Status: in progress!! // uhhh i have strong feelings for hifudo

Honne

wishing star

2:20


Doppo will only get four hours of sleep today.

7:32


“Why are you up?”

Doppo thinks it’s an unfair question to ask, since he’s up earlier than usual himself, but he has to, anyway.

He’s staring at Hifumi - his partner for long, his best friend for longer - with a gaze that’s tired, but quizzing. For someone who got home at two in the morning, who almost always gets home at two in the morning...this time of day does not exist for someone like Hifumi. Why is he up? And with no prompt, as well. Doppo’s alarm is quiet, loud enough for only him, and he always catches it before it goes too long. There is no way Hifumi heard it. He never does.

“Couldn’t really sleep, I guess?”

Doppo finishes messing with his tie, his quizzical look turning skeptical. He knows when Hifumi lies, and this isn’t a lie. Not completely.

“Did I wake you up?” Doppo asks now, sounding a bit guilty now. He’s always so cautious of making a sound in the morning. He tiptoes around the apartment until he’s done, careful not to do a thing that might disrupt Hifumi in the slightest. It looks like he failed today. “Sorry...”

“No, no, don’t apologize. It wasn’t you.” Hifumi seems to be looking a little too closely at Doppo, something Doppo catches him doing every once in a while; it’s like Hifumi is taking in everything about him, maybe committing it to memory. It’s not like he should forget Doppo’s face anytime soon. Perhaps it’s for reassurance. “Hey, I’ve woken up early before!”

“Maybe once.” Doppo is mumbling now. An untrained ear would miss every word. “You barely get up this early even if you didn’t work the night before.”

“Sometimes the high school days come back.” Doppo, of course, is unconvinced. Hifumi‘s high school days consisted of Doppo walking to his house and dragging him out of the bed every morning. He never woke up on his own. “But it’s whatever! You have a train to catch, right?”

“In a half hour, yeah... I usually leave at eight, you know.”

Hifumi waves it off with a flick of his hand and a, “Right, right,” before he sits upright and pats his bed, urging Doppo to sit with him. “If you’ve got time to waste, then!”

For a moment, Doppo is considering saying no. Minutes turn to hours when he spends time with Hifumi, and he can’t afford being late today. Or ever. Still, he does what Hifumi is asking, anyway, sitting beside the spot Hifumi is hitting.

“Did you have a bad dream? Is that why you woke up?”

“No, I don’t think so. I don’t feel like I did, anyway.” That’s not a lie, either. However, it isn’t exactly said in a tone that Doppo trusts, so. “But it’s no big deal! I’ll just go back to sleep when Doppo leaves, hm?”

Doppo doesn’t really want to, but for the sake of keeping the peace, he lets it go. “Sure.” He looks at Hifumi from the corner of his eye, lacing his fingers together as he hangs his head. “I might be home kinda late.” He says it in a way that makes it clear he’s anticipating Hifumi’s annoyance.

“Really?” He’s disappointed, not annoyed. It’s always kind of hard for Doppo to tell the difference. They both make him feel terrible. “You’re not doing more overtime, are you?”

“No. I just...I have a doctor’s appointment, that’s all.” Doppo rubs his eyes, rubs his face. He’s exhausted. He knows Hifumi wants to convince him to just stay home. He knows Hifumi really could sustain them both if Doppo finally got the sense to quit. But. He knows Hifumi hates fighting losing battles. “It won’t be that late.”

“Yeah, but. I’m usually getting ready to leave when you come back from the doctor or things like that.”

“I know, I know. Don’t pout about it.” He’s peeking at Hifumi through his fingers, his red lanyard caught on his thumb. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay! I’ll just have to come home as fast as I can. Maybe you’ll still be awake.” There’s no chance. Doppo tends to fall out at midnight, if not earlier. It never seems to be enough rest. A shame. “Hey, what do you want for dinner?”

“Whatever you wanna make.”

“What kind of answer is that? I’m asking you for a reason!” Hifumi reaches over, shoving Doppo’s shoulder. “What do you wanna eat?”

