Risk It All

"I asked her. We need ta talk, now." he demanded making her freeze up. His dark blue eyes held something she couldn't identify, a stark contrast from last night. Knowing she wouldn't be able to get out of this she sighed looking down.

"Okay, but let's go back to my place." she told him gently as means of stalling. Murphy nodded and waited for her to grab her keys from Kira's bedroom. Nervously she met him back at the door where he continued to stare at her the way he was, she walked past him and both of them made their way back to Nolee's apartment in silence. She could feel Murphy's eyes burning a hole into her but she kept gaze in front of her. Reaching the apartment she slowly opened the door allowing him to enter.

Closing and locking the door behind her Murphy turned around to face her expectantly.

"What do you want to talk about?" she meekly asked.

"I think ye know what I want ta talk about." Murphy replied shortly. "What happened last night?"

"I just..."

"Cause I thought we had a good time up until we came back here. T'ere was a change in ye, I could see it. I want ye ta tell me what's goin' on." Murphy explained as her nerves became on edge of being put on the spot.

"Murphy, there's a lot about me you wouldn't understand."

"T'en how bout ye try explaining ta me, because I'm tryin' me best to patient Nolee but-"

"But what?" she questioned cutting him off as he sighed at her.

"I'm startin' think t'eres more ta ye than just movin' ta Boston ta start over. T'eres somethin' else innit?" Murphy begin to catch on as her defenses started to come up on their own. Afraid, Nolee turned away from him.

"Don't turn away from me lass." Murphy huffed in annoyance reaching out to grab her hand but Nolee pulled back instinctively at his tone, wincing when he came closer to her. Nolee had prayed he didn't notice but the look on his face said otherwise. She could see the lights going off in his head as if it all began to click.

"Who hurt you?" he whispered knowingly. Nolee's eyes welled up with tears while avoiding contact with him.

"No one..."

"Tell me ta truth Nolee." he replied firmly. "Please lass, I won't think of ye any different. But if we're gonna try and make this work, you have ta open up ta me. I just want ta help, I can't do t'at if you don't let me in. Who hurt you?" he asked again emphasizing the last part. Nolee's lip trembled as she willed herself to try and speak.

"It was my ex..." she whispered. "The baby's father."

"What did he do?" Murphy questioned carefully. Nolee gritted her teeth blinking away the stinging sensation in her eyes. Murphy reached out to touch hold her hand reassuringly, his movement much slower this time to not startle her. "It's okay love, talk ta me.I'm here."

"I have to start at the beginning." she whispered once more as he nodded patiently.

"My ex Tristan...we met in high school. He had moved from Nebraska to Phoenix and one day when I was running late to school I tripped and spilled my books everywhere, Tristan had helped me. When we met...I was instantly attracted to him. He was unlike all the boys at my school, there was just something alluring about him. It seemed cliche but after we met and I walked him to class, we just started hanging out. Pretty soon we were together all the time and the more I got to know him...I fell for him. He made me feel things I had never felt before and lucky for me, he felt the same way. So magically we became a couple and everyday I spent with him... I was so happy. But after we graduated high school...that's when it all changed." she explained inhaling a deep breath and Murphy could see she was struggling to continue.

"It's okay love." he repeated reassuringly.

"Everything changed when Tristan met Johnny at one of our mutual friends' party. For some strange reason the two hit it off...and Johnny being a well known gang member and criminal...he somehow sunk his claws into Tristan. I don't know how he did it, but he charmed Tristan into his lifestyle. A lifestyle of crime and drugs. Tristan promised me he wouldn't get involved with him, but obviously that was a lie. The more he started to be around him...the more he changed and that's when I learned the hard way Tristan started doing drugs too, but by the time I found that out...that's when he started to beat me..." she whispered as tears fell.

"He abused me often physically, mentally, and verbally. I was too scared to leave him. He became so different...not the sweet caring guy I had first met, but a monster. He forced me to hang around them too and I never wanted to. They were dirty sadistic criminals, I don't how Tristan wanted to be apart of this. But it became clear it was the money motivating him. Johnny made Tristan a member of his crew and it wasn't long before he was doing dealings for him. Tristan promised me it was to help us for our future but it was a lie. I was terrified to be with him, but I was even more scared to leave. The person he had become and the sources he had, I didn't want to think about what he was capable of at this point. I stayed because I didn't know any better. My family...wasn't much of a family, mainly after my mother died. I loved him so much I really thought he was my true love...but all he did was hurt me. I knew eventually I needed to leave him but I didn't know how...until..." she trailed off closing her eyes as she clutched her stomach.

