Risk It All

And standing by his word, that was where Murphy remained. As the Boston skies transcended into a chilly winter, Nolee began to accept him in her in everyday life more and more. The Irishman had now seem to be at her apartment almost everyday and Nolee was okay with that. Because every time he was at her apartment he would wrap those long arms of his around her. And slowly Nolee came to love those warms, the unsettling fear in her mind that slowly she was getting attached to him.

Because getting attached meant the possibility of getting your heart broken. But everytime her doubts would flare up, his hands were right there to change her mind. Hands that rested protectively over her and her stomach, Nolee felt...safe. While her journey was nowhere near over, for right now she'd let herself be here with him.

For the past few nights that occured since she told him the truth about her past, Murphy's hands would randomly run up and down her body, touching every single inch of her.

"What are you doing?" she finally decided to ask him about it. Though she was confused, she half smiled at the Irishman's random actions. Murphy only smiled as he ran his hands slowly down her face.

"You've had hands put on ye t'at wanted ta hurt ye. But these hands...they will always care for ye."

_____

December may have only been a week in but Christmas seemed to be in full effect, giving the Christmas songs that played absolutely everywhere since Thanksgiving. Nolee felt indifferent watching the diversity of people rush around and be in even more of hurry than they already were. Weren't the holidays supposed to be cheerful? It only made people dash around madly and focus more on material gifts than the actual essence of Christmas, maybe that was why she started to like the holidays less and less.

"You don't seem too excited about all t'is." Murphy teased pointing at the various holiday decorations and displays, noting the indifferent expression on Nolee's face. Walking through the city of her neighborhood while she tended to errands, Murphy was kind enough to keep her company.

"Holidays just aren't what they used to be ya know?" Nolee replied shrugging.

"I suppose so. T'ats why I tend ta miss Christmas in Ireland, we still value ta spirit of it, not ta just ta gifts. We're even more festive than t'is if ye can imagine it."

"Do you have different traditions there for Christmas?" Nolee asked genuinely curious.

"We do a couple things differently, technically Christmas starts on ta 8th for ta Irish. Also ta 26th is a holiday that Northern Ireland calls 'Boxing Day,' although it's also referred to as 'St. Stephen's Day.' Like here in ta states, t'eres many events held for charities. Interestingly enough tho' January 6th is ta official last day of Christmas. Traditionally it's also ta day women refrain from all housework and chores. Ta men of ta house are ta be ta ones who do them, as well as taking down ta decorations and cooking ta meals. It's considered bad luck if they don't."

"Now that's something I would like to participate in." Nolee teased while the both of them laughed.

"Our ma definitely enjoyed t'at day with Connor and I."

"Too bad we don't have that kind of stuff here. Our traditions are things like stringing popcorn together or making gingerbread houses."

"Stringin' popcorn?" Murphy replied confused as Nolee giggled again.

"Yeah you string along popcorn and wrap them around the Christmas tree as a garland." she explained.

"Hmm, don't think I've ever heard of t'at one. Although I admit I love me some gingerbread, nothin' compares to me Ma's Christmas Puddin.'

"Christmas in Ireland sounds intriguing, maybe one day I'll get to experience it."

"Maybe lass."

As the pair walked hand in hand window shopping a store filled with baby items came into Nolee's view making her stop. A twinge of overwhelment filled her stomach staring at the many clothes and furniture. Now that she was more or less six months in to her pregnancy, she knew it was probably time to start buying things.

"I have no idea to where to begin. All these clothes." she said aloud feeling frazzled.

"T'at is quite a lot of stuff." Murphy agreed his dark blue eyes widening at the items himself.

"Maybe it's time I start buying stuff. I have sort of put it off as long as possible now." she admitted running a hand through her hair.

"Well on ta bright side ye already know it's a wee little girl, so t'at eliminates half ta store right t'ere." Murphy said optimistically as she couldn't help but laugh.

