Breaking the Habit

“You mean you haven’t taken it in three days? Do you realize how many times we’ve had sex since the party?!” the panic in his voice was making me panic.
I leaned against the wall, my face in my hands, the tears camouflaged by the water as I cried softly.
“We aren’t ready for this yet. What are we going to do?” I asked.
He rinsed the conditioner out of my hair and wiped my face with a washcloth, “Relax, it’s not a for sure thing yet, don’t panic. We’re going to get your stuff, you’ll just have to keep taking them like nothing happened, and we’ll be fine.” he said.
“You’re right, we just have to be more careful.” he helped me to my feet, and I washed my face.
“We’ll have kids when we’re ready, but right now isn’t that time.” he kissed my forehead.
I grabbed my towel and dried my face, “You’re right. It’s not going to happen right now, let’s just get dressed and get this nightmare over with.” I sighed.

I walked back into the living room, and noticed my phone on the coffee table.
I picked it up, and I had eight missed calls from Chauntelle, four from Derek, and about thirty text messages from both of them.
I tapped on Chauntelle’s picture, and it started ringing.
“Michelle, I’ve been calling you since 7am.” She said.
“Yeah, my phone was in the living room, I was, um, busy.” I hesitated.
“Uh-oh, I know what that means. You’ve been taking your pill, right?” she asked.
In a split-second decision, I lied, “Of course I have. We were just going to take a shower and head out the door, but it led elsewhere, and two hours later, we’re finally showered and getting ready to leave.” I glanced over my shoulder where Chester was pouring coffee into two cups.
“You want us to meet you over there, or at Gabi’s?” She asked.
“Just meet us here, we’ll be ready in a few minutes.” I told her.
“Give us about ten, and we’ll be there.” She said.

“Was that your sister?” Chester handed me my coffee.
“Yeah, she and Chris are on their way over now.” I sipped it, and the warmth made me feel better about everything.
“Are you sure you want to wait? To get married, I mean. After that performance earlier, I want to marry you as soon as I can, before someone else steals you away. I want you for the rest of my life.” he kissed me.
“I’m sure. Because ring or not, I’m going to be yours every moment of forever.” I smiled.
“I’m going to hold you to that.” he turns and goes into the bedroom to finish dressing.

I was brushing my hair when the doorbell rang.
“I got it babe.” I called, walking down the hall.
“Morning.” I greeted them with a hug and a smile.
“We expected to see you sooner, Mickey, but Chauntelle said you got distracted.” Chris eyed me suspiciously.
“Well, all I wanted was a shower, but..”
Chester walked in, shirt half on, “You started it.” He said sternly.
They both looked at me, and I shrugged, “He kissed me, what was I supposed to do?”
“It was only a kiss!” Chester laughed.
“I may have started it, but your eyes were begging for it before you kissed me.” I argued.
He shook his head, “Enough of whose fault it was, I’m not worried about that. Because it was..”
“Shut up!” I whipped around to glare at him.
He laughed and walked back into the bedroom.
“I’m sorry I even asked.” Chris laughed, sitting on the couch.
“If you’re really sorry, I wouldn’t sit on that couch.” I said, slipping my shoes on.
He quickly stood back up, “Is anywhere safe?”
I looked around, “Dining room chairs haven’t been touched, yet.”
He rolled his eyes, and sat down at the table.
“You two are worse than teenagers, I swear.” Chauntelle laughed.
“I don’t think I was even this bad as a teenager.” Chester said.
“You didn’t know me yet.” I picked up my purse and walked out the front door.
“She’s a handful, you ready for it?” Chris asked.
Chester smiled and nodded, “I’m looking forward to it, Chris.”

Chauntelle and Chris followed us to Gabi’s house.
You can do this.” Chester told me.
“Stay here, don’t come in until I signal you. Them too. I’m going in alone, but I’ll need you guys for back-up when things get ugly, because trust me, they’re going to.”
Before he could argue, I got out of the car, looked over at Chauntelle, and mouthed, “Stay put.”

