Breaking the Habit

“So, feeling any better yet?” Chester asked, sipping his orange juice.
I nod, and smile, “I feel much better, thank you.”
“I knew you would. I always finish my hangover cure with a cup of black coffee. No sugar. Gives you the edge and energy boost to get through the day until you can get some good sleep.” He leaned back in his chair.
“I always chose to day drink as a way to chase the hangover away.” I shrugged.
“Oh sure, that will work too, but it also ensures that you’ll have another even more miserable hangover when you run out of booze.” He looked me in the eyes and smiled.
“You learned the hard way too?” I asked laughing.
He nodded, “And it took trying it a few times to learn my lesson, that it’s not the way.” He leaned forward, and like a magnet, I leaned forward too.
Our faces were an inch apart, his brown eyes staring into mine.
“So am I your girlfriend?” I asked softly, resisting the urge to bite my lip.
He smiled wide, “If you want to be. And before you ask, I’d like you to be, yes.”
“I guess that makes us official, then.” I shrugged.
“Not until we get to know each other better. Tell me about your family, the ones you haven’t already told me about, that is.”
“Well, I have five siblings. Angelo is the oldest, then my sister Gabriella, my brother Christopher, my sister Chauntelle, another brother, Derek, and then me. We’re all two years apart. I grew up in Chicago, Illinois, and I moved to California after my engagement fell through, because I thought it would be better to get away. Unfortunately, it hasn’t worked out that way, yet.” I smiled at him.
He nods, “Wow, five siblings. And I thought growing up with two was a headache.”
“The good thing was, there was plenty of us to look after each other, even though I was the only one who really needed looking after, being the youngest, and mom’s least favorite.” I shrugged.”
“Why would someone have six kids, and only love five of them?” He asks, motioning our waitress over.
“Two coffees please.” he told her.
“Well,” I started, after she’d walked away, “The way I hear it, mom wanted to be done after she had Derek. She told Dad that she didn’t want anymore kids, and he agreed, until they both went to one of my dad’s shows and got drunk, and she got pregnant with me. Her intention was to have an abortion, because she didn’t want another baby, but dad was raised Irish Catholic, so that was absolutely out of the question. He managed to talk her into having me, and giving me up for adoption, and she agreed. That all changed the day I was born. He says the first time he saw me, he was in love, and he couldn’t bear the thought of giving me away to someone else, so he immediately decided not to give me up, much to my mother’s distaste. She hated me, because she never wanted me to begin with, and because of that, Dad’s constant attention was on taking care of me when I was a baby, which made her resent me even more. She would look after and take care of all the other kids, but left me with nannies, and babysitters, pretending I didn’t exist.
Her and my father grew apart, and she took to drinking heavily and taking pills to numb the pain, which eventually turned into harder drugs.
When I was three, it was just me and her at home, as all of my siblings were in school. She ignored me most of the time, but when I would interrupt her taking her drugs, she’d get angry and beat the hell out of me, telling everyone that the nanny did it, and promptly firing the nanny, despite the fact that I got closer to most of my nannies than I ever did my mother.” I paused and looked up, to see him watching me, listening intently, with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Go ahead sweetheart.” he nods.
“But pretty soon, no respectable nanny in the city would work for them, because of all the bogus claims, and she was left having to tote me everywhere she went. That’s when the really bad things started happening to me.” I paused again, fighting back tears, and stared down at the tabletop.
I sucked in a deep breath and tried to keep it together, but reliving the memories of my fucked up childhood had a tendency to send me into a panic attack.
Chester reached across the table and took both my hands in his, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, if you’re not ready yet. I don’t want you upsetting yourself.” he whispered.
“I’m sorry. I just haven’t talked about this in years, and it brings up terrible, painful memories for me.” I spoke quietly, trying to hide the shaking in my voice from sobs that threatened to escape.
“Say no more, we’ll leave that for another time.” He rubbed the back of my hand with his thumbs, calming me down little by little.
I guess the waitress saw me having a meltdown, and respectfully decided to keep her distance so not to interrupt, because Chester looked over and nodded for her to go ahead and bring us our coffee.
“Everything alright over here?” She asked softly, putting down our cups, and filling them with coffee.
“It will be. She’s just going through a tough time right now.” Chester explained, vaguely.
She nodded, “Let me know if there’s anything I can get you guys.”
She walked away, and I finally looked up at him, “Thank you.” I whispered, shakily lifting my coffee cup to my lips.
“What for?” he asks, doing the same.
“Not jumping ship when the waters got choppy. Most people make an excuse to get the hell out of dodge when I start talking about that or getting emotional, but you’re a trooper. Thank you.” I managed a genuine smile.
“Well, a dark past is nothing to be ashamed of. And really, what you need is someone who’s there for you. Someone who will comfort you and let you know that it’s okay, and that you shouldn’t be afraid anymore. I’ve already told you that I didn’t have a great childhood either, so I can relate, and I won’t leave you when things start to get ugly. Because that seems to be the norm in your life, and it doesn’t seem to be working for you. I’m here, no questions asked, no matter what.” he kissed my forehead.
“Maybe I have fallen in love with you.” I whispered.
“I think it may still be too early to tell. But I feel the same way. We’ll just have to play it by ear and see where these feelings take us.” he whispered, kissing me softly.
I wanted him to hold me, but decided that this wasn’t the time or the place for that, so I just smiled at him.