“It’s too early, Hifumi... I don’t know.” Finally, his hands drop from his face, and Hifumi is back to staring. He’s been around Doppo nearly all his life; he should know Doppo’s face better than he knows his own, he’s seen it so much. But there’s always something new. Some little imperfection. Does it make him happy when he finds it? “Stop staring at me.”

“Sorry, sorry. Doppo’s too handsome!”

Doppo doesn’t respond, like he’s trying to act as though the compliment doesn’t get through. Even so, he’s sure Hifumi can see the slight red tint of his cheeks.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Hifumi?”

“Yeah! Is me getting up early that weird?”

“No, it’s not that. You just seem off. A little bit.”

It’s too easy to write this off as just another of Doppo’s constant worries. Everything makes him anxious, after all. Hifumi really doesn’t seem that different. It’s just.

“I’m fine.” Hifumi holds out his pinkie, smiling when Doppo rolls his eyes and mutters seriously? and reluctantly hooks their pinkies together. “Promise.”

“We’re almost thirty,” is Doppo’s response.

“You can’t say it doesn’t make you feel more secure!”

“They’re just fingers.” Doppo gets up then, breaking the connection as he takes his blazer from his own bed. He can’t really remember a time where they didn’t share at least a bedroom. Some time before they became adults. “I would’ve believed you without them.”

“Would not.”

There’s no reply, just Doppo fixing his clothes one more time as Hifumi watches. He wishes Hifumi would look somewhere else, just for a minute.

“I gotta go now,” he says, more to distract himself than anything else. “I hope there aren’t a lot of people walking or on the train. I wonder if it’s running today? It wasn’t last week. God, it was really bad. I was so late...”

“Hey!” Hifumi can’t reach him without getting up, so he throws his pillow at Doppo instead. It is equally as effective. “Stop that, okay? Relax. The train’s running. You’ll have somewhere to sit or stand for the ride. You won’t be late. Everything will be fine.” He gives Doppo one of his trademark smiles. At least, it kind of looks like one. “Trust me!”

Doppo nods, but slightly, like he doesn’t really want to believe what Hifumi is saying. Still, he says, “Okay,” walking towards Hifumi and awkwardly patting his shoulder as a thank you. God, he’s been this way all his life. When will he change? Just thank him.

Hifumi, completely unbothered, pulls him down, places a kiss on Doppo’s cheek and watches him go through a cycle of reactions: shock, a bit of annoyance, embarrassment, acceptance, all with red ears and cheeks. Hifumi’s been doing this before they even entered a relationship; there’s no way Doppo should still get so worked up. “I gotta go now or I’ll actually be late...”

“Aww. Okay, then. Go, go.”

“You should go back to sleep.” Doppo is by the door of their room now. He has a bit more to say, but he can’t really get it out. Whether it’s because he’s forcing it back or because it’s a fault of the words themselves, even he can’t tell. Whatever he wants to say, it’s probably better left unsaid.

“I’ll see you later,” Hifumi says with that same smile.

Doppo nods.

Doppo leaves.

He wonders if Hifumi really plans on going back to sleep.

11:22


He skipped work.

Oh, God, he skipped work.

Though it’s been a few hours now, Doppo still can’t really understand why he did it. He made it to the station on time, even stood on the train, but he just couldn’t let the doors close. He couldn’t stay.

So he got off. And the train left. And he didn’t go to work.

He’s been wandering around the city for a little while now, poking into a store here and there, getting progressively more disappointed in himself for not going. It was such an impulsive decision, getting back off, and nothing he comes up with in his head sounds anything more than flimsy and irresponsible.

I felt strange. I felt weird. I had a weird feeling. Something didn’t seem right. I was...afraid.

All of his explanations sound pathetic. The truth of it all is that the moment he stepped on that train, he felt an overwhelming sense of dread, one that hung heavy on his shoulders and made him shiver. He dislikes his job, sure, but it’s never made him feel anything like that before. Giving that excuse to anyone, though - especially his boss - would make him look ridiculous. He should have just went.

