Status: Complete

Risk It All

So Close Yet So Far

"So...how did Thanksgiving go?"

"It went pretty good I'd say. The boys liked the dinner."

"You're welcome by the way. What about Connor, did you guys get along?"

"For the most part. I think he might be warming up to me, at first he was his usual self. But by the end of the night, I don't know his behavior seemed different to me."

"Maybe you succeeded at charming him and now he'll stop being a jerk."

"Yeah maybe. After Connor and Rocco left, Murphy stayed the night and NO nothing happened."

"Of course nothing happened, and who's Rocco?" Kira asked confused.

"He's Murphy and Connor's good friend. He's really funny, a little weird but funny."

"Well that's good it turned out better than expected, anything else happen?"

"Well...Murphy asked if he could take me out on a date tonight."

"He wants to take you on a date? That is so adorable! Wait, you said yes right?" Kira gushed over the phone.

"Yeah." Nolee answered shyly.

"So what's the problem?"

"I don't know, I guess I'm just nervous." Nolee explained as her hands entwined with the phone cord her mind going back to the night before.

"A date?" she repeated lifting her head from Murphy's chest.

"Yes. Would be t'at be okay with ye?" Murphy asked carefully. The idea throwing her off while she contemplated her decision. It seemed a bit silly to her at first seeing as they managed to skip several steps, Nolee was sure they were past a date at this point. But the look in his blue eyes shown her he was completely serious.

"I mean...yeah that would be okay." she answered not having the heart to say no to him.

"Great. How does tomorrow night sound?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Good. It's a date t'en."


"Well it's not like you've never been on a date before...right?" Kira questioned sarcastically earning a scoff from the small girl. Murphy had awoken early after spending the night at her apartment to leave for morning mass with Connor. Nolee felt his lips lightly kiss her head before leaving her alone in the bed to head out. After pacing around for most of the day in anxiousness after he left, she could not take it anymore and dialed up the tall brunette.

"Of course, but it's been a long time since I have. I don't know if I even remember how to act on a date."

"You don't have to act silly, just be yourself."

"But what if I say something stupid or the whole thing goes completely wrong?" the small girl panicked.

"Whoa there, don't freak out already. It's just a date, I doubt it will go wrong, it's not like you both are strangers to each other anymore."

"I know, but still." Nolee replied with a sigh.

"Just relax and try to be optimistic. I'm sure you'll have a great time with Murphy, I have to admit I wouldn't peg him as being so romantic. When he is coming to get you anyways?"

"He said 6 o'clock."

"That's in three hours! I'm coming over."

"Wait, what for?" the small girl questioned confused.

"If you're gonna go on a proper date, you need to look amazing." Kira clarified.

"Are you trying to imply I don't look-"

"I'm saying you need a little extra sparkle tonight, really wow him. I'm bringing one of my dresses over."

"You do remember I'm about to be six months pregnant and definitely can't fit into your tight dresses anymore?"

"Thanks Captain Obvious, but I do have a maxi dress that stretches."

"Are you sure this is necessary?" Nolee lamented running a hand through her hair.

"Very necessary. So don't you move, I'll be there shortly."

"But Kira-" *beep* Nolee groaned as Kira had already hung the phone and was no doubt speeding around her apartment to gather all her products. She suddenly regretted calling her, she should know by now Kira had a flare for being extra with every special occasion. It didn't take very long for her to hear frantic knocks on her door.

"What did you teleport here or something?" Nolee scoffed opening the door to reveal the tall brunette heavily panting in the door way holding a bag in each hand.

"I...power... walked."

"Are you okay?" Nolee teased as Kira shook her head.

"I don't think I've walked so fast in my life."

"Well come in Speedy Gonzales and I'll get you some water."

"Thank...you...." the taller girl panted stepping inside while Nolee retrieved a glass of water. After gulping down the liquid Kira sighed in relief.

"Much better. Okay, let's get you sexy." Kira beamed rubbing her hands together excitedly.

"Can you please not go as crazy as you did Halloween."

"Don't worry, date nights are my specialty. Just sit back and let the master work."

__

After what seemed to be an eternity of hair pulling, eyebrow tweezing, and eyeball poking; Kira's relentless fingers had finally seized their torture and the tall brunette ordered the small girl to change. Nolee begrudgingly made her way to the bathroom and changed from her pajamas into the black long sleeved maxi dress Kira had brought over. When Nolee adjusted the dress and caught a glance in the mirror her brown eyes widened.