"Can't say you're not wrong."

"I'm never wrong love."

"Yeah, yeah." Nolee retorted half rolling her eyes but smiling. "Do you mind if I look around and maybe get an idea of what to get?"

"Not all." Murphy shrugged as they walked into the store. Nolee's eyes wandered around the clothes and bit her lip as she scanned through them. So many sizes, so many colors, how could she choose?

"Christ, t'eres so much stuff. My Ma just let Connor and I run around ta house naked as young lads."

"I can't say I'm surprised Murphy." Nolee teased returning her gaze back to the task at hand sighing. She knew the basic needs of a baby yet here in the moment she had no idea where to start. Looking at Murphy he seemed just as loss as she was.

Perhaps they were radiating 'okay, but what the fuck do we actually do?' vibes but as if an angel in the form of a saleslady had seemed to read their minds.

"I know that look well by now, first time parents?" a blue eyed slender woman with blonde hair cut into a bob asked as they approached them. Nolee certainly found the woman to be angelic despite her ordinary name tag that read 'Susan.'

"Umm...is it obvious?" Nolee replied embarrassed while Julia smiled.

"Pretty much, but that's to be expected. After all there's no manual for parenting, though don't we wish. Would you both perhaps like a list of things you typically need in the first months?"

"That would be amazing." Nolee sighed in relief as Julia laughed but nodded.

"I'll get you the list, don't you worry."

After Julia helped the overwhelmed couple, Nolee felt a bit calmer having a better idea of what she needed. She managed to check off half the list and felt somewhat successful, the bigger things like highchairs and rockers would have to come later though.

"Who knew a little person needed so many t'ings." Murphy told her as he stared at the items Nolee picked out.

"They need a lot of things." Nolee agreed tiredly already feeling winded from the day.

"And ta think a while ago you were questioning your Ma abilities, now look at ye gettin' prepared." Murphy smirked as she blushed.

"We'll see how I do when she actually comes, I'm still doubtful." Nolee admitted grabbing the bags after paying and as she turned to exit the store Murphy grabbed her hand.

"Ye made ta brave choice to get ye self out of a horrible situation for both your safety. Sounds like one hell of a Ma ta me." Murphy reasoned catching her off guard. She was finding it hard to keep up with the new perspectives Murphy would seem to show her. He was essentially breaking down everything she had thought she'd ever known.

"Thank you Murphy...that means a lot to me." she whispered back biting the inside of her lip.

"No need ta thank me lass, just callin' it how I see it. Now come on, all t'is shoppin' has made me famished." Murphy groaned as she laughed but nodded.

"Fair enough."

Getting takeout for the trip home Nolee decided to be nice and let Murphy pick the food they ate, to which he chose pizza naturally. Spending the evening watching his favorite action movies, Nolee bared through them all for the sake of his enjoyment.

Watching him sleep soundly next to her Nolee gingerly touched his disheveled dark brown hair. Of all the beautiful places in Boston he still chose her. Not sure what led her mind to think back to the waitress at the hub, but she couldn't help but recall the flirty look on the waitress' face. Even though Murphy was completely oblivious, Nolee felt a small pang of jealously go through her knowing Murphy was desired. That out of the pretty girls in Boston, Murphy still picked her. That even though the notion of that should be endearing, it made her insecurities appear, what if he found another girl later on? Someone who wasn't pregnant and didn't have so much baggage?

"Stop it... just stop." she whispered to her mind in a plea to stop the anxiety. Murphy was here with her now and that was all that mattered. Sighing as she touched his cheek, she was unable to keep one thought at bay. If things were really going to be official between him and her, if she was really going to let Murphy be a permanent part of her life, she wanted all roadblocks gone. Confident she knew what do next, Nolee quietly snuck out her bed leaving Murphy alone. She knew just who she needed to speak to.

Carefully walking to the phone on the wall and picking it off the hook, she dialed in the familiar numbers.