I walked up to the door and turned the knob.
It was unlocked, not a good sign.
I walked inside, and straight up the stairs to my room.
Gabi met me in the hallway, coming out of her room.
Anger glinted in her eyes, and she crossed her arms.
“You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve, coming here after the way you guys treated our dad, who was only trying to help you.” She snapped.
“Dad was out of line. He has been for awhile, I simply set him straight.” I opened the door and went in my room.
She followed me, “He was right, and you didn’t want to hear it. Like always you’re going to act out to defy him because you think you know everything.”
“I don’t claim to know everything, Gabriella. I don’t know much, but what I do know, is that I’m not a child anymore, and I’m sick of dad treating me like I am. I’m sick of all of you treating me like I am. Like because I never had a normal childhood, you all think that by treating me like one, you’re giving me something I missed out on. Enough, Gabi! I’m doing what I want to do, because it’s what I need to do, and none of you are stopping me. I’m here to get my stuff, and then I’ll be out of your hair for good.” I turned and started throwing clothes into a bag.
“Where is he, Michelle?” she asked, crossly.
“Out front. He wanted to come in with me, but I told him I wouldn’t call for him if I didn’t need him.” I never looked at her, I just kept my eyes on my task.
“Angelo is downstairs. And if he sees you, you’re never getting out of here.”
“I’ll fight him with my bare fists like when we were kids. I am not afraid of any of you anymore.” I looked up at her.
She saw the determination in my eyes, and faltered a little, “Derek is down there too. They’re in the sunroom with Ryder.”
“Do you all think you can intimidate me into listening to you by threatening me? We’re not kids anymore, your scare tactics are old, outdated and no longer have any effect on me. My life, the life I’m choosing is sitting out there in that car, and if you can’t accept that, then you won’t be a part of that. And I’ll tell all three of you like I told dad, if that isn’t a deal breaker in this, then you’ve already made up your mind, and I’m better off without you.”
I tossed my books, CDs and everything else into a box and pulled the blankets, sheets and pillows off the bed.
“We care about you, he cares about fucking you. There’s a big difference, Michelle.” She barked.
“How the hell do you know anything about what he cares for me?! You just assume he’s going to hurt me, because it’s happened before, and because it happened to you, but not everyone out there is like them, some men are actually good. If you never take the risk, you won’t find one. You’ll end up where I have been the past three years, and then when everyone starts treating you like they treated me, you’ll understand why I want to get away from this family. When you hit rock bottom, you’ll realize that going up isn’t as easy as they make it sound, and you’ll have to claw your way out until you’re physically, mentally, and psychologically exhausted. If that’s what you choose, then fine. But I’m not living like that anymore.” I closed the box and looked up at her.
“Tell me something Michelle, and be honest, how many times have you slept with him since the party?” she asked smugly.
“Several, he’s an amazing lover, and the more we’re around each other, the more natural it becomes.” I answered.
She reached over to the dresser, “And these have been here since the day BEFORE you went to the party where you met him. You haven’t taken this for three days, and you’re over there screwing him. It’s like you’re trying to ruin your life.” she laughed spitefully.
I snatched the pills from her, “If it happens, it happens, we made the mistake, and we’ll deal with the consequences, but either way, as of right now, NOTHING I do, is ANY of yours, dad’s, or anyone else’s business.”
“Dad is just going to keep showing up over there to make sure you’re not drunk again.” She said.
I picked up my duffel bag and my three boxes, “Let him.”
With that, I marched down the stairs, and out the front door, where Chester helped me load my stuff into the car.
Then I turned and flung my key at the front door, and got in the car.
We pulled away from the curb just as Angelo and Derek burst out the door.
“Do not go home. Dad will lead them there, and there’ll be a fight waiting for us.” I told Chester.
“I’m not going home, remember? We’re spending the night at Mike’s before we leave in the morning. Later on, I’ll sneak back to the house and grab anything we left behind. They won’t know where to look for you, so we’ll be safe.” he said squeezing my hand reassuringly.
“Just don’t let them see you. Park a few blocks away and go through the alley and the backyard.” I said.
“Baby, calm down. You did great back there, and I’m really proud of you for standing up to her yourself.”
“Thanks babe. I felt brave at the time, but now I feel like I could shatter at any moment. I just want to put this city and all of this mess as far behind me as I can.” I sighed.
“We’re on our way baby.” he kissed me.
“Gabi knows that I haven’t been taking my birth control. She’s probably going to tell dad, so we need to get out of this place sooner than later.” I sighed, after a short silence between us.
“We made our bed, and we’re going to lie in it. Whatever happens, we’ll deal with it together.” he stared ahead intenly.
“If that does happen, you realize we can’t come back here, right?” I asked.
He nods, eyes still on the highway, “I know.”
“I’m sorry.” I whispered.
“Don’t be, love. I’m saving you from this nightmare. Because I love you, and I want to. Whatever will be, will be, and it will be with you by my side. You, and whoever else may happen to come along.” he finally looks at me with a smile and kisses my hand.
“So, are your friends going to have an issue with us hiding out with them?” I asked.
“Absolutely not. They’re already well aware of how fond I am of you, plus, once it’s all explained, I promise they’ll be on our side.” he shrugs.
“I hope so. I just don’t want them getting roped into this fucking mess I’ve made.” I sighed.
“To be honest, they’ll probably want into the mess, because after hearing what you’ve been through, they’re going to be amazed that you’ve associated with your family for this long.” he said.
I let my head fall back against the seat, “I guess since I was in the middle of all of it, I never knew how unusual and messed up the whole situation looked to the outside world.”
Chester shakes his head, “Anyone who wasn’t somehow involved in it would think that it was just plain fucked up, and that you deserved better than the mother you had. And now that I’ve met your father, I can say that he honestly wasn’t so awesome either.”
“They told me not to tell anyone about it, because they would think I was a whore and a bad person. So for a long time, I didn’t. Not to anyone that didn’t already know about it. Not until now.” I whispered.
Chester sighed, “I know. Because I went through nearly the exact same thing as you did. And I kept it locked up inside me until it almost destroyed me, until I realized it was destroying me. Telling someone else helped me, and it’s made the coping process a lot easier.” he parked the car and hugged me, “But I don’t want you to think, that because of what happened to you, that you’re less of a person than anyone else. I don’t want you to think that you don’t deserve love and happiness because of it, because you do. I do. We deserve each other, and even though the circumstances weren’t ideal, I’m glad we found each other.” he whispered, with tears in his eyes.
I finally broke down, “I am too.” I whispered, burying my face in his shirt.
“Everyone can say that I don’t love you, but I do. They don’t understand how much I love you. And I never expect them to. I just want you to know. You’re the only one that matters.” He put his arm around me.
“Say you’ll never leave me.” I whispered.
His arm tightened around my shoulders, “I’ll never leave you, Michelle.” His voice was a whisper in my ear.
For a few minutes, we sat there on the side of the road, lost in each other’s arms, and the silence around us.
“We’d better get going baby. They’re expecting you and we’re sitting ducks out here.” I finally said.
“They know you’re coming too. I explained it and they’re excited for us.” He replied.