Kira had straightened her normal curly hair making it look sleek and shiny. Her makeup was shimmery and smoky but not overdone. Her lips were donned in a dark brown lipstick that complimented her eyeshadow and her cheeks were slightly accentuated with blush and bronzer. The long maxi dress hugged her figure and went down to her ankles. Naturally by Kira's style the dress showed cleavage as well as her bump but Nolee found it to be tolerable, the dress was rather comfy.

"So..." Kira whispered as she appeared by the girl in the mirror smiling at her work. Nolee had to admit that she actually felt pretty and sophisticated even.

"I...I like it." Nolee replied surprised touching her now straight hair.

"I told you, date nights are my specialty. Now I can't wait for Murphy's reaction when he sees you, he'll be like the cartoons with hearts in their eyes."

"You think he'll like it? Pregnant belly and all?"

"Honey, right now you're rocking the hell out of your pregnancy." Kira exclaimed amazed as the small girl blushed.

"Thanks Kira. I'll give you props this time." she admitted smirking.

"Your damn right you will. What time is it?" Kira asked looking at the clock on Nolee's nightstand gasping. "He'll be here soon! I better get going." Kira beamed putting all her beauty products back in her bags.

"Wait, don't leave me!" Nolee whined nervously.

"Nolee, you'll be just fine. He's going to love you. I don't want to cramp your guys style. Call me and let me know everything that happens okay?"

"I will."

"Good luck!" Kira grinned giving her a thumbs up before picking up her bags and quickly exiting the apartment. Nolee exhaled a deep breath trying not to let her nerves flare up. She anxiously stared at the clock waiting for Murphy to show up. She knew it was silly to be so nervous since her and Murphy weren't exactly strangers anymore, but as she stared at the clock a familiar sensation tingled through her.

Nolee stared at the clock at her nightstand anxiously as the big hand read six o'clock. Not a second later did she hear car horn beep from outside. Checking out her window she could see the familiar black car waiting in the driveway. Excited she giggled before grabbing her purse and quickly heading out her room and down the stairs to the door. Her hands trembled as she approached the car and the door opened.

"Wow you look amazing darlin.' Tristan smiled as he eyed her up and down.

"You think so?" she blushed just as she did each time he came to pick her up.

"I know so." he smirked pulling her into his arms to kiss her. "You're beautiful baby." he whispered in her ear causing massive flutters in her stomach. Tristan smiled as he grabbed her hand and helped her in the car. She bit her lip as she watched him walk back to the driver's side and slide in. Things had been incredible between them both it was hard to believe Tristan was once new to Phoenix. In the short time she spent with him it felt like she'd known him forever they had so much in common.

"Where would you like to go beautiful? I'll take you anywhere you want go."

"Can we go to McCarthy's?"

"Again babe, we always go there."

"Please? It's my favorite." she pouted sticking out her lower lip dramatically as Tristan eyed her for a moment before sighing.

"Fine, let's go. I hate when you do that." he sighed in annoyance but a cracked a smile as she giggled victoriously while they made their way to the popular burger joint. Nolee relished each time he drove for their dates he would hold her hands in his. The feel of his warm hands always seemed to make her feel safe and comfortable. Tristan was unlike any guy she'd ever met before. He was so calm and collected, she couldn't believe someone like him wanted to be with a girl like her. Each date felt like the first date they had back in high school, now they were ready to head into the adult world, together.

Tristan arrived at McCarthy's and parked before helping her out the car. She smiled as she took her hand in his and walked to the entrance door.

"Tristan." a deep voice called out and Nolee turned her head to the sound. Her smile fading into a frown when Johnny Baker the notorious criminal had been the culprit. How did he know Tristan?

"Can we talk for a second." the muscular tattooed man asked as Tristan glanced at her nervously. Nolee raised an eyebrow at him demanding an explanation.

"Get us a table and I'll meet you in there?"

"Tristan..."

"Just give me a quick second alright babe?" Tristan told her giving her a kiss and walking off towards Johnny's direction. Nolee felt uneasy as she watched him walk towards the man but listened to her boyfriend and walked inside the restaurant. Impatiently waiting for him to come back she peeked her head out the window to see what was taking so long. Johnny and Tristan looked deep into their conversation. Johnny leaned in to whisper something in Tristan's ear as he nodded and smiled, Johnny simultaneously slipping an unknown item in his hand. Tristan quickly shoving it in his pocket as they said a couple more words before parting ways. As Tristan headed back inside Nolee quickly sat down. A bad feeling had began to brew in her stomach as she knew something wasn't right.

"Sorry baby." Tristan smiled as he sat down carrying on as if nothing had happened. Nolee eyed him suspiciously.

"Tristan why were you talking to Johnny Baker?"