Thankfully, while the city is always busy, it’s not nearly as busy as it is normally. Every person he passes today makes him feel oddly uneasy, so it’s good that there aren’t that many on the street.

Maybe it’s just a bad day.

He’ll try to mention it when he goes to the doctor later.

For now, he has to find something to keep him busy. He can’t go back home. Hifumi might still be resting - he definitely went back to sleep, because he hasn’t texted Doppo yet - and he’s sure that his presence will disrupt him. Not to mention he’ll be asked why he skipped work and still has no good response.

He could go to the park, but he may risk falling asleep on a bench. He could go to a movie, but the only thing he’s interested in seeing is something he’s promised to see with Hifumi. He could try and eat something, but he’s unsure if he feels good enough to do that.

So he walks into the next store he comes to.

It’s pretty small, wedged between a café and a convenience store, dark on both the outside and the inside. Even so, he doesn’t feel nearly as uneasy as he did on the street, so he may as well stay here for a little while.

The boy behind the counter near the window gives him a short, but loud, “Hello,” as he takes in just how busy the shop is. There are things everywhere; charms and books and even candy in the far corner.

“Hi,” he says back once he gets the sense to speak. He turns to the counter, forcing himself to stand a bit straighter. Hifumi said that slouching weakens his confidence. He isn’t sure what else to say, but leaving it so empty feels strange. So he adds, hesitantly, “Do you...own this place?” eyeing the boy at the counter with curiosity. It’s cramped and full of stuff. Someone young like him could probably own it.

“Nah, I’m just watching it. My friend’s the real owner, but he’s on vacation and I’m getting paid, so.” He shrugs, taking his feet off the counter. Doppo wonders if the real owner would like that very much. “I’m so bored. No one ever comes in here until the sun starts going down.”

When the boy sits up, his hood falls back, revealing a mess of blue hair. He watches Doppo with bright, somewhat catlike eyes. He leans forward and says, “I kinda know about some of the stuff, though, even if I don’t really work here. So if you have a question about any of it, I might be able to help, ‘kay?”

“Right. O-Okay.”

Doppo isn’t sure why he’s even slightly intimidated by this boy, but he hasn’t really understood himself much at all today, anyway. So he turns away from the counter and allows himself to actually pay a bit of attention to what’s in front him.

There are a few small, red horses on a table to his left, varying in size with intricate, colorful designs. He picks up the smallest, and before he can even ask, the boy is talking.

“Those are a good luck charm somewhere in Europe. I dunno if the luck changes by size or something.”

Doppo nods, looking at it a little bit longer. Hifumi would probably love something like this, good luck charm or not. Maybe he’ll bring Hifumi here another time. He’d probably lose his mind.

Whenever he picks something up, he’s treated to a short description by the blue-haired boy. Most of what he picks up are for luck, each one from a different country, each one something Hifumi would probably set up in their room somewhere.

Nothing makes him feel very fortunate, though. Maybe he has to keep it on him for longer than a few seconds for the effect to work.

There are even a few things that are should only be available at shrines. He wonders if they have any effect in a shop like this. It’s not exactly holy.

Though all he’s doing is walking around and picking things up, he’s exhausted. He supposes the four hours of sleep he got have been used up by now, and even something as minor as looking at a charm takes too much energy.

“Yo. You okay over there?”

Doppo turns too quickly at the noise, nearly dropping the - what is this one? - that he’s got. Thankfully, it’s on a string, so it simply catches onto his fingers instead of hitting the ground.

“S-Sorry. I’m, um. I’m fine.”

The boy raises an eyebrow, so clearly unconvinced. “Yeah? You looked like you were falling asleep on your feet.” His fist presses against his cheek, keeping his head up as he watches Doppo try and look more awake. Doppo is pretty sure it’s failing. “You’re an office dog, aren’t you?”

“Office...dog?”

“Yeah. My mom was one of ‘em.” The boy shrugs then, pointing at the small star on a string Doppo’s got. “Anyway. I don’t know what that’s called or if it’s even got a name. I think my friend got it during Tanabata? That’s what he said. I’ve never seen it at one, though. Apparently you make a wish and fold a point of the star and when you wake up, it’ll come true. Worth a shot, I guess.”

