For the Rest of Our Lives

Nathan never says anything to our parents, and for that I am very thankful. He gives me a thumbs up at dinner one night though; the night that I tell him I'm ready to open up to our parents. There is a huge grin on his face. He is positive that they will accept me no matter what, but the fear still lies deep within me. Others have not been so fortunate. And I know that it's a possibility for me too.

Our mom notices the silent exchange between us, and is now aware that something's up. She raises a brow at us and looks toward our father. He shrugs his shoulders and takes another bite out of the chicken that has been prepared for dinner. His gaze briefly drops to the plate in front of him as he chews, and then he looks up at me. He swallows the bite.

"What's on your mind, little lady?" he says.

I worry at my lip, and look down at my own plate where I've just been pushing the mashed potatoes left there around. I set my fork down, close my eyes, and take a deep breath. I look up at my dad again after I've let the breath out slowly.

"Well," I start. I lick my lips. "There's something that I've- well, not really learned over the past few years. It's always been with me. I just didn't know it until recently. I uh... I don't want you guys to judge me though."

"Honey," my mom says. "You can tell us anything. Whenever you're ready."

Her smile is reassuring, and there is a kindness and gentleness in her eyes that I've seen many times before. My dad is giving me the same look. And I take that moment to feel glad that these are the people who birthed and raised me. We had our moments, but it could be so, so much worse. It could be like Sally's situation.

"I'm gay," I blurt. My mom and dad exchange a look. Nathan covers his grin with his hands.

"Oh, honey, we know," my mom says. I raise my eyebrows.

"You know?" I whisper.

"We've known for a while now, pumpkin," my dad says. And he goes back to finishing off his dinner as if he really had known all this time, and the news doesn't bother him one bit.

"It's great that you know now, too," my mom says. She reaches over the table to pat my hand. "I'm going to start cleaning up now. We love you."

When she gets up she kisses my forehead, and grabs her plate and Nathan's before walking into the kitchen. I'm doing the thing where I look like a fish out of water again. My heart feels almost completely full. Almost. My thoughts have gone back to Sally. She still hasn't called.