"He just wanted my advice on some guy stuff is all." Tristan answered with a shrug.

"Since when you are you guys friends?" she asked confused.

"I don't know, we happened to meet at Andrew's party and just hit it off I guess."

"Tristan I don't know if I'm comfortable with you talking to him, he's bad news." Nolee replied worriedly. Tristan sighed as he reached out to touch her hand.

"Relax Nolee, it's not a big deal. We're just acquaintances and have some things in common. I promise I won't get too involved with him trust me."


Nolee teared her head away from the clock and wrapped her arms around herself. The buried memory had plagued her mind as that was night she first learned promises and trust we're just words. The night she had known all along would change everything in her life completely.

The desire to say nevermind and head back into her room strongly burned inside her, unable to take the flashbacks anymore. But as she pondered her decision knocks erupted from her door making her stomach drop. Knowing Murphy was on the other side of the door, Nolee stared at it with hesitation. Afraid of what could come if she opened that door again to him, afraid that somehow someway eventually Murphy could be capable of causing her the same pain. This was how badly she became a victim to her own thoughts.

"Nolee? It's me lass." Murphy spoke softly from the other side. She remained hesitant still but after inhaling a deep breath she forced herself up and walked towards the door. A battle between mind and body fought viciously as she reached for the knob and twisted, revealing a smiling Murphy.

"Aye well hello..." he spoke but his sentence fell flat as he eyed the small girl. His blue eyes twinkled while studying every part of her. "Ye look absolutely stunning love." he whispered speechless. Nolee blushed at seeing the Irishman seemingly lost for words.

"Thank you. You look pretty handsome yourself." she shyly responded while composing herself. Murphy had coincidentally worn a long sleeve black button up shirt underneath his coat. Still wearing his usual blue jeans and boots it didn't take away from his striking face.

"Why thank ye lass." he smiled bowing slightly. "T'is is for you." he added holding up a single perfect red rose. Nolee couldn't help the smile that spread across her lips as she reached out to take it from him.

"Thank you Murphy, it's beautiful." she replied kindly. "You're really putting on the charm tonight aren't you?" she teased.

"Only for ye lass." he winked.

"So what do you have planned for this date exactly Mr. MacManus?" she inquired curiously as he rolled his eyes upward pursing his lips.

"Mm I'm afraid I can't say."

"And why's that?"

"Well if I told ye, t'at would take ta element of mystery away now wouldn't it?" he replied with his notorious smirk.

"No funny business." she lightly warned raising an eyebrow.

"No funny business." he assured smirk still in place. "Shall we go t'en?" he added holding his arm out in direction of the complex door. Nolee still eyed him carefully but began to move forward with him. Curiosity burned in her mind watching the Irishman wondering what exactly he planned. His feet had led them to the subway station, Nolee assuming whatever he had planned had to be downtown. But anytime she tried to ask for a hint he'd simply shrug.

Her assumptions had proven to be right as the train stopped downtown and Murphy helped her back onto the platform and up to the city, admiring the nighttime scenery along the way until they stopped at their destination. Nolee recognized the very tall building of the Prudential Center, but had never been inside until now, seeing as Murphy began to lead her into the building. Walking past the many sculptures and art decor they reached the elevator at the end. Helping her inside Nolee side eyed Murphy once again as his finger pushed the number 52.

"Umm...is t'ere a reason we're going up 52 floors?" she questioned nervously.

"Yes lass, I thought we'd be spontaneous and bungee jump from ta building. Why ye afraid of heights?" Murphy retorted lightly as she glared at him.

"Not funny."

"We'll be safe inside ta building, don't worry alright?" he teased putting an arm around her waist. The elevator continued to move until it reached the final floor. Nolee's eyes widened in surprise when the doors opened revealing a restaurant.

"Welcome to the Top of the Hub, can I have your reservation name please?" the hostess greeted.

"MacManus." Murphy told her gently as she nodded and scanned through the list before her.

"There you are, follow me please." she smiled leading them them to the right side of the restaurant. Stopping at the table closest to a corner Nolee gasped to herself upon realizing she could see the entire view of downtown Boston in all its glory from where they sat.

"Oh wow," she whispered amazed.

"Do ye still feel nervous being t'is high up now?" Murphy teased as she blushed and shrugged.

"A little bit."

"Well we won't be bungee jumpin' after all will we?"

"Still not funny."

"It is a little bit lass."

Nolee shook her head at him before opening the menu. Her eyes scanned the menu and upon looking at the unfamiliar entree names, her stomach felt a pang of sudden guilt seeing the prices that were awfully expensive.

