Risk It All

'Fuck Valentine's Day' Murphy had thought as he put a tall glass to his lips and took a sip of his beer staring at the familiar green walls of McGinty's.

"Cheer up brudder, ye gonna get wrinkles frownin' all ta time like t'at." Connor told his twin as he had turned his gaze from Rocco to Murphy noticing his scowl.

"Ye t'at is real fuckin' easy for ye ta say innit?" Murphy retorted as he continued to sip his beer while Connor rolled his eyes. It seemed like Murphy had seen the walls of McGinty's the last couple of days, more so than his usual. Still keeping up with their usual regime of mainly just sleeping at their apartment, this time the nights spent at McGinty's was not of joy. Besides attending regular morning mass, Murphy had no other desire to do anything productive besides drink beer and talk to Doc. It had been his only main distraction from thinking about her. Even work was starting to becoming mundane and the flare for socialization was lacking on the Irishman's part.

Murphy had did his best to listen to Connor's advice and give Nolee her space, despite the many many times he had felt inclined to show up at her door. The frustrating urge to make amends and just continue on with how they were. A part of him desperate enough to just wanting to know if she was okay, even if she was content being without him, at least was okay. But if Connor had been correct with his advice to give her space. How much time did she need?

The unanswered question made him swallow his beer more quicker. At least the beer had been a temporary solution to numbing his feelings. It was better than being alone in his thoughts at the apartment, it was then that Murphy began to see how Nolee felt. A churn in his stomach began at the mentioning of her name, it was becoming hard to even say it anymore.

"I'm not tryin' ta rub it in ye face Murph." Connor assured gently referring to the decent mood he had been in. For the first time Valentine's Day hadn't been so bad thanks to spending the evening with Kira beforehand. Murphy hadn't paid all that much attention to his brother's courting to begin with. He had been happy Connor finally started to show some interest in a woman, but ironic it had now felt like a slap in the face. That said woman happened to be the best friend of the girl who currently had his heart in a vice grip.

"Ye, ye." Murphy shrugged as his eyes had absentmindedly watched the television.

"Look Murph...I know I said maybe ye need to give her some space...but perhaps it's best now ye consider lettin' her go." Connor whispered having tried to give the small girl the benefit of the doubt. But the more she remained MIA the more Connor could see Murphy falling apart. Connor couldn't also help but feel hurt at the girl's actions. The beginning had been rocky between them but Nolee managed to impress him and it seemed like things had actually started to turn out for the better. Murphy was genuinely happy and Connor had even become fond of the girl himself. Now, all of them were back at square one like Connor had initially feared deep down.

Connor could see the suggestion hadn't sat well with Murphy as his posture stiffened. As much as he wanted to hope for the best and see things end well for his brother, it was becoming increasingly difficult watching Murphy become detached. Even when he was around him and Rocco he barely felt like his twin was really there. It worried him to wonder how much worse his twin could possibly get the more time that went on.

"Ye...maybe..." was all Murphy had replied with pondering the idea that perhaps Connor had been right. Attempting to distract himself once more Murphy forced himself participate in the conversation Rocco and Connor had been making with Doc. The more time that had passed Murphy began to think about the suggestion more and more. As much as it fucking hurt inside to think about moving on with his life, maybe it was for the best. Maybe he did need to let her go if it was what she truly wanted. The memories they had managed to create in a short time, needed to be put aside.

But just when Murphy began to feel comfortable with the idea, a strange feeling had suddenly overcome, stopping him. His face hardening as the feeling spread throughout his body, a sensing of something happening. A strange feeling indicating he needed to leave, now.

"Murph you okay?" Rocco questioned raising an eyebrow as he studied the Irishman.

"No...no I'm not. I need to go." Murphy replied standing up from the barstool without another word and began to walk away from the bar.

"Murphy-"

"Don't try and stop me Connor." Murphy warned to the other Irishman who only put a hand up in surrender.

"I'm not...I'm comin' with ye." Connor answered knowingly as Murphy knew whatever he had just felt, Connor felt it too. Murphy only nodded at his brother thankfully before the two began to make their way over to Nolee's apartment. Knocking on the door frantically the boys waited for a response.

"Nolee, if you're in t'ere open up, now." Murphy demanded. When there was no response the boys looked at each worriedly.

"I'm about to kick ta damn door down."

"Murphy, relax." Connor replied as his twin continued to knock frantically.

"What in heaven's name is going on out here...Murphy? Connor?" Alice suddenly appeared from across the way having heard the banging come out her front door.

"Alice?" the brothers had replied in surprised unison. "Ye live here?"

"Yes boys, I do." Alice informed them before narrowing her eyes. "Now what's going on? I thought you both would be at the hospital by now." she added in confusion.

"Hospital? Why?" Murphy questioned worriedly.

