Postcard Burnt in Flames

Jac*

I had wondered what was taking so long upstairs, my nerves feeding my imagination lies. Not able to withstand another minute of them alone, I went to the front desk to make a call to Kay’s room. The phone just rang and rang, so I decided to rejoin Mige and Linde in the lobby. The coffee had I had gathered was probably cold by now. I saw people exiting the elevator and a cap in the distance. I breathed a sigh of relief and hurried toward it. It was him and when he saw me, he smiled. He motioned for a coffee but instead leaned in and kissed me. My face was red as people were around, not least my cousin and his friends. I wanted to get lost in an endless timeframe but the two days we had left was never far from my mind.

“So what’s on the agenda?” Mige asked taking a coffee and smiling weakly when he realized it was cold. I offered an apologetic smile but he looked from Kay to Ville and dropped his eyes.
Was I missing something? My anxiety from earlier returned and I felt a bit sick.

“Why don’t we catch the ferry and find out,” Linde said. He had been ready to leave since he got to the hotel. Mige gestured toward the door and Ville fell into step beside me and Kay joined Linde up front.

“How did you sleep?” Ville asked.
“I think alright,” I said biting my lip. I wanted to ask what took ten minutes to get Kay and I was still thrown off my Mige’s look.
“I think you will enjoy today. Any idea yet if I can steal you away?” he asked and I noticed we were falling further behind the group.
“I-,” but I was cut off my a flash and then a glare against my sunglasses.
Linde had stopped our brigade and Ville took on a light smile, but he seemed annoyed beneath it.
“Just give me a minute, kulta,” he said and went over to where two men stood speaking to Linde. They were having a conversation in Finnish, nothing I could follow. I decided to take the moment and ask Kay about her morning.

“Hey.” She seemed distant.
“Hi,” she said but her eyes were fixated on the interview.
“So uhm, how was your morning?” I asked as I followed her gaze. I didn’t know what was so riveting.
“It was fine. Slept short and the coffee was cold,” she said with a smile as she looked at me. “Do you think you could get used to this?” she asked as she continued gazing.
“Used to what?” I asked.
“The fame, the..lifetsyle,” she breathed.
“I mean it was probably crazier for them ten years ago and they did a farewell tour two years ago. I suspect it is not like it was, but it comes with the territory,” I said reasserting myself.
“I think they will always be famous here,” she said almost in awe. “Do you think you could actually teach me a bit about them, the music?” she asked.
I wanted to ask why, I wanted to know why she was so interested. I knew he was captivating but when he kissed her, did she feel what I felt?
“I suppose I could, if it was prudent to do so,” I answered.
“Prudent? Jac, nothing in life is ever prudent. With no risk, there is no happiness,” she said and looked me straight in the eyes. “What would you really risk for him?” she asked gesturing toward the interview and I knew what she meant.
I knew he was and would always be famous. Perhaps it was better now than what it had been. But could I cope with that? It wasn’t that I was controlling or demanding of his time, but I knew being in the limelight took a toll on a person. People changed and some people weren’t cut out for it. Was she trying to compare us?
Linde beckoned for Kay to join him beside Ville and she shot me the same confused expression that was on my face. I stepped closer to hear the interview.

“He would like to know your favorite song,” Linde said to her.
“My favorite song?” Kay stuttered and shot me a look of genuine panic. Right then and there I burst out laughing. It was rare to see her caught off guard. She laughed a bit too before answering.

“I really like the music on Razorblade Kiss,” she answered sheepishly.
“The fucking song,” Ville said and laughed.
I was taken aback. How did she know any of their music?
“And Jac, what is your favorite?” Linde called out to me. I was supposed to be the non-fan but I didn’t want to play that angle anymore.
“Currently, Venus Doom, but I also will always appreciate the instrumentals on Sleepwalking Past Hope,” I answered and Ville raised his eyebrows.
“I’m currently enjoying RHIMA,” Ville piped up and shot me a look.
Kay looked confused.
“A bit pretentious?” I asked with a coy smile.
“Hardly,” Ville smirked back.
His brows furrowed still and I realized there would need to be an explanation.
“So, you are?” the interviewer asked Kay who was standing next to Linde.
“A very good friend,” Linde said and smiled at him.
The interviewer seemed to take the cue to back down but still looked from Kay to Linde and then Ville to me.
I dismissed myself from the group but Kay stuck rooted to her spot and I was torn between eavesdropping and not making a scene. I stood for almost fifteen minutes longer as Mige, Linde, and Ville were interviewed and at times Kay jumped in but it was too windy outside to hear anything.

I heard a ferry whistle, just as Linde did. The group said good-bye to the two men and walked in my direction.

“You should have stuck around darling,” Ville said as he joined my pace.
“Ville, I thought I mentioned I don’t like that word,” I said mockingly.
“You are the fan then,” he said and put his hand on my arm to slow me down.
“Yes,” I said looking up at him but the sun was in my eyes so I couldn’t read his expression.
“So you know everything about me then?” he asked and the group was at the ferry entrance.
“Not everything, mostly just the music,” I said and it was the truth. As much as I might know about his professional life, there were many things I didn’t know about him.
“And your cousin?” he asked.
“Doesn’t know much,” I said.
“So it was your shirt that you were wearing in the lobby,” he smiled deviously.
“Yes Ville that was my shirt.”
“You have nice legs,” he said quickly and then sauntered on ahead of me.