"Murphy are you sure about this, this is really expen-"

"Ye don't need ta worry about t'at." he interjected looking at her. "Just get whatever ye like."

"But-"

"I said don't worry." he emphasized to her raising his eyebrows before diverting his eyes back to his own menu. Nolee did the same awkwardly uneasy of him spending so much money on her, she never liked it. Tristan had never even gotten the chance to do the same for her, she'd always refuse.

"Good evening welcome to the Hub. My name is Sarah and I'll be your server tonight, what can I get you started to drink?" the older red headed woman smiled at them both.

"Can I have a water please?" Nolee asked her softly.

"I'll just a take a Pepsi thank ye."

"I'll be right back." Sarah nodded and Nolee could not mistake the flirty smile the waitress gave Murphy before walking off to get their drinks, making Nolee furrow her eyebrows in annoyance slightly.

"I didn't know all this was up here." she admitted looking around. "It's something though."

"It's one of ta little things you should definitely see when in Boston." Murphy explained.

"Well thank you for taking me here."

"Ye very welcome lass."

The rest of the dinner had been exceptional the small girl had to admit. Having stuck with the safe choice of rice and chicken, Murphy had gotten the steak. She tried her best to not think about the expensive aspect of it and focus on Murphy instead. She realized in that moment how expressive he could be when telling stories, and how much he liked to tell stories, especially when it was about him and Connor being younger in Ireland. Nolee smiled a bit seeing the sparkle in his eyes each time he would talk about home. She was slowly starting to understand the distinction between him and his twin brother.

When they finished their meals Nolee rubbed her stomach and sighed feeling full, given the kicks that jabbed her stomach rapidly she was sure the baby had enjoyed the meal too. Murphy paid the bill as she looked on dismay but he only gave a hand motion to her signaling her to look away. Overall she couldn't complain too much about the dinner and spending it with Murphy.

"I take it ye liked ta dinner lass?" Murphy joked seeing her pace be much slower than when they walked in, she seemed more relaxed.

"I did. Although this one seems to have enjoyed it more." she teased back pointing at her stomach.

"Well I guess I did me job right t'en. Gotta make sure ye both are happy and fed." Murphy smiled rubbing her stomach while she tried not to melt completely at what he just said. Unaware of the smitten look on her face Murphy interlaced his hand with hers.

"Come on, we got one more stop ta make."

"Another surprise?" she asked shocked.

"Ye."

"But the dinner was more than enough trust me." Nolee answered guiltily running a hand through her hair.

"I'm glad ye enjoyed it, but I told ye I wanted ta take ye on a proper date, so I'm doin' just that." was all Murphy had responded with. Making their way closer to the riverfront trail Murphy guided her down the steps that led deeper into the harbor. Nolee really began to question Murphy's motives wondering what could possibly be down below.

Upon hitting the last step she looked around the dimly lit dock and laughed in shock.

"No way..." she whispered looking at him. "A gondola ride?"

"What, ye never been on one before?"

"No I can't say I have." she admitted.

"First time for everythin.'

"Buonasera signora e signore benvenuto in Gondola di Venezia." the elder Italian man greeted them.
(Good evening madam and sir, welcome to Gondola di Venezia)

"Grazie." Murphy replied politely. "Un giro completo attorno al molo per favore." (One full ride around the dock please.)[i/i] he added in perfect Italian making Nolee's eyes widen as the man nodded and began to prepare the gondola.

"We're you going to inform me you can apparently speak fluently in Italian?" Nolee noted baffled.

"Ye didn't ask lass." Murphy shrugged with a smirk helping her onto the gondola. Nolee adjusted herself to the firm seating of the gondola nervously fumbling with her hands. The night had turned out so unexpectedly good she didn't know what to think. Murphy sure knew how to lay on the romantics thick, very much surprising her.

"per favore non alzarti in piedi durante la corsa per la tua sicurezza." the gondola operator told them firmly. (Please don't stand up at any time during the ride for your safety.)

"What did he say?" Nolee questioned looking at Murphy for translation.

"He said don't jump into ta river or ta piranhas will get ye."

"WHAT?!"

"I'm just kiddin' lass, Christ."

"Murphy!"

Aside from Murphy nearly giving her a heart attack the gondola had been an experience like no other. The boat gently flowed against the Charles River while the lights of city twinkled all around. Nolee was a loss for words seeing the city at this angle not realizing just how beautiful Boston truly was. For the very first time since she moved here, she did not miss Phoenix one bit. Murphy and her didn't speak much during the ride but his hand had caressed her thigh, both of them enjoying the tranquil sound of water.

"So..." she finally whispered.

