Postcard Burnt in Flames

“If you’re going to make her think you’re me, you have to kiss like I do.”
“EW. Ville I am NOT kissing my cousin-“ I had said as I twirled again; the slippery sidewalk causing me to fall mid-sentence.

“Can you breathe?” he asked, never removing his hand from the back of my head.
“What?” I asked, still with my fingers over my eyes. Had I really imagined everything?
“You said you couldn’t breathe and then you were deathly quiet for a few seconds there,” he answered and finally helped me to my feet.
“Did we- had I, what were we discussing?” I asked half wanting it to be a concussed illusion and the other half aching to be kissed by him.
“We were dressing you up as me. I made the joke that you had to know how to kiss like me which startled you and then you fell. Now here we are.”

So we hadn’t kissed. I groaned again; not from the pain but disappointment.

“Should I help you back to the hotel? Do you need a doctor?” he asked all at once.
My head hurt but I knew it was a combination of the emotions of the day and a nice solid whack on the sidewalk. I probably should go to a doctor but I was tired of doing everything I thought I should do.

“No. We will go meet with everyone else. I am fine-just stunned.” I found an odd resilience in my voice.

Ville’s eyes questioned my decision but he didn’t argue as I began to walk in the other direction.
“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Three blocks over. There’s a bar there-but please I don’t think alcohol is the best idea after that accident.”

A health and beauty store stood right across the way and caught my eye.
“You wait here. I am just going to run inside and get some paracetamol. Give me a few minutes.”
Ville nodded as he stood by the doors. My objective was not medicinal.
A saleswoman about my age stood by a beauty counter as I marched purposefully in her direction.
“Hi! Are you still open?” I asked her.
“For another half hour,” she said with a smile. She had a cherubic round face and a sincere smile. I found myself smiling.
“Jac,” I said introducing myself as she motioned for me to sit at the stool by a counter.
“Sarah. How can I help you?” she asked taking in my appearance.
“I desperately need this touched up or fixed as quickly as possible,” I pointed in a circle to my make-up ruined face. “It doesn’t have to be outstanding, just presentable.”
She didn’t ask any questions and got to work. First she removed all the prior make-up and started to apply foundation.
“Shall I cover this up?” she asked and brought a mirror to my face. A fist sized bruise was visible on the side of my temple. A concussion was undoubtedly my diagnosis.
“Yes, I fell in this weather,” I laughed and my eyes went to the door. Her eyes followed. I became cognizant that she might arrive at the wrong conclusion. “I really did fall and I’m desperate to not look like I came from a sewer.” But her assumption was not that as a smirk came to her face.
“Is that Ville Valo?” she stuttered in her question as she moved onto eyeshadow.
“Yes, but this bruise is really-“
“Are you two on a date?” she asked completely not interested in anything else.
“Us?” I laughed and then a weird sadness overcame me. The girl noticed my changed demeanor.
“I didn’t mean to be rude! You’re beautiful-it’s just well he’s Ville Valo! I am a fan,” she laughed at herself.
I held my tongue. I didn’t want to chime in I was too but her eyes held a dozen questions.
I found myself opening up to her with a brief synopsis of the last 24 hours give or take a few details.
“Sorry you fell, I’ll try to cover it as best is possible. These streets can be sleek..” she continued by gazing at her leg. I noticed a bandage around her ankle.
“I hope that heals ok,” I said.
“It will but… you think he’s interested in your cousin?” she said as she put the makeup away.
“I wouldn’t blame him,” I admitted. Kay was a great catch. She mulled over my words and then the edges of her mouth tugged upward.
“I’ve done what I could about the make-up but I have another idea. We don’t have much time. Quickly!” She took my hand and started pulling me toward the bathrooms. I was beyond questioning the day and followed. Once we were inside, she ordered me to take off my shirt.
“Excuse me?”
“Just do it!” She had begun to turn on all four hand dryers and I followed her train of thought.
I put my head under a dryer while she frantically dried my shirt as best as possible. After a few minutes, we at had made some good progress. I put my shirt back on and finally had a good look in the mirror. My make-up was not subtle but not overdone either. My hair had a beach-day waves to it and Sarah took Ville’s blazer sleeves and cuffed them at an angle.
“There, some improvement” she said with another smile.
“Thank you for making me presentable.”
“If I ever got to hang out with one of my favorite musicians, I’d want to look good too. It sounds like your cousin is a nice person but she’s not playing from the sidelines and neither should you. Make your intentions known-you never know. From one fan to another- I’m rooting for you. Now go!” She pushed me out the bathroom door’s and toward the front entrance.
I grabbed a paracetamol and water on the way to the cashier. The woman was cleaning up her workstation.
“Anything else?” the cashier asked.
“Yes, this is for that lovely person over there,” I said sliding fifty euros to him. I walked toward the doors but waited to make sure she got my tip. When she did, she looked my way and flashed a smile with a thumbs up. I needed that guardian angel to get my head back in the game.
Stepping outside, the rain had stopped and a small wind remained. I loved how the air tasted and smelled after a rainfall. Momentarily I had forgotten all of the stress from the day but it came back when Ville stepped from around the corner. He had been smoking.
“How are you feeling?” Ville asked as he took in my appearance with a smile.
I mulled over Sarah’s words as I grabbed a cigarette too.
“Never been better, now let’s go. We are very late.”