My cheeks were on fire by time I caught up to everyone.
“Too much sun?” Mige asked as he took in my appearance.
“Something like that,” I said with an impish grin.
“So where are we going?” Kay asked as she combed her fingers through her hair.
“Suomenlinna,” Linde answered as we stood against the rails and the ferry readied for departure.
Kay fielded questions on the short journey there while Linde divulged multiple facts about Finland. I knew a lot of it and took the opportunity to bask in the sun. A little tan wouldn’t hurt.
“What are you thinking about?” Mige asked as he came to stand next to me.
“Nothing in particular, just enjoying the view,” I admitted.
“I think Ville is too,” Mige chuckled causing me to turn around. Ville had been eyeing us from afar but turned to go inside when he caught me staring.
“So Mige, what were you thinking about earlier?” I asked him.
“Hmmm?” he asked shying away from my question.
“I noticed your strange look from Kay to Ville earlier,” I prompted as I turned away from the sea and to his attention.
“Oh it was nothing,” he said but his eyes said anything but.
“Okay…well I was honest about what I was thinking,” I said with a bit of frustration.
“It’s just-well I think your cousin may be interested in Ville. He’s attracted his fair share of young women lately. It would just be an interesting dynamic if you both liked him, probably not a good dynamic but an interesting one,” he said with a small laugh.
I had the same thought about Kay but didn’t think Ville reciprocated it.
“What do you mean by fair share?” I asked Mige as my mind clouded.
Mige looked at me and laughed.
“You shouldn’t worry so much. He’s had a few relationships the last few years with most under the age of thirty. But it never turned into anything too serious. He’s pushing 44 this fall. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the new teeth that have done the trick,” Mige said.
I had to laugh. It was very noticeable that Ville’s teeth had changed. Not that I found fault with his previous veneers, but at least it didn’t change his smile too much.
“Do you think he’s – would he be interested in my cousin?” I asked bluntly.
“You could ask him for yourself,” Mige said with a wink and excused himself as moments later Ville stood next to me, a water bottle in his hand. I didn’t know how to interpret our conversation.
“Ville,” I said as he came nearer.
“Yes, kulta,” he asked.
“What is this kulta thing you keep calling me?” I said distracted momentarily.
He bit his lip and I noticed his cap was gone, his curls tumbling over his face.
“You never should have buzzcut your hair, it looked horrendous,” I said and found my fingers reaching for his face. Age couldn’t change the appeal he oozed.
“Kulta is a bit like darling, but in Finnish,” Ville said as my fingers stopped.
“Oh Ville, no,” I said in jest. He laughed and I had to stop myself. I took a step back and let it sink in that he here he was in front of me.
“But I don’t think that’s what you wanted to ask me,” he said.
“Do you, would you, are you, am I, are you interested in anyone else?” I asked point blank.
“Well yes, Mige and I have an understood agreement that if we aren’t married by 50, I belong to him.” His wicked smile was so unsettling.
“I’m being serious. You were gone so long earlier and my head was exploding,” I admitted.
Ville sighed and his playful nature dropped.
“Jac, in my world little things can be misconstrued. You’ll think something is true and it’s not.”
“Like a mirage?” I asked trying to follow his metaphor.
“Yes. I had an almost moment with your cousin the first night and I wanted to make sure that by pursuing my interests, I wasn’t going to be causing trouble. Which undoubtedly I may.”
“An almost moment?” I asked.
“Yes, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and those curious eyes of yours. Eyes that say everything before your mouth ever does. But I didn’t know where you stood. You just looked at me as if I was the strangest man alive. A man has needs and while your cousin is beautiful, getting caught up in a moment because I know I could kiss someone, isn’t generally my taste, also knowing I didn’t want to kiss anyone beside you.”
“Do you rehearse these romantic speeches? I swear Hollywood could use your playbook,” I answered jokingly because I was too shy to say anything else.
Ville sighed in frustration.
“I am just teasing you Ville,” I said softly. “I won’t play from the sidelines for you. I want to be present, here and now in this.”
My hands reached for his. He opened his hand to mine.
“On one condition do I accept these terms,” he said slowly.
“Any condition. I’ll abide by it,” I said as his mouth took on the most mischievous grin.
“You’re coming for dinner at my place, tonight kulta.”
The knot in my stomach tightened.
“I don’t play from the sidelines either,” he whispered into my ear and then kissed my neckline softly but quickly. The ferry sounded in sync with the loud beating in my chest. Ville stood assuredly obvious to the way he undid my nerves. He started to walk toward the exit ramp when I called after him. I had found a small alcove by the wall that afforded more privacy.
“Kulta, can you help me a moment,” I called to him. before we walked toward the exit ramp.
“Yes?” Ville asked and I heard him jogging back to me. “Where are you?” he asked.
“Here,” I called from my hiding place.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I want to tell you something,” I said quietly and his face was completely perplexed as he leaned into me.
“I don’t think you know what you’re up against,” I said in my best seductive voice as I trailed my mouth down his ear and bit his ear lobe. I could scream in embarrassment at myself for trying to be slick.
Ville chuckled. “Oh, but I do.” He pressed me against the wall and kissed his mouth to mine. There was a hunger between us and I lost myself in our makeout session as I pulled away to gasp for air.
“Do you?” he asked and kissed me one last time before leaving me and my jagged breathing.