He started the car and merged back into the highway.
“So how much do they know?” I asked.
“Enough without knowing too much.” He said.
“That sounds unsettling.” I laughed.
“I left out the steamy stuff, but they got the idea.” He shrugged.
I rolled my eyes, “Lovely.”
“Relax babe, these guys are like my brothers. And they’re not idiots, they saw how we are for each other. It isn’t difficult to connect the dots.”
“They’re not going to hit on me, are they?” I asked.
He laughed, “Now I can’t promise that, but I can promise that I’ll be there to remind them who you
belong to.” He smiled at me.

We pulled up at the house and he looked at me, “They’re my family, so they’re your family too. Try and relax. They mean you no harm.”
We walked up to the door, which swung open,
“There you are!” This was the Brad character is met once before.
“I told you we’d be here. Just had some business to take care of first.” Chester nodded me ahead.
Brad opened the door, and I stepped inside.
“No worries Michelle, we don’t bite.” Mike walked out of the kitchen, and hugged me.
“Speak for yourself, I happen to be a biter.” This coming from Brad.
Chester gave him a look, and Mike spoke, “You’d better not bite her, she’s spoken for.”
Brad just laughed, “She doesn’t look like the type that likes it rough anyway.”
“Oh you’d be very surprised.” Chester quipped, smiling.
I opened my mouth to tell him off, but again, Mike spoke first, “Dude, that is between you and her, that’s none of our business.”
Chester shrugged, “She only looks tame.”
I rolled my eyes.
“I just made coffee, you guys look like you could use some.” Mike showed me into the kitchen.
“Michelle, this is my girlfriend Kayla. Kayla, this is Chester’s girlfriend Michelle.”
She was short and slim, with long dark brown hair and olive skin.
She walked over and hugged me warmly, “It’s very nice to meet you. You know since our guys are best friends, that makes us best friends by default.”
I smiled, “I believe you’re right, and that’s good because since I’m starting over, I need a new best friend.” I said.
“Great!” She smiled.
“So, Mike tells me you’re from Chicago.” Kayla goes back to stirring the food she was cooking.
“Yeah, both and raised.” I walked around the island and washed my hands.
“The Windy City really as windy as they say?” She asked.
I started helping her chop bell pepper, “Definitely. And cold too.” I replied.
“Coldest winters around, they say.” Kayla said.
“Let’s just say, I prefer California.” I laughed.
“That bad, huh?” She smiled.
“At least a couple of feet every time it snowed. It’s fun the first couple of times, but then it starts to suck not big able to go anywhere and being afraid your roof is going to cave in on you.” I laughed.