My phone rang, pulling me out of my daze.
I dug it out of my purse, seeing my father’s name on the screen.
I sighed, and hit talk.
“Hey dad.”
“Good morning, honey. Were you sleeping?” he asked.
“No, I’ve been awake for a little while now. What’s up?” I asked.
“I was going to see if you’d like to have lunch with Tilly and I. Gabi and Chauntelle are coming too.”
“I’d love to dad, but I just finished a really late breakfast, and I’m not really hungry.” I explained.
“Well, we’d love to have your company anyway. It seems like we haven’t seen you in ages.”
“Maybe we could have dinner later tonight? I’m kind of out with a friend right now, and I don’t want to be rude by just running out.” I hoped he’d understand.
“Of course baby doll. We’ll see you at 7 then?” he asked.
“7 is perfect, dad. Where should I meet you?” I glanced at Chester, who flashed a smile.
“We’ll pick you up from your house. Is that okay?”
“Sounds good. I’ll be ready.”
“Okay mickster. See you tonight.”
“Awesome, bye dad.”

I put my phone on the table, “Sorry, he just tries to make up for lost time.” I explained.
“No, no. I understand.” Chester nods, finishing his coffee.
“When you’re finished with that, I’ll take you home.” he kissed my cheek and got up to go pay the bill.
I sipped slowly on my coffee, watching him from across the room, a smile unknowingly plastered across my face.
I downed the last gulp of coffee and stood up, leaving a tip on the table and smiling thankfully at the waitress, who handed me a to-go coffee and a styrofoam container, “This is on the house, from the waitstaff and cooks. We hope it gets better for you.” she smiled.
“Thank you, I appreciate this, but you didn’t have to.” I said.
“I can tell when someone’s in distress, and I’ve learned that while coffee and stuffed french toast don’t fix our problems, they sure do help us feel better.”
I hugged her, “Thank you so much. It really means a lot to me.”

Chester made his way back to me, “You ready to go, sweetheart?” he asked.
I nodded, “I am.”
The waitress winked at me, and waved bye.
I glanced at her nametag to see that her name was Fauna, and waved back.

“What have you got there?” Chester asked, opening the car door for me.
“The waitress gave it to me. Said it won’t fix my problems, but it will help.” I explained.
“Good to see that there are still good people in the world.” he started the car.
“Chester, I don’t want to go home yet.” I told him, as he pulled out on the highway.
“Well, I mean, you don’t have to. I have about three hours to kill, what do you want to do?” he asked.
I shrugged, “I don’t care. I just don’t want to go home.” I sighed.
He put his hand on my knee, “I’ll take you wherever you want to go.” he said.
I smiled at him, “Let’s go back to your house.”
He chuckles, “You wanna go again already?”
I shrugged, “Maybe, we’ll see where the day takes us.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek.
“Then let’s go.”

