Leb Die Sekunde

I fucked up. Did I fuck? I think I fucked up. No I didn’t. I’m pretty sure after last night, there’s no turning back. The question on everyone’s mind right now: Are Tom and I back together? Surely, this question was being asked all night. Why? Once Tom and I had left the room, through out the night we kept sharing glances and trying to steal kisses when we thought no one was looking. Well we thought wrong.

Surely, as we all know, I couldn’t forgive Tom. But deep down inside, I knew I did. Im even wondering myself if Tom and I were back together. We didn’t discuss this, we just kinda ..Oh forget it. I’m confusing myself too much and the last thing I want to do is think too hard.

I was in my apartment alone, having nothing to do. Deciding to go out shopping, I called none other than Bill. He was a perfect shopping buddy and not mention my baby’s daddy’s twin brother. If anyone, he could he me figure out the mess in my head.

“Hello?”

“Bill!”

“Yes?”

“Meet me at the plaza, two o’clock sharp! I really need comfort and someone to talk to.”

“Sorry liebe, the guys and I got called on a last minute interview.”

“Then who’s Hayden going to be with?”

“Us.”

“You guys just cant keep taking her to interviews. People are going to think I’m a bad mother even more, not watching my child and it seeming like I’ve got something better to do so I force her to go.”

“Then come to the interview.”

“Nein!”

“Why?”

“Because the last time I did I almost got attacked by fan girls!”

“Its called security.”

“Ugh, but you guys are not bringing Hayden or I out.”

“Deal. Meet us at the Hutchens Studio in an hour.” and with that, the younger Kaulitz twin had hung up on me. Irritated, I screamed. I did not want to see Tom just yet. I huffed and went to my closet to find something decent for today’s weather. Just yesterday, it was bright and sunny. Today, it was cold and damp. I managed to pull out a pair of faded denim jeans, a white long sleeve and a tan vest. I slipped on some tan uggs and managed to brush my tangled hair to its natural state. Being nice, I put on my locket once again and added a few bracelets and a ring to accessorize.

Hutchens Studio was only 20 minutes downtown but took me longer than that to get there due to insane traffic which somehow seemed ridiculous for the weather today. It took an idiot to drive on the freeway in the rain but I wad in a rush, which made me a moron.

I pulled up into the lot and texted Georg to come out back and get me. Within five minutes, I found the muscular boy running to the door and letting me in. I smiled and gave him a hug before he had led me in to the green room, where the rest of the band was waiting.

“Your late.” Bill piped when I walked. I rolled my eyes and sneaked a glance at Tom before answering Bill. I shrugged and sat down on an open seat next to Gustav and watched my baby play with her toys.

“I tried to hurry, but there was traffic.”

“You took the freeway?” Tom asked.

“Moron.” Gustav mumbled.

“Hey!“ I elbowed him in the ribs and immediately regretted it. He grabbed arm and twisted it before I could pull back.

“Ow! You beast let go.” I managed to twist my body and some how kick him where men don’t like to be kicked. A loud groan emerged from his lips and he let go before doubling over in his chair.

“That’s something Hayden shouldn’t have seen.” Tom said as the little girl stared in shock at what her mother had done. After all, in her eyes, mommy couldn’t hurt a fly.

“Oops, Hayden what mommy did, ya don’t ever do that to daddy or any of your uncles. It hurts.” I said and picked her up and placed her on my lap.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because it gives them an owwie.”

“Why?”

“Because it hurts.”

“Why?”

“Ugh, never mind!” I groaned. Of course, this was the stage of child hood every parent hated. One simple word drove them mad, just as it was doing to me right now. Much to the boys amusement, I gave up on telling her what not to do for the moment. We looked up as we heard a knock on a door and a man walking in.

“Guys, your up.” he said. I looked over at Gustav who was still doubled over in pain and looked at Georg.

“Did I hurt him that bad?”

“Ugh, yes you did.” Gustav said getting up and adjusting his junk when Hayden was not looking. I laughed and set her down and hugged him.

“I’m sorry Gussi.”

“All is forgiven.” he said still holding himself.

“I’ll be there in a sec, I need to do something.” Tom said. The man nodded and huddled the boys out of the room. Tom looked at Hayden playing on the floor for a moment while I sat back down uncomfortably. Finally, he looked at me and held my gaze.

“What does this mean for us Emily, I need to know.”

‘Tom, last night-”

“Was one of the happiest nights of my life. I don’t want just a happy night Emily, I want a happy life. I want to be together and I know you do too, even if you wont admit it to me. We can’t keep doing stuff like this and giving mixed signals each other and to our daughter. It’s unhealthy to confuse her.” he said. I pondered the thought for a few minutes and sighed.

“Tom, if we try to work this out. We need to start fresh. All grudges need to be lifted except you are not going to be easily let right again once away. You need to prove to me that you can be a proper father and boyfriend and show me that you would truly deeply care about your family then just say it. Nothing is easier said than done.” I said and stood up to look him in the eyes and show him how serious I meant to be. He shook his head and placed his hand on my cheek, his turn to look me in the eyes.

“Emily, I promise you I’m different. I want to be there for you and Hayden. I promise you that I will work my hardest to maintain the life of my career and family. I believe I can and will be a proper father and boyfriend. I know I can. But Emily, you’ve already opened my eyes so much and I do look at my life on a different perspective. Thank you Emily, for so much.” he said and placed a gentle kiss on my lips and smiled.

“Cooties!” Hayden squeaked. We both burst into laughter. Tom picked Hayden up off the floor and gave her multiple kisses on the cheek and fore head.

“Daddy will be back in a little bit baby, be good for mama.” he smiled and handed her to me before exiting the room. I smiled and stared off at the man who had once again, captured my heart.