Crazy 4 U

It was raining on Valentine’s Day when Frank got off of work. The sky seemed to have opened up right over Brooklyn the minute he left the office, like his own personal rain cloud. His day had been garbage, he felt like garbage, and this holiday was garbage. His sour mood was only worsened by the woman in the bright pink sweater who shoved him as he was passing through the Walmart entrance. The place was a fucking zoo plastered in pink and red and as soon as he entered he wanted to leave.

Often, Frank felt like a black hole of a person, where all the good things went to get sucked into. He could often feel the color and energy being drained from the room whenever he opened his mouth. He was a black smudge on the face of the universe with greasy hair and not much to offer. At least, that’s what he felt like most days. Dressing in all black, lining his eyes with his boyfriend’s eyeliner, and stomping around grocery stores with his headphones in and an angry expression on his face was almost a form of therapy at this point.

But the reason he had some glimmer of hope for himself was the reason that he was even at the store today. And that reason was six feet of giggly energy with bright pink hair and an unabashed love for all things cute and rainbow colored. Gerard was the only person Frank was willing to brave a crowd like this for, which was a testament not just to how much he loved him but also how much he absolutely hated people.

But Frank hated as many things as Gerard loved. And one of Gerard’s loves was Valentine’s Day. He was a hopeless romantic and openly embraced this fact. Although his enthusiasm could often be a little much, Gerard was in love with life and with the world. The smallest things, like giant teddy bears and overpriced boxes of disappointing chocolate, made him happy. Frank didn’t understand most things, but Gerard was the one thing in the world that didn’t need any explanations.

So that how he ended up jammed in between a screaming four-year-old and an elderly woman blocking the entire aisle with her walker while trying to find the $50, stuffed monstrosity that the love of his goddamned life had fallen in love with the last time they were here. He finally found Gerard’s giant rainbow llama sitting at the center of a shelf that he had been mostly ravaged and picked clean. Unfortunately, his eyes fell on it at the exact same time as the middle-aged blonde woman who had a haircut that screamed: “May I speak to your manager?” The two of them shared a knowing look before lunging for the plush. Frank managed to catapult past the elderly man and yank the toy right out from under the woman’s hands and dashing down the aisle before she tried to fight him.

He held the llama tightly to his chest throughout the rest of his trip, ignoring what a sight he must’ve been- a tiny, grumpy looking gay man dressed all in black carrying a giant rainbow-colored llama nearly twice his size. The lengths a man went to for love… After he’d grabbed a few other things for the night, Frank took his basket and his llama and went to check out. Much to his displeasure, the self-checkouts were all full and he had no desire to stay there longer than he needed to. So he meandered over to the nearest register and the cashier just smiled when she saw him.

“Someone’s going to be a very happy girl tonight,” she remarked as she scanned his chocolate, flowers, and booze. His eyes fell on the large golden cross around her neck and he smiled.

“Oh yeah! My boyfriend is going to be very happy!” Frank said in an overly cheerful voice as he handed her his ID and tossed a box of condoms onto the belt.

The cashier’s nostrils flared and her demeanor changed as she delicately scanned the box. The distaste was very evident on her face as she rang up the strawberry flavored lube and Frank had to bite his tongue not to laugh. As he walked out of the store, a few old ladies gave him strange looks and he could only imagine the sight he looked right now.

The rain was coming down in thick sheets, obscuring the sky. A man in a large red truck almost ran Frank over and he couldn’t even flick him off because his arms were full of llama. He turned the heat up high when he got into his car. His jacket was soaked through, his fingers were numb, and he hated humanity a little more than he did twenty minutes ago. Still, Frank drove home with the damn stuffed animal buckled into the front seat because he knew that’s what Gerard would’ve done if they were together. That’s what being with that boy for over five years had done to him- turned him into a certified crazy person. He still wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that, even after all of this time.

Frank didn’t know how much he had missed being home until he stepped through the doorway to hear Bowie playing faintly from the kitchen radio, the smell of Gerard’s stupid apple cinnamon candle hitting him immediately. Which he always used to cover up the fact that he had been trying to cook again. Frank shut the door behind him and stood in the entryway, as he dripped water onto the welcome mat. The kitchen was a mess and there was the corpse of a cake on the stove. His bad mood was gone almost instantly.

