For the Rest of Our Lives
Twenty One (2008)
A week before his trial Sally's dad shoots himself in the head. Sally's aunt gains immediate custody of her, and Sally seems to crumple in on herself even more. Sally and her aunt move away, out of walking distance, for a while. I don't get to see Sally in person for a while; she's got time away from school to grieve.
But I keep hoping. I'm too afraid to call her myself. She probably wants space; and she would call me if she didn't, right? I keep my cell phone near me anyway. Sally's new house phone number is already saved in my contacts. I'm brave enough to put a heart next to her name.
I've taken the time to break up with Liam finally. He's the only one that knows my secret currently: that I'm gay. It's a new thing for me. Well, new coming to terms with it. It's been in my blood since the day I was born. I'm afraid to tell my parents. I'm afraid to tell Sally. Liam reacted pretty well. But that still doesn't wipe away the fear.
I sigh and lay back in my bed.
"Luna!" Nathan comes bursting into my room, dragging out the 'a' in my name. "I wanna play video games! Will you come play with me?"
I lean up and look over at him. He's carrying two controllers in his small hands. I smile and shake my head.
"Of course, dude," I say. His eyes brighten and a grin lights up his face.
"Yay! Come on, let's go!" He rushes out of my room, stumbling a little but balancing himself again.
"Alright," I laugh. I get up off my bed and follow him out the door. "What game do you wanna play, bud?"
"Left 4 Dead!" he shouts. I raise my eyebrows as he takes a seat on the sofa, and holds one of the controllers out to me. The game is already loaded up on the console, and he already has his character selected.
"Mom and dad are letting you play that now?" I say.
"Yeah," he pouts. "They said it's fine. It's just a video game. And it's shooting zombies anyway. Zombies aren't real. Duh, Luna."
I cover my mouth to hide my laugh. When I've recovered I take the controller from him and sit down next to him. I hastily pick my character.
Soon enough we're firing away at zombies, and Nathan is surprisingly way better at this game than I am. I die a couple of times, but he doesn't die once.
We're waiting for the game to load the next area when I suck in a breath.
"Nathan, what do you think about gays?" I say suddenly.
"What's a gay?" he asks. His gaze is focused on the screen; the area has loaded and he's off firing at zombies again. I join him, concentrating only halfway on the game. My heart is loud in my ears.
"A gay is- someone who..." I trail off. I blast a zombie directly in the face; Nathan gives a proud cheer. "So, a girl who likes girls. Or a boy who likes boys."
"Oh, I get it," he says. "Like a crush?"
"Yeah, like a crush," I nod.
"Doesn't bother me, I guess," he says. He briefly glances at me out of the corner of his eye. "Are you gay?"
I can't contain my smile. I let it take over my face.
"Yeah," I confirm for him.
"Oh, that's cool." He's smiling with me, but his gaze is still on the TV. "I think I already knew that. You have a crush on Sally."
My eyes widen and I do that thing with my mouth where I look like a fish out of water.
But I keep hoping. I'm too afraid to call her myself. She probably wants space; and she would call me if she didn't, right? I keep my cell phone near me anyway. Sally's new house phone number is already saved in my contacts. I'm brave enough to put a heart next to her name.
I've taken the time to break up with Liam finally. He's the only one that knows my secret currently: that I'm gay. It's a new thing for me. Well, new coming to terms with it. It's been in my blood since the day I was born. I'm afraid to tell my parents. I'm afraid to tell Sally. Liam reacted pretty well. But that still doesn't wipe away the fear.
I sigh and lay back in my bed.
"Luna!" Nathan comes bursting into my room, dragging out the 'a' in my name. "I wanna play video games! Will you come play with me?"
I lean up and look over at him. He's carrying two controllers in his small hands. I smile and shake my head.
"Of course, dude," I say. His eyes brighten and a grin lights up his face.
"Yay! Come on, let's go!" He rushes out of my room, stumbling a little but balancing himself again.
"Alright," I laugh. I get up off my bed and follow him out the door. "What game do you wanna play, bud?"
"Left 4 Dead!" he shouts. I raise my eyebrows as he takes a seat on the sofa, and holds one of the controllers out to me. The game is already loaded up on the console, and he already has his character selected.
"Mom and dad are letting you play that now?" I say.
"Yeah," he pouts. "They said it's fine. It's just a video game. And it's shooting zombies anyway. Zombies aren't real. Duh, Luna."
I cover my mouth to hide my laugh. When I've recovered I take the controller from him and sit down next to him. I hastily pick my character.
Soon enough we're firing away at zombies, and Nathan is surprisingly way better at this game than I am. I die a couple of times, but he doesn't die once.
We're waiting for the game to load the next area when I suck in a breath.
"Nathan, what do you think about gays?" I say suddenly.
"What's a gay?" he asks. His gaze is focused on the screen; the area has loaded and he's off firing at zombies again. I join him, concentrating only halfway on the game. My heart is loud in my ears.
"A gay is- someone who..." I trail off. I blast a zombie directly in the face; Nathan gives a proud cheer. "So, a girl who likes girls. Or a boy who likes boys."
"Oh, I get it," he says. "Like a crush?"
"Yeah, like a crush," I nod.
"Doesn't bother me, I guess," he says. He briefly glances at me out of the corner of his eye. "Are you gay?"
I can't contain my smile. I let it take over my face.
"Yeah," I confirm for him.
"Oh, that's cool." He's smiling with me, but his gaze is still on the TV. "I think I already knew that. You have a crush on Sally."
My eyes widen and I do that thing with my mouth where I look like a fish out of water.