A Light to Call Home

The last two weeks were the hardest his team had ever faced. Jason Reeves had run down the daughter of a marine in Georgetown. She was only a year younger than Tony’s daughter Tali who lived less than two blocks from the murder. The two girls probably played in the same park. A visit from their favorite little Dinozzo had boosted the team’s spirits, but by the time they finally laid the case to rest Leroy Jethro Gibbs wanted to drown himself in a bottle of bourbon and forget the past.

For once he was grateful to be walking into an empty house where nobody was going to ask about his day. He opened the front door, but before he could turn on the light he noticed someone was in his living room waiting for him. It wasn’t unusual for members of his team old and new to show up unannounced, but rarely did they wait in the dark. A shadow moved and he flipped on the light shocked at what he saw.

He was looking at a ghost. Her black hair hung limply down her back in a tangled mess and her skin was pale and exhausted. She was so thin he could see almost every bone in her body. Gibbs struggled to believe what he was seeing and when her eyes met his he barely kept from cursing. There was a blank haunted look there that reminded him of an abused animal close to death. He’d never seen her as fragile as she seemed now. She started toward him, but stopped as if she feared she was unwelcome..

“Zivr,” he said his voice full of shock and emotion. He dropped his bag on the floor and closed his front door never taking his eyes off of her. He was afraid if he did she’d disappear, a figment his imagination created to avoid the trauma of his latest case.

“Gibbs,” she replied shifting her weight nervously.

“Come here,” he said opening his arms and she moved into them allowing him to wrap her in a hug. Tears filled her eyes as she was overwhelmed by the strength this man had always offered.

Before Gibbs she hadn’t known what a real father was. Her entire life she was raised to be more machine than human taught that duty came before anything else. She’d always known Eli David loved his country first and her second. Growing up she always felt his love was measured by her actions and that with the slightest disappointment he’d take it away. It left her feeling both cold and alone.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs had given her what her own father never had. He’d taken her in and given her more than a job. He’d given her a home and a family. A father figure to most of the team he was firm with his expectations just as any father would be. They were there to protect them, to teach them, to help them grow as both navy cop and as people. She like the rest of the team had made her fair share of mistakes, but like always he’d been there to support her through the consequences they brought.

Gibbs released her and Ziva instantly missed the security she found there. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall. He watched her closely and she could see there were questions there, but he didn’t voice them.

“We thought you were dead,” he finally said. She nodded letting him know she knew, but she didn’t offer an explanation or apology.. The scars from the last two years cut deep and she just wasn’t ready to face them yet. “Do you have some place to stay?” he asked. The answers he sought would come later when she was stronger, more Ziva.

“I was hoping I could stay here for a few weeks Gibbs,” she admitted cautiously
“There’s an empty room upstairs. It’s yours as long as you need it,” he offered.

“Thank you Gibbs,” she said her eyes telling him how much she really did appreciate it. He really didn’t want to push her, but there was one question he needed to ask.

“Have you spoken to Tony?” he asked.

“I have not,” she replied her eyes darting away. He could tell that for some reason the Tony subject made her uncomfortable.

“Are you going to?” he asked. Dinozzo more than anyone deserved to know she was alive.

“I do not think I can face him Gibbs. Not after what I have done. He will hate me and I am not sure I can handle Tony hating me. I hate myself enough already. The demons from my past always seem to find me and I wonder if I will ever be free of them.” He wanted to promise her that someday she would be, but he was still facing demons of his own. He’d never loved another woman the way he loved Shannon and he was pretty sure he never would.

“Have you eaten?” Gibbs asked and Ziva shook her head.

“I haven’t eaten either. I fix us something for dinner while you get settled in. There are clean sheets in the closet upstairs and clean towels are under the bathroom sink if you want a shower,” he directed.

“Thanks,” she said. Ziva grabbed the small duffel held everything she had left in the world and headed upstairs. She made the bed and took a shower allowing the hot water to wash away the anxiety she struggled with all day.

After her shower Ziva walked around living room noticing Gibbs had changed it a little bit. He had a new couch and there were some framed photos over the fireplace. She wandered over to take a closer look. She recognized most of the people in them as members of her team with their families.

As she was examining them closer her eyes landed on a photo that made her heart jump in her chest. Tears pricked her eyes as she lifted it staring at a little girl with shoulder length brown curly hair. She wore a blue jean jacket with a green t-shirt underneath. There was a familiar spark dancing in the little girl’s brown eyes and she wore a huge smile. There was a puppy in her lap his paws on her chest as he reached up to kiss her face.

It was impossible, but the proof was right in front of her. Tears filled her eyes as her broken heart beat hard in her chest. A tiny sliver of hope filled her pushing its way through the darkness inside her that she was always fighting to keep at bay. Her mind warned her not to believe what her heart told her.

“Gibbs,” she cried softly turning her tear filled gaze on his as he walked in the room. One look at her face and he suddenly understood the soul crushing grief he’d seen flash in her eyes. “Is this… She’s alive?” she finally managed to get out.

“Yeah Zivr. When we heard someone was pulled out of the farm house we naturally thought it was you. Tony was packed and ready to fly to Israel when Orli showed up with her and we learned she was the only survivor,” he explained. Her gaze returned the photo. She couldn’t seem to put it down unable to look away for a moment.

“They are happy?” she asked finally putting the picture back.

“I know Tali is, as for Tony well he has always been a little hard to read,” Gibbs admitted. “Come on dinner is ready,” he said moving to return to the kitchen.

“I am not sure I am hungry anymore,” she replied following him to the kitchen. There was knot in her stomach and she was feeling nauseous.

“You need to eat Ziva. You look like hell,” Gibbs said bluntly.

“Thanks,” she replied. She stared at the plate of food for a while before sitting down at the table and forcing herself to eat. Gibbs was a capable cook, but she barely tasted anything. She could feel Gibbs’ eyes on her watching her closely and it was almost too much. She shoved her plate away unable to eat anymore.

Gibbs stood up taking her plate and his to the trash can and scraping them clean before rinsing them off in the sink and putting them in the dishwasher.

“I never would have expected you to have one of those,” she said as he closed it.

“It was a Christmas present,” he replied shrugging his shoulders. Ziva nodded, but was still surprised he used it. They stayed like that in silence for a few minutes and Ziva worked up the nerve to ask the next question she had.

“Where are they?”

“A farm in Virginia," he replied.