“Hey, Frankie is that you?” Gerard called from their bathroom.

“No, I’m a burglar. You’re being burgled,” he deadpanned as he dug in the cabinets for a flower vase.

“Oh no. What have you come to steal? My dead markers? Or my unpaid bills?” he called, his voice getting closer.

Frank chuckled and surprised himself with the sound. “Stay back there for a second. I have a surprise for you.” He filled the vase with water and placed the vase of daisies in the center of the kitchen table, along with the obnoxiously large box of heart-shaped chocolates, the wine, and the new box of drawing markers Frank had been waiting to give to Gerard for over a month.

“Okay…” Gerard pouted, as he waited in the hallway next to the bathroom.

“Don’t sound so sad, you big baby,” Frank teased as he adjusted his little setup. "You can come out now.”

Gerard was wearing one of Frank’s old band t-shirts underneath a giant tan cardigan and a pair of boxers. He had cake batter all over his clothes, in his hair, and on his cheek. He stood in the foyer but refused to look in the kitchen and turned his back to Frank. “Baby, I don’t want to look.”

Frank chuckled. “Why?”

“Because you probably did something really sweet and adorable and all’s I managed to do was destroy the kitchen to make you a cake that I also destroyed.”

God, he loved him so much. “Gee, c’mon, it’s okay. It wouldn’t be Valentine’s Day if you didn’t accidentally burn something for me,” Frank teased as he walked up behind Gerard and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Remember that time you almost set the cat on fire? You will never top that.”

Gerard groaned and leaned his head back against Frank’s shoulder. “Do you love me even though I’m useless?”

“Gee, I love you because you’re useless. Now come on.”

Gerard sighed dramatically as Frank untangled their bodies and pulled him into the kitchen. “Now, close your eyes.”

Gerard sighed even louder but covered his eyes with his hands with his sleeves. Frank held up the stupid stuffed llama and said, “Now open.”

Gerard’s initial reaction was to grin like an idiot, then to squeal like a little kid, then to kiss Frank softly, taking some of the chill out of Frank’s bones. “I can’t believe you spent $50 on a giant, gay llama, Frank,” he said in disbelief as he hugged it to his chest. “And you- you got me flowers?! And new markers? Babe! Is that why you’re all soggy?”

“You know I’d do anything for you. Even if Valentine’s Day is a stupid commercial holiday…”

“...that’s all an elaborate ploy to sell chocolate and sweatshop teddy bears,” Gerard finished, still hugging his llama.

“Seriously, I love you. Immensely.” Frank kissed Gerard’s cheek as he walked into the living room.

“What should I name him, Babe?” Gerard asked, still clinging tightly to his giant llama.

Frank rolls his eyes. “I have no idea...”

“How about Wesley? He looks like a Wesley.”

“You are so cute and so strange,” he said as he kissed Gerard’s forehead. “I’m going to go take a shower in the hopes of getting feeling back in my toes.”

“Oh can I come with? I kind of need one...”

“Right, as if this isn’t just another excuse to see me naked.”

“Like I need an excuse,” he says, giving Frank a knowing look as they walked to the bathroom.

“You’re a slut.”

“But I’m your slut!”

Frank wastes no time in stripping out of his soaked clothes as Gerard turned on the shower. For a minute he sat there on the edge of the bathtub, just watching Frank. Frank looked over at him and smiled. “What?”

“You’re hot! Am I not allowed to ogle my hot boyfriend?” Frank rolled his eyes and started to take off Gerard’s cardigan.

“Are you showering me with compliments because you want to get some tonight?”

Gerard scoffs. “Why does my flirting have to have an ulterior motive?” he asked indignantly as he started to work his binder up slowly.

Frank motioned for Gerard to turn around and helped him pull the fabric over his shoulders. “In all honesty? Because I can’t understand how I managed to get with a guy so incredibly out of my league.”

Gerard moved to look at him and held Frank’s face in his hands. “Honey, we have gone over this… You are in a league entirely of your own. You are so special to me, even when you use my eyeliner without asking.”

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t want to wake you up.” Gerard pulled open the shower curtain, stepped into the tub, and offered a hand to Frank.

“It’s okay, you look sexy as fuck so you’re forgiven. Anyway, how was your day today?” Gerard asked as he stepped back into the stream of water to wet his hair.