"Until the day I found out I was pregnant."

"You stupid bitch! You can never do anything right!" he shouted before Nolee felt the stinging sensation of the back of his hand colliding against her cheek. She gasped as tears filled her eyes and her hand immediately cradled the assaulted area. The slaps had become routine to her, but the physical aspect didn't get easier. Nolee didn't know any better, she never knew life shouldn't be this way. Tristan snarled and gripped both of her arms harshly.

"Why do you love to purposely piss me off Nolee? Why do you make me do this?"

"Tristan please stop, you're hurting me." she pleaded attempting to break free from his grasp, knowing it was futile.

"I wouldn't have to hurt you if you just fucking listened!" he retorted and shoved her to the ground. Nolee whimpered as she fell on her side. The cold feel of the hard wood floor and the pain in her side sent a moment of realization to her mind as she looked up into his cold eyes.

This was it, this couldn't continue.

"When will you fucking learn?" was all he said to her before he lifted his leg to her stomach while she screamed. Nolee instinctively put her hands in front of her stomach to protect it, her hands taking the kick. Angering Tristan by her action he attempted to kick her again, but before he could Nolee had managed to push herself up in time as she ran to the front door grabbing the bag she secretly kept from behind the shoe rack and darted out the door never looking back.

"A long time ago I had a bag packed...just in case I got the courage to leave. But then I found out I was pregnant, I really didn't know what to do. Did I try and make it work, hoping he would somehow change for the sake of the baby? I know I might sound dumb, but you have to understand the state I was in. That night though...when Tristan came home angry again...he tried to kick me in the stomach twice. It was then I knew I had to escape forever, I had to protect my baby. So I ran away, the money I saved without him knowing, I used that to get to Boston." Nolee confessed as tears spilled down her cheek. Murphy felt his stomach twist as he pulled the girl into his arms.

"It all makes sense now, Nolee I'm sorry." he whispered. "I'm so sorry." he repeated to her as Nolee wept in his arms. Even though she came clean it didn't help her to feel any better in that moment. "I had no idea it was t'at bad for ye."

"Please just give up on me Murphy." she whispered after a while.

"I can't do t'at. I won't do t'at." Murphy replied with gritted teeth.

"But why? Why do you want someone like me? I'm messed up, I'm damaged can't you see that?" she sobbed looking up at him. Murphy sighed as his hands had now cradled the sides of her head.

"Just temporarily Nolee." he replied gently. "Ye have no idea how much ye mean ta me and how different me life's been ever since ye became apart of it. I promise I will help ye recover, we'll do it together."

"What if it takes me a long time, you really want to stick around for that?" she lamented.

"I'll wait forever if that's what it took lass. But ye should already know I'm not ta type to give up, and t'eres no way in hell I'm about ta now." Murphy declared as she trembled in his arms burying her face into the crook of the Irishman's neck. Murphy lifted her up in his arms as he carried her to the couch and sat down so his hands were cradling her body. Nolee's nerves were still tense but as Murphy held her to him and stroked her hair she relaxed some. Unable to believe she had came clean, the weight was supposed to be lifted.

But it didn't. She knew it magically wouldn't go away as soon as she confessed to him, it would take time. Together they sat in silence for a while on the couch as his hands caressed her tenderly.

"I'm scared that one day...he'll find me. I'm scared he'll hurt me and my baby. He doesn't know I was pregnant when I left." she admitted after the brief silence. She felt Murphy shift underneath uneasily, his face hardening as he cupped her face.

"T'at will never happen. I swear on me life Nolee, I will do absolutely anythin' to protect ye both. T'at piece of shit will never get ta chance ta hurt ye again." Murphy assured squeezing her tighter. Nolee curled into his chest and that was where she remained for the rest of evening. She didn't want to leave his grasp but Murphy had persuaded her she needed to eat something. Making the both of them sandwiches Nolee stayed in his eyesight watching him work in her kitchen.

When they finished eating Murphy brought her back to her bed and resumed his position of holding her. Her brown eyes kept focus on his blue ones part of her still in disbelief that the Irishman had really become a piece of her life. A part of her in disbelief that he seemed to be the silver lining she didn't know she needed and for a second she wondered if it was her imagination that he was here with her. Slowly she reached out to touch his cheek to prove it wasn't all in her head. Reading her thoughts Murphy kissed her wrist.

"Ye can rest easy now me love, I'm here."

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