“Do you actually believe in this stuff?”

“Yeah. I mean, why not. ‘Cause if they work, then it’s nice.”

“But if they don’t?”

“Who cares, then? I dunno. I believe in ‘em.” He points at the star again. “Do you want it? I don’t know any of the prices though ‘cause there’s no tags anywhere...really wondering how Ramuda runs this shit.”

To be honest, Doppo isn’t sure if he believes in any of this himself. When he was younger, his parents would buy him an ema every once in a while and he’d write a wish on it. They varied from school closings to wanting his parents to stay together. With Hifumi, for years now, he writes a wish during Tanabata on tanzaku, less enthusiastic than his partner but meaning it all the same. The only thing he wishes for now is his family’s happiness. Hifumi’s happiness. He isn’t sure if any of them work - they didn’t, really, when he was a child -, but for the most part, everyone around him seems to be doing okay.

And even if he doesn’t, Hifumi does. So he’d probably love the wishing star thing, if Doppo doesn’t.

“Yeah. I guess I’ll take it.”

14:18


Doppo’s appointment is in a few hours.

He hasn’t done much since leaving that shop. He’s gotten a coffee and texted Hifumi like he was at work; he feels terrible for lying, but. He doesn’t want Hifumi to worry. A normal day consists of Doppo being at work, so for Hifumi’s sake, that’s where he’ll be.

Just as he considers getting up to go, his phone begins ringing and for a minute, he panics. It’s probably Hifumi, calling him to say he’s coming up to the office because he misses him or something ridiculous, something he’s done too many times before. He’ll know Doppo lied. He’ll be upset. He’ll be confused. Will he trust Doppo anymore? Oh, God.

But it’s not Hifumi.

It’s. The doctor’s office?

”Kannonzaka-san?” comes a particularly cheerful voice once he answers. It’s a receptionist, obviously, but not one he’s familiar with.

“Uh. Yeah, that’s me.”

”Good! I‘m very sorry, but I wanted to let you know that you will have to reschedule the appointment you had today.”

Ah. What short notice. He does notice that he breathes a little easier after hearing it, though. He gets to go home.

“Really? Is there...something wrong?”

”No, not really. Jinguji-sensei had a sudden personal matter to tend to, and since you’ve requested to see only him, you have to reschedule.”

While Doppo and the doctor have never quite been close enough to be considered “friends,” he does think of the man quite fondly. Of course he wonders what sort of personal matter the doctor had to deal with, a receptionist probably wouldn’t know what happened, and Doppo has no right to try and nose his way into something private.

So he says, “Okay,” instead of asking anything else.

”Alright! Tomorrow is open, and at the same time, too. How lucky! Would that be okay with you, Kannonzaka-san?”

“Yeah, um. That should be fine.”

”Wonderful. Sorry again for the trouble. He’ll see you tomorrow.”

16:48


Hifumi is lying under the kotatsu when Doppo gets back, watching television with his head resting on his arms. He doesn’t move at the sound of the door. A terrible habit, really; Hifumi’s never been one to be aware of his surroundings, only what lies before him. It’s always been troublesome.

Doppo tries to sound playful when he says, “I’m back,” but he’s so tired that it comes out dead. Hifumi whips around, anyway, eyes bright and a smile spreading across his face.

“Hi! Welcome back!” He pulls himself from his spot and crawls to Doppo, who’s standing near the couch. He looks up at his partner with such excitement. “What’re you doing home so early? I thought you had an appointment?”

“Yeah, but they canceled. I go tomorrow, instead.”

“Ohh. Well, good! Now you can rest, right? Spend some time with me, okay?”

As Hifumi crawls back to the kotatsu, sitting up now, Doppo thinks back to this morning. He had no real reason to think Hifumi was acting unusual. He wasn’t acting unusual, not much. Not enough for Doppo to question him about. He feels even sillier about it now, seeing how natural Hifumi is being. He’s always so worried about the stupidest thing. Hifumi was probably just tired. He never wakes up at seven, after all.