Frank shrugged as Gerard reached for the shampoo and squirted a large glob into his hand. “Exhausting. For starters, Lucy peed on my only good suit so I had to walk around smelling like cat pee all day. The Starbucks down the street ran out of soy milk so I couldn’t get my coffee today. My boss is an asshole who kept piling articles onto my desk all day. Roy- the pervy old guy two desks down wouldn’t stop hitting on me. Plus, my new meds are making me nauseous all the time and I just felt like garbage emotionally and physically all fucking day.”

Gerard kissed Frank’s shoulder as he lathered the shampoo into his hair, moving his fingers in slow, soothing circles. Frank hummed happily and leaned back into his touch.

“I’m sorry you had such a bad day, darling.”

“You know, the longer I live with you, the more I realize that my worst days now are one hundred times better than my best days six years ago. Fuck, my biggest problem most days is finding a coffee shop that actually knows how to make a good vegan latte. And even when I’m having the shittiest day ever, it always gets better when I get to come home to you.”

Frank turned to kiss Gerard softly, who smiled against his mouth. “You’re so sweet. Also, you taste like soap.”

“Wow, such a romantic,” Frank teased as they switched places and he began to wash Gerard’s hair. “So how was your day, Gee?”

“Oh, it was great. I got up early and knocked out the rest of those commissions. Did a Skype call with Ellie to finalize some marketing stuff for the comic we’re putting out in September. And I got all of that work stuff done before one o’clock so Lucy and I vegged out on the couch for the rest of the day and watched Buffy reruns. Then I went out for a little while and ran some errands. Lazy day, basically. But it got better when you came home.”

“Awww, that’s gay, Baby.”

Gerard rolled his eyes. “You’re literally standing naked in the shower with another man you’ve been sharing a bed with for five years. Everything we do is gay, Frank!”

They were both laughing as Gerard motioned for Frank to turn around and started to trace his tattoos as he rubbed body wash into his skin. There was something so intimate about showering with someone, naked bodies pressed close together, as the water dripped from their hair and beaded in their eyelashes. The way that Frank felt when Gerard was just being gentle with him, pressing kisses to his shoulders, his fingers massaging Frank’s scalp as he rinsed out the shampoo- was better than sex. There was a level of vulnerability in co-showering that wasn’t present when they were having sex, that Frank had grown to love over the years.

They lazily made out for a while until they ran out of hot water and Gerard ran out squealing. Frank lingered under the stream for a few seconds before shutting off the water. When he got out of the shower, Gerard was standing in front of the mirror, already in his boxers with his hair wrapped in their last clean towel.

“Hey, Gee?”

“Mmhmm?”

“I need that towel…” Frank gestured to his naked body and Gerard just looked him up and down and smirked.

“But why, Baby? I like you better like this.”

Frank rolled his eyes and gently tugged the towel from Gerard’s head, causing his hair to fall down in front of his face. “Well, I don’t like being wet, you ass.”

“I could make you wet, Baby,” he said, biting his lip.

Frank rolled his eyes as he dried himself off. “Whatever, you fuckin’ weirdo.”

Gerard pouted for a few seconds before giving up and changing the subject. “Hey, do you want to just walk down to that Chinese take out place down the block?” He asked as he twirled a strand of Frank’s wet hair around his finger.

“You mean you didn’t make your boyfriend dinner on Valentine’s Day?”

“I may or may not have burned that, too…” he mumbled, looking so adorable Frank wanted to both shower his face with kisses and pull his hair while fucking him hard against a wall.

“You’re something else, Gee,” Frank murmured.

Gerard just laughed as he slowly walked out of the room. “I’m gonna go put on clothes and we can leave in like ten alright?”

Frank chuckled. “Don’t lie to yourself, Hun. You always take at least forty-five minutes to get ready for a fucking Walmart run…”

Gerard scoffed. “You say that as if you don’t love it.”

Frank hummed as he caught up to Gerard and put his hands on his waist, letting them wander. “I do love it. And you.”

Gerard kissed him and then lightly smacked his hands away. “Hey! Patience…”

With a smirk Frank went to go rummage through their dresser while Gerard grabbed a bag from the dresser and hurried off to the bathroom. “What’s in the bag?” Frank called after him.

“Part of your present!”

“You didn’t have to get me anything! Unless it’s slutty.”