"So...?" Murphy teased looking at her.

"Is this where you take all the girls to woo them?" she joked but deep inside she was genuinely curious.

"Nah, you're ta first actually." Murphy explained quietly surprising her.

"W-why?" she whispered. "How come you're doing this for me?" she questioned feeling the guilt start back up.

"Because ye worth it." he whispered looking into her eyes.

"And I can tell no one has ever made ye think so...but ye are." he added causing her to look at her feet.

"I'm not that special Murphy."

"Don't ye ever say t'at again." Murphy responded firmly narrowing his eyes at her. "Ye very special to me." he assured. Nolee had a strong urge to scream at him "But why?" unable to understand why he liked her so much but kept the urge at bay.

The gondola ride had finished its course and Murphy helped her off the boat before thanking the operator one last time. Unsure of what time is was, she knew it had to have been pretty late as they headed back towards the subway. Nolee was still in a trance replaying the nights events over. The 'date' was far more than she'd had in the past and if she was honest with herself, it certainly had trumped any date she'd had with Tristan. The actual planning of it all had struck her the most, that Murphy had really taken the time to plan the whole thing out...for her.

She rubbed her stomach as habit when she had lost herself in her thoughts. Everything had been damn near perfect. When the train had halted and they swiftly stepped off, she was nervous at what would follow. Murphy had walked her back to her apartment wrapping his coat around when he noticed she was starting to shiver. Nolee looked at him gratefully giving him a smile in return while they continued the rest of their journey.

Upon reaching her apartment door she stopped and slowly turned to face him. Murphy kept his gaze on her but did not speak a word. It was almost as if a switch had been hit and Nolee suddenly found herself lost in his eyes. A huge contrast to how she felt the night before, it confused her how much he managed to charm her and now she was almost...craving him. Murphy seemed to pick up on her vibes as he continued to remain silent but brought her close to him. His eyes rolled down to her lips and it appeared as if he were battling with himself.

Perhaps he was feeling the similar crave she did, an unknown force deciding to toy with the both of them. The force far stronger than what had almost taken place in her kitchen. Murphy seemed to have lost the battle and pressed his lips against hers. Nolee didn't hesitate to kiss him back this time, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Murphy grabbed her by the hips as he deepened the kiss momentarily before his hand had opened her apartment door and guided her inside. When the door was shut he pushed her back against the surface gently. Feeling confident that she was making no protests Murphy kissed her several more times before lifting her up into his arms.

Nolee gasped at how easily he managed to lift her she quickly wrapped her arms around his neck to not fall. Murphy made his way into her bedroom and carefully laid her down on the bed. His body hovering over her small frame while she looked up at him temporarily dazed. In the dark room the minimal light of the moon had illuminated half his face. Murphy leaned his head back down and began kissing her again. His hands caressed her thighs and her breathing began to pick up when he lips traveled south down her jaw to her neck. Nolee closed her eyes feeling content at his lips kissing the soft flesh of her neck, delicately biting it. Her hands massaged his chest as she slipped deeper into the trance Murphy was putting her in. Maybe just maybe Murphy was allowing her to open up.

But when she made the mistake of opening her eyes, the trance had quickly dissipated. It was like a joke being pulled on her as her eyes widen in horror. Eyes that in that moment could only see Tristan staring back at her. His sinister brown eyes boring into her soul, his lips curved into a twisted smile. All the anxiety and fear she suppressed had come full circle as his hands reached out to grab her.

'You're my special girl Nolee.' he whispered laughing darkly causing her to gasp and push him away, when in reality she had pushed Murphy off of her.

"Stop."

"What's wrong love?" Murphy questioned concerned at her sudden change. Nolee felt tears start to build while she studied Murphy carefully.

"Murphy I need you to leave." she whispered.

"Why was it somethin' I did?"

"Please just leave..." she pleaded not wanting to deal with the situation any further.

"Nolee I'm not understandin,' just talk ta me-"

"I said leave Murphy!" she shouted at him in frustration through her tears. Even with the dim reflection of the moon she could see the hurt and confusion spread over his face. Nolee felt her stomach twist with guilt and shame but said nothing more.

"Fine." was all he whispered to her before slowly getting off her bed and leaving the apartment. Nolee bit her lip as she watched him, wincing when she heard her door slam shut sending her into hysterics.

Why did she still have to feel this way, why did he still manage to control her thoughts?

All the new progress she had made was shattered once again. She was so close yet so far to getting herself out the abyss of her pain. Her head collapsed into her hands while she broke down.

Aware that she inevitably may have just damaged everything with Murphy beyond repair.