Postcard Burnt in Flames

I didn’t stare at him as I puffed out.
“I’m trying to quit, you know,” I said as the cigarette dangled between my fingers.
“We all are, darling,” he laughed.
“Darling,” I said using my fingers as air quotations. Ville raised his eyebrows. He called everyone that. I wasn’t sure why I was so annoyed. If it was the alcohol, the fact that Kay always upstaged me, or that I didn’t know how to act around him. I was definitely being a cunt.
“Would you prefer I call you something else?” he challenged.
“Well yes, you call everyone darling,” I said stepping off the patio. He followed.

“Which would you prefer then? Dildo hands? Gin alcoholic? Midnight goth? Sex goddess?”
I was fuming at his suggestions but the last one made me laugh uproariously.

“Sex goddess?” I laughed, choking on the cigarette air. I had tears coming out of my eyes.
“Well you seem to be fond of having your hands full of –“
I laughed, “Full of?” I asked daring him as I turned around to face him for the first time. He was also wearing black with a navy blazer. I could feel my body working up to a challenge. If sarcasm was to be played like ping-pong, he was in for a game.

“You clearly were purchasing quite the assortment of tools and to find you in a bar with a dick wiggling on the table as you two throw bracelets at it. That is quite eye-catching.”

“Oh, I think we all know what was eye-catching to you,” I dared to say, feeling a growing confidence.

“That game –“

“Bullshit. I could tell from a hundred yard line that your eyes were ogling my cousin!”

“She’s attractive, yes, but –“

“But my name is Ville and I won’t admit that I find someone attractive, it might ruin my mysterious persona.”

“Darling, you’re –“

“Darling, darling, darling! My god you’d be perfect in a Jane Austen novel, Mr. Darcy.”

We had been standing a few feet away from each other and in the dim light of the patio, I couldn’t read his facial expression.

“Mr. Darcy?” he asked slightly confused.

“Yes, you know the one in the English novel,” I slurred. I was admittedly more drunk than I thought I was. “The one who is chivalrous – quite like you are at ring toss!” I pretended to throw an invisible bracelet at an invisible dick yonder. Ville only watched my charade.

“I seem to have one last shot at getting this circle around the plastic phallic shape, “wiggling” on that bar there. The indecency of me!” I was borrowing his words and mimicking Kay. I pulled a hair tie off of my wrist and sauntered to Ville. “Here you hold this,” I said and took a few steps backward trying to remember how Kay had stumbled earlier. Telling your body to just fall, was not a natural feat. I decided to just wing it.

“Now, before I fall, you are meant to catch me,” I instructed to Ville.
“Am I?” he asked.
“Yes, of course, now where was I?” I practiced taking some steps and trying to fall, but my body wouldn’t do it. Ville just stood and watched as I heard some chuckling.

“I can do this,” I said to him as I began my pace toward him again.
“I believe in whatever you are trying to do,” he said at the last minute as a panic seized me.
I had finally let go of my natural instinct not to fall and I was falling over. Did he not know I was falling? The realization mid-fall made my arms reach out to clutch anything that was nearby, a table, a chair, or a person. I had opted to put a spring in my step in order to force a fall, I would be hitting my entire frontside on concrete if I didn’t grab something. As my arms hot upward into empty air, a fist grabbed at my shirt and yanked me to a standing position. It was a strong pull. I was brought uncomfortably close to his face. He was pissed.

“What were you doing?” he breathed out and I felt hot air on my face.
“I was falling and you were meant to catch me.”
“I didn’t think you were going to just fling yourself into empty air!”
“I TOLD YOU I would be – wait I wasn’t flinging myself into empty air for no reason.”
“Then what were you doing?” he said quieting his voice after my outburst and he was staring down at me intensely before a sliver of recognition grasped him. He laughed deeply and my heart thudded in my chest. “Ah I see, Mr. Darcy. You were reenacting, ah the jealousy.”

“Jealousy?” I scoffed and placed my hands on his too close chest to back up. But he was correct, it was jealousy. “You are right. I believe Mr. Darcy was a gentleman and there lies the distinction.” I wasn’t making any sense now. I had meant to mock his chivalry but if he was attracted to Kay, would I want her mocking him if it was me? Also it really wasn’t any of my business. I felt stupid and drunk. But Ville seemed to mull over my words.

“A gentleman certainly wouldn’t do this.” He gazed at me and put one hand on the side of my face and then another hand on the other cheek. He held my stare and I believe for the first time in my life, my heart stopped. “No, he certainly wouldn’t. I seem to have disappointed you a lot this evening then. I shall try to uphold the gentleman disposition then.” With that he dropped his hands and walked to the door, holding it open for me. My heart still wasn’t catching up, so my brain went into overdrive to walk myself through that door all whilst not breathing. Once inside, Ville walked back to where we had been sitting. I finally exhaled and I was far too embarrassed to even curse myself.

“There you two are!” Kay exclaimed with relief.
“I think we should call it an evening,” Ville gestured as he grabbed his coat. My shirt was still bunched up from where he had grabbed it, and I smoothed it out. He wouldn’t look at me.

“I’ll go pay before we leave,” I said, glad for any excuse to be out of his presence. I left them talking a few minutes as I waited for the bill.

“Did you have a good evening?” the bartender asked.
“It was enlightening,” Ville answered as he grabbed the bill from my hands.
“Hey, no.” I took out my wallet.
“A gentleman would pay and a lady would oblige,” he taunted me.
“Okay, Ville, screw the 18th century comparisons. Yes, you are a gentleman,” I said becoming annoyed by the whole thing.
“But are you a lady?” he asked as he slid cash toward the bartender. I tried to stop him, but he placed his hand firmly on top of mine.
“What kind of question is that?”
“Does a lady frequent sexual shops and ring-toss with a dildo?”
“Ok smartass. I’ve a headache and the sex shop wasn’t even my idea. I don’t know why I bought the dildo and I didn’t craft the ring-toss idea for it either. So your ‘sex goddess’ is over there.” I pointed to Kay.
“Definitely not a lady for throwing another one under the bus,” he said cheekily but yet seriously.
“I admit my defeat-“
“And walk back home.”
“Okay then, that is my cue to leave.” Kay had left the bar and was no doubt waiting outside.
“No, it’s just your words reminded me of a song,” he explained and for the first time all evening he looked exasperated. I couldn’t tell if it was at me or himself.
“Well I’m glad me and words were put into the same sentence. I’ve obviously now been the opposite of a woman of so few words. This has been – enlightening,” I finished by using his own words.
“I’m Ville,” he said, grabbing my shoulder as I turned.
“And I’m Jaquelyn,” I said matter-of-factly and yet confused, why we were going through introductions.
“I never got to introduce myself earlier,” he explained. “But you seemed to know who I was..”
“We saw you being interviewed earlier,” I lied, not wanting to go down that road tonight.
“And now shall we say good-bye?” I asked with a laugh. His hand was still on my shoulder.
He hesitated. “Sure, who knows, maybe we will run into one another in a sex shop again.”
"I should only be so lucky," I whispered barely audible.

He squeezed my shoulder, "Bye Jac."