When we walked back into the house, he opened the blinds in the living room, and his bedroom.
I sat on his couch and kicked off my heels, “I guess it really isn’t the walk of shame when you come back to the same place, is it?” I called, rubbing my sore feet.
He sits next to me, “Let me do that for you. And no, I suppose not. But it also isn’t a walk of shame if it’s your boyfriend’s house.”
The words sent a chill down my spine, and I felt a smile on my lips.
“So you are my boyfriend, then.” I replied, laying back on the cushions.
He smiled fondly at me, “Well, I’d like to think I am. If you want me to be.”
I nodded, “I would like that, very much.”
He leaned forward and kissed me, “Then it’s settled.
He finished rubbing my feet for me, and then he cuddled up next to me on the couch, and there we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

We were awakened by someone knocking on the door.
Chester sat up and rubbed his eyes, “Hang on, I’m coming.”
He grabbed a blanket off the other couch and covered me with it, “Here love. Stay here, this shouldn’t take long.” he kissed my forehead.

I heard him greet the guest, “Hey guys, did I oversleep again?”
“No, we just wanted to make sure you made it home okay last night. You were pretty trashed.”
“Oh yeah, I’m fine. I took the back roads and drove slow, so not to draw any attention to myself.” he said.
“Who was the hottie that was grinding all up on you last night? She was gorgeous.” This coming from a different guy.
“Her name is Michelle.” Chester replied.
“Tell me you hit that, bro. She was fine as hell.” Same guy.
Chester laughed lightly, “Yeah actually, she came home with me last night. It was awesome.”
“Nice! Is she still here?” he asked.
I peered over the back of the couch to see him look over at me and smile, “Yeah, she’s still here, you guys want me to introduce you?”
“I mean, it’ll be the first time one of your hook-ups hasn’t disappeared at the first light of morning, and the first time we’ve ever met one.”
“Shut up and come in.” Chester laughed.

He closed the door, “Michelle, honey.”
I sat up, and pushed my hair out of my face.
“Boys, this is Michelle, Michelle, these are my friends, and members of the band.” He said.
I stood up, “Nice to meet you all.” I shook their hands.
“Some party last night, huh?” This coming from the tall green-eyed man.
“I tend to get pretty sloppy when I drink.” I laughed.
He looked over at Chester, “Was she sloppy?” he asked.
Chester slipped his hand around my waist, “None of your business.” he answered.
“So what’s the story with you two, if you don’t mind my asking.” This one was taller, had dark hair, dark eyes and a bright smile.
“Well boys, I actually really, really like this girl. She’s amazing actually, and we’ve been through a lot of similar experiences, so we’ve decided to try dating again, because it’s been too many nights of drunken random hook-ups for both of us, and we want to have a real relationship again. So, I suppose a proper introduction is in order. Gentleman, this is Michelle Kennedy, my girlfriend. Michelle, these are my friends, Mike, Rob, Joe, and Brad.”
“Well, good for you Chester, you’ve got yourself a little hottie.” Brad smiled.
I blushed, “Well thank you.”
Chester rolled his eyes, “I’m aware of my girlfriend’s appearance, dude.” He laughed.
“Well, I for one, am very glad that Chester finally found someone he’s ready to commit to. It’s been a rough few years for him, and I was starting to lose hope. He must see something great in you, because he doesn’t usually keep women around very long. Congratulations.” Mike said.
“Thank you, Mike. I’ve been in a similar situation for awhile now myself. And it’s been awhile since I’ve found anyone so genuine and sweet as he is. We already have so much in common, and we really haven’t known each other long, I can’t wait to see what’s in store for us.” I hugged Chester.
“I can’t imagine the things you two talk about, or if there’s even much talking, but I’m happy for you guys.” Mike said.
“More talking than anything at this point, but if she has anything to say about it, I’m sure that will be happening more often.” Chester kissed me hard, and I smiled against his lips.
“Wow, you have a perfect ass, Michelle.” Brad commented.
Mike smacked his arm, “Stop looking, dude. That’s disrespectful.”
“I’m not going to not admire an ass like that! It’s nice.” Brad shrugged.
Chester and I had become too engrossed in our kissing to pay them any mind, his hands were wandering down my waist to my hips, inching closer to the hem of my dress.
“It looks like you two are preoccupied, so we’ll just be going, Michelle, it was very nice meeting you, and Chester, we’ll see you later.” Mike ushered them out, closing the door behind him.

