added handing the bag over to Nolee who eyed it suspiciously.

"What's this?" she questioned as she opened it. Her hand pulling out a bright pink onesie with black lettering that read My Aunt's Hotter Than Yours.

"Really?" Nolee scoffed.

"What, I wanted to be the first one to get my niece a gift. It's perfect." Kira shrugged proud of herself.

"It's...lovely. Thank you." Nolee replied deciding to be nice and crack a smile. "I'm sure the baby will love it too."

"She better, cause I'm the best aunt in the world I'll have you know little one." Kira replied lowering her head speaking to Nolee's stomach. "Even though I really thought you'd be a boy, but whatever it's even better. Girls rule."

"Okay relax Kira, you're scaring my child." Nolee teased feeling kicks from the inside. Kira stuck her tongue out before patting the small girl's belly. "Your mom knows it's true."

"Just be safe going back home okay crazy aunt?" Nolee retorted while rolling her eyes.

"I will, and good luck with your dinner. I hope things go good between you and Connor."

"Yeah I hope so too."

"I'll call you later for details. See you." Kira replied giving the small girl a hug before heading towards the door.

"See you," Nolee added watching her leave the apartment. She looked around the kitchen at all the food items feeling her nerves bundle up at the challenge.

"God, please let me pull this off."

____

*Thanksgiving Day*

"Okay Turkey is in." Nolee said aloud as she closed the door to the oven and set the timer for five hours. Her nerves were still tight as she willed herself to make today be good. Not able to sleep from being anxious the small girl had been up earlier than she preferred.

"I told Murphy to be here later on, so I should have plenty of time." she assured as she said one more prayer and began to cook each recipe carefully following Kira's instructions. By the time the afternoon hit she managed to make homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, extra stuffing, macaroni and cheese, and candied yams. All that was left was the cranberry sauce and when that was easily made, Nolee stepped back and exhaled a deep breath looking at her creations.

"Holy shit, I actually did it." she whispered in shock. "I'm a functioning adult after all."

She had to give credit where it was due; when Kira pulled through, she pulled through. Feeling a little more at ease and accomplished at the food, she could only hope and pray the Irishmen liked it at this point. Craving a warm shower she quickly made her way to the bathroom and turned on the water before stepping into the spray and washing the nerves away. When she finished she felt slightly better enough to get dressed. Really making an effort to not wear her usual leggings and long shirts, Nolee searched for more formal attire. After all if she was pretending to be Betty Crocker for the day, she needed to look the part.

"Mm...you'll do I guess." she mumbled settling on a marigold tank top and maxi skirt that was white with a matching marigold chevron pattern. The closest thing she could find to matching Thanksgiving colors. She groaned a bit realizing how big her belly looked in the tank top, but she had no desire to continue searching for an outfit. Letting her hair dry in it's natural curly pattern she bobby pinned the right side of her hair behind her ear. Placing her locket back around her neck, she turned side to side and couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous she felt. Who knew she was capable of being somewhat domesticated.

Figuring she still had sometime before the boys arrived she'd wait to do her makeup later. Instead she hurriedly worked on her living room and made it as presentable as she could. Lighting a scented candle for dramatic effect she twiddled her hands together nervously.

"I hope you'd be proud of me mom." she whispered to herself blinking back tears in an effort to not reminisce her mother and how much she loved the holidays. She jumped a bit when she heard her doorbell ring interrupting her thoughts.

"Hey, I thought I told you you didn't have to come until later." she spoke opening the door to reveal Murphy.

"I didn't feel like waitin.' Murphy smirked as he walked past her into the apartment. "Christ, it smells amazin' in here." he moaned in anticipation making her half smile.

"Thank you, but you were supposed to be here later. I'm not even ready yet." she frowned feeling self conscious. Murphy eyed her from head to toe and smiled while pulling her to him.

"Don't bother, ye look beautiful."

"You're just being nice." she replied childishly.

"And why would I lie to ye?" he countered leaning his face closer to hers causing her blush. "Now give me my proper hello." he lightly demanded in a low tone inadvertently sending shivers up her spine as she connected her lips to his, melting at the mint taste she'd become used to.

"Happy Thanksgiving." he whispered into her ear his cool breath tickling her.

"Happy Thanksgiving." she answered as they pulled apart. "Where's Connor?" she asked nervously realizing he was not with his brother.