But Doppo can’t write it off as that. He got that feeling for a reason, right? It wasn’t another paranoid thought, was it?

“Do-ppo! We should go on a game show one day!”

It probably was.

Doppo sits across from Hifumi, watching him while Hifumi watches the tv. “Hey.”

“Uh-huh? You think we should go on one, too, right?”

“Um. No.”

Before Hifumi can start pouting, Doppo pulls the alleged “wishing star” from his pocket, presenting it to Hifumi. According to the blue-haired boy, it didn’t have any specific name. “I saw this earlier. I thought it might be something you’d like. I dunno.”

“It’s so cute!” Hifumi exclaims, taking it carefully by the thin string. His eyes seem to sparkle at the sight. He really is such a pretty guy. Doppo seems cursed to realize it over and over. He wonders for the hundredth time today why Hifumi stays with him. “Where’d you find this?”

“Some weird shop.” Suddenly remembering he was supposed to be at work all day, Doppo tacks on, “I passed it on the way home. It’s got a lot of good luck charms and stuff. I can take you one day, if you want.”

“Yeah! I’d love it.”

Hifumi is completely set in admiring the new charm when Doppo, as a second thought, adds, “It’s supposed to grant wishes. You make a wish and then you fold a point.”

“Really?” His smile seems to grow impossibly wider. He loves it. It makes Doppo really happy to see. He really does know Hifumi. He should, after all these years. “That’s so cool! Although I already have anything I would wanna wish for... Oh! My first wish should be for Doppochin to quit his stupid, soul-sucking job!”

“Wh-What? Don’t use a wish on something so stupid. Especially not the very first one.”

Hifumi laughs at him, quiet and soft. He leans against the tabletop, looking at the charm as he holds it out in front of him, swinging it lightly from side to side. “I’ll make the first wish super meaningful. Okay?”

“Please don’t waste it on me.”

He doesn’t expect Hifumi to reach over and grab his face, so when his cheeks gets squished, he jerks back. It isn’t far enough to pull out of Hifumi’s grasp.

“Don’t say that. A wish for you would not be a waste,” Hifumi huffs. The next thing he says isn’t spoken in nearly the same childish tone. “Besides. You use all of yours on me.”

That’s very true.

“That’s different.”

“Is it? Huhhh? It totally isn’t, is it? It’s not.”

“Okay, okay.” It’s hard to speak when your partner is squashing your face. “It’s not different.”

Satisfied now, Hifumi takes his hands back. He’s got the charm’s string wrapped all around his fingers. “Thank you,” he says once he’s settled back in his spot. His eyes are on whatever show is on, but his smile, smaller now, still lovely, is for Doppo. “The first wish will be super important. I promise.”

Doppo nods. He still feels the warmth of Hifumi’s palms against his cheeks, amplified now by his own blush.

“Wish for what you want.”
♠ ♠ ♠
terms!!
Tanabata: star festival! it happens on july 7th (though it can depend on the region) & people write a wish on a piece of paper called tanzaku, hanging them on bamboo.

ema: a small wooden board purchasable at shrines. you write a wish on it & hang it on the shrine grounds.

-san: works kinda like mr., mrs. or ms. in english! it’s the most common honorific suffix & is gender neutral. it’s also used when you’re not very close to someone.

-sensei: used for teachers, doctors, lawyers & the like!

kotatsu: a low wooden table frame with a usually heavy blanket beneath the table top. they have an electric heater (usually) built into them and are ideal for cozy winter times! in the summer, the blanket can be removed & the table can be used simply as a table.

hello!! i haven’t posted a story on here in SO LONG waaah! i don’t know if anyone here knows about hypmic but if you do please feel free to scream about it to me at any time! i hope this doesn’t read too disjointed or strangely ahh,, i’m kinda out of practice,, but i wuv hifudo & have a few plans for this fic so let’s see where it goes!! thanks so much for reading, love you all !!
- amina (nikko)