I finally broke the kiss and looked into his eyes, “Is this happening?” I asked, breathlessly.
He smiled, “Only if you want it to.”
I reached behind my back and unzipped my dress, letting it fall to the floor, “Does this answer your question?”
He kissed me again, hands pressed to my back, my hands were on either side of his face, we fell down onto the couch, not breaking the kiss.
His hand found my bra, and in a single swift moment, he unhooked it, and it fell away with my dress.
I smiled, and let my hair down, falling in a dark curtain around our faces.
“No fair. I’m almost completely naked, and you’re still completely dressed.” I whispered, unbuttoning his jeans.
“I’m sure it won’t take you long to fix that, my love.” he replies, nibbling on my neck.
I pulled his zipper down, and slowly slipped my hand into his boxers.
He smiled and kissed me again, while I slowly stroked him.
He moaned and I felt my body aching for him.
He pulled off his pants, and I pulled his shirt over his head.
I climbed back on top of him, straddling him.
All that was left was our underwear.
He kissed me, pulling my body against his, our breathing and heartbeats speeding up.
“I want you.” He begs in a whisper.
I could feel him, and I wanted him too.
And he knew it.
I slipped my panties off with one hand, stroking him with the other.
I lowered myself, allowing him to slide inside.
My body shook, and I bit my lip.
“Oh baby.” he whispered, his hands caressed my breasts, while I started slowly.
He kissed the skin under my ear, “Don’t hold back, love. Remember, this isn’t our first time together. Let me have it.” he breathed.
I smiled deviously, “Okay, but you asked for it.”
I picked up the pace, grinding against him harder and faster, one hand on his chest, the other tangled in my hair, pushing it out of my face while I moaned loudly.
When I looked down at him, he was smiling up at me, like he’d never seen anything so beautiful in his life.
I leaned over him, and kissed him.
“I love you.” he whispered.
I was taken aback by it, but didn’t stop.
I just smiled at him, and kissed him again, “I love you too.” I whispered.
“Baby, I’m gonna,” he didn’t finish his sentence before he dug his fingertips into my hips, threw his head back and groaned loudly, “Oh god.”
I felt myself getting close, so I leaned over and nibbled on his neck, “I’m coming for you baby.” I moaned seductively in his ear, moving faster against him.
When it hit me, my legs shook and chills ran down my spine as I cried out into his neck, with two handfuls of the pillow behind his head.
It radiated through my body, making every small movement feel like heaven.
He wrapped his arms around me, and kissed the side of my head, “You’re so beautiful.”
I collapsed on top of him, both of us breathing heavily, and sticky with sweat.
He reaches over and tucks my hair behind my ear, smiling.
“It’s much more enjoyable when we’re sober, isn’t it?” he chuckles.
“Yeah.” I replied breathlessly.
“I last a hell of a lot longer too.” he jokes.
I shifted my weight off of him, and the movement sent a residual shockwave through my body, making me moan once more.
“Easy baby.” He whispered, pulling the blanket over both of us.

My head laying on his chest, his arms around me, we nodded off on the couch together, again.
About an hour later, I heard my phone ringing in my purse.
Chester checked his watch as I got up to get my phone, “I gotta get going babe, do you need me to take you home?” he asked, picking his clothes up.
“Yeah, you can just drop me off at my house.” I slipped back into my dress and found my bra and panties thrown over furniture.
“Here.” he handed me a piece of paper.
“What’s this?” I asked, unfolding it.
“My phone number, so we can call each other. I already can’t wait to see you again.” he told me, while searching for his keys in the couch cushions
“You put them on the table in the entryway, babe.” I recalled, slipping my shoes back on.
He walked around the corner and picked them up.
“You’re going to call me, right?” he asked.
I smiled a little and nodded at him, “Of course I will.” I picked my purse up and followed him out the door.
“Good.” He kissed me and opened the door for me.

We were sitting at a red light, holding hands, when I looked over at him, “Chester? Did you mean it when you said you loved me earlier?” I asked.
He smiled, not taking his eyes off the road, “Yes I did mean it, from the bottom of my heart. Did you mean it?” he asked.
I couldn’t help but smile like a fool, “Of course I did. I haven’t felt this way about someone in a long time, but I feel like you’re special. You’re better than all the others.” I said.
“You’re basing that on my bedroom skills.” he jokes, smiling at me.
“No, truly! You are better than the others. I’m so lucky to have found you.”
He pulled up to the curb in front of my house and put the car in park.
He leaned over and kissed me, “I do love you. So very much. And I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for us.”
I smiled, “Me either. I’ll call you later, but you’d better get to work.” I got out of the car and blew him a kiss before walking up the sidewalk to my front door.
He smiled and drove away.