"He's coming later don't worry." he assured as she nodded.

"Okay."

"Now what is t'at delightful smell huh?" Murphy questioned walking to the kitchen as she scoffed following behind. Murphy scanned the food neatly placed on the counter and Nolee swore she saw drool leak out the corner of his mouth.

"Lass, you made all t'is yourself?" Murphy told her impressed.

"I know it's not exactly a feast, but I tried to do what I could."

"Trust me lass, t'is is great." Murphy replied still eyeing the food.

"And I know how much you wish you could be back home to see your mother, I thought maybe this could make up for it a little bit." she added blushing once more as he lifted his head up to her.

"T'at's why ye did all this? Because of me?" he questioned surprised as she nodded biting her lip. There was something in Murphy's eyes that she could not detect but she was taken by surprise when he pulled her into his arms again and kissed her fiercely. Her hands clutched the collar of his black coat as he deepened the kiss. Murphy's hands held her hips while slowly pushing her backwards until her bottom pressed against a counter. Her eyes widen in alert at his boldness, his hands caressing her hips.

"M-Murphy," she lightly warned him just as a heavy knock erupted from her door making them pull apart. Nolee had been thankful for the interruption unsure of what was just about to take place. Murphy sighed as he looked towards then back to her.

"Must be Connor, guess his fat arse couldn't wait either." he told her causing her to giggle. Murphy opened up the door for her and sure enough Connor was waiting on the other side.

"Hello younger brudder."

"Shut up."

"Now is t'at anyway ta treat a guest?" Connor smirked as he sauntered into the apartment.

"Hi Connor, happy Thanksgiving." Nolee waved kindly.

"Happy Thanksgiving lass. Now I hope ye don't mind, but I brought me a hot date along." Connor replied as she lightly raised an eyebrow.

"Oh...okay-"

"Room for one more?" a voice intercepted as she widened her eyes.

"Rocco!" she beamed at the shaggy haired man now standing in her door frame.

"Nolee is that you hun? I didn't know this was your apartment. Wait, how do you know these two Micks?" Rocco asked confused while Nolee laughed nervously.

"Wait, ye know Rocco?" Connor chimed in equally confused making her stammer on her words.

"Well ain't that something. Come here hun." Rocco smiled pulling Nolee into a bear hug as she gasped in surprise. Rocco pulled away when he realized there was something solid between them. He looked down at her stomach in pure confusion.

"Whoa, either you had a huge meatball sandwich or I'd think you were pregnant."

"Rocco." both brothers scolded in unison.

"What?" Rocco asked still confused while Nolee grabbed her stomach.

"Umm I am pregnant actually." Nolee explained as Rocco grinned.

"Well congratulations sweetie, who's the lucky guy?" he asked curiously as her skin flushed. Murphy stood beside her and interlaced a hand in hers making her look up at him while Rocco furrowed his eyebrows.

"Wait...you knocked her up?!" Rocco gasped as Murphy shrugged.

"Well technically no..."

"What do you mean?"

"Yeah Murphy, why don't ye explain ta us ye beautiful love story." Connor chimed in sardonically making the small girl look at the ground while Murphy rolled his eyes.

"Maybe we should all just eat first."

*

There was a period of silence as all four adults ate the various foods. Nolee took the silence as a good thing seeing all three men chow down groaning as if they hadn't had homemade meal in a long time, especially the brothers.

"Nolee-cannoli, this is heaven." Rocco moaned satisfied. Nolee smiled relieved that they liked her cooking as well as Rocco's sudden nickname for her.

"Thank you Rocco."

"It really is delicious, thank ye love." Murphy added placing his hand on her thigh. There was a banging noise underneath the small table followed by Connor huffing in pain.

"What they said, thank ye lass." Connor grumbled and even though things still seemed to be rocky with him, Nolee accepted the compliment.

"Thank you Connor, I'm glad you all like it."

"So...catch me up here please. You're pregnant but Murphy's NOT the father, but you two ARE together is what I'm presuming?" Rocco clarified as both Murphy and her nodded.

"More or less." Murphy replied.

"Where did you two meet?"

"Murphy came into the coffee shop I work at." Nolee explained gently.

"And now you're both planning to raise the child together or what?" Rocco questioned making Nolee freeze mid bite of her food, her eyes looking at Murphy.