“Well…”

“See, I knew it was something slutty!”

Gerard just laughed as Frank pulled on a pair of jeans and one of his t-shirts that Gerard hadn’t stolen and claimed as his own… Lucy was curled up happily in the center of the bed when Frank plopped down next to her on the comforter and started petting her head. She looked up at him with an aggravated expression it decided that he wasn’t worth the effort it took to move. Lucy was the first major decision Frank and Gerard had made as a couple. They’d been dating for about a year and a half and just moved into together when Gerard decided that what his severely depressed boyfriend who hadn’t been able to get out of bed for a week needed was to take a trip to an animal shelter and pet some fucking cats, whether he wanted to or not.

Frank had never really liked animals and they’d never liked him. But like most things, Gerard had managed to change his mind. Before they’d met, Frank had never pictured himself with a steady boyfriend, building a home, planning a family, adopting a cat. Hell, he’d never ever planned to make it past twenty. But then he met Gerard and suddenly he was planning for a life he never thought he’d be alive for. Lucy had been the start of that. The minute they’d walked into the cat room, she’d stolen both of their hearts with her shrill voice and big green eyes that looked like they held the secrets of the universe inside them. The two of them had harassed their landlord for weeks until he let them bring her home.

Frank is lost in his thoughts when Gerard sauntered back into the room, wearing a leather jacket over a black lace dress with fishnets and his beat-up red Chucks. His eyes were lined with black eyeliner and his lips were dark red. He looked absolutely stunning and Frank couldn’t take his eyes off him as he posed frantically in the doorway.

“Well…? How do I look?”

“Like you put that dress on just to get it taken off in an hour.”

Gerard smirks and twirles slowly in his dress as Frank’s hands curled around his waist. Gerard giggles as Frank starts to run his hands along his thighs, almost disappearing beneath the skirt before he smacked them away. “Hey, hands off, Mister! You can look but you can’t touch. At least not until you buy me dinner.

And with that, Gerard dragged Frank down the stairs and out the front door. The sun was low in the sky and the streetlights had just come to life as they walked, hand and hand, through their neighborhood. There was the distant honking of cars and the buzz of traffic far off, and the street had a few couples mulling about outside of restaurants and bars, but it was mostly quiet.

The restaurant was fairly dead when they got there and the sound of the tinny little bell echoed through the store when they entered. There’s a family of four sitting in a corner booth and one very bored looking employee behind the counter. The cashier has a shock green hair and a dozen facial piercings and is fiddling with her lip ring when they walk in, looking bored out of her mind. She welcomes them in a quiet, tired voice without looking up from the counter. Gerard however, is cheery and delightful as always and greets her by name.

“Hey, Gyn!” How is your day going?” The girl seemed to perk up as soon as she sees him and they started talking as if they were best friends. Which wasn’t surprising to Frank in the slightest because Gerard has a knack for walking into a place and becoming best friends with everyone in the room within five minutes. Plus, he must walk down here often for lunch during the day because Lord knows Gerard trying to cook without Frank always ends in disaster, though he didn’t want to admit it.

Frank is too busy glaring at the woman in the corner who is throwing them dirty looks for having the audacity to be visibly queer in public to notice that Gyn was talking to him. Gerard nudged his shoulder.

“S-sorry, what was that?”

“Oh, I just said you must be the mysterious boyfriend Gee is always talking about but I’ve never seen before.”

“Well, I’ve been told I’m pretty elusive,” he said a little awkwardly with a nervous laugh.

“I was starting to think you were just a figment of Gerard’s overactive imagination.”

Gerard rolled his eyes but smiled. “Hey, I may be a hermit but I’m only a hermit because I have someone to provide with a connection to the outside world.” He grabs into Frank’s arm for emphasis and leans against his side.

Gyn laughed. “Honestly, goals. So, are you getting two of your usual?” Gerard nodded as she punched their order into the register. Gerard pulled out his card before Frank had a chance to react and handed it to Gyn.

“Hey, I thought I was paying!” Frank protested as she slid the card through the reader.

“You always pay, Baby,” Gerard informs calmly as he’s handed back his card and receipt. “You have to let me treat you sometimes.”

Frank blew a raspberry with his lips. “Just let me spoil you, you ass.”

Gerard pecked him softly on the lips. “Dweeb.”