"Hello...?" the voice on the other end answered.

"Connor? It's me, Nolee."

____

The next morning Murphy walked Nolee to work like per usual, her eyes sneaking glances at him periodically as her mind thought about her plan. Even though she wasn't planning anything too sneaky or suspicious, it still made her nervous.

"Hey, so there's something I have to do tonight." she told him when they reached Cosmo's.

"Okay, what is it?" Murphy asked calmly.

"I can't tell you..." she replied biting her lip as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"And why not?" Murphy questioned concerned.

"It's just something I have to do okay? I promise it's nothing dangerous." she assured him placing the flat of her palm on his chest affectionately. Murphy still looked at her suspiciously before finally nodding his head.

"Alright fine, I'll probably go visit Rocco t'en."

"AKA McGinty's?" she teased raising an eyebrow of her own.

"I plead ta fifth lass." he retorted causing her to laugh.

"Fine, just be careful at the bar. I'll call you when I'm finished, sound good?"

"Ye, sounds good." he shrugged giving her a kiss. "Be safe, please."

"I promise I will." she assured him once more being the one to give him a kiss this time, Murphy grinned in response.

"See ye later t'en love."

"Bye Murphy." she told him giving him a wave as he walked off. Nolee inhaled a deep breath before stepping inside the shop. The morning had been pretty standard like most days, clean out the muffins and make new scones. Nolee had at least enjoyed the morning making blueberry cheesecake bars. After the lunchtime crowd did their usual hustle and bustle, Nolee was thankful for the ten minute break. It was always calm after the storm once lunchtime rush ended, the rest of the day would sail by much smoother. Sipping small gulps from her bottled water, her eyes shifted to the clock.

"Whatcha keep staring at the clock so focused for?" Kira interrogated eyeing her friend.

"No reason."

"Mhm, I know that look. You've got something planned, so spill." Kira demanded coming closer to where Nolee stood. "Let me guess, it has to do with Murphy?"

"Umm...surprisingly this time, it concerns the other brother."

"Other brother...what are you talking-"

"So t'is be the place me brudder got swept off his feet?" Connor's voice spoke as both girls looked in his direction while he walked sauntered over to the register. "Though I'm startin' ta see why now, Murph didn't tell me all the ladies here were gorgeous." he added turning his gaze to Kira who unusually seemed thrown off.

"Umm.I...umm...hee hee." Kira stuttered on her words and giggling nervously while Nolee furrowed her brows at the taller brunette. For someone naturally poised, Kira was acting the total opposite.

"Hi Connor." Nolee responded to the spiky haired Irishman. "Thank you for meeting me here."

"Well, ye welcome I guess. Although I'll have ye know I'm missin' me Charlie Bronson marathon." Connor lamented.

"I promise I'll make it up to you. Did Murphy go see Rocco?"

"He did." Connor nodded while both of them were unaware of the Jeopardy thinking song seeming to play in Kira's mind as she came out her reverie and put all the pieces together.

"Wait, you're Connor? Murphy's brother?" Kira asked shocked.

"Guilty as charged me lady. But just to clarify, I'm the older and more handsome twin brudder." Connor winked at her while Nolee rolled her eyes at the never ending battle the brothers seemed to have and simultaneously portraying Mr. Charming in this moment.

"T-Twins?" Kira stammered shooting daggers at Nolee as if to say 'Why the fuck didn't you tell me they were twins and Connor was so hot?"

"Slipped my mind." Nolee mouthed shrugging with a smirk, Kira only shook her head angrily.

"So, you ready to go?" she asked turning her gaze back to Connor.

"Ready when ye are lass."

"Let me just get my bag." Nolee smiled as she took her apron off. "Kira, can you do me a huge favor and close by yourself tonight?" she whispered both of them eyeing Connor who stared up at the menu oblivious to the girls, but the confused expression reminded Nolee exactly of Murphy's face when he first came into the coffee shop that one day.

