A Day at a Time

"I'm sorry," Gerald tilts his head to the side taking in Charlie's appearance. Her hair is thrown up in a messy ponytail and she dresses in grey joggers and a loose black t-shirt. This isn't the first time that Gerald had seen Charlie like this. In fact, she was typically so busy that this would be her normal out of work outfit. It's her tired eyes that set her apart from her normal disposition.

"No, I'm sorry," Charlie apologizes, "I should've paid more attention." She glances down quickly, noticing Gerald hand resting upon her forearm. He notices quickly, letting his hand fall to his side. A nervous laugh comes from his throat and Charlie swears she's never seen him like this before. When did Gerald lose his cool?

His hand comes into contact with the back of his neck, as he rubs it awkwardly, "So, are you okay? Not that you don't look okay, you always look okay. Just tired."

Charlie smiles small, lacking the energy to laugh. She wouldn't be laughing at Gerald directly, it's just strange to think how their relationship, or lack thereof, has come to this. From sharing a bed to Gerald stumbling around for the right words. It's her fault really, she knows. She had asked for space.

"I'm alright," she nods. "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"I'm meeting the boys at the studio. We've got new shit coming."

"Say hi to the boys for me, yeah?"

"Yee," Gerald nods before proceeding in route to the studio.

"Hey, Ger," Charlie says lowly, turning slowly to see if he's still even there. When she turns she meets his eyes through the pedestrians funneling around them as they take up space on the busy sidewalk. "Stop by after, OK?"

"You're late," Christoph states, swiveling in his chair when Gerald walks through the door. Blizzy's behind the glass laying down the drums while Grady snaps photos of the ceiling from the chair beside Christoph.

"The fuck you doing man?" Gerald asks, looking at Grady ridiculously.

"My camera's busted man," he mumbles while fiddling with the lens, "Where were you?"

"Ran into Charlie on the way here," Gerald says, shrugging.

"Fuck, I thought you were done fucking with her, man."

"It's no big thing, chill."

Grady shakes his head, "A girl isn't good for the image."

Gerald rolls his eyes, "She's not my girl. Are we going to work or not?"

Christoph shakes his head at Gerald, "You were late, we're doing the drum track. Had to do something while waiting for you."

"Aight, whatever," Gerald responds, making himself comfortable on the couch behind they guys before rolling a blunt.

Later that night, after spending the day at the studio and Charlie making pans with Melissa, Gerald makes his way to Charlie's apartment. Charlie had been home for a few hours, showered and cleaned up the apartment.

She's in the kitchen washing dishes when she hears the door creak open. When she looks over her shoulder she sees Gerald closing the door behind him and kicking off his shoes.

"You could have knocked, you know?" Charlie asks, shutting off the water and wiping her hands dry.

Gerald gives her a sly smile and makes his way closer. Here, in her apartment, things feel much more normal between the two. "I was hoping I'd walk in on you naked," he jokes.

"If you want to see me naked you're going to have to put some work in," Charlie goes along.

"That can be arranged." Gerald makes his way closer to Charlie, grabbing her by the hips and placing small kisses along her neck.

She giggles as his stubble tickles her neck. "This isn't funny," Gerald mumbles into her neck.

"Gerald," she sighs, "I didn't invite you here to have sex. Not that I'm opposed to it. Maybe we could just spend time for a minute first, yeah?"

"Yee," He responds into her neck before biting down gently and pulling away. "What you trying to do?"

"Give me a distraction."

"Put on your shoes," Gerald orders.

"What?" Charlie asks surprised.

"Let's go," He responds almost whining.

"Where are we going?" Charlie questions while she laces her sneakers.

"Just be quiet," Gerald groaned, hurrying her out of the apartment.

They walk together on the sidewalk, side by side. "How have you been?" Charlie asks, clearing up the comfortable silence between the two.

He shrugs, "It's been busy. Spent a few nights in New York, had a show there. I've been here, for the most part, working on the album, partying."

Charlie nods, "You called from New York. Do you remember that?"