"Well...ye."

"Hmm. Well I admit I'm a bit surprised, but I don't see anything wrong it." Rocco shrugged.

"You don't?" Murphy and Nolee replied in unison.

"No, I mean who am I to judge anyone else's relationships? You both have seen the disaster that is Donna and I."

"I'll say." Connor mumbled under his breath.

"I'd never stand in the way of other people's happiness. So if you both are happy, then so am I. Besides, Nolee you seem like a sweet girl." Rocco answered shrugging.

"Thank you Rocco." Nolee smiled genuinely at his words, always knowing there was something good Nolee saw in him.

"Yeah, thank ye Roc." Murphy added sincerely.

"Don't thank me kids, let's just be a little extra thankful this year. How beautiful life can be sometimes."

The rest of the evening had made a turn for the better after the ice was broken. All adults had manage to enjoy good food as Nolee watched all three men crack jokes on one another relentlessly.

"And let me tell ye ta time back in Ireland I put a wee little frog down Murph's pants and he nearly pissed him cryin.' Get it off Connor, get it off!" Connor cried dramatically doing an impression of his brother while Murphy glared.

"It wasn't fuckin' funny ye know I hate frogs."

"Ye right it wasn't just funny, it was fuckin' hilarious. Macho Murph terrified of frogs."

"Oh ye want ta take a stroll down memory lane Con? What about ta time ye went on a date with Siobhan Kelly in 9th grade and got food poisoning from ta food later t'at night, and when ye makin' out ye threw up all over her."

"Oh god." Nolee gasped but couldn't contain her giggle as Connor turned red.

"Why ye gotta bring up old shit all ta time huh?"

"Why do you?!" Murphy shouted back as the brothers broke out in yet another banter while Rocco and her looked on in amusement.

"Are you sure you want to deal with them being like this all the time?" Rocco teased to Nolee while she just shook her head and smiled. Despite the craziness of it all, Nolee was enjoying herself. She couldn't remember the last time she smiled so much on Thanksgiving day. To feel genuine laughter and actually enjoy the company surrounding her. As Nolee watched the men interact with each other it was not hard to see the love and friendship underneath all the insults. A pang of sadness had bubbled in her stomach. The only time she felt this type of joy had been with her mother, and in that moment she would have given anything to have her here.

The hormones made it difficult to fight the tears that threatened to fall once more and before they could, Nolee sat up quickly.

"I'm umm...I'm going to get the pie." she told the men swiftly leaving the table and headed into the kitchen. A hand clamped over her mouth as she silently wept in the kitchen, mentally scolding herself for being so weak. This was why she didn't like the holidays in the first place, it only brought back memories that seemed so far away now. But how she wished her mom had still been alive to help her through all of this. How disappointed she'd be if she knew everything that happened with Tristan, but maybe she'd happy to have a grandchild on the way.

'I'll never know.'

"What's ta matter love?" Murphy's voice spoke close to her as she lifted her head up seeing him standing next to her, smiling through her tears.

"What do you mean, I'm fine," she replied innocently clearing her throat while Murphy frowned at her.

"I can tell you're lying Nolee."

"No I'm not." Nolee defended as Murphy reached out and grabbed her chin gently tilting it up to face him.

"Tell me what's wrong." he demanded and even though his voice was aggressive, his eyes contained nothing but concern when he noticed the tear tracks on her cheeks. She knew it was useless to keep denying.

"The holidays make me miss my mom the most is all." she whispered wiping her cheeks. Murphy bit his lip in sadness.

"I'm sorry love, I know it must be hard." he replied in understanding while she only nodded.

"Please don't cry." he replied touching her cheek.

"It's the hormones, I'm sorry."

"Why ye sayin' sorry for? Don't ever apologize, come here." he told her pulling her into his embrace. "I won't pretend ta know how ye feel, I know it's tough. But remember ye have all of us now." he assured her kissing the top of her head. Nolee felt more emotional at his words wondering how he could be so kind and caring to someone like her.

"I know." she answered back quietly. "I guess I should cut the pie now." she lightly joked composing herself.

"Are ye sure?"

"Yeah. I don't want to keep Rocco and Connor waiting." she assured opening the pumpkin pie and cutting into multiple slices. Spraying a dollop of whipped cream on each slice she brought a plate out to Rocco and Connor.