"What the fuck is going on, why didn't you tell me they were twins! You really weren't going to inform me on that hot piece of ass standing right there?! I've never been so hurt in my life."

"Oh my god, are you really doing this right now? What about Brian huh?" Nolee questioned.

"Brian who? I've never seen so much sex on a stick before." Kira replied holding a hand over her heart as Nolee rolled her eyes.

"I have to take care of something, please just close tonight? I'll make it up to you." Nolee assured as the taller brunette huffed.

"Fine, but you better. I don't think I've ever wanted Irish in me so badly until now."

"That was truly unnecessary, but thank you." Nolee sighed grabbing her purse. "Okay Connor, I'm ready now."

"Hmm? Oh okay." Connor replied no longer oblivious smirking at the girls. Connor walked closer to the counter and reached out to grab Kira's hand. "Hope ta see you again me lady." he whispered charmingly kissing the top of her hand.

This day in history Nolee witnessed the dignified and poised Kira Martin almost faint.

__

"So what ye draggin' me out ta apartment for?" Connor questioned as they had began to walk.

"How about we get a bite to eat first?" Nolee suggested smiling extra enthusiastic at the other MacManus brother. "You can pick."

"Alright, fine." Connor replied taking the lead. Twenty minutes later Nolee found herself at the same burger joint Murphy had taken her to the first time she hung out with him. Alice of course greeted them excitedly, seemingly to be just as fond of Connor as she was with Murphy. Sitting down in the farthest booth of the diner, Nolee fiddled her hands nervously.

"Get whatever you want, it's my treat." Nolee told him as the Irishman narrowed his eyes at her.

"Are ye just tryin' ta butter me up or what?"

"Well...I know you more or less hate me. So, I thought maybe I would attempt to get to know you better and we could make some sort of peace." Nolee explained smiling awkwardly. Connor kept his eyes at her for a brief second but scoffed gently.

"I don't hate ye lass." Connor clarified. "But naturally I have me doubts, it's kinda me job ta be protective of me twin brudder."

"I understand that completely. I know that me being pregnant isn't the most ideal situation." the small girl admitted.

"It's unconventional, let's be honest. But, t'ats not ta main reason why I feel...concerned."

"What's the other reason...?" Nolee inquired nervously. Connor ran a hand through his spiky hair and sighed once more as if he was having difficulty putting the words together.

"Look Nolee, Murphy is...impulsive. Always has been, ever since we were born. He doesn't always tend ta think things through, he just likes to live in ta moment. Because of t'at, he's found himself in sticky situations obviously, those of which I usually end up havin' ta fix." he explained rolling his eyes. "Murphy's made some dumb decisions in his past relationships...but...ta way he acts with you...I've never see him act like t'at with ta others."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she questioned once more in hesitation.

"It means I've never seen him actually care about someone t'is much. Ta other women Murphy treated them with respect of course, but his heart was never fully in it. Ta see him this way now, it's a little alarming. He's completely wrapped around ye finger." Connor added apprehensive while the revelation made Nolee's stomach flutter.

"Because of t'at, I want ta make sure Murphy isn't being impulsive again. T'at ta way he feels...is because it's how he truly feels."

Nolee inhaled a deep breath soaking up his words and trying to process them. She wasn't expecting Connor to say what he did. But as she put it all together in her mind, she couldn't help the smile that formed.

"Tell me everything about Murphy."

"What do ye mean lass?"

"Tell me all his qualities, all his flaws, I want to know absolutely everything."

"Murphy is spontaneous and dangerously curious. Sometimes he doesn't always know when ta give up, and with t'at his emotions can get ta best of him. He's an incredibly stubborn pain in ta ass most of ta time...but he's ta most giving person I know. He will do ta world for ta ones he loves most, and protect him them no matter ta cost. When he says he's going ta do somethin, he follows through." Connor explained crediting his brother with a shrug. It all seemed to come full circle for Nolee as the gears turned in her mind. Connor could see those gears turning himself, as if her subconscious was giving her the confirmation to move forward.