“I see you two are hitting it off well.” Chester said.
“I’m easy to get along with.” I smiled.
“I know you are.” He smiles back.
“She must be, if you like her. From the way I hear it, you don’t usually keep girls around for very long.” Kayla shrugged.
“I’ve never gotten attached to one until now.” Chester smiled at me.
“What are you cooking?” Chester asked.
“Stir-fry.” Kayla answered.

In my purse, I heard my phone ringing.
“Hold on, Kayla.” I grabbed it and answered it.
“Hello?” I asked.
“Where are you, I’m coming to get you.” My dad’s voice was harsh and loud.
“Like I’d tell you. Dad, I’m not a little girl anymore, and I’m finally doing what’s best for me. And unfortunately, there’s no place for you in that life. I’m changing my number and you won’t have it.” I hung up and tucked my phone back into my purse.
“You okay baby?” Chester asked.
I nodded, putting on my best brave face, “I’m fine. Just ready to get out of this town for awhile.”
He hugged me, “Tomorrow morning, we’re out of here, baby girl.”
“You know, Chester kind of filled me in on your situation, and I just want to tell you, you’re handling all of it very, very well, from what I’ve seen. If I were a recovering alcoholic in your situation, the first and only thing I’d want is a drink. You’re being a real trooper.” Mike said.
“Believe me, the thought has crossed my mind, but I know that getting wasted isn’t going to help, because when I wake up the next day, I’ll have a hangover, and my problems will still be there waiting to rule my life. It’s not worth it. Getting drunk at you guys party the other night was the first time I’d had anything in a couple of years, and I went way too far. But it brought me to Chester, so I’m not counting it as a total failure.” I shrugged.
“I was there, and I saw how messed up you were. It seemed like maybe you were trying to forget something you didn’t want to think about.” Mike looked at me.
I looked at Chester, who looked intrigued.
“It was the anniversary of my failed wedding. I was supposed to have gotten married on that day four years ago, and every year since, I’ve spent that day binge-drinking to forget about the fact that apparently, I wasn’t good enough for that person.” I shrugged and looked at my feet.
I felt the tension in the room, and the calmness turned to anger.
“Now that’s not fair. Just because some idiot didn’t realize what he had, doesn’t mean that you’re not good enough. It sounds like he was the one who wasn’t good enough for you. You shouldn’t be beating yourself up over that, especially if it’s been almost five years ago.” Mike crossed his arms.
Chester nodded, “I agree with him. That dumb ass didn’t deserve a girl like you. And you shouldn’t have EVER blamed yourself for what he did. I still don’t even think I deserve you, but for whatever reason, you love me, which I’m grateful for, I just don’t understand it. You put other people first, you worry more about others than yourself, and you’d do anything for those you love, even if they wouldn’t do the same for you. How you became such an amazing person after everything you’ve been through, I’ll probably never understand, but you are not going to feel bad for the past anymore. It’s over. You’re here with me, now. And I’ll never, ever, ever leave you.” He kissed me.
“We’re a family, this bunch, and you’re one of us now. We’re your family now.” Mike motioned to everyone in the room, who smiled and nodded in agreement.
“I left one family and now I’m being adopted into another. I’m just glad I’ll never have to be alone again.” I smiled at them.
Kayla hugged me and Chester, “Not for a second. Not if we can help it.”
“So, when are you two crazy kids tying the knot? Chester told us that he asked you.” Joe asked.
We looked at each other, and I answered first, “I decided next month would be the best time, and you’re all going to be there.”
Chester looked at me, shocked.
“Hell yeah, we’ll be there!” Kayla yelled.
“Can’t wait.” Mike smiled.
Chester put his arm around me, pulling me into him, “When did you decide this? I thought you wanted to wait.”
“Life’s too short, and you’re not going anywhere, so why not do it? Besides, Michelle Bennington has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
He kissed me, “I’ve never heard a more beautiful name in my life. I can’t wait.”
“You know,” I mused, “I still don’t have an engagement ring.”
“Well, we can fix that, can’t we?” he asked.
“I’ll trust that you’ll get one I’ll love.” I whispered, kissing him.
“Let’s go, I want you to pick it out.” He smiled.
“No. I want you to choose my ring, because I don’t want to see it until you propose to me properly.”
He smiled, “My girl, always full of surprises. I love never knowing what you’ll say or do next.”
“I like to keep people guessing.” I shrugged.
“You two are so adorable together.” Kayla squealed.
“You mean, get on down on one knee and everything?” Chester asked.
I nodded, “Yes. Like a man is supposed to do when he wants to ask a woman to marry him.”
He smiled and looked around the room.
He knelt down on one knee, and pulled a box out of his pocket, “Like this?” he opened the box to reveal a beautiful princess cut diamond ring.
I gasped, “Babe, when did you even have the time to do this?” I asked.
“I did it before I came home from work yesterday. Even if you weren’t going to say yes yet, I wanted to have it for when you were ready.” he shrugs. “I planned this all out with these guys then too. This is the proper proposal you wanted. All of your family and friends right here to see it happen.” he smiled.
I felt the tears on my cheeks and I covered my mouth with my hand.
“Oh my god.” was all I could say.
“So,” he continued, “Michelle Kennedy, will you marry me?” he asked.
I wiped my eyes, and smiled through a mess of tears, “Yes, I will.”
He smiled again, and slipped the ring on my finger, standing up and kissing me, “I love you.” he whispered.
“I love you too.” I replied.
“Why did you ask me to pick my ring out, if you already had it?” I asked, admiring the ring.
“Because, I know you’re stubborn and would insist that I chose it.” he answered.
“What if I’d agreed to pick it out myself?”
“I planned for you to do that too, and the plan was to kneel and say, “Will this one do?” I haven’t known you long, but I knew how to plan this to be perfect for you, because you deserve the world, and I want to give it to you.” he whispered, holding me close.
“I can’t believe I found you.”
“So, are you still okay with next month?” Chester asked.
“Well, considering almost everyone that will be at the wedding is in this room right now, it’s going to be a small event, which we should be able to put together in a month. I’m thinking September 25.” I said.
“I’m the best man, right?” Mike asked.
“Of course!” Chester slapped him on the back, laughing.
“Can I be a bridesmaid?” Kayla asked.
“I’m only going to have two, so yes of course.” I nodded.
She squealed excitedly.
“Welcome to the family, girl. You’re gonna fit in fine.” Joe hugged me.
Brad, Rob, Mike, Chester and Kayla joined in.