He pauses for a moment and Charlie looks at his face seeing a newly formed frown. "Yeah, I remember. I mean I don't really remember but I know. I'm sorry."

She shakes her head, "It's fine. I was an ass about it, I was just overwhelmed. I'm sorry." There's a pause in the conversation before Charlie starts babbling again, "You scare me, you know? Your lifestyle. I know it's not my business but I worry about you."

"Nothing to worry about, I've made it this far. I've got a mother to worry about me so no one else has to."

"I'm going to say something and it's going to sounds shitty but hear me out, OK?" Charlie asks, "I'm not scared for you, I'm not worried for you. I'm worried for myself, I'm worried for the people around you. For you it's easy, get faded wake up and do it all over again. You feel good, you feel hungover and at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter for you. But your friends, the ones who aren't getting fucked up beside you, and your family are worrying about you. Will this be the last time they see you? Will you OD this time? Drive home drunk? My dad was an alcoholic. Is? I don't know, I don't even know if he's still alive. He left when I was younger, it was for the best. Gave my mother a chance to get her life together. I loved him at one point, I mean he's my father. I worried for him, some nights he didn't come home and I swore he was dead. I remember crying by the front door late hours of the night. I don't love him anymore. It's awful but he tore my mother apart and treated us all like shit."

Gerald stays quiet, listening as she speaks. When she's done his silence carries over and she wishes she could read his mind.

"My mom's always worried, you know? She calls me almost every night. I love her to death, I don't mind but I hate that she feels like that. I fucking get it but I'm not addicted to this shit. It's my job and fuck, I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it."

"I know," Charlie mumbles, "I'm not telling you how to live, I'm not going to waste my breath. I just needed some time away from it, OK?"

"Okay."

"My mom died," Charlie blurted out, awkwardly.

"I know."

"You knew?"

Gerald nods and stops walking, he grabs Charlie's hand and spins her to face him, "You can't keep a secret, Charlie. I saw it on your face this morning. It's been weeks and she wasn't well, I know and I'm sorry."

He pulls Charlie into him, holding her head against his chest as she lets out a quiet sob.

She pulls her head away gently separating from him and wipes her eyes, "God, I'm sorry. I haven't really done that yet. We've been so busy planning her funeral I hadn't even gotten a chance to cry."

"You don't have to apologize," Gerald states, grabbing her hand. He continues to walk, pulling her down the sidewalk. A few minutes later he comes to a halt, "We're here."

Charlie looks around, standing in front of a tall brick building, all of the lights are off and the small parking lot is barren with a couple of lamps blinking eerily.

"What is this place?" She questions.

"Shh," Gerald hushes her, pulling her to the side of the building and towards a fire escape. "You first."

"What?" Charlie asks wildly, "What is this place? Is this even legal?"

"Would you just go?" He rolls his eyes.

Charlie groans before making her way up the steep fire escape, Gerald close behind. When she gets to the top she hoists herself onto the roof. The flat surface of the roof provides a perfect view of the city and the water and leaves Charlie in awe. Gerald comes up from behind her and weaves his arms around her waist, resting his head on her own. "It's beautiful, yee? I come up here sometimes when I need to be alone. Look up."

She follows his led, laying on the rubber roof - although quite uncomfortable she doesn't regret it because when she looks up there is a sky full of stars and she can see it all. She won't say it out loud but the view is better than from home, there are no trees to block her vision and the city is asleep leaving them to be accompanied by the soft sound of the water.

"This is my favorite place," she sighs, rolling to face Gerald who lies on his back beside her, arms behind his head. "Thank you."

He glances in her direction but makes no effort to move, "No worries."

"I don't want to go home," Charlie says after a few minutes of taking in the site around them.

"Which home?" Gerald asks, moving to sit up.

She pulls herself up, resting on her elbows, "Here, this home."

He nods to stand, offering her his hand which she gladly accepts as she gets onto her feet as well.

"Hang for a bit. I want to show you some new shit I'm working on," he offers leading the way down the fire escape.

"That's what this is?" Charlie inquires, "The studio?"

"You ask too many questions."