"I take it ye want me blessing?" he asked knowingly as she blushed but nodded.

"Precisely, yes. I want to know you'll support your brother choosing to be with me. I want you to know that even though I'm still learning a lot about myself, I will do my best to make him happy, that I realize the beautiful and uniquely peculiar soul Murphy is. I want you to know I understand how close you both are and I will always respect that, I will never overstep my boundaries." Nolee assured him with a sudden streak of confidence and dignity. The words seemed to have impacted Connor as his light eyes appeared shocked for a moment. He then coughed as he adjusted his posture.

"... Then you have me blessing."

"Really?" she questioned surprised.

"Yes lass." he replied nodding his head. "I have ta admit no girl has ever spoken ta me ta way ye just did. Ta fact ta you brought me me down here ta speak with me one on one, ye already earned some respect. But after t'is, you've earned me full respect."

"Thank you Connor." she replied genuinely smiling at him.

"Ye welcome." Connor replied equally. "So, do ye even know what ye havin' yet?" Connor asked referring to her stomach, not the menu.

"Oh...I'm having a girl." Nolee answered as Connor nearly choked on his laughter.

"Oh me brudder is so fucked."

The rest of the dinner had gone way better than Nolee anticipated once Connor opened up to her. She had to admit she enjoyed getting to know the other MacManus brother. She was also now able to clearly distinguish the twin brothers' personalities. Unlike Murphy who was into art and music, Connor had a heavy passion for books and western movies. The more reserved twin, Nolee began to understand what Murphy meant when he said Connor was the more rational one. Murphy who was up for almost anything you'd suggest to him, Connor had his limits. One thing they no doubt shared together was their sense of humor and undying love for bacon cheeseburgers.

"I'm dyin' ta know how our Ma will react to t'is whole thing." Connor smirked as they walked out the diner. "She was startin' ta lose hope Murphy would ever have kids."

"Murphy talks about your mother a lot, I know you both really cherish her." Nolee noted as Connor shrugged in agreement.

"Our Ma might be a crazy Irish woman to ta bone, but she raised us ta be who we are now. Wouldn't exactly call her parenting skills conventional, but she always put us first, no thanks ta our Da."

"Yeah Murphy told me a bit how he was MIA. Ironically my dad was physically there, but mentally MIA." she sympathized as the spiky haired Irishman looked at her.

"T'ats gotta be pretty tough lass. What about your Ma? Murphy mentioned you weren't from Boston."

"I'm not, I was born and raised in Phoenix actually. And my mother, she passed away when I was young." Nolee answered quietly.

"Oh lass I'm sorry, I didn't mean ta pry."

"It's okay Connor, not like you could know that."

"Surely ye got other family though?"

"Just Kira. I've always sort of been on my own."

"What made ye come to Boston then?" Connor asked curiously. Even though his twin brother had now known the full truth Nolee still shuffled on her feet, wondering how Connor would react if he also knew. She hoped Murphy wouldn't tell him about her until much later down the road. She just made good with him, why ruin it.

"I umm...got tired of my life in Phoenix, I wasn't happy anymore. I thought if I made a change, maybe my baby and I would be happy."

"Nothin' wrong with t'at." Connor shrugged in response. "Guess it all kinda of worked out t'en or did it? I mean now you're stick wit me idiot brudder, my condolences lass." Connor retorted as Nolee couldn't contain her laughter.

"Murphy was definitely unexpected. I never would've thought these past two months would change so drastically. But...I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy about it."

"Well lass, ye know what they say. Ta best things are usually unexpected."

