Best of Me

The restaurant was quiet, and the lighting was dim, creating a romantic atmosphere. It would have been really nice, but Brian wasn’t focused on that right now. He chugged practically the entire glass of water, growing increasingly nervous. He performed music on stage in front of thousand of people, but this was enough to cripple him.

Brian looked at Michelle as she read over the menu, his leg bouncing rapidly. He must have thought about the many ways he could break the news to her, but all those thoughts went completely out the window. He still loved Michelle and he knew this was going to hurt her.

“Bri, what’s got you so riled up? You’re practically shaking the whole table.” Michelle asked, smiling at him as she set down her menu. Before Brian could say anything, the waiter came over to take their order.

Michelle ordered her usual salad and Brian settled on some pasta. He hated the fact that she always got a salad anytime they went out to eat. She ate more balanced meals at home, but it was always a salad whenever they were at a restaurant. He shook his head, knowing that her eating habits were not something he wanted or needed to discuss with her.

“So, I think I worked stuff out with work so I can come on tour with you guys next time.” Michelle informed causing Brian to nearly choke on his water. He had completely forgotten that they were talking about her joining them for tour at some point. He didn’t think anything would come out of it because she had work.

“Listen, before we make any solid plans, I need to tell you something.” Brian breathed softly, thankful that they were in a quiet restaurant so there wouldn’t be a big scene. Michelle could sense where this was going, so she held a hand out to stop him from continuing.

“Look, whatever happened while we were broken up, I can move past it. It’s been eight weeks, it’s fine.”

The waited brought their food to them and Brian thanked him. Michelle was not making this any easier.

“I appreciate that, Michelle, but it’s a lot more complicated than that.” Brian started, nervously picking at his pasta. Michelle cocked an eyebrow, waiting for him to continue.

“The party that Matt and Val had,” Brian paused, bracing himself for the reaction Michelle was sure to have, “I slept with Kat.”

Michelle watched him expressionless as she set down her fork. She couldn’t really say that she was surprised. She knew that Brian and Kat were close, and they had been for so long, something was bound to happen between them at some point.

“I’m not really surprised. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not happy about it. I feel like I’m always competing with her. But she is your best friend, so I don’t really blame you for turning to her for some form of comfort. It’ll take me some time, but I think we can get through it.”

If Brian wasn’t struggling before, he was now. He was glad that she was taking it well so far, but he knew that wasn’t going to last. He wished that she would just flip out on him now, it would almost be easier than this.

“Before you say that, I just want you to know that I do love you and I’m so fucking sorry for all the problems that we’ve had. I know that I could have done some things differently. And what I’m about to say, I wouldn’t blame you if you never want to see or talk to me again; I don’t expect you to. Kat just found out she’s pregnant, and it’s mine.”

Michelle felt like her entire world just got rocked. Not only did her boyfriend sleep with someone else, but he got her pregnant. She didn’t know if she should be sad or angry or what. She supposed she was a mix of everything, especially shocked. Pushing the plate away, she leaned back in the booth.

“Are you fucking serious? I can get over you sleeping with her because she was there for you after we broke up, but this? Brian, I’ve put up with her because she means a lot to you. How the hell am I supposed to deal with this? What am I even supposed to say here?”

“I don’t expect you to do anything. I know that I hurt you and I get that this probably isn’t something you can just get over. However, this is actually happening, and I decided that I’m going to be there for Kat. The only thing I ask is that you don’t ask me to walk away from her.”

Michelle remained quiet for a few moments, her mind processing everything that Brian had told her. Her first reaction was to be mad, to throw a screaming fit, to make a scene. However, she couldn’t bring herself to do that. She was hurt, that much was true, but more importantly, she was tired. She was tired of trying to make this relationship last; it was like kicking a dead horse.

She and Brian had loved each other in the beginning, but somewhere along the lines, that love was lost. They were both too stubborn to admit they failed in their relationship, but this was the final push they needed to end it. They would always love each other, Michelle knew that, but it just wasn’t in the same way anymore. And she knew why, she had seen it coming a long time ago.

“This has to be the end, Brian. We can’t keep doing this, for both our sanity. You’re about to take on a huge responsibility, the last thing you need is to be fighting with me every other day. And I’m not just saying this because Kat’s pregnant. We’ve been holding onto this relationship, this idea, and it’s not healthy. We just don’t love each other the same way anymore, and that’s okay. You might not realize it yet, but your heart has belonged to someone else for a long time now. I’ll always be your friend and I’ll always be here if you need me, but we have to stop doing this to ourselves.”

Brian watched her with sad eyes, knowing she was speaking the truth. He was still unsure of his feelings for Kat, but he knew that Michelle was right. They had been holding onto each other for too long, knowing that their relationship was at a dead end. It was a bittersweet moment for him as he watched Michelle gather up her belongings.

As she stood from the table, he stood with her. He hugged her, thanking her for ever putting up with him in the first place. He apologized once more as he kissed her cheek. After Michelle had left the restaurant, Brian took care of the check, not having much of an appetite anymore. He felt a weight lift from his shoulders, grateful that Michelle had taken this as well as she did.

Brian knew he couldn’t go home tonight, not while Michelle was still there. He didn’t feel like talking with the guys right now, so he found himself driving to the only place he wanted to be right now.