“Well, you’re a lot… smaller than I pictured but definitely more handsome,” Gyn chided.

“Um… thanks,” he said before he wanders off to find a bathroom. When he came back, Gerard looked extremely suspicious and Gyn made what Frank can only describe as an “Act casual” face.

“So… did I just interrupt a drug deal or something?” He asked as he slipped his hand back into Gerard’s.

“N-No!” Gerard exclaimed with a nervous laugh. Frank narrowed his eyes.

“Babe, we’ve been together for over five years. I know that you’re a terrible liar.” Gyn giggled behind the counter as she wandered off to go get their order.

“It’s nothing! I swear.”

Frank gazed up at him, and Gerard won’t meet his eyes. “Yeah… Okay.” Gyn finally came back with their order and they say their goodbyes as they begin to leave the store, hand-in-hand. She mouthed something to Gerard that Frank didn’t catch and winked just before they left.

When they got home, Frank insisted on eating dinner on the couch and watch a movie, though Gerard pouted because he wanted a “romantic candlelight dinner.” Frank eventually gave in and they came to a compromise. Gerard lit virtually every candle in the house and poured them two glasses of wine while Franks pulled up a movie on the TV.

“So, What are you in the mood for?”

“Mmm, maybe “27 Dresses” or “The Devil Wears Prada?”

Frank just groans. “What?” Gerard asked indignantly.

“You know I hate those sappy rom-coms…”

“Well, what did you have in mind then?”

“I’m really in the mood to watch something bloody… Like Texas Chainsaw or Evil Dead…”

“Seriously?! On Valentine's Day?” Gerard asked with a grin. He acts surprised, as if they don’t have this debate every year… They eventually decided on “Silence of the Lambs” because it’s great and not terribly gory but also not really romantic in the slightest.

They ate their takeout straight out of the containers, with Frank leaning back against Gerard’s chest. “Is it weird that I find Hannibal Lector really fucking hot?” Gerard says suddenly, through a mouthful of tofu.

Frank snorted. “Why do you think we’ve had sex with this movie playing in the background so many times?”

Gerard hummed. “This is why I know you’re my soulmate.”

After they’re done with dinner, make out lazily on the couch as the movie plays in the background. Gerard’s mouth was so soft and warm and his lips taste like wine and Frank is slightly buzzed to the point where he just feels warm and light. Gerard glowed as he pulled away from their kiss, a small smile playing on his lips.

“What?”

“I just like you a whole lot.”

“Good to know,” Frank teased and Gerard just smiled wider, pushing the hair out of his boyfriend’s face. They sat there for a while, with Gerard in Frank’s lap, gazing into each other’s eyes like two lovesick kids. Gerard looked even softer than usual in the candlelight and so beautiful, like something out of a painting. His expression changed suddenly, as he put a hand to the side of Frank’s face.

“Baby?”

“Yeah?”

“I wanna marry you.” Frank just chuckled in response and didn't think he was serious. “No, seriously. I want to marry you.”

His initial response was confusion, but that quickly faded as he remembered who he was talking to. “Aren’t you… supposed to ask me? Not just demand it?” Franks asked.

“Why do I need to ask you if I already know that you’re going to say yes?”

Frank made a face at him. “That’s mighty presumptuous of you, Mr. Way…”

“Am I wrong?”

“Depends. Do you have a ring?”

Gerard screwed up his face for a second as he looks around the room frantically. He eventually found a round metal washer on the coffee table and slipped it into Frank’s finger. “There. Perfect fit.”

“Seriously, Gee? I can’t show this off to my mother when I tell her that I got proposed to by my loving boyfriend of five years!”

He smirked. “I promise that I have an actual ring for you. It just hasn’t come in the mail yet. I was planning on proposing today because I’m a sad gay cliché but then your ring got stuck in customs and I had this whole elaborate plan that didn’t work out. So I just decided to not worry about all that and just ask you.”

“This isn’t really convincing me that you’re not actually an alien masquerading in a human skin suit, you know….”

Gerard shrugged. “We must be from the same planet then.”

“Must be,” he murmured against Gerard’s lips. “It’s a yes, by the way.”

“Good because you really had no choice.”

They spent the rest of the night cuddling on the couch, stealing kisses between sips of wine, and talking about the future. Although this wasn't not really how Frank had expected this day to end, he was surprisingly okay with it.