"Perhaps." she shrugged in response as her eyes look forward. But out the corner of her eye something caught her attention making her stop. Nolee's eyes were drawn to a little antique that housed unique trinkets. In the corner of the display window rested a dark brown crib that caught her attention the most. Her eyes followed the carved in designs of yellow sunflowers that decorated the wood. It brought an overwhelming sense of familiarity to her as memories of her childhood came flooding back. The way her mom would let her play dress up at her vanity and how she'd braid Nolee's hair. When she was finished, she'd make a crown out of sunflowers that came straight from the field outside their home and place it on the little girl's head.

'You'll always be my sunflower. Even on the darkest days you are my sunshine.'

A longing filled her heart as she wished she could keep that crib for her very own. But her hope was quickly lost when she realized the crib was more than likely to be something she couldn't afford by now.

"Hey lass...ye okay?" Connor's voice came back into focus snapping her out of her reverie.

"Yes I'm okay, sorry." she smiled embarrassed someone had caught her staring off again. Painfully turning her head away from the window Nolee diverted her eyes to Connor as they continued to walk.

"So...doe this mean you like me now?" Nolee teased as Connor rolled his eyes.

"Let's not get crazy here okay?" he teased back smirking. "But after tonight I can see why brudder likes ye so much. You're not like ta girls here."

"So I've been told." Nolee retorted.

"Ye well, I'm willin' to open me mind up about this whole baby thing. But if ye expectin' me to do all sorts of uncle duties, t'at might take some time. I definitely ain't changin' no diapers."

"Fair enough Connor, fair enough."

"And by ta way lass...is Kira ta girl ye work with at ta coffee shop?"

"Yes...why?" Nolee questioned raising her eyebrow at him.

"Oh, I was just curious is all."

"Mhmm, sure Connor."

Connor was kind enough to walk Nolee home and even though he didn't show it, Nolee could see underneath he was still a gentleman with women. Whatever their mother did with them growing up, she certainly did a good job. Feeling rather successful of her night with Connor and that things would finally be civil now, she felt a calmness temporarily spread over her. Knowing she had the support of the most important person in Murphy's life, they could move forward together.

"Also, I'm sorry I was a dick ta ye t'at night at McGinty's. I shouldn't have treated ye like t'at." Connor admitted disappointed in himself. Nolee had almost forgotten the incident on Halloween night that he had saved her from. She smiled a bit at the fact that he remembered and was still apologizing.

"It's okay Connor, I forgive you." she assured him as they reached her apartment door. "Well, tonight was actually rather fun getting to know you. Thank you for meeting with me, but I have to ask why did you?" Nolee questioned unable to hide her curiosity.

"Guess my curiosity got ta best of me." Connor answered casually shrugging. "I have ta admit I enjoyed myself tonight as well. Murph surprisingly did good for once."

"Thank you Connor." she whispered blushing.

"Ye welcome. Guess I'll see ye later then, have a goodnight lass." Connor smiled before turning on his feet to head out the building. But as she slipped the key into her door he stopped.

"And Nolee?" Connor said to her as she lifted her head up.

"Yes Connor?"

"I know ye told me over dinner how nervous ye are. But for what it's worth...ye gonna make a great Ma." he smiled lightly. Nolee felt tears build in the corner of her eyes and before she knew it she reached out to hug him soothed by the reserved Irishman's words.

"Thank you." she whispered. Although taken by surprise, she felt him awkwardly hug her back.

"No need ta thank me. I'll see you later." he assured her as she nodded watching him walk out for real this time. Heading into her apartment she sighed tiredly but smiled to herself still feeling good. After taking a warm shower and changing into PJ's gearing up to watch a movie, she prepared to snuggle in her bed. Her plan was suddenly thwarted by her phone ringing making groan lazily.

"Hello?" she spoke into the phone tiredly.

"Hey love, I'm just checkin' in ta make sure ye made it home safely." Murphy spoke back as she smiled hearing his voice.

"I did, I told you I would."

"Ye get what you needed taken care of?" he questioned as the small girl lightly smirked into the phone.

"I suppose you could say that."