“It looks like your cousin wanted to go dancing.” Ville said as he ended a call to Mige to find out where they were.
So much for a laidback evening. I wonder how much Kay had drank. I had imagined a few glasses of wine, some banter, and a chance to make my intentions clear. The problem was, I didn’t know what Kay’s, Ville’s or mine were. Was this drama worth it for a short fling? We had three days left here.
“Where do we have to go then?” I asked him as he pulled up directions.
“We are almost there actually,” he answered as we turned down a street that was filled with a few bars. I certainly didn’t see any clubs.
The bar we strode to had neon lights coming from inside and when Ville opened the door, I heard a band playing and could see people dancing. We wove through the throng near the door until Linde motioned for us over to where everyone was standing at a table.
“Jaaac,” Kay slurred and flung her arms around me. When she was near my ear she whispered, “I had no choice but to get drunk. The trivia questions started and I just wanted to know what kind of woman he liked. It seems to have worked as the questions stopped.”
In spite of her predicament, I was laughing.
“Now that the gang is all here, shall we order a few brewskies?” Mige asked.
I looked around the table. It was Mige and Linde, no Burton or Gas.
“Aren’t we missing a few?” I asked absentmindedly.
“You have more friends joining?” Mige asked directly.
“No but your other bandmates…” I started to say and Kay’s elbow found my rib.
“Oh those two oldies are home. It’s just us five, the new HIM,” Linde chimed in as he made his way to the bar.
“So Kay here is the fan, a million questions about our lead singer. She tells me you haven’t heard of us much,” Mige directed the conversation toward me as Ville took a spot standing between him and I. Ville glanced from him to me.
“What questions would she be asking about me?” Ville asked, changing the topic.
“This one?” Mige said looking at Kay.
“I just wanted to know what you like,” Kay said clearly unashamed. “However you seem to be a man of mystery as little was provided.”
Linde had come back with 10 beers so we didn’t have to make multiple trips.
“So the owner requested if we would sing a song or two,” Linde said to the guys.
“Oh yes!” Kay agreed clearly wanting some alone time with me.
Ville looked uneasy but agreed and walked with Mige and Linde to the stage.
The crowd cheered and the guys broke into laughs.
“Any suggestions?” Ville asked the crowd.
“IN JOY AND SORROW!” someone shouted and the familiar chords started. It sounded a bit different with the other two but the song still found it’s way into my veins.
“I don’t know this,” Kay said, “but what a great way to find out!” She pulled me with her as she pushed through the crowd. We stood as close as possible. I had to stifle the urge to sing along.
Kay just nodded her head and Ville smiled at us as he sang. God, his voice was enough to resurrect every emotion I had. Kay started to get the hang of the lyrics and toward the end Ville was standing right before her as she sang along and he lent her the microphone. Their connection was unnerving me, did I make a play or did I stay to the sidelines.
The next request was Please Don’t Let it Go. Again he stared at Kay and she actually squealed.
“It’s a sign,” she said ecstatically. I didn’t have the heart to burst that joy.
“Because if you won’t let it go, I won’t let it go,” Ville sang and his eyes flickered to mine for the briefest moment.
“Okay last song,” Ville announced as suggestions were screamed.