Chester left me with my new family to grab the rest of the stuff we needed from our house, promising to stay hidden.

I was sitting on the couch drinking wine with Kayla.
“Are you sure this is okay?” she asked.
“Of course. I know my limit, and this is a night to celebrate. I’ll be fine.”
“So you’re separated from your family?” Kayla looked at me cautiously.
“Yes, all except for my brother and sister, the rest of them are dead to me.”
“Have you told them that you’re getting married yet?” Mike asked.
“They know he wanted to get married, but I haven’t told them that he actually proposed with a ring yet. I should actually go and call them.” I picked up my phone, excusing myself.
“You and Chester are sleeping in the last room on the left upstairs, if you want some privacy.” Mike told me.

I went upstairs into the room, and closed the door.
I dialed Chauntelle’s number and the line rang.
“Hey Mickey, what’s going on?” she asked.
“Chaun, I have something huge to tell you.” I couldn’t help but smile.
“Are you pregnant?!” she asked.
I laughed, “No, I’m not pregnant. Not yet, at least I don’t think so, anyways, no, that’s not what I called to tell you.” I said.
“You don’t think?” She asked.
“Chaun, focus.” I laughed.
“Okay, sorry, proceed.” She said.
“I’m engaged. He proposed to me, for real, with a ring, and I said yes. We’re getting married next month.”
She screamed so loudly, I had to hold the phone away from my ear.
“HE DID?! WITH AN ACTUAL RING?! I WANT TO SEE IT!” She yelled.
“Yes, with an actual ring, Chaun. I’ll send you a picture.” I told her.
“I’m so happy for you, Michelle. You deserve this.” she sounded like she was crying.
“Are you crying?” I asked, noticing that I had tears on my face as well.
“Yes! Because I was starting to think that I was never going to see you finally happy.”
“I know, I can’t believe it’s actually going to happen this time. I’m actually getting married. I’m terrified and excited at the same time.”
“Don’t be, it’s going to be amazing. You two belong together, and you’re going to be happy.” She said.
“I know. Nobody is going to ruin this for me. Not this time.” I smiled.