No Matter What

My life is nothing special, I'm an ordinary girl with a whole shit load of problems that I never asked for. I was born to a mother who was a drug addict and a father who I never fully got to know, because my mother left him when I was just a baby. I was raised by many different people but those people then became my family, a family I could rely on even after my mother came back into the picture. I was thirteen years old just about to turn fourteen I believe, it was so long ago that I cant really remember the age that she got me back.

I should have know that when she got me back my whole life was going to change and it was going to be a change that I wanted, it was a change that I didn't even ask for. She was a mother that got her daughter back, but once she got her daughter back things went back down hill.

She started back with her habit shortly after.

She blamed me for it...go figure.

I was the one who caused her to go back to her old ways, I was the one who caused all of this to happen. All because I wouldn't get up in the morning to get ready for school, all because I was a teenager going through teenager things. Things that she wasn't ready for. She wasn't ready to be a parent because she missed out on being a parent for the first thirteen to fourteen years of my life. I blame her for all the things I have gone through, I am the way I am because of her.

I went from being a young woman who was happy and ready for the world, to a teenager who never wanted to be home and was smoking weed and drinking with her friends at every turn I was able to take. I stopped going to school, I dropped out twice. Who does that? Who drops out of high school twice, not once...but twice. I started dating, I lost my virginity, I experienced abuse for the first time.

I got sick of it...

I wanted to change my life around so I moved out, I moved out to a life with family somewhere else. I thought that I was making the right move by leaving, I got my first real job, I started to go back to school. But then there was a guy involved, I thought I loved him; I truly thought that I loved him. So I moved In with him, we had a child together and things took a turn for the worst. He showed his real colors, and I experienced abuse all over again but this time. This time I experienced double to abuse because this time it was mental abuse as well, He brought out the worst in me. So I ran, once I couldn't take it anymore I ran. I went home and did what I could to stay far away from him, it didn't always work because we have a child together. I had to deal with him no matter what I wanted.

So here we are, eight years later.. and I'm ready to tell a bit more of my story, this time there's a guy that I met at work, A guy that I fell head over heels for and our relationship is so out of this world but I love him and I know he loved me. So here's my story.