“I’m picking this one,” he said. He turned around to Mige and Linde before facing the crowd again. The classic chords made the crowd go wild. It was a favorite. I gave up on my vow and started singing with the crowd.
“This is one you should know,” I said to Kay, conceding. She was too busy dancing to hear me.
Ville sang with his eyes closed until the chorus came.
“I’m killing loneliness with you,” he sang as his green eyes pierced mine. I couldn’t look away. He continued to stare straight at me. I glanced at Kay but she was too distracted. I swallowed, trying to get air and make sense. The song finished but Ville halted Mige and Linde from leaving.
“Last one I promise,” Ville said. The crowd didn’t mind.
Venus Doom played and I had decided to not stare intently.
As the song neared the end, I subconsciously felt someone’s eyes on me.
“Watch me fall for you,” Ville sang and he was staring at us.
“Oh my Jac, do you think it means what I think it means?” Kay asked.
“Probably,” I said figuring this was an innuendo remark to her. I removed myself from the dance floor. I ordered a beer on the way out and stood outside the entrance. I needed a smoke to clear my head. Linde had stepped out to join me.
“They are playing a game of Truth or Dare,” Linde informed me as he grabbed my arm.
I looked at him.
“Come join us,” he said with a sly smile. The club has transitioned to a DJ and he was playing current hits.
“I love this song” Kay said as I neared the table. It was Sam Smith & Normani.
“Do you know it?” she asked the group who shook their heads.
“Oh Jac, sing with me,” she pleaded and tossed her arms up as she swayed her hips to the music. I started to join her but she grabbed Ville’s arms and wrapped them around her waist as she danced against him. The jealousy sprang to life and I grabbed a random guy by the table who seemed fine to dance with me. The lyrics couldn’t be more befitting.
Ville’s eyes pierced mine as “Look what you made me do, I’m dancing with a stranger,” played out over the speakers. His gaze was intense and I stopped dancing to go back to the table. A few moments after, Ville untangled himself from Kay. I could see a small pout on her face as she grabbed her beer. I grabbed mine and clinked it against hers. In Joy and Sorrow started playing again.
“You sound better live,” Kay said as a compliment.
“Thanks darling,” Ville replied and smirked as he said the last word.
“I dare you to not use that word anymore,” I spat out rather harshly.
“Woah,” Mige muttered with a laugh.
Kay looked at me and then to Ville.
Ville’s eyes squared against mine.
I couldn’t be the only one feeling the tension.
“I dare you to just kiss her already, if that’s okay,” Linde said as he polished off his beer.
“I’m glad someone said it,” Mige said laughing.
Kay looked startled but pleased as she stood next to me. I held my beer in my hand, ready to drink it and distract myself.
“Is it okay?” Ville asked me.
“You’re ever the gentleman,” I retorted, “go ahead.”
He took a step forward and hesitated. Kay shifted on her feet expectantly. I can’t believe I had to witness this.
“The last song I sang was for you,” he said swiftly and broke the space between us by gently grabbing my chin and pressing his lips to mine. I was caught off guard and the beer slipped from my hand. Ville pulled back as the glass crashed to the floor. He kicked it out of the way as he stepped closer and put his hands through my hair as he pulled me to him again. This time his mouth opened and I found my tongue willingly meeting his.