"Because Nolee's water broke Murphy, she's about to give birth."

"WHAT?!"

"Oh shit..."

__________

"Ow!" Nolee cried out as another contraction ran through her, getting stronger each time. Everything seemed to be happening so fast as she watched nurses prepare the machines around her. This was not like the movies she'd seen or tv shows. There was no exciting anticipation or funny jokes radiating in the air, the small girl had been inevitably scared shitless.

"Breathe Miss Wade, it's going to be okay. You're going to meet your baby soon." a nurse had kindly soothed her. Anxiousness ran throughout the small girl's body trying to handle what has happening. After all it was finally the moment she'd been nervously waiting for, yet a sense of sadness had overcome her. Still not being able to get a hold of Kira and not wanting to make Alice have to do more than she already had, Nolee had been forced to prepare herself to giving birth alone. Just like the way she had originally planned to in the very beginning.

"Patient is 5 cm dilated." she had heard another nurse. "This labor is moving fast."

'This is really it. I'm doing this alone like I thought I would.' Nolee thought herself as she exhaled a deep breath and tried to cope with the pain remembering what the labor classes taught her, but nothing could've actually prepare her for this moment. A sudden eruption of yelling behind the door had made her lift her head up confused.

'Sir you're not permitted to go back there!'

'Oh ye? Fuckin' watch me!'

she heard the familiar voice reply as her eyes widened. Not a second sooner had the door burst open and a gasp escaped the small girl's mouth.

"Startin' ta show without me aye?" Murphy panted trying to catch his breath.

"Murphy...?" she whispered tearfully. "How did you know I was here?" she questioned shocked as Murphy walked over to the bed.

"I just knew. I told ye before ye ain't gettin' rid of me just yet." Murphy whispered as he interlaced his hand in hers. The nerves and hormones had made the tears leak out her eyes as she smiled in relief seeing him beside her again.

"Alright, now that everyone's here...let's deliver this baby safe and healthy." the male doctor declared awkwardly as Nolee looked up at Murphy.

"Murphy I'm so scared." she whimpered as he only put his forehead to hers and squeezed her hand.

"It's okay love, I'm right here. Where I've always been." he whispered making her break down in sobs.

"I'm sorry." she whimpered once more as Alice's voice had popped into her head.

"I know lass."

"Murphy...I love you. So much." she confessed as the admission made his eyes widen in surprise but a smile soon spread across his face.

"I love ye too. Now let's do t'is."

___

Several more hours of very painful contractions, cursing, screaming (some from Murphy), Murphy almost passing out, and three long pushes later; suddenly all the pain had vanished as the sound of a little cry had been heard.

"Congratulations, it's a girl." the doctor smiled while Nolee was unable to contain the tears as she watched the mysterious life in her stomach being lifted into the air. As she was taken away momentarily to be cleaned off, Nolee fell back against the bed panting all around a sweaty mess. A still stunned Murphy stood frozen, horrified at having just witnessed the miracle of childbirth.

"I can't believe t'at just fuckin' happened!" he cried out making some nurses gasp.

"Language Mr. MacManus." one nurse had scolded as Nolee couldn't help but laugh despite her exhaustion. The nurses had soon come back with a pink and blue swaddled bundle.

"Miss Wade...meet your baby girl." the blonde nurse smiled as she placed the bundle in Nolee's arms. Nolee gasped softly as she stared at the small dark haired fair skinned newborn.

"Oh my god..." Nolee whispered emotional while the newborn had looked up at her curiously, little eyes trying to adjust to the bright lights.

"Ye did it lass...look at her, she's beautiful." Murphy whispered equally infatuated. A calming sensation of peace had washed over Nolee as she studied her daughter. The baby had seemed to look a lot like Tristan, but that did not matter to Nolee. All she could see was a beautiful life in her arms, a beautiful gift that had come from a bad situation. Everything in her life had seemed to come full circle in that moment. All the bad things that she had endured, its plaguing had officially ceased. There had been a light at the end of the tunnel after all, there was hope.

"That's your name." Nolee spoke to the newborn smiling. "Ruby for your grandma...and Hope...because that's what you given me. Ruby Hope." she declared proudly.

"Wee little Ruby Hope." Murphy whispered looking at Nolee. "She's perfect." he added making Nolee shift her focus to him.

"Thank you." she replied quietly. "For being here."

"Where else would I be?" Murphy answered equally quiet. They stared at each other briefly before both their yearning had won and Murphy connected his lips to hers. Nolee smiled in relief to finally feel his lips against hers again, savoring the moment and did not dare pull away.

And it was official just a day after Valentine's Day and two weeks before her due date, Ruby Hope had come into the world at 6 pounds 8 ounces, 19 inches long. All 10 fingers and toes Nolee had never known such perfection could exist, much less be the one to create it. After gushing over Ruby for a while longer and feeding her, the newborn had went to sleep quietly in the bassinet next to her mother. Murphy's hand had brushed through her hair as he laid next to her in the hospital bed silently, the exhaustion taking a toll on her.