"Pie!" Rocco cheered happily as she handed him a plate. "Thank you sweetheart."

"You're welcome Rocco, and here you go Connor." Nolee replied handing the other brother a plate.

"Thank you lass." Connor thanked her kindly giving her a small smile. Nolee thought it was a bit strange at his sudden behavior towards her but she wouldn't question it. Perhaps he was starting to warm up to her after all. It might take some more work on her part, but for now she'd take what she could get from the spiky haired Irishman.

"Besides if we really want ta take a stroll down memory lane, what about Roc gettin' so langered he got arrested for swimmin' naked in ta Brewer Fountain." Connor pointed out as Murphy nearly choked on his piece of pie from laughing so hard.

"I forgot about t'at!" Murphy grinned making it Rocco's turn to blush red. "Traumatized half of Boston with his hairy arse."

"Come on man, ya can't bring that up in front of the ladies." Rocco complained embarrassed.

"What ladies Roc?" both brothers teased in unison.

"Man forget you both."

Nolee and the three men finished their slices of pie while the never ending roasting session continued. She wasn't sure how much time had passed but after the men devoured their second piece, Rocco finally stood up and sighed.

"Well, this was very nice but I need to get goin, I have packages to deliver. Nolee, it was a pleasure." Rocco smiled giving her hug.

"See you later Rocco." she smiled.

"Goodnight you two fucks." Rocco added looking at the brothers.

"Night Roc." Murphy and Connor replied in unison once more as the shaggy haired man left the apartment.

"I should probably get goin' myself." Connor spoke also standing up from the table.

"Are you sure? You're more than welcome to take the couch." Nolee offered.

"I appreciate ta offer lass, but I'll umm...leave ye two be." Connor replied awkwardly sliding on his coat. "Thanks for ta dinner."

"Of course. Goodnight Connor." she replied as he gave her and Murphy a nod before exiting the apartment as well.

"Well it's just you and me." Murphy said to her wiggling his eyebrows.

"How lucky for you to be the one to help me do dishes." Nolee retorted wiggling her eyebrows back at him as he sighed and hung his head.

"Fair enough." he mumbled while she laughed. After cleaning up the table and putting the leftovers away, Nolee washed the dirty dishes while Murphy dried them. Together it didn't take too long to clean up, but when they finished Nolee was exhausted. The Betty Crocker act had officially left the building and sleep sounded really good right about now.

"Thank ye again for today it means a lot me."

"Of course Murphy. I'm glad you liked it."

"I guess it's my turn to be headin' off innit?" Murphy replied rubbing his shoulder. Nolee frowned at the thought of him leaving, not quite ready to see him go just yet. Maybe it was because she didn't want to spend the rest of the night alone in her thoughts. But she nervously twisted her hands as she stared at the Irishman.

"Actually Murphy, would you maybe want to stay over tonight? If you want to?" she asked shyly. Murphy eyes widened in surprise slightly but nodded back at her.

"Of course love." he answered with a smile walking with the small girl to the bedroom. Both of them collapsed into her bed and sighed in unison, Murphy wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"Do ye feel a little better now?" he asked softly caressing her arm referring to her mini episode in the kitchen.

"Now that you're here I do." she admitted to him.

"I'm sorry if Connor or Rocco made ye feel awkward today. I know Rocco kinda put us on ta spot."

"He did a little bit, but it's fine."

"Well good." he smiled kissing her. "Ye know if ye wanted to, we could pick up where we left off earlier before me idiot brother ruined it." he whispered as she froze, knowing he was referring to the make out session they had in the kitchen. While it had been enjoyable somewhat, the thought of it leading to more still had her on edge.

"I don't think I'm ready for that yet Murphy." she admitted looking down instinctively preparing for him to react negatively.

"I can respect t'at lass." was all he answered as she lifted her head up in surprise. There was no annoyance or disappointment in his blue eyes that studied her. The small girl felt some guilt that it seemed Murphy was willing to be so patient so with her, while internally she struggled with her own conflicts. She felt undeserving of his patience, what if she was never ready?

Burying her face into his warm chest she wished she could hideaway where her mind could not torture her. Murphy's heartbeat was slowly drumming her to sleep while his hand played with her hair.

"Nolee?" he called her name gently.

"Yes Murphy?" she answered tiredly having been relaxed by his fingers.

"I want ta take ye on a date. A proper one."