"Who gave ye ta right ta be so beautiful?" Murphy whispered with a light smirk while she scoffed.

"The birth must've traumatized you enough to temporarily have vision problems Irishman, I'm a gross mess."

"Ye a bad ass t'at just suffered a lot of pain ta birth another life, I think ye are entitled ta be Miss Wade." Murphy reasoned causing her to blush.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away again." Nolee whispered after a while. "But I overheard the guys at the bar talking about you, they said you were crazy to be someone who wasn't even having your kid. That you were throwing your life away by being with me, and I don't know their words just got to me. I felt like they right. Murphy you are the most amazing person I've ever known, you've changed my life completely, and if it wasn't for you...I don't know what might've happened with Tristan when he came back for me." she sighed and wincing at the thought. "I felt guilty that I dragged you into my past. The more I thought about it, the more I felt like you deserved better than me and all my issues."

"Don't ye ever think t'at ye hear me." Murphy replied firmly. "Ye were never a burden ta me Nolee, ye are ta most amazin' thing in me life, don't ever question it."

"I'm sorry I hurt you." she replied crying in guilt again. "I know now that you mean so very much to me, and there's absolutely no one else I want beside me than you Murphy."

"Ta feeling is mutual me love and hey, you're supposed ta be happy right now, we can talk about everythin' later okay? For now I think ye should get some rest, ye deserve it. But I have ta say lass, I don't know if I can look at your womanly parts ta same." Murphy lamented.

"Really Murphy?"

"I'm just kiddin'...sort of." Murphy replied squinting his eyes.

"Oh Murphy," Nolee sighed at her peculiar but beloved Irishman, but didn't hide the smile on her face as he kissed her nose.

"Get some sleep."

"What about Ruby?"

"I got her if she wakes up. Besides, she has a very impatient uncle ta meet." Murphy sighed as Nolee laughed slightly imagining Connor impatient in the waiting room most likely harassing the staff.

"Okay." Nolee obliged unable to deny sleeping sound heavenly right now. She closed her eyes as Murphy's hand had carried on stroking her hair, his warm touch relaxing her to sleep just as it always had.

__

The sound of Ruby crying had made Nolee's eyes flutter open instinctively. As she slowly raised herself from the bed which wasn't much considering the soreness had now kicked in she had relaxed some hearing Murphy's voice.

"Aye, what's ta matter little one?" Murphy asked softly as he picked Ruby out of her bassinet. "T'at better?" he cooed while adjusting her in his arms and began rocking her gently. "So you be ta one t'at kicked me in ta face." he added with a slight chuckle. "Ye had quite ta night didn't ye? Look at all t'at hair, ye beautiful just like ye Ma." Murphy gushed as his finger stroked her cheek.

"All this world probably seems scary ta ye, but don't worry ye in good hands. Ye mother is ta most amazin' woman I know, she'll take great care of ye alright? She's sacrificed a lot already."

"I have ta tell ye little one, t'is world is not always kind. There's a lot of bad things out there, but there's also a lot of good things too, and ye got ta remember ta always focus on t'at. A lot of those good things come when ye least expect it, just like ye Ma. I didn't know how much good could come until I met her, and I'll even tell ye a secret: when I first laid me eyes on her, I knew I was in trouble. I knew when she looked at me t'at me life wasn't gonna be ta same, and I was right. Even though she didn't seem ta like me at first. Guess I grew on her aye?" Murphy added with another small chuckle making Nolee quietly laugh to herself.

"Ye Ma thinks ta both of ye would an be imposition on me because we haven't known each other long...but ta truth is ye both make me life better. Other than tryin' ta be a decent human being, I never really felt like I had much purpose in me life...until now. Sometimes things happen t'at are beyond ye control, but ye can't fight it. Ye gotta accept it and let it flourish, for sometimes it might just work out better than ye can ever plan." he spoke softly to Ruby who watched him intently while Nolee listened to him with tears in her eyes.

"Ye know Ruby I might not be your biological Da but t'at doesn't matter. I won't treat ye any differently, I'll love ye as me own and I'll protect ye no matter what. I promise I'll always be here for you and ye Ma. Ta bad news is that you'll unfortunately have a very annoying uncle, so my apologies little one. But I hope it's okay with ye I stick around." Murphy added as his finger had lightly caressed her little hand before Ruby wrapped her hand around his finger, squeezing it. Murphy smiled largely as they continued to stare at one another. Nolee silently cried and smiled at the confirmation that the two of them had their own bond all along.

She didn't know what she had done right along the way to deserve Murphy, but now that she had him back again, there was no way in hell she was going to let him go.